Happy Halloween

Children dressed up like little witches, monsters, or their favorite athletes and superheroes;
Young adults dressed up as sexy / hot [Fill In The Blank];
Grown adults dressed up like former presidents or prominent former-leaders-turned-laughing stocks;
Then there are those who phone it in, with a tux and a martini glass a la James Bond––they might as well just buy the T-Shirt that reads, “This is my Halloween Costume.”

Now, Or Never

The time to be present is now. 

Nothing that has happened in the past, or might happen in the future, can replace what is happening now.

The ability to recognize this simple truth has made all the difference on my journey. 

Is That Me, I See?

Staring at my face in the mirror;
The subtle stubble shadows my laugh lines;
When did I evolve into my father?

Enter Zen Through Daily Observations.

Walking through our Zen garden I saw life;
Once neglected and desolate;
Tropical blooms tower over randomly placed stones.
Water and TLC restored Peace.

Wake Up Smiling...

When you wake up in a fabulous mood, even the leaf blowers sound like instruments in a Disney movie.
The chirping sound of birds is the perfect background melody to start my morning rituals;
Even the (usually) annoying toddler––stomping back and forth above––does so with the precision of a bandleader;
Today, is a beautiful day.

Note To Self:

I just spent two hours doing something that should have taken ten minutes;
I need a vacation.

Exhausted

Three alarms,
Two leaf blowers,
A dumptruck and a traffic helicopter;
And I still couldn’t wake up!
My body is exhausted and another hour in bed made all the difference.

Audition

The saying goes, “When it rains it pours.”
Yes, and thank the Universe––and God––too, because 2017 has been a desert wasteland.
The moment I regained my creative conscious, I took action!
It’s one of the challenges of the entertainment industry; you can never know when the next job is coming––but you always have to keep the faith that it will come!

On Set

Walking onto a monstrous soundstage I’m instantly transported back to my childhood fantasies.

The overwhelming, yet familiar space encourages me to stand taller.

The skeleton of the set reminds me of my grandma’s doll house. 

The air is cool and the Hollywood haze fills the scene—they call it atmosphere—it’s a dream.

I pinch myself under a gigantic movie light: stay present. These are the moments that I will undoubtedly look back on when I feel like I’m never going to work again.

Crew, talent, craft service, and a lot of smoke and mirrors; it’s a collaborative process and I’m grateful for the job.

A Fall Sunday

Waking up late;
Coffee and cartoons cuddled on the couch with my puppies;
The sound of football high-fives echo through the neighborhood;
Garage sales;
Brunch;
Window shopping on Ventura Boulevard.
Yoga and church––both bringing me back to the present.
A midday nap by the pool;
I love a fall Sunday!

A Quick Trip To Target

Toilette paper,
Coffee,
Dog treats;
You know...the basics.
I don’t know what’s worse:
That I just used my blog post to make my Target list,
Or, that I can’t remember three items.

It’s An Art

Not giving a fuck.

Grandma taught me to be respectful, to treat people as I hoped to be treated. I agree with that on paper.

My dad taught me to stand up for what’s right; sometimes that means fighting fire with fire. I agree with that in practice.

I’ve found the perfect balance; assessing the circumstances and responding with the precise amount of compassion, power, and truth. 

The key ingredient: not giving a fuck what people think—not everyone’s moral compass works; stay true to you!

Validation

One aspect of my morning ritual involves writing in my journal.
My journaling––born out of a need to hold myself accountable in high school––has developed into a habit over the last twenty years of my life.
At first, the journaling was a way to talk through things with myself before “putting them out there” to the universe.
An angry rant directed toward a friend, whom I really liked but felt betrayed by; my journal was a safe space to share.
Likewise, I was free to set goals, confess sins, and think. I did a lot of thinking, overanalyzing, reading, and of course, making lists.
In time, this freedom ushered a daily routine which has served me well.
Inspiring me to dream bigger, share bigger, and trust.
Looking back on any number of journal entries unlocks a memory from my past. No doubt a useful tool for a writer, I have called on these often dramatic transcripts to relive the agonizing pain or brilliant joy.
This morning I was working through my feelings and cataloging the hints of doubt about the past year.
“Did I do this or that enough...”
“Could I have pushed more here?”
“Have I been present?”
It only took me a few seconds to get back to the present. Simultaneously answering myself and feeling like maybe I have grown this year.
So far, this hasn’t been a year of huge outward strides; yet inside, I feel like I’ve grown more as a person and artist.  I’ve held myself accountable for being present and releasing the need to overachieve.
I’ve found more balance and somehow managed to create more rewarding job opportunities, too.
I finished my journal entry and headed to yoga class feeling reinvigorated and reminded that by remaining present I have an opportunity to prioritize goals, jobs, and my life, so that I can focus on positive action without fear.
After a blissful yoga class, I walked out of the yoga studio to a voice message from production; I booked a job choreographing a TV show next week.
I’m not saying that positive energy will always get you the job; but I’ve noticed that I seem to attract the emotion I put out into the world.  Today, I worked my way thought a negative thought pattern. The moment I was realigned with my perspective, I received validation.

