One Sided...

When I call you and you don't pick up the phone-
It's annoying.
When I send you an email and you don't respond-
That's hurtful.
When you ask me for help and I help, but don't return the favor-
That's disrespectful.
When I communicate to you that our relationship feels
one sided and all you do is talk about what you need-
That's the end.
I have no place for one sided relationships in my life.

The Cure For A Long Day...

When you're up too early,
And have a full day of;
Work, meetings, projects and a celebratory dinner party...
Drink more coffee!
And remember to smile a lot!
...wish me luck!

Note To Self...

When drinking all night long on an empty stomach-

Don't be surprised when you wake up the next afternoon and feel like dying!

Proud Of My Dad!

I love my dad.
I'm guilty of not calling him enough...
But when we catch up on the phone, I'm always happy afterwards.
We just talked this morning because he had some cool news to
share with me-
My dad runs a plumbing, heating and engineering company in
Southern Colorado.
He just found out today that he was appointed to the
State of Colorado Examining Board of Plumbers by the Governor of Colorado!
An especially cool accomplishment considering my dad's a Republican
(gross I know....) and the Governor of Colorado is a Democrat!
That means my dad is exceptional at what he does.
Of course I realized that when I was a kid...
My dad gave up so many of his dreams to make sure that my
sister and I could follow ours...
So I'm pleased that my dad is rewarded for his years of hard work!
Congratulations dad!
I love you.

FoodFest!

It's remarkable how fast you can gain five pounds!
In just one tiny little weekend...
It doesn't happen over night, but it sure feels that way.
You start off small;
Just a brunch with friends, maybe a "lite" lunch...
By dinner- you're ready for a full feast.
You wake up the next day and you still look and feel great-
So naturally you repeat the same behavior.
The only trouble is when you wake up the third day...
The scale has FOUND the extra treats.
You turn around, and YEP!
...There they are, magically attached to your "love handles"
and ass!
Time to get back on track!
God portion control is so annoying!!!
BUT IT WORKS.

I've Got The Spirit!

I woke up today feeling slightly deflated-

The past two weeks I've been allowing the negative energy 

to slowly trickle back into my day to day;

I know that life is full of ups and downs,

More important, I remember that I have the choice;

I can give into the fear and doubt,

Or I can choose to release the negative energy and

make room for the light. 

Pure positive energy and action.

I went to church this morning, and I was uplifted by

an energetic priest visiting from India.

He reminded me that life is full of opportunity, love

and if I allow it- the spirit of God.

The priests words filled my mind, heart and soul.

I am blessed with; my health, partner, family, friends, puppies,

a beautiful home, and the ability to wake up every shingle day and

pursue what I love!

I live my passion.

My adventure has purpose-

I choose to release the dark and let my spirit shine.

Going To The Getty

The perfect Saturday afternoon-
Wine on the terrace,
Walk through the Herb Ritts collection of photos,
Beer on the veranda,
Walk through the beautifully manicured garden.
European tourists everywhere!
Delicious people watching...
The perfect museum getaway.

An Observation...

I get extremely cranky when I have to sit in my house
and wait for a repair guy to show up!

In fact, I rage.

Especially if they've quoted a two hour "window"
of which they're two hours late!

That's all.

This Too Shall Pass... And other positive sayings...

I've made it through the better part of my life repeating mantras-

I have a quote, saying or state of mind for every situation.

Nevertheless, there are always those days when nothing seems to work...

It's in those moments when I really have to close my eyes, 

Take a deep breath in,

And release all the bullshit!

Life is too short to be caught up in things that won't matter in two weeks.

Every challenge, setback, fear or problem has always been resolved.

That resolution comes no matter how much I worry or dread it.

In fact, the sooner I release the shitty, negative, nasty feelings and focus on

positive action-

The faster my "issue" becomes a non-issue!

LIFE IS TOO SHORT!

Waiting For A Page To Load...

It's funny-

The more advanced technology gets,

The longer we have to wait for it!

Why does it take 4 minutes to load a webpage?

It didn't take that long back in 1996 when I had AOL dial-up!

Flash, Java, Beta, Algorithms...

I don't know what the deal is?!

I just know I have the most expensive High Speed Cable modem:

I want to turn on my computer, click on my Bookmark Bar

and log into my bank account!

Facebook has been especially poor loading.  

Too many people? or Too little attention to maintenance now that the site 

has gone public?

Who cares!

Just don't even think for one minute that I'm going to let some

IT guy talk me into adding "Flash" to my website!

