A day of clarity;
No fears, doubts, or judgements.
Pure bliss in the moment.
Grateful for what I have, had, and will have––but present.
Connected to God and The Universe;
Breathing in light and exhaling love and joy.
A fleeting glimpse of enlightenment;
It’s enough to carry me through the week.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
OSCAR® Present
I spent the past weekend sharing my knowledge and inspiration with a group of young artists who seek to manifest their passion for performing into a career.
I was forced to push myself beyond my negative energy and (thankfully) rare unhappy emotions.
Even while I was leading a creative exercise or teaching a room full of dancers a piece of choreography, I found myself fighting the voices in my head.
I was constantly questioning my path. Trying to decide if I still desired to pursue my own career as a performer. I’ve been traveling on this road for almost twenty years––and I’ve arrived at many brilliant destinations along the way––but I still have so many sights I’d like to see.
Do I still have the drive in me?
I was thankful that I was aware of my thoughts––and did my best to acknowledge them and return to the present.
Ultimately, I found my way back most of the time.
After a short flight from Seattle to Los Angeles, I got home and turned on the Oscars® telecast that I had set on my DVR.
Within the first three minutes of the recording, I had my answer.
Yes; I still very much want to work in this industry.
And how lucky am I that I have a job that allows me to grow as an artist, while working with future artists?
I was overcome with a sense of calm, joy, and tears of encouragement;
The only place where my dream is alive is in the present––nothing else matters.
I was forced to push myself beyond my negative energy and (thankfully) rare unhappy emotions.
Even while I was leading a creative exercise or teaching a room full of dancers a piece of choreography, I found myself fighting the voices in my head.
I was constantly questioning my path. Trying to decide if I still desired to pursue my own career as a performer. I’ve been traveling on this road for almost twenty years––and I’ve arrived at many brilliant destinations along the way––but I still have so many sights I’d like to see.
Do I still have the drive in me?
I was thankful that I was aware of my thoughts––and did my best to acknowledge them and return to the present.
Ultimately, I found my way back most of the time.
After a short flight from Seattle to Los Angeles, I got home and turned on the Oscars® telecast that I had set on my DVR.
Within the first three minutes of the recording, I had my answer.
Yes; I still very much want to work in this industry.
And how lucky am I that I have a job that allows me to grow as an artist, while working with future artists?
I was overcome with a sense of calm, joy, and tears of encouragement;
The only place where my dream is alive is in the present––nothing else matters.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
20 Year Friendship
Not all friendships are a two-way street.
Similarly, not all bonds last forever.
I’m grateful that this is not the case with my friend Tracie.
Tracie is a fellow choreographer whom I met in my early twenties in New York City.
An instant connection was formed and has blossomed into a deep meaningful relationship.
Motivated by laughter, creativity, respect, support, admiration, inspiration, honesty, and much, much more.
I realized very quickly––especially in the entertainment industry––that very few people will continue to be excited for you as your career develops. Even more challenging to find, is a friend who champions for you in every endeavor you embark on.
One of the best aspects of our friendship happens when we’re not speaking;
No matter how much time has passed or how long it’s been since the last time we saw one another––with one look we are instantly on the same page.
After nearly twenty years, Tracie has long departed the “friend” category––I consider her family.
My grandma always used to say, “Make new friends, but keep the old. New ones are silver, the gold ones are gold.”
I completely understand that now.
I feel so fortunate to have a friend who I can work with, laugh with, create with, and yes, cry with––we’ve cried over many lost jobs and boys––and through all of life’s ups and downs we have always been there for each other.
The fact that I still get to work with her, that is #Extra.
Similarly, not all bonds last forever.
I’m grateful that this is not the case with my friend Tracie.
Tracie is a fellow choreographer whom I met in my early twenties in New York City.
An instant connection was formed and has blossomed into a deep meaningful relationship.
Motivated by laughter, creativity, respect, support, admiration, inspiration, honesty, and much, much more.
