Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Caffeinated

I wake up to a fresh pot of coffee and start my day.
Writing, reading, journaling, yoga––and finally more coffee.
While running errands I decide to stop at Starbucks for a grande iced latte.
Now, at home and comfortably seated on my sofa, I sip a sweet cappuccino and binge watch episodes of The Good Wife on Amazon prime.
I’m perfectly caffeinated.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Be Here, Now

I felt the urgency to be present;

When I realized I was drinking someone else's coffee.

#SlowDown 

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Destructive Ego

Waking up from my ego infested mood;

It plagued me all day yesterday, but with a new day comes a new opportunity.

My head creates drama and my soul seeks peace;

Faith and a deep breath are working against the wheels in my head; I have the choice to move past this moment.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Manhattan Quartet

A Manhattan at the bar to get the party started;
A Manhattan in the lounge to keep the party going;
A Manhattan with our entrée to elevate the party;
A Manhattan as a nightcap to wrap up a solid reunion with my closest friends.
The perfect Manhattan Quartet!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Peace through Presence

I’m currently reading 3 unrelated books; randomly, each of them is delivering the same message: be present.
The memo (in triplicate) is loud and clear.
All of the yoga and self-discovery books have inspired me to spend my energy investing in this moment.
Finding space to loosen my grip on goal setting and planning; accepting what I have now and releasing what I think I need.
I continue to find comfort in the unexplainable magic that happens when I stay positive and trust in God.
The law of attraction is no Secret; it’s truth.  Peace is ours when we decide that we want peace and actively seek it.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Pilates

The deception is real;

I don't need to be reformed, the mat was hard enough. 

My core feels stronger just looking at the UGI ball;

Now I have to hold it over my head and curl up?

I'm certain my body will hate me tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Red-Eye

Get to the airport,

Drink heavily,

Board your flight,

Pass out,

Wake up 5 hours later with a major headache;

Now, start your day in a new time zone without sleep.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Spring Is In The Air...

Pollen swirling all around;
Up my nose yellow dust clouds stir and sting.
Watery eyes and unexpected sneezing.
Spring has sprung all over my Kleenex;
Pretty flowers reduced to phlem.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Overachiever's Reminder:

There is a time for work and a time for play;
A space for creative growth and a cushion for rest;
An opportunity to seek new horizons and the gratitude of accepting where you are;
A moment to silence the chaos and be still, eventually welcoming the joyous music of the birds networking in the rustling trees.
Balance is available everywhere at anytime––when we remember to breathe.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Fake It; Positively

A forced smile is the best start to a change in mood;
Positive energy doesn’t take much momentum––and will always lead to a brighter day.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Feed Me!

I’m not sure that my late night Postmates order––pizza from MiDiCi––is helping me with my body issues.
The main issue: I want to be thin, I just love food too much.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Is There Anything Worse?

I could make a list of things that are no doubt worse than waking up with a splitting headache including: death, the loss of a limb, if Starbucks closed all of their (approximately) 14,000 company-operated and licenses stores in the US, or if 30 Rock gets cancelled–––wait, don’t tell me...
But in this moment, my pounding skull and the pressure in my sinuses feels like a bigger disaster than the Presidential Election of 2016! ...Too soon?

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Self Reflection...

I spent my twenties fighting for opportunities;
And most of my early thirties exploiting those experiences.
Now, I’m ready to begin enjoying the hustle.
As I confront the next decade I’m asking myself: what will bring me joy?
The answers are less about creative goals and more about quality of life.
Finding gratitude in the present and trusting that each day will bring me closer to the most evolved, enlightened, well-rounded man I can be.
My role model, my grandma, was inspirational beyond belief; not because of what she accomplished in life––but in who she was and how she lived her life.
That’s my new aim––not to be remember by what I accomplished, but rather in how I served humanity.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

I'm Over Reality...

My addiction to reality television can be traced back to the summer before my junior year of high school. MTV introduced audiences to a groundbreaking unscripted docuseries called The Real World.
The show was a first of its kind.  Incorporating six twenty-something “strangers” picked (cast) to live in a house together in a popular US city.
The first season launched in New York City, followed by Los Angeles, but it was the the third season, in San Fransisco, where the show found its voice.
I was fixated on the Puck vs. Pedro conflict; not out yet myself––I was mesmerized by the courage and conviction that Pedro Zamora embodied.
Pedro was the voice of a new generation and network executives realized that they could make just as much money with a fraction of the budget.
The landscape of reality television evolved over the years and continued to exploit willing fame-seekers to whore themselves out on television (I’m still willing to be one of them).
Alas, I’ve finally reached my limit.
The turning point for me was when a New Jersey housewife turned inmate allowed cameras to document her downfall and hopeful rise back to fame.
The reality is that nobody really lives that reality––unless they’re a reality star.
I’m ready for a little truth in my life, in the form of Big Little Secrets.
Bye bye Bravolebrities.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Feet Up...

I’m celebrating the completion of my second manuscript by:
binging Netflix,
eating popcorn,
cuddling my puppies,
and ignoring emails.
Sometimes the creative process deserves a break.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Creative; Present

The path to living in the present requires letting go of the past.
Yesterday I finished my second book, which forced me to spend a lot of time recalling events from my past, so it became very hard for me to return to the present while working.
Fortunately, I finished the first draft of my new manuscript, Is It Safe To Come Out? and I’m ready to return to the present.
Decidedly, I’m going to refocus my creative path––and seek a project that requires a focused awareness in the Now.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Truth on Tour:

There isn’t enough Starbucks coffee or Advil in the world that can prepare me for my day.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Long Day; Deep Breaths

I breathe in and I breathe out;

The day is long—I won't freak out!

Cheesy poems help my mood;

That and a lot of coffee!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The Good With the Bad

On hold;
I sit annoyed, waiting for a human.
While waiting for contact with life,
My computer reminds me that it’s time to check in for my flight.
It’s a friendly reminder alert that reminds me: technological advancements can be frustrating... but sometimes they can save you from a middle seat on Southwest.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Creative Free Flow

The creative journey is the purpose;
Not the outcome of the project.
It’s impossible to force a dream into reality.
That doesn’t mean to stop dreaming;
It means to keep dreaming, creating, evolving––eventually that energy will guide me to a new opportunity.
The only path I need be concerned with,
Is the path I’m on now.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Work In Progress: Being Present

I catch myself staring off into space;
How can I be more present?
Following the instructions (which I’ve combined from several self-discovery books I’ve picked along my journey), I take a deep breathe and remind myself that just acknowledging the fact that I wasn’t present––returns me to the present.
Feeling a sense of relief, I smile––I am present.
Then, I return to the thought that had me staring off into space.
Being present is a work in progress...

Monday, March 6, 2017

Sway Where The Wind Blows

The raging wind outside my window mirrors the storm inside my soul;
Eager to stir up new energy and carry away old, dried, leaves.
A season of fresh perspective and clear mind.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Truth on Tour:

Waking up at 5AM is never easy;
No matter how much sleep you get the night before,
Or how much caffeine you drink at 5:05AM.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Light Brings Clarity

In a dark room, switch on the light and you can see.
In a dark moment, seek out the light and you will see;
It’s that simple.

Friday, March 3, 2017

God and The 405

The last place I’d expect to connect with God is on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles.
Yet there among the texting, traffic, and road rage I felt His Presence.
As I was driving north in the middle lane just right of the “fast lane” with Jeff in the passenger seat––after a long day of errands––a women in the lane to my right wasn’t paying attention and began to change lanes.
She was an inch away from the right side of our car when I swerved slightly to my left to avoid getting hit; there wasn’t even enough time to honk my horn to warn her.
Before I knew it, our car was spinning out of control.
In that moment, I was completely calm.  I continued to turn my steering wheel into each turn (thanks dad for the overbearing and relentless driving lessons over the summer I turned 15) and I maintained visual contact with the road.
I scanned the road––which to our blessed fortune was suddenly completely clear––and I managed to correct our vehicle back into the lane I was previously driving in.
I was aware and focused the entire time.  Although I was prepared to hear a monstrous crashing sound and expected to wake up in the hospital, Jeff and I escaped the incident without hurting ourselves or anyone else.
I credit the self-discovery books, prayer, and meditation for my ability to stay mindful and present in that moment.
I thank God for guiding us to safety.
It was the perfect reminder that my path is not controlled by me; but how I react to the journey is.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Remember:

Complaining does not change the circumstance for the better;

Positive energy replaces the negative thought process and provides a clear perspective for action! 