I want a website that people can actually use!

Ugh!

Finally, the page I've been waiting for finished loading-

I better click on it before it times out!

The Plumber Poem

Crack,  Drip, Spray-
LEAK.
Crack, Drip, Spray-
LEAK
Our busted pipes are totally weak!
The plumber came and cracked our tile,
Plus we need a new kitchen sink!

Project Runway Parody!

I'm pleased to present the latest parody from A Group Production!
Fashion and comedy collide in our campy couture parody of Project Runway.
We were lucky to get an allstar cast including;
The brilliant Liam Kyle Sullivan from VH1's I Hate My 30's
and as Kelly in the YouTube sensation "Shoes!"
From Reno 911 the marvelous Kristina Hayes,
from Last Comic Standing, the hilarious Amy Claire and of course all of the
usuals are here too!

We hope our parody will leave you in stitches!

Little Black Bags

Little Black Bags,

Under my eyes-

Why they are there is no surprise.

Working all day,

Party all night;

I spend my Sunday looking like a FRIGHT!

This Is Happening In My Backyard...

The work is done...
No looking back-
Just time to rock out and dance at the little party going on in my backyard!

Pre-production work done...

Dance

Chill out.

The Sunset Strip Music Festival 2012!

Work Hard... Rock Hard! 2012 SSMF

The 2012 Sunset Strip Music Festival is this weekend!

I'm lucky enough to be a part of the team that produces 

three killer days of rock and roll on The Sunset Strip.

Of course, producing a festival of this magnitued takes a lot

of work~

But the perks make it all worth while!

Last night at the end of the day, I got to spend an hour dancing and

raging at The House of Blues VIP Kick-off celebrating the music and legacy

of The Doors, and Ray Manzarek (keyboards) and Robby Krieger (guitar) 

from The Doors took the stage!

Another fun highlight of the evening for me was hanging out with 

Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff (former Baywatch Star and Ex-wife of 

"The Hoff." She was off the charts hilarious.

It's all in a days work!

A Meeting of the Minds!

Last night I hosted an evening of creativity, laughter and networking for
my manager and her clients.
It's cliché to say, but the only true ingredient to success in any industry is
the people you're connected to!
I'm honored to be among a small, elite group of talented artist all guided
by our wonderful; manager, colleague and friend, Michelle Zeitlin.
It was encouraging to be in a room full of artist that write, act, sing, dance and produce-
all of them ready to collaborate on new projects and continue building bonds.

Michelle Zeitlin w/ clients Matthew Shaffer, Jeff Payton & Adam Bay (L to R)

Neat Freak...

I'm a neat freak.
But I'm not a clean freak.
The difference?
Everything I own is organized, stored or displayed beautifully-
But covered in dust!
I realized this fact this morning while I was cleaning for a party.
I'm not as OCD about being clean as I am about almost everything else!
PLEASE don't miss understand, I do not live in filth!
I vacuum, dust and throw away my garbage on a regular basis.
However, I'm not as detail oriented when it comes to spotless windows,
floors or tchotchke's!
I guess it's okay to be a little relaxed from time to time.
Just make sure you don't look to closely at my mirrors or windows
the next time you're invited to my home!

Late to Bed, Early To Rise... It's a Producers Life

Waking up at 6 AM is not necessarily my favorite thing in the world to do-

However, if I plan to accomplish any of the goals I've set for myself

this week, I have no choice but to wake up when the sun begins to rise.

Don't get me wrong, waking up early has its advantages...

I get first pick of the pastries at Starbucks.

More importantly, I'm able to get twice as much accomplished.

I guess it's all part of the territory when you tackle shooting a parody for

our production company while helping to produce an event for the Sunset Strip!

No one said being a producer was going to be easy.

And it's certainly not my idea of fun;

But I'm sure I'll be proud of the work, 

once it's over and I'm watching the footage!

Food Wars!

My puppies will only eat their own food if they know the other one wants it!

Feeding time becomes a battle of the divas...

Ginger, my Yorkshire Terrier is half the size of Lily, my Shih Tzu- 

Yet Ginger is the first to pounce.

Ginger will wait until Lily is inches away from her food dish, and 

then Ginger will swoop in and start eating Lily's food!

Naturally, this starts a furball-tornado that last until they've both 

run back and forth between their food bowls whirling food around our house!

I guess some dogs have to work up an appetite in order to eat their kibble!