I realized very quickly––especially in the entertainment industry––that very few people will continue to be excited for you as your career develops. Even more challenging to find, is a friend who champions for you in every endeavor you embark on.
One of the best aspects of our friendship happens when we’re not speaking;
No matter how much time has passed or how long it’s been since the last time we saw one another––with one look we are instantly on the same page.
After nearly twenty years, Tracie has long departed the “friend” category––I consider her family.
My grandma always used to say, “Make new friends, but keep the old. New ones are silver, the gold ones are gold.”
I completely understand that now.
I feel so fortunate to have a friend who I can work with, laugh with, create with, and yes, cry with––we’ve cried over many lost jobs and boys––and through all of life’s ups and downs we have always been there for each other.
The fact that I still get to work with her, that is #Extra.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Wake Up; The Glamorous Life
With my eyes still closed I hit the snooze button on my iPhone and reach for the lamp on the bedside table to the left of me;
I turn the light on and let the bright energy filter through my eyelids.
Knowing that my alarm will go off again in fifteen minutes;
I feel it’s safe to rise like one of those lizards sitting on a rock in the Galapagos Islands that I’ve seen on Planet Earth.
This is the unglamorous part of living life on the road;
Still, I’m so grateful I make a living doing what I love––I just wish what I love started a little later in the day.
I turn the light on and let the bright energy filter through my eyelids.
Knowing that my alarm will go off again in fifteen minutes;
I feel it’s safe to rise like one of those lizards sitting on a rock in the Galapagos Islands that I’ve seen on Planet Earth.
This is the unglamorous part of living life on the road;
Still, I’m so grateful I make a living doing what I love––I just wish what I love started a little later in the day.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Running Late
The stress of waiting for my Lyft driver is off the charts;
Completely undoing the yoga I just did.
The glamorous life on the road!
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Do What You Can, Now...
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably always focused on what’s next.
As an artist I’m always aware that every job while eventually come to an end––and thus, I’m constantly on the look out for another opportunity.
This year I’m giving myself the permission to sit in the unknown and focus only on the task in front of me; which has been terrifying.
Learning to be present requires absolute trust;
However, if I can master living in the moment––focusing only on what’s in front of me NOW––I imagine I will find peace, grow creatively, and experience more brilliant opportunities on the journey ahead; wherever the path leads.
As an artist I’m always aware that every job while eventually come to an end––and thus, I’m constantly on the look out for another opportunity.
This year I’m giving myself the permission to sit in the unknown and focus only on the task in front of me; which has been terrifying.
Learning to be present requires absolute trust;
However, if I can master living in the moment––focusing only on what’s in front of me NOW––I imagine I will find peace, grow creatively, and experience more brilliant opportunities on the journey ahead; wherever the path leads.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Blank Page
I have one essay left before my second manuscript is finished.
For the past year I’ve poured 90% of my creative energy into this book;
And with only one chapter left I find myself stuck.
It’s the most challenging story to share––which is why I continued to put it off––but now it’s time to dig deep and get it done.
A collection of nonfiction essays that explore my artistic journey and coming to terms with my identity on my quest for the “perfect” career.
This journey has lead me to discover new depths to my personality, creativity, and ability to communicate as a storyteller and human.
I’m excited to share my work... but first I have to finish it!
With that.. it’s time to face the blank page.
For the past year I’ve poured 90% of my creative energy into this book;
And with only one chapter left I find myself stuck.
It’s the most challenging story to share––which is why I continued to put it off––but now it’s time to dig deep and get it done.
A collection of nonfiction essays that explore my artistic journey and coming to terms with my identity on my quest for the “perfect” career.
This journey has lead me to discover new depths to my personality, creativity, and ability to communicate as a storyteller and human.
I’m excited to share my work... but first I have to finish it!
With that.. it’s time to face the blank page.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Present Thoughts
The negativity that tries to rule my mind is instantly zapped when I take positive action.