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

LENTing Go

Through sacrifice we find light;
As I child I gave up chocolate, toys, and (tried to give up) homework for Lent.
Unaware of the purpose and starving for junk food until Easter, this time was nothing more than something I did because I was told I had to.
As an adult, I observe through letting go by choice.
Not because a church or religion tells me to, but because it’s the perfect opportunity to deepen my connection with God; Enlightenment.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

A Glimpse

A day of clarity;
No fears, doubts, or judgements.
Pure bliss in the moment.
Grateful for what I have, had, and will have––but present.
Connected to God and The Universe;
Breathing in light and exhaling love and joy.
A fleeting glimpse of enlightenment;
It’s enough to carry me through the week.

Monday, February 27, 2017

OSCAR® Present

I spent the past weekend sharing my knowledge and inspiration with a group of young artists who seek to manifest their passion for performing into a career.
I was forced to push myself beyond my negative energy and (thankfully) rare unhappy emotions.
Even while I was leading a creative exercise or teaching a room full of dancers a piece of choreography, I found myself fighting the voices in my head.
I was constantly questioning my path.  Trying to decide if I still desired to pursue my own career as a performer.  I’ve been traveling on this road for almost twenty years––and I’ve arrived at many brilliant destinations along the way––but I still have so many sights I’d like to see.
Do I still have the drive in me?
I was thankful that I was aware of my thoughts––and did my best to acknowledge them and return to the present.
Ultimately, I found my way back most of the time.
After a short flight from Seattle to Los Angeles, I got home and turned on the Oscars® telecast that I had set on my DVR.
Within the first three minutes of the recording, I had my answer.
Yes; I still very much want to work in this industry.
And how lucky am I that I have a job that allows me to grow as an artist, while working with future artists?
I was overcome with a sense of calm, joy, and tears of encouragement;
The only place where my dream is alive is in the present––nothing else matters.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

20 Year Friendship

Not all friendships are a two-way street.
Similarly, not all bonds last forever.
I’m grateful that this is not the case with my friend Tracie.
Tracie is a fellow choreographer whom I met in my early twenties in New York City.
An instant connection was formed and has blossomed into a deep meaningful relationship.
Motivated by laughter, creativity, respect, support, admiration, inspiration, honesty, and much, much more.
I realized very quickly––especially in the entertainment industry––that very few people will continue to be excited for you as your career develops.  Even more challenging to find, is a friend who champions for you in every endeavor you embark on.
One of the best aspects of our friendship happens when we’re not speaking;
No matter how much time has passed or how long it’s been since the last time we saw one another––with one look we are instantly on the same page.
After nearly twenty years, Tracie has long departed the “friend” category––I consider her family.
My grandma always used to say, “Make new friends, but keep the old.  New ones are silver, the gold ones are gold.”
I completely understand that now.
I feel so fortunate to have a friend who I can work with, laugh with, create with, and yes, cry with––we’ve cried over many lost jobs and boys––and through all of life’s ups and downs we have always been there for each other.
The fact that I still get to work with her, that is #Extra.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Wake Up; The Glamorous Life

With my eyes still closed I hit the snooze button on my iPhone and reach for the lamp on the bedside table to the left of me;
I turn the light on and let the bright energy filter through my eyelids.
Knowing that my alarm will go off again in fifteen minutes;
I feel it’s safe to rise like one of those lizards sitting on a rock in the Galapagos Islands that I’ve seen on Planet Earth.
This is the unglamorous part of living life on the road;
Still, I’m so grateful I make a living doing what I love––I just wish what I love started a little later in the day.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Running Late

The stress of waiting for my Lyft driver is off the charts;

Completely undoing the yoga I just did.

The glamorous life on the road! 

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Do What You Can, Now...

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably always focused on what’s next.
As an artist I’m always aware that every job while eventually come to an end––and thus, I’m constantly on the look out for another opportunity.
This year I’m giving myself the permission to sit in the unknown and focus only on the task in front of me; which has been terrifying.
Learning to be present requires absolute trust;
However, if I can master living in the moment––focusing only on what’s in front of me NOW––I imagine I will find peace, grow creatively, and experience more brilliant opportunities on the journey ahead; wherever the path leads.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Blank Page

I have one essay left before my second manuscript is finished.
For the past year I’ve poured 90% of my creative energy into this book;
And with only one chapter left I find myself stuck.
It’s the most challenging story to share––which is why I continued to put it off––but now it’s time to dig deep and get it done.
A collection of nonfiction essays that explore my artistic journey and coming to terms with my identity on my quest for the “perfect” career.
This journey has lead me to discover new depths to my personality, creativity, and ability to communicate as a storyteller and human.
I’m excited to share my work... but first I have to finish it!
With that.. it’s time to face the blank page.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Present Thoughts

The negativity that tries to rule my mind is instantly zapped when I take positive action.
The most useful tool for achieving my goals has been letting go of expectation and accepting the opportunity that exists in front of me.
Sometimes all we have is hope; and that is enough for me to get through today.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Boarding

When boarding an airplane it's important to remember these simple rules:

Never board with your boarding group;

Make sure to have more than 2 carry on's;

Use as many overhead compartments as possible;

Block the aisles,

Talk really loud on your cell phone;

And no matter what, never listen to the flight attendant. 

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Travel Sniffles

What do you get when you fly to a different city every weekend?
A lot of frequent flyer miles... Yes.
The opportunity to connect and immerse yourself in different cultures and traditions... Yes.
Ten pounds heavier from eating too much junk food and not enough gym time...Yes.
But the worst... the constant dripping nose that can only come from spending your life in hotel rooms where people share their nasty germs.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Hotel Bed

Soft in the firm areas;

Firm where I crave softness—you were not my friend last night.

My lack of sleep thanks you for the challenge you set forth for me;

Today I have to be perky and professional, even though you failed at your job:

To send me to Dreamville.

Tonight, I will fall asleep on the couch, and stare at you with dissatisfaction.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Travel Day!

The alarm rings at 5AM;
I don’t want to get out of my warm bed.
I faux excitent and remind myself how much I love my job;
Perhaps not every aspect of it––but this is part of the territory.
When I was twenty, traveling around the world for work seemed glamorous;
Now, it’s just a really long commute.
No one likes sitting in traffic but I sure love that I make a living doing what I love.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Hearing Peace

In the stillness I heard:
Birds chirping, an airplane flying high above, construction on the house next door, a gardener’s leaf blower, and a baby crying.
I went deeper into my meditation; quieted my thoughts and heard peace.  I didn’t know you could actually hear peace––yet in the silence––there it was.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Rest Assured

Four days of nonstop work;
An average of five hours of sleep each night;
A tickle in the back of my throat which suggests my immune system is weak.
I’m prescribing a day of couch cuddling and movie watching.
A system recharge is in order!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Valentine's Day Love

It is upon us;
The day women (and some men) everywhere set themselves up for disappointment.
Expectations of lavish gifts, expensive dinners, and unconditional love.
I never grew up thinking much of this holiday.
Yes, I enjoyed elementary school Valentine’s Day card exchanges and of course the candy, but should you feel loved, appreciated, valued, and spoiled every day?
There is one exception.  My grandma––who passed away three years ago––would always go out of her way to send my sister and me a Valentine’s Day care package from Colorado.
The box would arrive a few days before February 14th and we’d eagerly wait to tear in to the box where we would find stuffed animals, school supplies, and candy.  As we got older the boxes turned into cards with cash inside!
When I returned home from work last night, there was a  package from my sister waiting for me in the mailbox.
Keeping tradition, I opened the package this morning and burst into tears.
My sister found a Valentine’s Day card that my grandma must have missed place at some point during my childhood.  The card was clearly meant for me––it had a picture of a young man dancing––(my gram went out of her way to support my passion for dance) and it said, “For You Grandson.”
Even from heaven my grandma is sending me love.
I realized today how much I miss her and though I think about her every day, it was nice to receive some Valentine’s love from someone so special in my life.
That’s when I realized my single friends aren't crazy––they’re just longing to find someone who cares about them enough to shower them with extra love on a day that we all agree was made up to sell products.
Besides, who doesn’t love overpriced chocolate and flowers once in awhile?

