Becoming Me.

There is nothing greater than a perfect moment of clarity.

Everything in my life syncs seamlessly with the Universe-

A flash of warmth surrounds my body,

I'm calm and more alive than ever all at the same time.

I look in the mirror and stare at my reflection like I have a million times before

throughout my life;

This time I saw something new.

I recognized the change,

and laughed at the irony.

I spent so long fighting, even after I stopped hiding-

But now the time is right.

It makes perfect sense- I am becoming who I'm truly meant to be.

Now the real fun begins!

Goodbye 32. Hello 33.

I will be thirty three in less than two weeks, and I've never been more proud of the growth that I've made in one year of my life. Not just on a professional level, but on a personal plane too.
Looking back on the past fifteen years of my life I'm finally able to recognize that my journey so far has been filled with amazing opportunities, adventures and unexpected blessings.
Very few people are an overnight success in any field, obviously the entertainment industry is no exception.
Achieving my goals in this business has proven tough, yet promising. I've spent my entire adult life, and most of my youth with one objective-
Though it has taken longer than I imagined it would while daydreaming in seventh grade History class, I can finally see the manifestation of my goals.
I have spent the past decade and a half on a journey bringing me a step closer to my realization every day.
When I turned thirty I decided that I had a new decade to conquer. A new opportunity to live a more balanced life. Rather than focusing on the things I hadn't yet accomplished on my check list- I decided to throw the check list out and try a new approach. One that involved using my past achievements and experience to my advantage.
Rather than continuing to fight for my chance to be pulled off the bench, I decided to quit the team and start my own.
This time around, I'd allow myself to trust MY game plan. Play by my rules. Most important, I'd stop trying so hard to be a halfback, when I was born to be a forward.
I had already accomplished so much in my life. Yet I still didn't feel like I'd lived up to my true potential. So what did I have to lose?
I remembered that fifteen year old boy who was fearless. I knew that he was still somewhere inside me... Dying, because I had allowed myself to buy in to the idea that I should be worried.
The instant that I released EVERY insecurity and removed all doubt, the path was revealed.
A thought occurred to me- stop waiting for others to help. Get out there and ask for what you want! Don't worry about what they'll think of you or if they say no.
If they're in a position that can really help, they most likely got there the same way.
Anyone who has ever accomplished greatness in their life, did so because they took action instead of succumbing to fear.
Sure enough, the past two years have lead to tremendous growth for me as an artist and human.
I feel like I'm living a life beyond the dreams I had as a kid.
I always thought I was living "in the moment." Until I woke up from my daydream and began to experience the greatness in my life while it was happening.
I truly understand the wisdom in the following quote which was shared with me along time ago by an important person in my life:

"I have seperated with no thought of going back. I know something special is happening, I think my wings are unfolding. But I cannot yet see that I am flying."

- Soul Stories by Gary Zukav

I look forward to soaring in my thirty-third year of life!

Overachiever

My mind is racing-
I'm unable to unplug.
Focusing on a million things at once.
Ridiculous, I know how it ends-
It always works out.
Close your eyes,
Take a deep breath,
Release it.
Leave something for tomorrow,
and enjoy the rest of today...
Tomorrow may or may not arrive!

Exploitation At It's Finest... Toddlers & Tiaras The Parody

Glitter, rhinestones, pageant gowns and a flipper...

I'm pleased to present the latest project from A Group Production:

Toddlers & Tiaras The Parody

The Fifty Yard Dash!

I woke up feeling a little sad and overwhelmed.

Adamant about not spending my entire day in a funk,

I started writing in my journal.

It's a daily battle for me to remember that life is not a race-

Although, sometimes I think I would accomplish twice as much if I carried

around a stopwatch and a whistle!

Bound To Stand Out!