The most useful tool for achieving my goals has been letting go of expectation and accepting the opportunity that exists in front of me.
Sometimes all we have is hope; and that is enough for me to get through today.
The most useful tool for achieving my goals has been letting go of expectation and accepting the opportunity that exists in front of me.
Sometimes all we have is hope; and that is enough for me to get through today.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Boarding
When boarding an airplane it's important to remember these simple rules:
Never board with your boarding group;
Make sure to have more than 2 carry on's;
Use as many overhead compartments as possible;
Block the aisles,
Talk really loud on your cell phone;
And no matter what, never listen to the flight attendant.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Travel Sniffles
What do you get when you fly to a different city every weekend?
A lot of frequent flyer miles... Yes.
The opportunity to connect and immerse yourself in different cultures and traditions... Yes.
Ten pounds heavier from eating too much junk food and not enough gym time...Yes.
But the worst... the constant dripping nose that can only come from spending your life in hotel rooms where people share their nasty germs.
A lot of frequent flyer miles... Yes.
The opportunity to connect and immerse yourself in different cultures and traditions... Yes.
Ten pounds heavier from eating too much junk food and not enough gym time...Yes.
But the worst... the constant dripping nose that can only come from spending your life in hotel rooms where people share their nasty germs.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Hotel Bed
Soft in the firm areas;
Firm where I crave softness—you were not my friend last night.
My lack of sleep thanks you for the challenge you set forth for me;
Today I have to be perky and professional, even though you failed at your job:
To send me to Dreamville.
Tonight, I will fall asleep on the couch, and stare at you with dissatisfaction.
Friday, February 17, 2017
Travel Day!
The alarm rings at 5AM;
I don’t want to get out of my warm bed.
I faux excitent and remind myself how much I love my job;
Perhaps not every aspect of it––but this is part of the territory.
When I was twenty, traveling around the world for work seemed glamorous;
Now, it’s just a really long commute.
No one likes sitting in traffic but I sure love that I make a living doing what I love.
I don’t want to get out of my warm bed.
I faux excitent and remind myself how much I love my job;
Perhaps not every aspect of it––but this is part of the territory.
When I was twenty, traveling around the world for work seemed glamorous;
Now, it’s just a really long commute.
No one likes sitting in traffic but I sure love that I make a living doing what I love.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Hearing Peace
In the stillness I heard:
Birds chirping, an airplane flying high above, construction on the house next door, a gardener’s leaf blower, and a baby crying.
I went deeper into my meditation; quieted my thoughts and heard peace. I didn’t know you could actually hear peace––yet in the silence––there it was.
Birds chirping, an airplane flying high above, construction on the house next door, a gardener’s leaf blower, and a baby crying.
I went deeper into my meditation; quieted my thoughts and heard peace. I didn’t know you could actually hear peace––yet in the silence––there it was.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Rest Assured
Four days of nonstop work;
An average of five hours of sleep each night;
A tickle in the back of my throat which suggests my immune system is weak.
I’m prescribing a day of couch cuddling and movie watching.
A system recharge is in order!
An average of five hours of sleep each night;
A tickle in the back of my throat which suggests my immune system is weak.
I’m prescribing a day of couch cuddling and movie watching.
A system recharge is in order!
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Valentine's Day Love
It is upon us;
The day women (and some men) everywhere set themselves up for disappointment.
Expectations of lavish gifts, expensive dinners, and unconditional love.
I never grew up thinking much of this holiday.
Yes, I enjoyed elementary school Valentine’s Day card exchanges and of course the candy, but should you feel loved, appreciated, valued, and spoiled every day?
There is one exception. My grandma––who passed away three years ago––would always go out of her way to send my sister and me a Valentine’s Day care package from Colorado.
The box would arrive a few days before February 14th and we’d eagerly wait to tear in to the box where we would find stuffed animals, school supplies, and candy. As we got older the boxes turned into cards with cash inside!