Monday, February 13, 2017

Back To LA

Another creative adventure is finished;
A fast and furious collaboration that will produce another year of artistic growth.
I’m grateful know and work with so many talented creatures;
Now back to LA, where creativity is often overshadowed by fame.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

The Show Must Go On

Three days with only four hours of sleep between the darkness and the light;
Still, the dancers remain focused and energetic.
Their positive energy and creativity will sustain me today.
I am so blessed that I have the opportunity to collaborate with so many talented artists; using my passion to inspire.
I have followed my dreams since I was nine-years-old;
I continue to earn a living doing what I love.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Tech Day

Calltime: 7AM;
Coffee line: 6:30AM
Hours of sleep last night: 4
Hours of time in the theater today: 12
...and people think that dancers have a glamorous life;
Following your passion requires: work, discipline, and a lot of caffeine.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Gabfest

What happens when you stick three outgoing choreographers in a room together with a bottle of wine?
I gabfest of epic proportions takes place.
Last night––after a five hour travel day, two master classes, and three hours of solo rehearsals––I laughed my ass off with two colleagues.
It’s refreshing to be in a room with likeminded, über talented artists who have heart and soul where an ego might be...
Just another reminder to constantly seek and surround yourself with positive creative energy!

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Travel Day

I made it through TSA in under two minutes;

The Burbank airport is a gem!

I stood in line for twenty minutes for coffee,

It's a small price to pay to avoid the drama at LAX.

I love my job, but like most people, I resent my commute; 3,200 miles is a long way to travel to choreograph.

#TheGlamorousLife

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Squeaky Toy

I always know where my little Shih Tzu is at;
The sharp sound of a plastic heart being ripped from yet another stuffed animal betrays her every time.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Breathe and Grow

I’m currently reading three books;
All in the realm of self-discovery and Faith, and each of them is pointing to the same thing: becoming present.
Everywhere I look I see signs reminding me of the same objective.
The universe, God, and my intuition are all in agreement that I need to concentrate on the present.
I’ve spent the past twenty years of my life seeking to work as much as possible;
Do more! Has always been my motto.
I believe we each have a path and my faith tells me that I will be where I need to be, when I’m meant to be there. Yet, I continue to question and challenge if I’m doing enough.
Worse, I see myself getting trapped in the addictive cycle of wanting more––instead of enjoying what I have in the moment.
I set out for surrender this year and I found it very quickly;
Sadly, it scared me.
Today, I realized that I need this calm, peaceful, mindful time to grow.
If I can understand and accept how to find the same gratitude and joy from stillness––imagine how brilliant and balanced my life will be.
I told myself that surrendering would be a challenge and it certainly has been.
The beauty is that I’m learning that I can thrive creatively and accomplish things in the calm, too.
Learning I don’t always have to go, go, go; it’s okay to breathe––and grow, grow, grow.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Another Day of Rain in LA

The sound of rain is becoming a normal occurrence.
In a town full of smoke and mirrors, where movie studio backlots create rain from a water hose attached to a sprinkler, where fortunate for the moisture.
We’ve been in a drought longer than Oprah has been on a diet.
So, I think the rain is a good thing?
But I miss the blue skies and sunshine;
I guess I’ll have to watch a movie for that today, which makes sense, because it will no doubt have been produced on the same backlot that we normal make it rain.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

God Bless America; and Lady Gaga

The Super Bowl is an American tradition;
Where a bunch of sweaty jocks fight for pigskin.
...and they call me gay.
Still, I gather around the screen––mainly because a bunch of sweaty jocks pile on top one another;
But also for the commercials.
And this year the star of the show was Lady Gaga,
Who managed to unite the country through a spectacular performance, subtly planting seeds of education, acceptance, and equality––without coming across like she had an agenda.
God Bless America, and Lady Gaga;
Inspiring through art instead of fear!

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Never Question Creativity...

The how and when are not important.
If the creative energy is focused and invested;
The return will follow.


Dedicated to the present moment;
Manifesting inspiration rather than waiting for it.
Creativity requires nothing more than the discipline to take action.

Harnessed energy seeking the opportunity to share a story;
Whether written, filmed, choreographed, performed, or painted––
The cultivation of art, expression, and emotion will always lead to a new adventure.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Ode to SunChips

A chip by any other name would not carry that same bright, whole grain saltiness.
A delightful memory from middle school, the heart healthy (or so the bag claims) snack that gave me the courage to face fourth period.
Don’t get me wrong, Doritos will always have a special place in my soul;
But SunChips have no artificial flavors or preservatives, so my gut can be happy without the guilty feelings...

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Spa Day

Tired, weak, and bruised.
You thought I was talking about my ego, didn’t you?
My body is in pain––after three weeks of choreography––I remember why I take a break in the fall.
I’m back in action working with dancers across the country, which I love, but my muscles need to be rubbed.
I’m off to the day spa, I know it sounds glamorous––and it is––but I also consider it an “on the job” necessity.
Hot tub, sauna, steam, and massage. Repeat every two weeks.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Human. Surrender.

Learning to forgive myself is a work in progress;
I forgot my blog post yesterday.
After seven years of writing and posting a daily blog, you'd think it would be an established habit.
Once again I'm reminded of two things:
I am human, thus I am not perfect.
And, surrender takes time.
I was "off my game" all day yesterday, and perhaps if I would have allowed myself a moment to breathe, I would have recognized that I did not express myself creativity––via my blog––and I would have come back to the present.
Instead, I'm facing the reaction to the laps, and growing from it.
Releasing the pressure and moving forward.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Respect Speaks Louder...

After spending three hours digesting the passionate and sometimes enraged comments, posts, and opinions from my fellow friends, family, and colleagues across the social media platforms––I’ve decided that no matter which side of the argument people are on, I will respond with compassion.
Especially for those who believe that we need to “make America great again”, perhaps we should start by respecting one another regardless of our differences and begin looking for common ground.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Solid Gold

After nearly two decades of friendship I’m so excited that my friend Tracie and I can still choreograph all day and talk all night.
True, we’re not as young as we used to be––and we don’t drink as much as we used to––but we can still inspire, challenge, and laugh with one another.
My grandma always used to say, “Make new friends, but keep the old. New friends are silver and old are gold.”
Her friendship is more valuable to me than all of the gold in the world.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Snooze

I hear the gentle rippling sound and rage;
I did not get enough sleep last night and I’m in no way ready to start my day.
The button on my iPhone insists on my fingerprint in order to snooze myself back into a slumber.
Ten more minutes is all I need.
I padded my morning with an extra thirty minutes––originally to have time to read and do my creative writing––but today it will serve as a wake-up-call delay.
Today is going to be a four shot Starbucks day!
#TheGlamorousLife on tour...

Friday, January 27, 2017

Travel Day

Early rise.

The dogs are feed.

Grabbed a shower and coffee—black.

Uber is late.

I get to the airport in time to find out my flight is delayed.

Second cup of coffee and a Clif bar!

I'm ready for Omaha!

#TheGlamorousLife

Thursday, January 26, 2017

I Am Awake.

I’ve spent too much of my life trying to plan every moment down to the last detail.
Worried that I might miss an opportunity, I was constantly seeking to do more.
Always aware that I had a problem staying present, and often concerned that I would end up like those people...
The kind who are never happy with where they’re at or what they’ve accomplished.
They experience only fleeting moments of (what they perceive as) joy.
Until one day I woke up and realized I was, one of those people.
That was the instant I decided to surrender.
Now, I constantly seek balance through living in the present.
It’s not always easy––more often it’s difficult––but I’m aware of my patterns and ready to live the life that is waiting for me.
My creativity, passion, and tenacity are fueled by Faith instead of fear.
I am awake.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Repeat As Necessary:

The present is always here—past and future, never.