Why I Yoga...

Feeling completely annoyed.
Accepting circumstances that are out of my hands is one of the hardest challenges to my peace of mind.
The ability to let go, release control, and move on;
It’s why I yoga.
I need to hit the mat!

Health Kick

I eat too much;
Therefore I’m fat.
I do yoga;
On a mat.
All the stretching, meditation, and sweat isn’t enough;
My inner peace is currently surrounded by a thick protective layer.
It’s time for a detox: mind, body, soul.

(Another) Technical Rage

Waiting for Safari to load on my 3 year old laptop is like that time in high school, when I first popped in a AOL Online CD into my best friend Leah’s computer.
We sat for 15 minutes enduring the crashing, screeching noise of information and (the end of privacy as we knew it) transmitting into the vast unknown.
My point, why––in the 21st Century––do I still have to wait to get online?
And why is a 3-year-old computer as obsolete as a VCR?

Lazy

Lying in my bed looking at social media;
I’m not sure who is snoring louder––my dogs or my husband.
The crisp air snaps my arm back under the covers;
I should get up and start my day.
Then I remember it’s Sunday.
For a moment I contemplate falling back into my slumber;
But the allure of walking to Starbucks on this perfect fall morning is stronger;
I roll out of bed, throw on a hat, and bully myself into starting the day.

Leave Me Alone.

A bad dream haunted me last night;
Still cranky and unwilling to let go;
I need space!
Leave me alone.

Snooze

Who needs an alarm when you have leaf blowers?
The most annoying sound at 7AM;
I lie in bed, extending my hand in search of the snooze button.

Uncomplicated

Overwhelmed with an empty schedule;
Why do I crave ink all over a calendar?
If I’m not overachieving, am I really succeeding?
Like a dancer falling out of a pirouette, I crave balance.
A deep breath and back to the mat;
Meditation for the mind, body, and soul.
Uncomplicated; life is how we react to it.

Take A Break

Staring at a blank screen;
Absent of words;
I took a break.

Everything Bagel

Crisp outer layer;
Doughy, delicious, center;
Covered in crunchy, salty, burnt morals...
You really are everything to me!

A Moment of Clarity

Waking up without the looming dread; what’s next?
Confident in my path, and present enough to understand that both past and future are never NOW.
Accepting balance and appreciating the magic in the unknown;
My journey continues to reveal itself in bountiful ways beyond my childhood imagination.
Victories and setbacks––which have shaped my life––continue to motivate me and remind me to trust the circumstance that I’m confronted with today; with calm confidence.

Grey

The carpet in my hotel room;
The sky outside my hotel window;
The color of the eggs at the hotel continental breakfast.
Vibrant yellow:
The feeling I have inside remembering that this is my last weekend of travel for a month!

Six Word Essay on Travel

Coffee and a headset; that’s all!

Present; Energy

When the distance of a goal or dream feels impossibly far;
I’m reminded of the power that can be harnessed from the present.
Every tremendous victory that I’ve accomplished in my life––both personally and professionally––happened when I least expected it.
The moment I released expectation and accepted what is.

Timeline

Seeking joy in the details of today.
Tomorrow offers false expectations and hopes;
Yesterday provides unfair comparisons;
The present offers all there is––good or bad––and the opportunity to triumph.

Meetings

The promise of something big;
Whilst drinking expensive coffee and laughing at each other’s jokes.
Every opportunity starts the same way:
Twenty minutes talking about the weather, kids, and current events;
And then––a five minute pitch.
Check please.
You hope you made an impact.

I Need Meditation

My mind is too tired for words.
Struggling to silence the noise;
Ready for my yoga mat.

Sad and Senseless.

In one sweeping action––from the safety of a hotel room 32 stories above––a solo gunman robbed innocent men, women, and children of their lives.
No doubt an act of homegrown terror; whether over race, religion, or perhaps he was just a very sick person.
Regardless, his access to a deadly weapon––one that so easily showered hundreds of unknowing and guiltless humans with death and injury––should have been prevented.
We have to unite as Americans and stand up for better gun control.
And while we’re at it, we need to do more to help the millions of people who suffer from mental illness.

The Creative Vibrations

What often feels like a holding pattern is––on a deeper level––an opportunity to evolve;
Walking a tightrope between overachieving and slacking off;
Giving myself the space to breathe and trust.
My need to push and fight––validated at some point during my childhood––has inspired me to reach for the impossible, and achieve my goals.
The million dollar question, “Would I have ended up in the same place had I not fought with all of my force?”
That’s what I’m exploring, NOW.  Finding the present in 2017;
It’s been exhausting.
It requires Faith.
Breath.
Balance.
Mediation.
And letting go;
I have to allow time for the things that I’ve worked so long and hard for, to find their creative vibration and lead me to my next endeavor.
I’m not treading water, I’m sailing with the current towards my dreams.