Truth on Tour: Day 2

I woke up early and eager;
Yesterday I managed to accomplish all of my daily resolutions:
Post social media content, spend time writing my new book, give myself a yoga class, find time to read, journal, and still somehow I was able to work.
In order to achieve these tasks, I’ve accepted that I have to wake up before the sun comes out.
My body wants sleep, but my soul needs to feel fulfilled;
Sometimes balance requires compromise––while on tour, it comes in the form of a baker’s wake-up call.
...It’s time to make the donuts!

Truth on Tour: Day 1

The alarm rang ten minutes after I woke up;

It's rare that I get a good nights sleep before a travel day.

Showered, dressed, and kissed the puppies goodbye.

We arrived to an empty airport—apparently the only time LAX is calm: 4AM.

I reacted like a First grader when they lose their favorite toy when I discovered that Starbucks was closed, and wouldn't open until after we take off.

The drama continued when I realized that I'm going to be on a three hour flight sitting next to a man who smells like Robert Downey Jr's breath (before rehab.)

This is #TheGlamorousLife!

Life on Tour

I'm hours away from embarking on a four week tour of the US; teaching, choreographing, and adjudicating dancers in glamorous cities like New York, Chicago, Atlantic City, and San Antonio.

As if the idea of spending a month living out of a bag, eating lukewarm convention food, and tolerating the needless body pat-downs from power hungry TSA agents doesn't make you think twice about my chosen line of profession—imagine leaving your cuddly puppies, comfortable pillow-topped bed, and of course my husband.

Like a high school Math team, I've spent the past week trying to mentally prepare for my TOURnament, with meditation, "to-do" lists, and creating projects that will keep me distracted while away from home.

One of those projects is a daily account of my life on the road; my objective with Truth on Tour, is to stay positive and creative through a series of quips, videos, pictures, and blog posts.

With any luck, I'll be so overwhelmed with creativity and brilliant energy, that I won't be so consumed with missing my family.

But for today, I'm going to enjoy a puppy in my lap and the other cuddling up next to me!

A Trip to the Mall

Sometimes spending money encourages me to make more money! 

The Power of Positivity

Light and dark;
Positive and negative;
Good and evil;
The ability to remain present requires acknowledging the difficult task we face as people––the power of choice; to allow other people or circumstances to effect our ego, or release it and stay present.
Grandpa always said, “If you want to be happy, be happy.” Equally that must mean, “If you want to be unhappy, be unhappy.”
The choice is ours.

Reminder

I woke up and started writing in my journal (as I do every morning) and I started to feel overwhelmed––which is the opposite feeling that I expect when I’m releasing my emotions on a blank page.
I took a step back and realized that I was thinking about the next four weeks on tour; how long I was going to be out of town, and how little creative time I’ll have for my writing, acting, and choreography projects.
I paused and released the fear; I reminded myself that life is full of opportunity––when I give myself the opportunity to stay present and focus on what’s in front of me.
Release the past, let go of the future, and shine today.

Zen Accountability

In an effort to stay present on tour, while also finding time to exercise my body and my mind, I'm going to start a new social media experiment; which will encourage me to meditate and simultaneously maintain my mental and physical strength.
#TenMinuteYogaOnTour
The idea is simple: Whether I’m in an airport waiting for a connecting flight or in the Green Room waiting to go on stage; there is no reason why I cannot find ten minutes in every day to be mindful.  The bonus is that I can stay connected socially and encourage others to take positive steps in their mental, physical, and spiritual health, too.
I haven’t worked out all of the details, and I’m not entirely certain how to incorporate an interactive social presence––but like every new adventure, the path will become clear once I start the journey.
Regardless of the success of this new yoga based social experiment; I know that I will stay accountable and aware of my overall health––and that is a Zensation!

Outlook is Everything

I woke up later than I’d like to on my day off;
At first, I was upset and I started to think about all of the things I “needed” to do before I could actually “enjoy” my free time––and then I remembered how easy it can be to release all of the pressure, and just start doing things.
My grandpa used to say, “If you want to be happy, be happy.”
Yes, it really can be that simple––if you understand that we have a choice;
I can continue to tell myself that I’ve wasted time and the day is ruined, or I can remind myself that I was able to get the sleep my body felt it needed and now I can be more present during my tasks.
Life is short, and it goes by fast––be here now, and find happiness in whatever the circumstance may be.

Clear Mind

The last thing I want to do on my day off is clean; especially when I'm getting ready to go on tour for a month—leaving behind my family at home.

I wanted to spend quality time with Jeff and our puppies, rather than running errands and vacuuming.

While I was hunched over the kitchen table dusting, I came across a note that is written myself; "Be present."

Instantly smacked down with—yet another reminder that I am here now; tomorrow might not come (I know this sounds bleak, but it's true) so why not make this a fun memory?

I took a deep breath (a common theme lately), turned on Amazon Prime, and rocked out with Jeff and my puppies while we got our household chores wrapped up.

Simply stated: "Awareness leads to a clean mind!" 