Balance requires faith.

Don't doubt, do something; take action.

Creative energy is never wasted.

I do not need to accomplish a years worth of work in one month.

Breathe.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Creativity Requires No Outcome

I can't control the outcome,

But I can enjoy the process.

Creativity doesn't demand success, or even an audience—it simply seeks liberation;

An opportunity to evolve from an idea into action.

That is reward enough.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Chaos to Calm

Lost in thought during my morning meditation;
I smiled at The Universe and asked for clarity.
The thoughts dissolved and I heard the rain falling outside,
Beautiful melodies of water droplets hitting tree leaves.
Acknowledging the chaos brings attention back to the calm.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Alarmed

The hotel bed is like a heavenly cloud;
Begging me to prolong my day.
Meanwhile, the snooze alarm is screaming at me:
“You’re going to be late.”
Reality sinks in as I roll myself out of bed and into the hot shower.
I’m going to need two pots of coffee today.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Growth

2017 is all about growth for me.
Creatively, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually speaking, I want to reach beyond the limitations I’ve put upon myself and stir up a new point of view.
It’s time for expectations that no longer serve me to be released; not an easy task for a stubborn, over-achiever––but how can I reach new heights without the proper gear?
I have the opportunity to embrace new ideas about who I am and what I’m capable of.
Anyone who’s every been to the top of a mountain can attest that the view from above offers a completely different story than that of the valley they climbed out of.
I seek perspective from every angle.
I challenge myself to set up camp and appreciate the view during every segment of my journey; reaching the top is magnificent, but once you’ve peaked, you have to climb back down and learn something new.

Friday, January 20, 2017

I Got the Message!

I believe in signs;

Yesterday, I received the message loud and clear.

Following my morning meditation I read this, "On days when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I know the plans I have for you, and they are good.” 

In that instant I felt connected and confident.  I was ready to face the beautiful day that I had planned with Jeff.

An hour later, our plans were redirected; we had to give up our "day of fun" for work.

At once, I was frustrated that I had to give up my plans...

As I was getting ready, it dawned on me, "This is the message that you just read! This is the practical application."

Once I accepted the message from God, The Universe—however you want to label it—I was able to smile and soar through my day.

I had the choice to accept the change and see where the journey leads, or resist and miss out on an opportunity to grow.


Thursday, January 19, 2017

Trust The Path...

“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”
This statement––uttered my countless inspirational mentors and leaders––has been a reoccurring sentiment in my life.
I have dedicated my entire adult (and most of my teenage years) planning, training, preparing, studying, working, fighting––waiting for the opportunity.
I have been blessed with a bountiful amount adventures as a performer, choreographer, teacher, and now author; yet I continue to fall victim to the need to push for more.
Is it the human condition?  I don’t know.
I am certain that I have sufficiently laid the foundation for my future––whatever it may bring––and I could stand to trust, a great deal more.
What good is Faith, if you can’t count on in unconditionally?
What I’ve remembered (again) today: when I focus on the creativity, and nothing else, the opportunity will eventually come... and I will be ready.
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” ––John Lennon

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Note To Self:

Salty pizza and Ranch dip might seem like a good idea in the moment;
But please remember the three days of bloating, heartburn, and weight gain you experience in the aftermath.
#MakeBetterHealthChoices

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Zen Lessons From My Dogs...

I’ve learned a lot from my dogs:
I sleep when I’m tired,
I eat when I’m hungry,
I whine when I'm sad,
I hide when I don't want to be bothered,
I seek friends when I need attention,
I relieve myself when my bladder is full,
I exercise when someone else forces me to, and
I beg whenever I really want something.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Enlightenment Addicted

I’m constantly seeking enlightenment;
Addicted to my evolution spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, and artistically.
Never one to accept where I’m at, as a child I was always questioning, thinking, and worrying about things that I had very little control of––now, I recognize that my obsessive-compulsive behavior and type A personality didn't help my circumstances.
As an adult, I’ve refocused my obsession to find peace in the present moment.
It’s a daily challenge––more often than not––I fall short, but I haven’t stopped seeking enlightenment.
On good days, I find the simple release and acceptance of “what is” remarkably effortless;
But the “bad” days are tough.
I’ve had a taste of enlightenment, and now I want to overdose on it.
Unfortunately, the prescription is hard to fill––it requires me to let go of the bullshit and stay present.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Dream, Reach, Accept What Comes

My childhood dreams are manifesting into realities.
Slightly different than I had imagined way back when;
Perhaps a more attainable version of themselves.
Forever grateful that my evolved point of view allowed for a modification from the plan––in order to appreciate the opportunities as they were presented.
Otherwise, I may have given up a long time ago.
Nothing can be as wild as we dream in our minds––but if we allow it––the outcome can be a brilliant realization of something that felt, at times, unattainable.
So, I will continue dreaming, because who know? I might make it to my version of the moon, yet.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

The Moment I Let Go Of It.

In my quest for balance, inner peace, and surrender I continue reminding myself that I just need to let go of “it.”
All of the self-discovery books affirm––in their own way––that release is the key to achieving a more evolved me.
But I think Alanis Morissette said it best,
“The moment I let go of it,
Was the moment I got more than I could handle.”
I have to face the facts, I’m a product of the 90′s.

Friday, January 13, 2017

A Dogs Life...

If I were a puppy, I’d sleep all day, too.
Cuddled up on the sofa while dreaming of burying bones and squeaking toys all day long.
It would be delightful to have someone feed me when I was hungry, bathe me when I needed cleaned, and walk me when I needed to go to the bathroom.
My dogs have the life.
Of course if I were a dog, I’d probably be the unfortunate one;
like the puppies who end up in the commercials with the Sarah McLachlan commercials.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Rain Clears The Air

Through the darkness and rain;
I found light and presence.
It’s easy to live in the shadow of negativity,
giving into the fear that the sun might night shine again.
Then, and without warning, a sliver of gold peeks out.
Suddenly the sky is blue and the air is clear––all thanks to the rain.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Remember:

You don’t need to have answers to “what ifs”;
In the present there’s only, what is.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Details, Details.

Faith does not challenge the details, “When, where, why, how?”
When I walk in the light––fear, doubt, and negativity are lost in the shadows;
All that remains is a bright path.
In that radiance, the specifics become clear and the present is all that matters.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Okay, I Get It! Surrender...

My primary focus in life has been to evolve as a person and artist; every single day.
Seeking to learn more, serve more, and experience new opportunities and adventures that will elevate my purpose on earth.
Over time, I have discovered practical ways to stay present and achieve balance.
Last year was a time of abundant growth creativity and personally.
Hoping to continue to the momentum, I added another layer to my daily practice of seeking light, releasing negativity, and taking action; I decided to incorporate the action of “surrender.”
To my surprise, the first week of this year was extraordinarily more complicated.
In adding surrender, I somehow lost sight of the fact that I could still, seek light, take action, and be present.
Today, I woke up ready to refocus and remove the “new addition”, and go back to what worked in 2016.
As I turned to my morning reading––currently “The Power Of Now”––I opened my bookmark, and the chapter I turned to was: The Meaning Of Surrender.
Wow; okay, I get it.
God, The Universe, my instinct all said, “You need to learn how to surrender the correct way.”
I reread the chapter and remembered that Action and Surrender can coexist.
In fact, they are both necessary for growth.
Surrender does not mean that I should stop trying and accept that where I’m at is as good as it gets; it simply means trusting that through acceptance of what is, I can further work to seek positive action toward what I want.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Things That No One Tells You In Your Twenties.

With age comes wisdom, perspective, security, confidence, and hair in unwanted places.
Seriously, as I grow––so does my hair; everywhere.
#ImNotAgingImLiving

Saturday, January 7, 2017

The Weather Wants a Job, Too?