I've been an avid journal writer since I realized during my senior year of high school that unlike people- journals don't talk back!
You can write your deepest fears, share your greatest dreams and talk about whoever you want, and your journal continues to offer unconditional support in the form of a blank page.
Because I'm a creature of habit and suffer from my own self diagnosed OCD in addition to my slight need for perfection, I have used the same black hardcover bound sketch books as my journal for the past ten (or more) years.
My close friends and family know how much I love to write, and because of this, I'm showered with beautiful journals for Christmas, birthdays and special occasions.
As much as I love the sentiment, it strikes me as odd that while people realize that I love a journal, it never occurred to them that I'm always writing in the same black books.
So I have a box full of beautiful leather bound journals in lavish colors. Some are embossed with encouraging quotes. Others have gold lined pages. All of them sit empty, sad that I share my dreams with the same black book day after day. Month after month. Year after year.
Today marks a frighting new day for me...
Call it a whim or call it what it is- I haven't been able to get to the art supply store where I buy my black sketch books, and I've been journal-less for the better part of two weeks.
Desperate to write and create, I decided to go for it!
I picked a cool distressed brown leather journal with gold lined pages that was given to me as a birthday present over four years ago.
I spent all of last year pushing myself to be more adventurous and allow my inner light to shine- and it paid off in amazing ways!
Then it dawned on me: I'm spending so much time and energy fighting to be nothing but Me! I'm working to share all of my special qualities and talents that separate me from everyone else-
But I can't even share my deepest feelings and creativity in anything other than a plain black book, that sits on a shelf along side all of the other boring black books filled with my wildest dreams and thoughts?
How sad.
Here I am striving to be comfortable allowing myself to shine everyday... And I keep my creative thoughts stacked up on a bookshelf in a military like uniformity?!?
So, as difficult as it is for me to break tradition, I'm proud that I just wrote ten pages in my beautiful brown leather journal!
Once this journal is full, it will sit on that bookshelf in line with all the black journals that came before it, and every time I glance over and see it, I will remember that April 8, 2011 was when I fully realized that some things are just born to stand out! So I should stop fighting so hard to fall in line!

That's A Wrap!

Just wrapped another parody!

This time we tackled the world of glitz, glamor and glitter that is Toddlers & Tiaras!

It might be the most disturbing and intoxicating show on television.

I'm fascinated that parents will go to such extreme lengths to expose their three year old for a minute of stage time!

But since they do- we might as well exploit the exploitation!

Stage moms. Gay dads. Diva toddlers.

I'm pretty sure we covered every stereotype!

It was such a blast working with my talented friends!

Just another reminder of how lucky I am that I get to wake up each day and do what I love...

I can't wait until we've finished editing the footage!

It's going to be a blast!

Focused

Focused.

Working hard to produce results.

Creativity is flowing.

Positive energy and action.

Excited for new adventures.

Definite goals in sight-

Open to new opportunities too!

The journey is the main goal.

Faith that I will end up where I'm meant to.

Zen Beach Day

Once in a while I have to allow myself to take a break from the self-inflicted nonstop hustle.

It's very easy in Los Angeles to slip through the cracks...

Or worse, stand by and watch as the life you were meant to have is realized by someone else, while you're out playing in the sun.

When I started out on my own, I spent every ounce of time focused on my career. I had fun, however, I never truly allowed myself to let go and enjoy the adventures that life has to offer. As I got a little older, and more years of professional experience under my belt, I was more comfortable with the idea that not every day had to be work, work, work.
Then, when my Gramps died, I decided to re-prioritize my life. I know that I can live a full life in the short amount of time we have. I know that balance is the key ingredient for a life well lived.
I believe there is a time for work and a time for play. I'm proud that I've been able to apply that idea for the past two years with amazing success.
Last night, after a beautiful day at the beach, I started to give into the fear, doubt and insecurity that tells us that we can't enjoy a day off. I started to wonder if I was doing enough for my career. I began to panic.
Instead of continuing down that path of dark thoughts, I picked up my iPhone and watched the 30 second video I shot with my friends at the beach early that day...
Instantly I was calm. I remembered I have a great life, that I cannot take for granted.

My Zen Beach Day: