Friday Night Out at 40

Plenty of seats at the bar;

Can you please turn the music down?

I’d like the top shelf tequila—yes, I’m okay that it’s not on Happy Hour…

Do you have anything that’s not fried?

Oh, and can you please turn the music down?

“Hey, are you guys ready to get out of here? It’s starting to get crowded.” (Its 7:15 p.m.)

Option:

Fall victim to the demands of my day; allowing stress and obligations to send me into a panic where fear will inevitably lead to anger, frustration, and a total shutdown of my creative, mental, and physical well-being . . .
OR
Take a deep breath; return to the present moment so that I can find perspective; release the “big picture problems” and focus on what’s in front of me; and smile.
The choice is so obvious when you step back and return to the NOW.

Beat

Staring at a computer screen full of tiny black words, which are meant to be sentences.

Presently, all I see is shit.

I pace back and forth in my living room—I could go to Starbucks but I’m already experiencing a caffeine overload.

I pick up my phone; NO social media.

I convince myself to get through one more page, and then—I take a beat.

An action film with Tom Cruise might be just the creative inspiration I need…

Drunk on Chocolate

Dark, sweet, and delicious;

Not a moment of guilt.

OWM: The Problem

Listening to old, (allegedly) educated white men converse at Starbucks, reminds me that (even in LA) ignorance and insecurity is prevalent.

Also, entertainment professionals are often accused of being narcissistic and self-indulgent; but I assure these retired white men have more vanity and ego than any mega-star I’ve ever met.

Venice Beach

No public bathrooms;

No wonder the streets smell like piss.

Neglected

I spent most of yesterday cleaning, likewise, today will be full of scrubbing, dusting, washing, folding, and repairing.
When you spend half the year out of town, your home becomes neglected.
It’s the perfect metaphor for my soul, too.
I enjoy my adventures on the road whether for work or pleasure––turning 40 and spending time in Hawaii and Alaska was magical––but when you ignore the daily work (which undoubtably happens whilst traveling) your life suffers.
Thankfully I realized this in time to take action;
Before the darkness sets––it could be a long, depressing winter if you don’t seek light.
Again, I remember to invite balance into my life (and home) through breath, trust, and yes, work!

Feed Me!

My stomach is growling. You're not hungry....I tell myself.
I sit here trying to ignore the demand for (more) food.
When you've given in to the cravings for the past six months and you're trying to get back on track––you must be strong.
I pour myself another cup of coffee and pretend it's a juicy burger.
My stomach knows better, but my head is strong and forces my brain to enjoy the savory cup of caffeine.

Ice Cream

My stomach says no;

My mouth says yes;

My ass says take a look at the number on the scale, and then decide.

Pause

I’m struggling to find a theme;
I close my eyes and breath.
Reminding myself that no one has demanded that I write, post, or create every day; this is a self-inflicted directive.
Suddenly, my shoulders drop down and a smile washes across my face.
A good pause is all you need to remember not to sweat...anything.

Wi? Fi!

I’m addicted to the Internet.

I know this to be true, because I rely on it for everything:

Work, entertainment, meal deliveries, supplies, shopping, the list goes on and on.

So when I sit at a status bar that is frozen in time…I seriously lose my shit.

I’ve asked before and I’ll ask again, how can we put a man on the moon and still struggle to secure a consistent WiFi platform?

I blame #NetNeutrality

Monday

Mind

Obviously

Needs

Daily

Activity and

Yoga.

Six Word Essay on Sunday

Faith, yoga, food, and HBO—perfection.

Saturday Shine; A Cheesy Poem

A glowing tan;

Lounging by the pool.

California blue skies;

Saturdays rule.

Lazy

I just woke up; it’s 9:52AM.
I feel rejuvenated and lazy at the same time.
I hustle and work so hard most days, it’s no wonder I want to live like a slacker when I have “nothing” on my calendar.
It’s important to give myself the space to be bum.

Everything Bagel

Deliciously doughy;
Covered in salty, crunch bits of garlic and seeds;
Smeared with cream cheese...
You really are EVERYTHING to me right now.
#AddictedToCarbs

Stillness

It’s a quite morning in my house.
The stillness is calming;
I feel peace surround me.
Traveling can be enjoyable, but often overwhelming, too.
It’s good to be home.