The rain tap dances on my bedroom window;
Even the weather in LA wants a job in show business––at least the rhythms are interesting; unlike half of the “talent” in this town.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Acceptance

The struggle to accept what is, while constantly trying to evolve what is––not.
When you’ve arrived at your destination with all of your bags fully prepared and it still isn’t enough;
There is a calm beauty in surrendering.
That is enlightenment.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

No No Negativity

Despite my best efforts to remain present yesterday, I allowed a circumstance to keep me in a negative mood––further adding  to my anger, I started to compare my situation to how I might have handled the moment last year––this lead me down an even darker spiral.
I followed the tools I’ve implemented and received small doses of inner peace; breath by breath; by the end of the day I was once again aligned with the present.
This morning I woke up with a mild hangover of emotions––not wanting a repeat of yesterday––I quickly turned to my morning check in (which involves reading a personal growth book and journaling), I turned to the chapter that I was reading in “The Power of Now” and the heading read:
Using and Relinquishing Negativity.
If that isn’t an incredible message from God and The Universe.
I laughed out loud––literally, not like an LOL response to something we don’t find funny on social media but feel the need to support our friends anyway; I read the chapter and once again received the message.
Negativity equals resistance.
My ego needed a boost and I caved to my inner manipulation.
But not today!
Nothing good comes from darkness; it is in the light that we shine.
No. NO. Negativity.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

I Saw The Sign...

I start each and every day with a morning ritual:
I pour a giant cup of coffee,
I sit down with whichever personal growth, spiritual, or  inspirational book that I’m reading at the time, and I allow myself the opportunity to learn––in the hopes of seeking insight and enlightenment.
Afterwards, I spend several minutes journaling––to review what I’ve read and release my emotions and thoughts.
Knowing that my primary theme for 2017 is, surrender––I thought these passages were a clear sign that I chose the ideal path for this year:
“All that arises passes away. This I know” ––Buddhist Monk

“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness.  ...things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for happiness now come with no struggle or effort on your part...” ––Eckhart Tolle

“’I trust in you Jesus.’ In response to whatever happens to you.” ––Psalm 63:2

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Seasons

There is a time to plant the seed;
There is a time to water and nurture the seedling;
There is a time to sit back and watch the stalks grow tall;
There is a time to harvest the crop;
Everything has a season––I’m finally grasping the importance of step three; I plant and plant and plant and plan––yet I fail to watch my work grow.
It’s okay––it’s necessary––to step back, breathe, and appreciate the work.
It used to feel like I wasn’t accomplishing enough in those moments, that I should be doing more, but I understand how valuable rest is now.
From every valley and new mountain appears––I must give myself a fighting chance to make the climb.

Monday, January 2, 2017

And We're Off...

Back to the creative process, but with a new outlook;
Letting go of the need to do it all.
Last year, I adopted the mindset to trust in the now––which worked very well for me.
This year, I will take it a step further, allowing room for surrender, too.
My brain is wired to over-achieve, and when I don’t receive the outcome I expect, I often push too hard.
So as I set out for new journeys this year, I’m going to fight like hell to suspend my relentless nature.
Tanacity is a valuable asset as an artist, but it can often come across as desperation, too.
I’ll continue to ask for what I want, but (I think) I’m more willing to hear “no” and move on!
Only time will tell.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

New Year, Same You––Evolved.

I’m giving up.
Not on life, or my creative path, or my family, or anything wild like that;
I’m using this year to surrender.
Letting go of the need to do––well, anything.
I know what you’re thinking, “You say you’re giving up, yet you sit in front of your computer typing away on a blog post.”
Okay, to be fair––it’s true––I have a hard time with inactivity.
But that’s not why I keep a blog.
This daily experiment started in 2010, after the passing of my grandfather.
I set a goal to write every day for a year––and in doing so––I discovered that my outlook on life changed for the better.
My ability to write about almost anything evolved, too, (which is good if you’re trying to be a writer and “find your voice”) and here I sit 7 years later, a published author.
I have no idea what’s around the corner for me in 2017, and I’m completely comfortable with that.
I learned how to be present last year––truly present in every moment––which lead to soaring victories for me personally and professionally; and the strangest thing is that the more that I let go and accepted the path that was in front of me, the more brilliant the opportunities that followed.
So here I am looking a fresh new year directly in the eyes, and I see hope, joy, creativity, and even more growth as a person and artist.
A very wise man (my husband) said that he wanted to greet the first day of the new year with the same tone and intentions that he plans on proceeding with for the rest of the year, and that’s precisely what we did.
I had no agenda today; I spent my time with loved ones, doing what we love––without expectation.
I’m ready for you 2017, and I promise to do my best to be present in every moment, live fully, take action––and yes––surrender when that is the clear choice.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Goodbye 2016.

And so it is upon us––another year draws to an end; and what a year it’s been.
The blessings, growth, and adventures have been abundant.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I look back on the opportunities and evolution that I have experienced in the past 364 days.
My life is a constant work in progress––I’ve never been shy about admitting that––and still somehow I manage to flourish in the midst of finding myself.
What were once flashes of light in my otherwise dark outlook––have manifested into a literal moving frame of pictures from day to day.
More than ever before, I was able to stay present, accept each moment for what it brought, and breathe through even the most challenging setbacks.
As a writer, I finished my second manuscript.  I learned more about myself through the process of sharing stories from my past, with the awareness of my present.
As an actor, I worked on two television shows––and remembered how magnificent it is to perform; I’m nowhere near the end of this journey.
As a choreographer, I had the opportunity to set my first full-length concert dance piece; watching my story come to life through the dancers eyes was magical.
As a person, I re-discovered that a positive attitude and the fearless pursuit of my passion will always lead me to an opportunity.
I have no clue what’s next for me––but I know that wherever I am, I will do my very best to stay present, seek light, and savor the journey.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Rain Delay in LA

When it rains in LA––which is very rare, but surprisingly more common this year––I make the most of it;
I give myself permission to blow off work, and curl up with my puppies next to the fireplace.  I dive into a great book until my eyes start to blur and then I relocate to the sofa and channel surf until I find the perfect movie to fall asleep to.
Today is the perfect way to ease myself into 2017 and my new resolution: surrender.
I’ve spent the larger part of my life overachieving, hustling, fighting, and engulfed with busy work––I’m really looking forward to a new approach.
The rain delay is here to stay, at least for a season.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Enlightened Thought

While meditating in yoga class yesterday, it occurred to me that people spend a lot of energy and money on “aging gracefully”––in a moment of clarity I realized that the focus should be on “living gracefully.”
That simple, yet powerful switch in my focus allows me the space to evolve into the most enlightened person I can be, as long as I walk (or wheel) the earth.
“I’m not aging––I’m living.”

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

I'm Home!

It's fun to visit the snow––the Christmas spirt feels crisp and alive;
bundling up to go sledding or sipping hot coco by the fire...
But the swaying palm trees backlit by the gorgeous California rays reminds me that I'm an LA baby, all the way!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Colorado Christmas Day 6


Driving through the small towns between Colorado and California, I've realized...

The smaller the town, the worse the drivers.

#RoadTrip

Monday, December 26, 2016

Colorado Christmas Day 5

We had a Christmas slumber party last night at my moms house;
My sister and I under one roof––along with my niece, three dogs, my husband, mom, and step-dad––it was a circus for sure.
It was also a wonderful reminder of how special the holidays are.
We played board games, watched movies, but my favorite was a round of karaoke; my niece loves to sing!
Today, we’re going sledding at San Isabel.
Tubing down snow hills, we’ll surely freeze our butts;
But what Colorado Christmas would be complete without snow and hot coco?
...and my niece screaming in my ear as we fly downhill!

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Colorado Christmas Day 4

Merry Christmas!
I feel blessed to be with my family this year;
Faith, food, laughter, and cheer.
We opened packages this morning––as people do on Christmas––but the best gift I received this year was the present; truly learning how to live in the now.
Learning how to enjoy or accept each and every moment, regardless of the circumstance, has enabled me to appreciate my life on a deeper level.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Colorado Christmas Day 3

It’s the day before Christmas and all through the house...
Candy, cookies, and Hallmark movies are abundant.
The cooking is finished,
The presents are wrapped,
And I’m just waking up from a long winters nap.
My family will gather tomorrow with cheer;
And after the festivities we’ll all run with fear––of cleaning the dishes!