When I returned home from work last night, there was a package from my sister waiting for me in the mailbox.
Keeping tradition, I opened the package this morning and burst into tears.
My sister found a Valentine’s Day card that my grandma must have missed place at some point during my childhood. The card was clearly meant for me––it had a picture of a young man dancing––(my gram went out of her way to support my passion for dance) and it said, “For You Grandson.”
Even from heaven my grandma is sending me love.
I realized today how much I miss her and though I think about her every day, it was nice to receive some Valentine’s love from someone so special in my life.
That’s when I realized my single friends aren't crazy––they’re just longing to find someone who cares about them enough to shower them with extra love on a day that we all agree was made up to sell products.
Besides, who doesn’t love overpriced chocolate and flowers once in awhile?
The day women (and some men) everywhere set themselves up for disappointment.
Expectations of lavish gifts, expensive dinners, and unconditional love.
I never grew up thinking much of this holiday.
Yes, I enjoyed elementary school Valentine’s Day card exchanges and of course the candy, but should you feel loved, appreciated, valued, and spoiled every day?
There is one exception. My grandma––who passed away three years ago––would always go out of her way to send my sister and me a Valentine’s Day care package from Colorado.
The box would arrive a few days before February 14th and we’d eagerly wait to tear in to the box where we would find stuffed animals, school supplies, and candy. As we got older the boxes turned into cards with cash inside!
When I returned home from work last night, there was a package from my sister waiting for me in the mailbox.
Keeping tradition, I opened the package this morning and burst into tears.
My sister found a Valentine’s Day card that my grandma must have missed place at some point during my childhood. The card was clearly meant for me––it had a picture of a young man dancing––(my gram went out of her way to support my passion for dance) and it said, “For You Grandson.”
Even from heaven my grandma is sending me love.
I realized today how much I miss her and though I think about her every day, it was nice to receive some Valentine’s love from someone so special in my life.
That’s when I realized my single friends aren't crazy––they’re just longing to find someone who cares about them enough to shower them with extra love on a day that we all agree was made up to sell products.
Besides, who doesn’t love overpriced chocolate and flowers once in awhile?
Monday, February 13, 2017
Back To LA
Another creative adventure is finished;
A fast and furious collaboration that will produce another year of artistic growth.
I’m grateful know and work with so many talented creatures;
Now back to LA, where creativity is often overshadowed by fame.
A fast and furious collaboration that will produce another year of artistic growth.
I’m grateful know and work with so many talented creatures;
Now back to LA, where creativity is often overshadowed by fame.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
The Show Must Go On
Three days with only four hours of sleep between the darkness and the light;
Still, the dancers remain focused and energetic.
Their positive energy and creativity will sustain me today.
I am so blessed that I have the opportunity to collaborate with so many talented artists; using my passion to inspire.
I have followed my dreams since I was nine-years-old;
I continue to earn a living doing what I love.
Still, the dancers remain focused and energetic.
Their positive energy and creativity will sustain me today.
I am so blessed that I have the opportunity to collaborate with so many talented artists; using my passion to inspire.
I have followed my dreams since I was nine-years-old;
I continue to earn a living doing what I love.
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Tech Day
Calltime: 7AM;
Coffee line: 6:30AM
Hours of sleep last night: 4
Hours of time in the theater today: 12
...and people think that dancers have a glamorous life;
Following your passion requires: work, discipline, and a lot of caffeine.
Coffee line: 6:30AM
Hours of sleep last night: 4
Hours of time in the theater today: 12
...and people think that dancers have a glamorous life;
Following your passion requires: work, discipline, and a lot of caffeine.
Friday, February 10, 2017
Gabfest
What happens when you stick three outgoing choreographers in a room together with a bottle of wine?
I gabfest of epic proportions takes place.
Last night––after a five hour travel day, two master classes, and three hours of solo rehearsals––I laughed my ass off with two colleagues.
It’s refreshing to be in a room with likeminded, über talented artists who have heart and soul where an ego might be...