Lazy

I made it to yoga before crashing on my couch and binging Netflix;
Some days you just have to let go of the plans, stop pushing for perfection, and admit that you are a lazy lump.

Yoga!

Finding stillness in moving meditation;

The breath guides me into a calm surrender;

I find balance in the present and melt into my mat!

Travel Day

Overstuffed bags;
A lack of sleep;
Rushing to the airport;
TSA Pre-Check––once again––saves me;
Boarding the plane, people are rude;
Five hours in the air requires meditation;
It was a fabulous summer, but it will feel so wonderful to be home!

Boston Dance United; Day 7

Another season of dance has twirled by.
Countless plane rides between twenty states and two countries; and thousands of dancers.
Somehow, I’ve managed to choreograph enough content to keep the work fresh and my Instagram feed engaged––because you know it’s all about the social presence.
I’ve been more inspired than ever, giving myself the permission to be in the moment and trust that my work will mirror what the music and the artists’ energy is asking for.
If I said that I wasn’t concerned about turning forty and––still––being relevant (or even capable of dancing full out in class), I would be lying.
Thankfully, with a lot of help from my daily yoga practice, I think that I grew as a teacher and danced alongside the students in my classes a lot more, too!
I feel blessed for the opportunities to continue to cultivate my voice in dance.

Boston Dance United; Day 6

The body is ready for the last day;
But the soul craves more dance!
Gathered with artists from around the world creating with love and laughter.
The final curtain is always bittersweet, but if I’ve learned anything in the past 25 years...there will always be another show!

Boston Dance United; Day 5

It’s remarkable what a night of quality sleep––and a break from alcohol––can do for the body, mind, and bags under my eyes.
At 40 I’m feeling the daylong dance classes, but I’m thoroughly enjoying the creative challenge: cultivating the talent of young artists and pushing myself to create new choreography every hour!
The evenings are filled with stimulating conversation with talented, intelligent, hilarious artists from around the world.
This is exactly why the path of an artist chose me!

Boston Dance United; Day 4

I’m awake;
My body aches everywhere;
Coffee, shower, food, and a smile...
I’m off to the studio.

Boston Dance United; Day 3

My feet ache, but my soul feels well-fed;
Working with eager young artists alongside my favorite peers;
Evening excursions that connect and cultivate common ground between dancers from around the world;
Days that promote creativity and life through movement.

Boston Dance United; Day 2

The night was filled with laughter, wine, food, and more wine;
Today will be packed with dancers, choreography, and an aching body:
It’s not as easy––at 40––to dance the night away and then wake up and dance all day, too.

Boston Dance United; Day 1

Gathered around the table last night catching up on life, love, politics, and everything dance...
Familiar friends and new faces collectively laughing, sharing, and considering a statement from a different perspective.
Our passion for dance––more specifically our drive to create and share our art––unites us and encourages understanding, acceptance, love, growth, and a bond so strong that it overcomes our differences.
This is Dance United!

NYC to Boston

From The Big Apple to Beantown!

Living out of a bag for two weeks;

The smell of sweaty clothes—thank you east coast humidity—and overstuffed suitcases.

Rushing through underground tunnels and racing towards jammed-packed trains; TSA lines, and cranky kids!

Summertime travel for work or pleasure is always drama.

…living the dream?

The Big Apple; Day 4

I must remember my worth; I must remember my purpose.

I cannot allow someone else’s fear or reaction to my creativity consume me.

I love performing, choreographing, teaching, and writing; whether I get to do so on the “World’s Stage” or my little corner of the world, I am grateful.

The Big Apple; Day 3

It’s the day of the show!

Four day summer intensive;

Dancers from around the world gathered in celebration.

Learning, evolving, exploring!

I feel so honored to collaborate with my lifelong friend; (hopefully) inspiring the future of dance.

Or at least participating.

The Big Apple; Day 2

Vibrant, eclectic artists running between rehearsals;
Finding their voice with their bodies.
Packed studios––not even the air conditioning can contain the heat radiating off the dancers.
Flooded with memories from my “youth”, my 20′s in NYC;
It was then and remains, a magical, overwhelming, adrenaline filled adventure!