Friday, December 23, 2016

Colorado Christmas Day 2

Family gathered in the kitchen;
Laughter, love, and a lot of dough.
We made delicious Italian cookies called pizzales.
Nothing says, “Merry Christmas” better than a dozen of these sweet, light, crisp cookies.
They remind me of my childhood, my grandma, and my gut––because I always eat too many!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Colorado Christmas Day 1

Upon arrival last night, we were greeted by the entire family with an Italian dinner.
Their warmth was a nice contrast to the cold winter night.
The puppies woke up early this morning to go play in the snow;
They leap through the air like Santa’s reindeer.
Today we’re baking traditional Italian Christmas cookies;
Just looking at the ingredients I’m gaining weight!
It’s good to be with family during this time of year.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Road Trip

Double-trailer semi trucks blowing in the wind;

Stay in the slow lane please.

That car that won't let you pass, and won't drive the speed limit either?

How many times can we listen to Mariah Carey's Christmas album? Indefinitely.  

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Surrender

The holiday season ushers in the end of the year;
A time of gratitude, reflection, resolution, and faith.
I always start each year off with a theme or word to visualize and meditate on.
As I gather my thoughts for 2017 the word “surrender” continues to present itself; in conversation, while I’m reading, and during yoga.
Why is it so much easier to absorb ideas while lying in shavasana?
When the mind is still and the heart is content––when all that remains is breath,
I find my surrender.
Now, if only I could figure out how to incorporate the energy into my daily life––without obsessing over checklists, resolutions, and overachieving.
I need to surrender to my OCD, and just be.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Friendship; LA

At a trendy restaurant in West Hollywood,
Four former neighbors––a la Melrose Place––gathered to celebrate the Christmas spirit and share our resolutions for the new year.
While enjoying tantalizing food, festive (and fabulous) cocktails, and enough laughter to avoid sit-ups for at least two days, it was evident that we share a formidable bond.
Our relationship has endured more than a decade in Los Angeles––and through all of the transitions, job promotions, setbacks, and scene changes––we continue to seek creative and personal growth together.  As true friends tend to do.
These bonds are rare in LA, more precious than Oscar gold; and I’m not letting go!

Sunday, December 18, 2016

How Much Is That Shih Tzu in the Mirror?

I’m staring at my dog as she watches herself in the mirror;
She’s trying to decide if she should attack her reflection––or play chase.
We make eye contact and she tilts her head sideways;
My heart melts and she gets bashful.
I can't comprehend people who don’t understand dogs––they are such honest, loyal creatures.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Christmas Weight

The holiday weight is over...
Christmas is just around the corner and if I keep overeating at every holiday party––I’m going to be large enough to replace Santa Claus.
Tis the season to be merry; and uncomfortable in clothing that doesn’t have an elastic draw string.
So, unless I’m ready to start buying my clothes at Walmart––I need to trim the holiday cheer.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Fireside Inspiration

Curled up cozy by my fireplace;
The warmth of the flames inspire happy childhood memories.
Raindrops tap lightly on the window;
The soothing rhythm provides background orchestration;
Perfect for writing.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

No WhINing...

When you enjoy one too many glasses of wine;
You best expect to wake up and feel puffy, stuffy, and old...
You did it to yourself––so stop your whining and drink a lot of water!

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Dinner Party

Dusting,
Vacuuming,
Prepping food,
Creating the perfect playlist,
Seating arrangment––it’s important to consider who’s NOT talking to who.
Lighting candles,
Stocking the bar,
Friends arrive:
Small talk, greetings, meeting new friends;
Drinks are served––now the fun begins.
Laughter, gossip, food, and more booze;
Tis the season to be jolly.
...tonight marks dinner party number FIVE... four more to go!

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Listen

When people talk, they want to be heard.
Opinions, ideas, and reactions––even when the come from the right place––often confuse the conversation.
Sometimes a friend just need you to say, “I understand; I’m here for you.”
Silence speaks volumes.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Home; Back to Work

One puppy sits near my feet,
The other one rests by my thigh;
I pound at my computer:
Checking emails, connecting socially––and occasionally I get some creative writing done, too.
It’s good to be on the road working;
But it’s great to be at home with my family.
Business as usual this morning.
It’s important to honor the little things in life;
Every detail further enhances the moment.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Blessed

I make a living out of a childhood passion;

Creating art and paying the bills.

Life is good. 

Even if I have to travel across the country for a day...

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Dance Life; Christmas Time

40 dancers,
12 hours,
24 pieces of choreograph,
1 sandwich
4 Starbucks Lattes
And partridge in a pear tree. 

Friday, December 9, 2016

Fear

It grabs you when you least expect it;
Releasing the emotional reaction to a situation helps alleviate the fear.
The unknown can be overwhelming;
Light will always conquer darkness––it just takes faith.
Past and future can only hurt you if you allow the feelings to stop you from living in the present.
Be here NOW.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Pounding

My head is pounding;
Still angry from last night.
Nothing but lies and dodging questions;
I will not exert anymore energy on this matter.
Sometimes you just have to walk away.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Contact; Pay It Forward

There is always time to share love;
A phone call, email––even a text message just to say, “Hello.  I’m thinking about you.”
We’re so consumed with acquiring money, fame, accolades, and material objects––but what we need is friendship, a shoulder to cry on, validation of our feelings, fears, and desires.
Contact; with a human, not a machine.
Warmth from another feeling being.
Take time to share your energy with someone today; it may change their entire outlook.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Secret Ingredient

My best work is done after three cups of coffee;
Starbucks is like Wheaties to me,
In fact, I think the dedication page in my next book will read like this:
Starbucks your loyalty (reward program) has kept me addicted since 1994;
Thank you.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Do It Yourself...

If you want something done;
Delegated the duties to your colleagues,
Discuss the findings in a conference meeting,
Accept that not everyone has the ability to meet deadlines,
In the last hour––realize that you have to do all the work yourself,
Complete a months worth of research and work in one hour and then move on to the next “fire”.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Holiday Balance

Sometimes balance means letting go of harsh expectations;
The holiday season always weighs me down––I gain a solid ten pounds.
The scales are tipped with delicious cheeses and spirits galore;
Come January, I’ll be lucky if I can squeeze through my front door.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

December Cheer

The year is near an end.
Goals have been accomplished––or not.
It’s time to reflect and give thanks for the many adventures in 2016;
And to release the setbacks, disappointments, and overzealous demands.
The year was complete––exactly as it was supposed to be.
Now relax, give thanks––eat, drink, and be merry!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Done Deed

Silly that a piece of paper can be the difference between having a voice, and being permitted to use it.

Inevitably, change occurs when the circumstance demands a new direction;

Today, we sealed the deal on a new path—watch out to anyone who stands in our way!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Vindication

The moment you see your opponent crack and buckle;
Admitting their slanderous lies and accepting the defeat.
The truth is ALWAYS worth fighting for.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Fear Not!

The moment I exhale the negativity;
I’m reconnected with the Universe.
I once again remember that my path has already been cleared;
I just have to follow it and trust that God will provide me with the tools I need along the way.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Early Holiday

Despite my best attempt to stay motivated;
I’ve surrendered to my fate.
Ironically, I’ve spent the past two weeks meditating and deliberating on my mantra for 2017; the word I chose, surrender.
I spent last year developing the tools to stay present––regardless of circumstance––and I’m delighted that I found that peace almost every day.
It occurred to me that through the same presence of mind, I could release my need to overachieve, too.
It’s an ongoing struggle; but it appears I’m giving myself the rest of the year to begin implementation.
Cheers to surrender.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Stand For Something

My grandma always used to say, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.”
That adage has continued to inspire me throughout my life;
Especially when my character has been called into question by people who will say and do anything to prove a point or “win” an argument.
It would be much easier for me to concede in order to avoid an unpleasant circumstance––at the same time, I would be enabling inappropriate behavior.
If I can be a champion––whether for myself or a disenfranchised group of people––I will always rise to the occasion.
What better way to use my education and opinion?

Friday, November 25, 2016

Stand Up To A Bully

Make sure to smile when you stand up for yourself;
It reminds the would-be bully that you are human.
The louder they get––the more your tactics are working.
Don’t be alarmed by empty threats;
Keep Faith and an open, loving heart.
And if all else fails; fight fire with fire.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Giving Thanks

Fifteen years ago today;
I cuddled up next to a fellow artist, theater nerd, dreamer, performer and I knew that I would spend the rest of my life with him, working towards our goals together.
I give thanks for him and all of my family and friends who continue to support and inspire me.
Following dreams requires Faith, family, and friends.
It also demands tenacity and a sense of humor.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude;
I continue to learn, evolve, and dream.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Rest.

I'm tired;
I did absolutely nothing today.
I crashed on my couch with my family and watched Christmas movies––all day long.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow, but I started my practice early.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Any Press Is Good Press!

My book, So You Want To Be A Dancer, was mentioned by Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon last night;
It was part of a segment that Jimmy rants about book titles that might not be a selling point.
The irony, is that my book is getting four times more attention thanks to his joke.
How did he (or his team) find out about my book?  Is it fate or just dumb luck?
Who cares–––I’ve been a fan of Fallon since he was on SNL.
When he started on The Tonight Show, I knew his voice and playful humor was going to resonate with a new crowd.
Now, my book––and potentially me (if he takes me up on my offer to teach him some fresh new dance moves) are a part of television history!
Despite being the butt of a joke on late night, my credibility as an author just skyrocketed.
Just ask our president elect...”any press is good press.”
P.S. Buy, So You Want To Be A Dancer here!

Monday, November 21, 2016

Not Just Books

Knowledge is a wonderful tool;
Inspiration, motivation, and brilliant ideas.
Putting that wisdom to work requires more.
Reading and researching is the beginning;
Action, is the application.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Need?

When I let go of needs,
I have so much more room to breathe;
Suddenly the space to be creative, adventurous, and in the moment––is everywhere.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Saturday Bingefest

Reality TV,

Bagels and coffee,

Cuddling puppies on the couch,

Yoga—then;

more TV!

Friday, November 18, 2016

Note To Self: Writing.

Staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor;
It’s either a wild adventure,
or
A dreadfully paralyzing creativity killer.
Focus on the story, not the screen.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Movie and a Meal

Afternoon dates are fun;
The theater is empty and the restaurant, too.
You can stretch out your legs, and eat as much as you want; guilt free.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Spa Day

Steam room,
Sauna,
Shower,
Salt scrub,
Deep tissue,
Steam room,
Sauna,
Hot tub,
Facial,
Pure relaxation detox;
After deep meditation and thoughtful consideration I’ve arrived at a fresh new outlook:
It’s time to surrender.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Surrender

At the end of a challenging work day––I encouraged myself to go to a yoga class last night;
The class was strenuous and pushed me past my breaking point.
I felt like giving up and walking out––but a voice inside continued to drive me through the pain, anguish, and physical weakness.
At the end of class––while lying in shavasana––I had a breakthrough.
As I melted into the floor, the word surrender entered my conscious;
I began crying uncontrollably.
I started to release the anger, fear, doubt, and frustration––and surrendered to the fact that the circumstances I was struggling with were out of my control.
Suddenly I was overcome with joy.
My tears of disappointed transitioned into tears of gratitude; enlightenment.
I’m finished with fighting;
I always thought I had to push myself past, through, on top of, etc.
The truth is: I just have to release.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Relentless.

Some people get what they want because they’re charmed;
The rest of us have to push, fight, climb, fall, beg, climb (again), push harder, negotiate, barter, beg (some more), crawl, sneak in the back door, drop to our knees, fight (tougher), shove, alienate, compromise, fall, claw, beg (with total desperation), threaten, bully, bark, beg, beg, beg, fight, fight, fight, climb, climb, climb––and finally we get to sit in front of a receptionist and wait...
Then the entire process starts again.
Passionately and relentlessly focused.
Never. Give. Up.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Friendly Reminder...

When you go looking for despair;
You’ll find it.
When you seek light;
It will be there, too.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

You Are Here; Again.

The past and future are a distraction from the reality that is in front of me.
The moment is here now;
The past lives in shadows, and cannot be changed.
The future lives in projections, which cannot be controlled.
I can be present––or nothing.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Welcome Back, to Life.

Nothing like the sound of leaf blowers and dump trucks to remind you that you’re no longer on vacation.
Back in Los Angeles and back to the grind––of my teeth from all of the noise I’ve returned to.
Vacation can be a distraction from life, but the truth is, I’m happy to be home.
Creativity calls––and so does the yoga studio; time to work off the five pounds (okay ten...) I gained in Hawaii.
Life is back in session.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Hawaii Day 8

The time has come to sail away;
The sand, sun, and sea have been a gentle, loving, supportive reminder that balance is necessary for creativity; and my health.
I’ll be back in time, but for now, I’m going to savor the last four hours before I fly back to reality.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Hawaii Day 7

Not even Hawaiian paradise can assuage my feelings of disappointment––and if I’m being entirely honest––fear.
The people of America have confirmed that they would rather have an openly hateful, misogynistic, uninformed, wealthy white man––with no experience whatsoever––lead the free world;
Than a powerful, confident, intelligent––openly accepting––woman.
Now, more than ever, our country needs free-thinkers.  Artists, writers, activists, leaders––who will stand up for the people who may not have a voice in the very near future.
Yesterday, a majority in our country decided that the old way is better...
I pray that my freedom and equality will endure.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Hawaii Day 6

Seriously, I cannot get to the beach fast enough;
I woke up early to work––on vacation?!
Yes, even on a holiday, I have to answer emails.
Fortunately, in paradise, zen is only a breath away.
Now that my checklist is complete,
I’m going to enjoy the heat at the beach!
Aloha!

Monday, November 7, 2016

Hawaii Day 5

Even when the birds argue at 5AM, it sounds beautiful;
It’s hard to be upset in Hawaii.
The ocean waves act as an emotional eraser––gently absorbing unpleasant thoughts and washing them out to sea.
Conflict melts away in the warm salty air;
All that is left is Faith in paradise.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Hawaii Day 4

In the morning I add rum to my coffee and enjoy meditation by the beach,
In the afternoon I add rum to my iced tea and enjoy reading my the pool,
In the evening I add rum to my Lava Flow and enjoy gazing at the stars.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Hawaii Day 3

Just as the sun rises over the volcanic rock behind me,
My mind awakes and begins to stir;
Just as the ocean rolls in towards the sand,
My heart beats and I feel alive;
Just as the birds call to each other,
My soul sings out with gratitude.
In this moment, I am present and at peace.

Friday, November 4, 2016

Hawaii Day 2

Before the sun rises, I’m up and writing in my journal;
It’s hard not to be inspired in paradise.
Layered melodies from various birds call outside my window,
The perfect soundtrack to write.
Creativity flows as easy as multiple Piña Coladas––happily tipsy, I type.
The sun lifts over the horizon revealing a shimmering crystal blue sea.
Try to be upset in Hawaii––if you are, you’re doing life wrong.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Hawaii Day 1

I can smell the plumerias from LAX;
I'll be calm when we land, I just know it!
Breathe in the warm, soothing sea.
The aloha spirt welcomes me.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Creativity; Trust in the Process

Setbacks are a natural part of the creative process;
As artists, we often feel unworthy when something doesn’t go our way.
“They must not like my work.” “I must be doing something wrong.”
When in fact, “they” are probably so deep in their own process.
Creative collaborations can be an uncomfortable idea for many,
Likewise, helping another artistic person can feel like a sacrifice.
But rest assured, when the Universe realizes a magnificent opportunity;
The stars will align.
So, it is our duty to continue cultivating and refining our work with a sense of playful, stress free joy––and when the time is right––the work will take flight.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Observation

Watching 80s movies on Netflix;

I'm remind of what color teeth used to be, prior to bleaching trays. 