But if I step on another piece of faux steak bits, I'm going to 

Sneak Peak

Yesterday we shot our biggest parody yet!
It was a jam-packed day of gut-wrenching laughter!
We're so lucky to know so many talented performers...
Here's a sneak peak from A Group Productions latest parody!
Project Runway...

Production Day!

I love a production day!
Sure there's the stress of making sure lights and sound are perfect,
the sets are dressed, the costumes are clean, the craft service station is ready,
the shot list is in order, the parking permits are ready....
Then you have to wrangle the cables, wrangle the actors, and try NOT to wrangle anyone's neck!
But then-
There's the joy of creating a fun new project with our talented friends.
The laughter, the conversations between takes, the magic of when a scene comes
together-
It's an overwhelming and long day;
I wouldn't dream of doing anything else with my life!

Simply The Best...

Fresh baguette toasted and slathered in salted butter and strawberry jam!

It's usually the simple things in life that make us smile with delight-

Breakfast was delicious.

It's going to be a good day...

The Back to School Blues...

Remember back when you were a kid on summer vacation?
The joy of unlimited adventures in the sun, pool, arcade, movie theatre, amusement parks...
The list is endless!
Then August 1st would come...
"Dooms Day"- the countdown for back to school!
As a kid, August felt like the final stand.
You had to try and squeeze in more fun before you
got stuck in a class room learning again.
Funny, not much changes as an adult.
August still feels like that month that got away-
So many plans for BBQ's, camping trips, days at the beach...
But so little time.
August is like the final hours on a Sunday:
You know you have the time off, but it feels like torture because you realize that it's only
a matter of time before you're back to the grind!
Ugh!
I guess we just have to make the best of the final days of summer sun...
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a water park to hit!

Six Work Essay on Hiking...

Uphill sucks, but helps the butt!

Pep Talk...

Come on Matthew, you can make it!
Release your fear and just go fake it-
Don't give in to worry and doubt,
Trust your instinct and knock it out!
[Repeat three times and then release your troubles.]
*Remember:
Positive thoughts and action lead to success!

Release and Move Forward!

Woke up with a lot on my mind-

I have two options:

Give into the negative thoughts and see how that plays out...

or

Release the emotions, focus on where they came from and take positive action to satisfy the fear.

Life is only as difficult as we allow it to be.

I choose not to start a fresh new week during the beginning of August off on the wrong foot!

Now if you'll excuse me...

I'm off to meditate and reemerge a happier me!

Photo Bombing...

Remember photo bombing before the digital era?!
You'd set up that perfect shot;
Careful to make sure every hair was in place,
Nothing in your teeth,
And everyone was standing in a pose that best suited their body type-
The photo is snapped...
There days later, upon picking up the developed pictures from the drugstore-
And there it is: That perfect picture with some random assholes head in the background!
...their idea of a fun memory!
Now, in tbd digital age we can laugh about these things the instant we see them and reshoot!
Still, sometimes a photo bombing asshole is pretty hilarious!
Happy Birthday and surprise!

Livin' Like a Rockstar!

I imagine everyone dreams of being a Rockstar at some point in their lives...

Then reality sets in.

Life on the road,

Sex, drugs, and no sleep!

Sure you get the screaming fans and the unlimited line of people dying to sleep with you...

But you probably only shower twice a week!

Gross.

That's why I'm happy with the lifestyle I live...

My job description changes as fast as Joan Rivers face!

Last night I was excited to be at an event to jump start the 2012 Sunset Strip Music Festival at the 

GuitarTown Launch!

Rock and Roll!  

...and a couple Jack & Cokes!

A Personal Quote on How I Strive To Live My Life~

"Trust your instinct.
Act as if today were your last day on earth.
Apologize when you get it wrong." 
                                                 -Matthew Shaffer

Dinner with Friends

Friends make everything in life more wonderful...
What's better than homemade spaghetti and meatballs?
...Homemade spaghetti and meatballs with a group of your closest friends.
Like my grandma always says,
"Make new friends, but keep the old. New friends are silver, but old ones are gold."
Plus, life is short.
So enjoy more carb loading!

Spaghetti & Meatballs Part1

Spaghetti & Meatballs Part 2

Spaghetti & Meatballs Part3

Friends Part 1

Friends Part 2

Puppies

Cheese!

Surprise!

Puppy Love!

I mean honestly?!

Is there anything better than the unconditional love from a puppy?

The answer is yes!

It's the unconditional love and cuddling from TWO puppies!

I love my girls Lily and Ginger...

They make life more manageable.