Just another reminder to constantly seek and surround yourself with positive creative energy!
I gabfest of epic proportions takes place.
Last night––after a five hour travel day, two master classes, and three hours of solo rehearsals––I laughed my ass off with two colleagues.
It’s refreshing to be in a room with likeminded, über talented artists who have heart and soul where an ego might be...
Just another reminder to constantly seek and surround yourself with positive creative energy!
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Travel Day
I made it through TSA in under two minutes;
The Burbank airport is a gem!
I stood in line for twenty minutes for coffee,
It's a small price to pay to avoid the drama at LAX.
I love my job, but like most people, I resent my commute; 3,200 miles is a long way to travel to choreograph.
#TheGlamorousLife
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Squeaky Toy
I always know where my little Shih Tzu is at;
The sharp sound of a plastic heart being ripped from yet another stuffed animal betrays her every time.
The sharp sound of a plastic heart being ripped from yet another stuffed animal betrays her every time.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Breathe and Grow
I’m currently reading three books;
All in the realm of self-discovery and Faith, and each of them is pointing to the same thing: becoming present.
Everywhere I look I see signs reminding me of the same objective.
The universe, God, and my intuition are all in agreement that I need to concentrate on the present.
I’ve spent the past twenty years of my life seeking to work as much as possible;
Do more! Has always been my motto.
I believe we each have a path and my faith tells me that I will be where I need to be, when I’m meant to be there. Yet, I continue to question and challenge if I’m doing enough.
Worse, I see myself getting trapped in the addictive cycle of wanting more––instead of enjoying what I have in the moment.
I set out for surrender this year and I found it very quickly;
Sadly, it scared me.
Today, I realized that I need this calm, peaceful, mindful time to grow.
If I can understand and accept how to find the same gratitude and joy from stillness––imagine how brilliant and balanced my life will be.
I told myself that surrendering would be a challenge and it certainly has been.
The beauty is that I’m learning that I can thrive creatively and accomplish things in the calm, too.
Learning I don’t always have to go, go, go; it’s okay to breathe––and grow, grow, grow.
All in the realm of self-discovery and Faith, and each of them is pointing to the same thing: becoming present.
Everywhere I look I see signs reminding me of the same objective.
The universe, God, and my intuition are all in agreement that I need to concentrate on the present.
I’ve spent the past twenty years of my life seeking to work as much as possible;
Do more! Has always been my motto.
I believe we each have a path and my faith tells me that I will be where I need to be, when I’m meant to be there. Yet, I continue to question and challenge if I’m doing enough.
Worse, I see myself getting trapped in the addictive cycle of wanting more––instead of enjoying what I have in the moment.
I set out for surrender this year and I found it very quickly;
Sadly, it scared me.
Today, I realized that I need this calm, peaceful, mindful time to grow.
If I can understand and accept how to find the same gratitude and joy from stillness––imagine how brilliant and balanced my life will be.
I told myself that surrendering would be a challenge and it certainly has been.
The beauty is that I’m learning that I can thrive creatively and accomplish things in the calm, too.
Learning I don’t always have to go, go, go; it’s okay to breathe––and grow, grow, grow.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Another Day of Rain in LA
The sound of rain is becoming a normal occurrence.
In a town full of smoke and mirrors, where movie studio backlots create rain from a water hose attached to a sprinkler, where fortunate for the moisture.
We’ve been in a drought longer than Oprah has been on a diet.
So, I think the rain is a good thing?
But I miss the blue skies and sunshine;
I guess I’ll have to watch a movie for that today, which makes sense, because it will no doubt have been produced on the same backlot that we normal make it rain.
In a town full of smoke and mirrors, where movie studio backlots create rain from a water hose attached to a sprinkler, where fortunate for the moisture.
We’ve been in a drought longer than Oprah has been on a diet.
So, I think the rain is a good thing?
