Binging And Don't Care.

I’ve been on a three day Amazon Prime binge.
I should feel guilty about parking my butt on my oversized Pottery Barn sofa and gazing into the 60 inch screen currently playing The Good Wife (I’m on season 4 episode 18), but here are the facts:
Last week I finished my second manuscript––a creative nonfiction work that is approximately 80,000 words.  It’s only the first draft, but I believe that a few weeks away from my writing will help me reapprouch the stories with new inspiration.
Second, I have just been commissioned to set my second piece of choreography on the dancers at Slippery Rock.
Third, (yesterday between binging) I sent 15 emails, responded to 30 emails, orchestrated a video shoot which I am directing and producing in May, and finalized job opportunities for the fall."
Oh, and I managed to get down in my yoga class every day, too!
I’ve overachieved for the past five years straight, and I’m ready to join the land of the lazy without bullying myself into doing more.

The Joy of City Living

The pounding in my head––that woke me from my lazy day-off-slumber––was actually construction workers repairing my neighbor's rooftop;
I need ten Advil, ASAP!
#TheJoyOfCityLiving

My Zen; Again.

Cherishing the silence;
My mind is still, calm, present.
Through an open window in my living room I hear the sounds of nature in the suburbs;
An airplane cuts through the sky and I think how fortunate that I’m down here––at home with my family rather than traveling for work.
Life is a balancing act;
Finding gratitude for the creative opportunities that arrive unexpectedly, while navigating through thankless (but necessary) jobs; still nourishing my family and friends.
Like clockwork my brain attempts to redirect my focus to something out of my control;
I take a deep breath and return to my Zen.
Peace through the present and Faith toward the future.

Caffeinated

I wake up to a fresh pot of coffee and start my day.
Writing, reading, journaling, yoga––and finally more coffee.
While running errands I decide to stop at Starbucks for a grande iced latte.
Now, at home and comfortably seated on my sofa, I sip a sweet cappuccino and binge watch episodes of The Good Wife on Amazon prime.
I’m perfectly caffeinated.

Be Here, Now

I felt the urgency to be present;

When I realized I was drinking someone else's coffee.

#SlowDown 

Destructive Ego

Waking up from my ego infested mood;

It plagued me all day yesterday, but with a new day comes a new opportunity.

My head creates drama and my soul seeks peace;

Faith and a deep breath are working against the wheels in my head; I have the choice to move past this moment.

Manhattan Quartet

A Manhattan at the bar to get the party started;
A Manhattan in the lounge to keep the party going;
A Manhattan with our entrée to elevate the party;
A Manhattan as a nightcap to wrap up a solid reunion with my closest friends.
The perfect Manhattan Quartet!

Peace through Presence

I’m currently reading 3 unrelated books; randomly, each of them is delivering the same message: be present.
The memo (in triplicate) is loud and clear.
All of the yoga and self-discovery books have inspired me to spend my energy investing in this moment.
Finding space to loosen my grip on goal setting and planning; accepting what I have now and releasing what I think I need.
I continue to find comfort in the unexplainable magic that happens when I stay positive and trust in God.
The law of attraction is no Secret; it’s truth.  Peace is ours when we decide that we want peace and actively seek it.

Pilates

The deception is real;

I don't need to be reformed, the mat was hard enough. 

My core feels stronger just looking at the UGI ball;

Now I have to hold it over my head and curl up?

I'm certain my body will hate me tomorrow.

Red-Eye

Get to the airport,

Drink heavily,

Board your flight,

Pass out,

Wake up 5 hours later with a major headache;

Now, start your day in a new time zone without sleep.

Spring Is In The Air...

Pollen swirling all around;
Up my nose yellow dust clouds stir and sting.
Watery eyes and unexpected sneezing.
Spring has sprung all over my Kleenex;
Pretty flowers reduced to phlem.

Overachiever's Reminder:

There is a time for work and a time for play;
A space for creative growth and a cushion for rest;
An opportunity to seek new horizons and the gratitude of accepting where you are;
A moment to silence the chaos and be still, eventually welcoming the joyous music of the birds networking in the rustling trees.
Balance is available everywhere at anytime––when we remember to breathe.

Overachiever's Unhealthy Outlook:

Anything more than four hours of sleep is just wasteful.

Fake It; Positively

A forced smile is the best start to a change in mood;
Positive energy doesn’t take much momentum––and will always lead to a brighter day.

Feed Me!

I’m not sure that my late night Postmates order––pizza from MiDiCi––is helping me with my body issues.
The main issue: I want to be thin, I just love food too much.

Is There Anything Worse?

I could make a list of things that are no doubt worse than waking up with a splitting headache including: death, the loss of a limb, if Starbucks closed all of their (approximately) 14,000 company-operated and licenses stores in the US, or if 30 Rock gets cancelled–––wait, don’t tell me...
But in this moment, my pounding skull and the pressure in my sinuses feels like a bigger disaster than the Presidential Election of 2016! ...Too soon?

Self Reflection...

I spent my twenties fighting for opportunities;
And most of my early thirties exploiting those experiences.
Now, I’m ready to begin enjoying the hustle.
As I confront the next decade I’m asking myself: what will bring me joy?
The answers are less about creative goals and more about quality of life.
Finding gratitude in the present and trusting that each day will bring me closer to the most evolved, enlightened, well-rounded man I can be.
My role model, my grandma, was inspirational beyond belief; not because of what she accomplished in life––but in who she was and how she lived her life.
That’s my new aim––not to be remember by what I accomplished, but rather in how I served humanity.

I'm Over Reality...

My addiction to reality television can be traced back to the summer before my junior year of high school. MTV introduced audiences to a groundbreaking unscripted docuseries called The Real World.
The show was a first of its kind.  Incorporating six twenty-something “strangers” picked (cast) to live in a house together in a popular US city.
The first season launched in New York City, followed by Los Angeles, but it was the the third season, in San Fransisco, where the show found its voice.
I was fixated on the Puck vs. Pedro conflict; not out yet myself––I was mesmerized by the courage and conviction that Pedro Zamora embodied.
Pedro was the voice of a new generation and network executives realized that they could make just as much money with a fraction of the budget.
The landscape of reality television evolved over the years and continued to exploit willing fame-seekers to whore themselves out on television (I’m still willing to be one of them).
Alas, I’ve finally reached my limit.
The turning point for me was when a New Jersey housewife turned inmate allowed cameras to document her downfall and hopeful rise back to fame.
The reality is that nobody really lives that reality––unless they’re a reality star.
I’m ready for a little truth in my life, in the form of Big Little Secrets.
Bye bye Bravolebrities.

Feet Up...

I’m celebrating the completion of my second manuscript by:
binging Netflix,
eating popcorn,
cuddling my puppies,
and ignoring emails.
Sometimes the creative process deserves a break.

Creative; Present

The path to living in the present requires letting go of the past.
Yesterday I finished my second book, which forced me to spend a lot of time recalling events from my past, so it became very hard for me to return to the present while working.
Fortunately, I finished the first draft of my new manuscript, Is It Safe To Come Out? and I’m ready to return to the present.
Decidedly, I’m going to refocus my creative path––and seek a project that requires a focused awareness in the Now.

Truth on Tour:

There isn’t enough Starbucks coffee or Advil in the world that can prepare me for my day.

Long Day; Deep Breaths

I breathe in and I breathe out;

The day is long—I won't freak out!

Cheesy poems help my mood;

That and a lot of coffee!

The Good With the Bad

On hold;
I sit annoyed, waiting for a human.
While waiting for contact with life,
My computer reminds me that it’s time to check in for my flight.
It’s a friendly reminder alert that reminds me: technological advancements can be frustrating... but sometimes they can save you from a middle seat on Southwest.

Creative Free Flow

The creative journey is the purpose;
Not the outcome of the project.
It’s impossible to force a dream into reality.
That doesn’t mean to stop dreaming;
It means to keep dreaming, creating, evolving––eventually that energy will guide me to a new opportunity.
The only path I need be concerned with,
Is the path I’m on now.

Work In Progress: Being Present

I catch myself staring off into space;
How can I be more present?
Following the instructions (which I’ve combined from several self-discovery books I’ve picked along my journey), I take a deep breathe and remind myself that just acknowledging the fact that I wasn’t present––returns me to the present.
Feeling a sense of relief, I smile––I am present.
Then, I return to the thought that had me staring off into space.
Being present is a work in progress...

Sway Where The Wind Blows

The raging wind outside my window mirrors the storm inside my soul;
Eager to stir up new energy and carry away old, dried, leaves.
A season of fresh perspective and clear mind.

Truth on Tour:

Waking up at 5AM is never easy;
No matter how much sleep you get the night before,
Or how much caffeine you drink at 5:05AM.

Light Brings Clarity

In a dark room, switch on the light and you can see.
In a dark moment, seek out the light and you will see;
It’s that simple.

God and The 405

The last place I’d expect to connect with God is on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles.
Yet there among the texting, traffic, and road rage I felt His Presence.
As I was driving north in the middle lane just right of the “fast lane” with Jeff in the passenger seat––after a long day of errands––a women in the lane to my right wasn’t paying attention and began to change lanes.
She was an inch away from the right side of our car when I swerved slightly to my left to avoid getting hit; there wasn’t even enough time to honk my horn to warn her.
Before I knew it, our car was spinning out of control.
In that moment, I was completely calm.  I continued to turn my steering wheel into each turn (thanks dad for the overbearing and relentless driving lessons over the summer I turned 15) and I maintained visual contact with the road.
I scanned the road––which to our blessed fortune was suddenly completely clear––and I managed to correct our vehicle back into the lane I was previously driving in.
I was aware and focused the entire time.  Although I was prepared to hear a monstrous crashing sound and expected to wake up in the hospital, Jeff and I escaped the incident without hurting ourselves or anyone else.
I credit the self-discovery books, prayer, and meditation for my ability to stay mindful and present in that moment.
I thank God for guiding us to safety.
It was the perfect reminder that my path is not controlled by me; but how I react to the journey is.

Remember:

Complaining does not change the circumstance for the better;

Positive energy replaces the negative thought process and provides a clear perspective for action! 

LENTing Go

Through sacrifice we find light;
As I child I gave up chocolate, toys, and (tried to give up) homework for Lent.
Unaware of the purpose and starving for junk food until Easter, this time was nothing more than something I did because I was told I had to.
As an adult, I observe through letting go by choice.
Not because a church or religion tells me to, but because it’s the perfect opportunity to deepen my connection with God; Enlightenment.