Life; Evolution and Awareness

Like tastebuds, emotions evolve.
What an exhilarating moment when you no longer desire acceptance;
Instead, finding inner peace, gratitude, and awareness.
The ability to look back into the past with fond memories––without getting stuck there; simultaneously, looking toward the future––without losing the present.

Morning Traveler

When you arrive at the airport early and you discover that Starbucks isn't open—but Pizza Famiglia is;

So, I can get a slice but I can't get a drip?

Heartburn before caffeine just doesn't seem right.

Barnes & Noble

I’m on the road teaching and choreographing––which is par for the course for me during this time of year––surprisingly I have a chunk of time off to myself; so I decided to walk over to a Barnes & Noble to be creative.
The moment I walked through the threshold, I was transported to my earliest memories of the bookstore mega-chain.
When I first moved away from home, I spent most of my downtime in Chicago (when I wasn’t at the gym trying to bulk up to secure a place in the concert dance company I was apprenticing for) sitting in the alcove of books; searching for answers.
I was still in the closet, broke, and consumed with gaining knowledge on: art, history, acting, style, design, fashion, philosophy, and spirituality.
Hours would pass effortlessly as I combed through stacks of books and magazines––keeping detailed notes in my journal (prior to SmartPhones or a laptop.)
When I moved to New York City, I continued to find solace at Barnes & Noble––finally out of the closet, I hoped to meet my future husband; he would also love books and be passionate about wasting days drinking overpriced coffee while researching the latest ideas in entertainment and pop culture.
Finally at a point where I was open and honest with myself, I decided to dream big and I found inspiration to do so everywhere I looked.  I knew that one day I, too, would be an author with a book on these shelves.
(Hey, I kept a journal––and I knew that I had important things to share with the world. So why shouldn’t I think about becoming a writer?)
When I met my boyfriend (now husband) Jeff, we discovered early on that we had a mutual obsession with killing time in a bookstore.  It was my match made in heaven.
We moved to Los Angeles together several years later, and continued to find bliss in the Newsstand at the Barnes & Noble at The Grove.
So now, as I walk around the store today, I’m reminded of the journey that I’ve been on.  It’s bizarre to accept that twenty years have passed since I first fell in love with getting lost in a sea of words on a page.
I’m a published author now, and my book sits on the shelves in the very store I first decided that I could do anything I put my mind to.
The word surreal doesn't even begin to define my emotional reaction.
Not at all in the place I imagined I might be when I was eighteen, and setting my sights on a brilliant future––while I still feel that kid inside; I have evolved into a version of myself that God has designed, far more rewarding than any goal I had envisioned.
I have been blessed; and I just re-discovered that, in a bookstore.

Food For Thought

I wear a retainer at night in order to keep my teeth in place while I sleep;
If only they made a retainer for your tummy!

Ray Of Light

The vibrant golden line appears in my window––sending a warm amber ray of light; as if setting the stage for a rehearsed morning dancing.
I sit at my breakfast table writing in my journal, doing my best to focus on the present.
If this beautiful beam of energy, doesn’t serve as a reminder;
nothing will.
Trust in light, seek light, be light.

Cheesy Rhyming Poem: Day Off

When the sun is high and the sky is blue;
You better believe you will find me in our pool!
There's nothing better than a day off outdoors;
It's called balance, even if it means ignoring chores.

Just Say No.

Dairy is my nemesis;

I eat too much of it—and then complain about eating it.

The Time Is Now

I cannot accept the present if I continue to think about the future;
Likewise, my current situation will not evolve if I compare it to my past.
This moment is here now––regardless of yesterday’s victories or setbacks; and tomorrows challenges or accomplishments will come tomorrow.
Living in the present requires the Faith to be in this moment––and no where else.

Six Word Essay on Balance

Balance requires unplugging; now’s the time.

Peace

Humanity.
Violent and compassionate––we coexist with people who share vastly different backgrounds: politically, socially, religiously, and economically; it’s devastating when one disturbed individual plays God in the name of God.

Happiness

My grandma used to say if you have to cross the street for happiness, you've gone to far.

Similarly, she'd remind me often that money cannot buy happiness.

I know that my grandma was a very positive person—and I trust that she honestly believed that money would not add value to the quality of her life;

Still, I can only imagine how excited she would have been to be able to afford a fancy streak house dinner from time to time.

As I continue to explore my personal happiness, I question what motivates me.

I am a performer; an artist who is used to struggling—never entirely certain where my next job will be, or how much it will pay.

Now that I'm more established, I have more opportunities and financial independence—and I must admit, it's nice to have a refrigerator stocked with food, instead of cabinets full of Top Ramen. So in that regard, money has provided happiness.

Equally, I enjoy going to movies, wearing nice clothing, and traveling—all things that require money. However, I get to pursue my passion and earn a living.

I'm not sure that I would appreciate any of the fancy-pants lifestyle choices I make, if I were forced to take a job I loathed.

Moreover, I believe that if I lost every material procession, I would still go out of my way to find happiness; however insignificant it might seem.