But I miss the blue skies and sunshine;
I guess I’ll have to watch a movie for that today, which makes sense, because it will no doubt have been produced on the same backlot that we normal make it rain.
Sunday, February 5, 2017
God Bless America; and Lady Gaga
The Super Bowl is an American tradition;
Where a bunch of sweaty jocks fight for pigskin.
...and they call me gay.
Still, I gather around the screen––mainly because a bunch of sweaty jocks pile on top one another;
But also for the commercials.
And this year the star of the show was Lady Gaga,
Who managed to unite the country through a spectacular performance, subtly planting seeds of education, acceptance, and equality––without coming across like she had an agenda.
God Bless America, and Lady Gaga;
Inspiring through art instead of fear!
Where a bunch of sweaty jocks fight for pigskin.
...and they call me gay.
Still, I gather around the screen––mainly because a bunch of sweaty jocks pile on top one another;
But also for the commercials.
And this year the star of the show was Lady Gaga,
Who managed to unite the country through a spectacular performance, subtly planting seeds of education, acceptance, and equality––without coming across like she had an agenda.
God Bless America, and Lady Gaga;
Inspiring through art instead of fear!
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Never Question Creativity...
The how and when are not important.
If the creative energy is focused and invested;
The return will follow.
Dedicated to the present moment;
Manifesting inspiration rather than waiting for it.
Creativity requires nothing more than the discipline to take action.
Harnessed energy seeking the opportunity to share a story;
Whether written, filmed, choreographed, performed, or painted––
The cultivation of art, expression, and emotion will always lead to a new adventure.
If the creative energy is focused and invested;
The return will follow.
Dedicated to the present moment;
Manifesting inspiration rather than waiting for it.
Creativity requires nothing more than the discipline to take action.
Harnessed energy seeking the opportunity to share a story;
Whether written, filmed, choreographed, performed, or painted––
The cultivation of art, expression, and emotion will always lead to a new adventure.
Friday, February 3, 2017
Ode to SunChips
A chip by any other name would not carry that same bright, whole grain saltiness.
A delightful memory from middle school, the heart healthy (or so the bag claims) snack that gave me the courage to face fourth period.
Don’t get me wrong, Doritos will always have a special place in my soul;
But SunChips have no artificial flavors or preservatives, so my gut can be happy without the guilty feelings...
A delightful memory from middle school, the heart healthy (or so the bag claims) snack that gave me the courage to face fourth period.
Don’t get me wrong, Doritos will always have a special place in my soul;
But SunChips have no artificial flavors or preservatives, so my gut can be happy without the guilty feelings...
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Spa Day
Tired, weak, and bruised.
You thought I was talking about my ego, didn’t you?
My body is in pain––after three weeks of choreography––I remember why I take a break in the fall.
I’m back in action working with dancers across the country, which I love, but my muscles need to be rubbed.
I’m off to the day spa, I know it sounds glamorous––and it is––but I also consider it an “on the job” necessity.
Hot tub, sauna, steam, and massage. Repeat every two weeks.
You thought I was talking about my ego, didn’t you?
My body is in pain––after three weeks of choreography––I remember why I take a break in the fall.
I’m back in action working with dancers across the country, which I love, but my muscles need to be rubbed.
I’m off to the day spa, I know it sounds glamorous––and it is––but I also consider it an “on the job” necessity.
Hot tub, sauna, steam, and massage. Repeat every two weeks.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Human. Surrender.
Learning to forgive myself is a work in progress;
I forgot my blog post yesterday.
After seven years of writing and posting a daily blog, you'd think it would be an established habit.
Once again I'm reminded of two things:
I am human, thus I am not perfect.
And, surrender takes time.
I was "off my game" all day yesterday, and perhaps if I would have allowed myself a moment to breathe, I would have recognized that I did not express myself creativity––via my blog––and I would have come back to the present.
Instead, I'm facing the reaction to the laps, and growing from it.
Releasing the pressure and moving forward.
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