Monday, October 31, 2016

That Feeling...

When you wake up and sit down to coffee, eggs, and your face on the inside cover page of a magazine;
Of course “it’s not about the fame or money”, but it’s a completely validating feeling to see yourself in print!
I’ve invested more than twenty years pursuing a creative career––and these little highlights act as motivation to continue to training, auditioning, and evolving as a person and artist.
All in stride though––in three days this town will forget about the article, and demand that I answer, “what’s next?”
But for today, I’ll enjoy the spotlight!

Sunday, October 30, 2016

It's Time...

I want to eat another breakfast burrito;
But the waistline on my jeans is begging me not to.
It’s time to reel it in.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Good Morning

It’s still dark outside;
A sliver of light cracks over the San Gabriel Mountains,
The birds chirping outside my window serve as a beautiful, calm wake-up call.
My puppies are still cozy in bed as I make my way to the office to write.
The smell of dew covered grass wafts into the house,
My serene Saturday has begun.

Friday, October 28, 2016

FALLing Rain

Pouring rain crashes to the ground,
A happy reminder that fall has arrived in Los Angeles;
Before long unnecessary fires will be lit,
And hipsters will be wearing tailored layers and scarves.
I’m okay with that––in fact, I’ll join in the fun.
The temperature might not drop below fifty degrees;
But in LA, it’s always important to dress the part!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Lick Your Wounds

I took my dog to the groomer yesterday,
They nicked her left paw and neglected to inform me;
I discovered it this morning, thanks to the trail of blood on my beautiful 800 thread count sheets.
She licks her wound,
While I scrub the blood from the Egyptian cotton.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Puppies, Come Out of the Closet!

Both of my puppies are curled up on my lap;
Neither one suspects what’s about to come.
They hear me fetch their leashes from the doggy drawer––
Nope, it’s not a walk Lily...
It’s time to get your hair cut!
Ginger, the Yorkie, knows what’s up.
She just took off to hide in the closet––
Trust me Ginger, I spent time in the closet, too;
You’ll feel better when you come out! ...You’ll look better, too!

Monday, October 24, 2016

Star–Studded Night.

Rubbing elbows with celebrities,
Is a lot like rubbing elbows with non-celebrities;
You're in an overcrowded venue trying to look your best, smile, and at "cool" while you push your way to the front of the bar...
Except you can't ignore the fact that you just nudged Steve Buscemi back into place.
Welcome to Hollywood.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Cats

I listend to the Broadway soundtrack of Cats last night;
Saturday night, belting show tunes by myself,
It was like me in high school––only with wine, a better voice, and more theater credits––so I’m legit.
It wasn’t until I attempted the dance break during Magical Mr. Mistoffelees that I realized:
I’m not in high school anymore... And maybe I should do fouetté turns while drinking.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Fact

If I worked as hard in any other profession, as I have on my creative endeavors, I'd be a millionaire ten times over. 

Friday, October 21, 2016

Letting Go of Yesterday

Moody and insecure,
I spent the day waiting for an answer from The Universe;
When I couldn’t hear Gods voice––I allowed the devil in my head to take control.
The creative process can be dark,
Add the complications and demands of life, and the heavy shadow is cast.
Thankfully, the voice in my head is no match for the spark in my soul––the flicker that woke me up today and said: Create! (And stop judging your work.  That’s the critics job.)

Thursday, October 20, 2016

New Flash

If you spend more than three hours a day watching election coverage,
You might have a problem;
When you wake up from a nightmare screaming at Sean Hannity;
You seriously need to get help;
If the first thing you do after you wake up is turn on CNN;
Get help!

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Find The Silver

A rolling cloud of darkness,

Invades the sky of my mind;

Cracks of silver remind me that past the violent shadows, there is light.



Tuesday, October 18, 2016

On Creativity


When you wait for someone to give you permission;
You’ve already missed the opportunity to take a chance.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Rain Day

The rain falls causing a familiar smell from my youth;
Being trapped in a classroom––playing Seven Up––because teachers didn’t want to be outside monitoring the wet, muddy, playground.
Heads down, thumbs up; it was fun for a moment, but the gravity would sink in...
No fresh air today––math class, reading, and an indoor game at your desk?
It’s like telling a child they get to skip school, and then informing them it’s because they have to go to the dentist.
As and adult I LOVE a rain day.
The perfect excuse to stay in my pajamas, curled up on the couch with a book; puppies on either side––sipping hot chocolate.
It’s good to be an adult.
Except for that “work” idea... that part is less fun.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Creative Coercion

Listening to music from my childhood,

Forced inspiration for writing;

Mission accomplished.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

CNNooooooo

I’m fascinated by the Republican surrogates––especially the (mostly) blonde women who cheer and champion for a man who continues to attack the opposite sex.
Worse than a train wreck; I can’t turn off the television.
A man so narcissistic, he can simultaneously bash an accuser––based on their appearance––while declaring, “Nobody respects women more than I do.”
I can’t wait for this election to end;
In the meantime, I’m addicted to CNN.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Yoga Sculpt

I can get in touch with my Zen;
While toning my gut,
Now that’s enLIGHTENment.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Morning Ritual

Steam whistling through the tiny holes in a stainless steal tea pot;
The smell of bacon wafts past my nose.
I finish the last sentence in my journal,
Share my daily social media post––and adorable picture of my niece dancing;
And I stare at my computer screen.
Time to pour my emotion onto a blank page,
I’m going to need more bacon.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Afterthought...

Guilty,
The day got away––as they tend to do when your brain is overloaded.
Here I sit making excuses;
Forgive my lack of creativity.
...We can't be perfect every day.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Aftermath; Debate

Ego leads his every action––and reaction;
Interjecting and accusing like only a narcissist can.
The louder he gets, the bigger he lies,
Pacing the stage like a child who's lost a little league game;
Shoulders slumped, sniffling, and complaining,
It’s not fair!
His face, usually orange––now bright red with a tint of tangerine.
He is unabashed when he declares to the world that he is a good guy.
We’ve heard him say:
Racists, sexist, unimaginable things.
Remember, your actions speak louder than words.
The most frightening of all,
There are plenty of men––and unfathomable to believe, women, too––who agree with this man.
They are the America of yesterday; thank God.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Sunday

Starbucks,
Church,
Yoga,
Couch.
TV
Sleep
Cuddling my puppies.
I love Sundays.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Caffeine Drip

Drip, drip, drip.
I wait patiently for the dark bold liquid gold.
Impossible for me to brew ideas without caffeine;
Finally the machine rages with steam,
I rush to fill my cup.
If only there was a way to get the caffeine into my veins faster;
Definitely addicted behavior.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Rise and Shine

Not even the leaf blower, trash trucks, or construction on the house next door could stir me out of bed today.
The snooze button on my alarm is mad at me;
I continue to pound my hand down!
I’m up. I’m up;
I just need five more minutes.
I’m motivated to be creative today––I just have to convince my body to get out of bed.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Cinnamon Rolls Around my Waist

Gooey pockets of crystalized sugar and cinnamon;
The buttery vanilla icing drips into the sweet layered dough.
If I had any willpower at all, I would resist the spherical treat,
And avoid the rolls––around my waste.
Instead, I dive in for a second bite.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Disneyland

The best way to find the kid inside;
Is to act like a kid.
How can anyone fight the adventure that awaits at Disneyland.
There’s a reason they call it the Magic Kingdom;
All of the work that I think I need to do,
Will be waiting for me tomorrow.
Today––I’m going to play!

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Energy vs. Earning

I spent twenty-five minutes on hold;
Waiting for AT&T to refund a ten dollar credit.
I have to ask myself, “Is the money worth the energy?”
Answer: The money is always worth the effort.
Like my grandma always said, “A penny saved, is a penny earned.”
As long as I have the time––I will fight for every dime that’s mine.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Write Now.

The longer I stare at my blank screen;
The more determined I am to create.
The desire to manifest something from nothing has continued to motivate me as a person and artist.
Now, if only I could convince my hands that I have a story to tell.

Sunday, October 2, 2016