So my conclusion (at least in this moment) is that I appreciate the things that money can bring—but I find joy in the fact that I continue to seek peace and gratitude in the relationships and opportunities I'm blessed with.

Soaking Up The Sun at Starbucks

Delicious coffee,
A random celebrity;
Starbucks after yoga.

On With The Show

On my worst day in this business––I still feel alive with passion;
The darkness and doubt is not match for the energy that rushes to my soul when I get to share my story.
Rejection is part of the larger pictures;
The success in in the journey.
Connecting with an audience,
Collaborating with other artists;
A magnificent body of work develops over time.
A moment of recognition;
No failure will overshadow the triumph of accomplishing a dream.

Six Month Check-Up

We’re supposed to go to the doctors office for regular check-ups;
So it makes perfect sense the I should follow up on my creative, mental, and emotional goals that I set in January.
It’s easy to start the year off with a newfound energy and inspiration; maintaining it throughout the year can be difficult.
Thankfully, I’ve tapped into a manageable way to stay accountable for my resolutions, without becoming insanely obsessive.
I’ve implemented a set of daily reminders to keep me on track without the crazy:

• Start each day with a morning meditation.
• Journal––to release my frustrations and talk through my goals.
• Allow no more than (5) goals or tasks on a list at a time; once I’ve completed an action, I can add a new objective to the list. (This helps me stay focused on the most pressing matters, and allow things to be resolved in order of urgency.)
• Remain positive; the moment I feel negative thoughts or energy, take a deep breath and refocus on a new action that incorporates positive action.
• Live in the now; accepting what is in front of me and making the most of it.
• Trust––maintaining faith that if I follow the steps above, everything will work out.

It’s important to check in with your goals regularly.  No one ever accomplished anything by chance or luck; there was a dream, which lead to a goal, that gave way to preparation, that later turned into opportunity.
Life is short––take action and be positive; everything happens with Faith, hard work, and positive action.

Balance Is Key

It’s a beautiful summer day in LA;
Blue skies, birds are chirping––not even the sound of the gardeners leaf blowers are a distraction.
I sit here contemplating my next step:
A. Continue writing inside?
B. Stop what I’m doing and go to the pool?
C. Take my laptop to the pool and be creative there?
I think the answer is clear.
Balance is key; and today I’ll be balancing my laptop on a pool chair!

Meet Me At The Mall

I’m sitting at the mall searching for creativity.
Drawn to the food court where similar Mac men and women peck at their keyboards, while people––who take the shape of characters from any random 80′s film––devour food-on-a-stick.
For every sentence I complete, I reward myself with a thirty-second scan of my surroundings:
Moms comforting crying kids,
Old ladies playing mahjong,
Old men playing chess,
Teenagers plotting their next takedown,
And me––fighting for my next great idea;
Maybe some MSG from Panda Express will help me?

I am Blessed; I am also a Baby.

Yesterday I threw a huge party for myself;
It was a themed party: Pity.
I allowed minor annoyances to cause a shift in my outlook––which in turn caused a major adjustment in the mood of my peers and coworkers.
There’s no doubt that one persons energy can impact an entire population.
I woke up this morning embraced at my lack of maturity;
I had several opportunities to take a deep breath and turn my day around yesterday; but like a small child who is demanding that toy in Target––I gave into my selfish side.
The beauty of life is that every day that we wake up, we have the luxury of a fresh start––we can decide to let the past dictate the future, or we can live in the present; a true gift.

Friendly Reminder: Bad Days

Bad days are a choice;
I have the tools to release the negative energy and work through the anger, fear, resentment, or insecurity.
One deep breath at a time, I seek to be present in this moment.
I cannot change the actions of another person, but I can change how I react to them.
I cannot control my emotions, but I can acknowledge my feelings––and set a course for healing.
Nothing successful develops from an unpleasant attitude;
The past is gone, let it go and move on!

Puppy Vs. Human

I’m watching my Shih Tzu, Lily, cram her furry head into the side of the couch;
Burrowing deep into the pile of blankets to shield her ears from the sounds of the neighborhood leaf blowers and trash trucks––disturbing our quite reading time.
If only I could bury my head every time I hear something that annoys me;
I could walk around with a pillow and protect myself from the needless distractions.

Life Lesson:

When the sun is shining bright there’s only one thing to do:
Go to the pool!
Finding a balance between work and play can be difficult;
But with twenty-four hours in a day––it’s not impossible to set aside two hours for a relaxing recharge.
It will help inspire creativity, and perhaps motivate you to start attacking your goals from a new point of view.

Letting Go; Again.

I woke up agitated and the simplest mis-exchange of information set me off in a cranky mood;
No way to start a day off––but how to get back on track?
Trying to navigate through life’s ups and downs can be daunting; on the one hand, you want to be able to feel your feelings––and then sometimes you just have to get over them and move on.
My grandpa used to say, “If you want to be a happy, be happy.”
This didn’t make sense as a child, but now I understand––I have a choice, and I can use it to sit in misery reliving the negative moment, or I can release the energy and smile.
Life is short, I’m ready to take a breath and let this one go.