The Big Apple; Day 1

Headed to the airport, it’s not the 5 hour flight that causes the pain, it’s losing 3 hours and heading straight into rehearsal.
This is something––in my 20′s––that used to feel glamorous; like I was living the dream!
Now, I just feel crumpled and achy, still...I’m living the dream.
I love New York City:
The bright lights, clash of cultures, collection of artists, and abundance of smelly street trash.  The energy is always vibrant.
It’s like a ripe, stinky cheese...delicious to the taste, but offensive of the plate.

Remember Your Worth

When I was in my youth I naturally walked tall; I stood with confidence and purpose:

Idealistic and flooded with passion.

I need more of the 20-year-old me.

Maybe not the acne and fear; but I could use a dose of idealistic, delusional bliss!

…it’s there when I breath, return to the present, and remember my value.

Sunday

I slept in and woke up in a panic thinking that I missed church, which would cause a chain reaction of doom:

Morning reading and creative journal writing;

Coffee and quality time with my family;

Yoga;

A trip to Target;

Pool time;

all would have to be scrapped!

I sat up in my bed, frustrated I grabbed my phone and realized it was only 8AM.

My next thought: Why am I up so early on a Sunday?!

Life is funny and perspective is EVERYTHING!

Just Say "No"!

To pancakes after yoga.

I mean, what’s the point of working your ass of in yoga if you’re just going to shove your face full of flour, butter, and sugar?

Then again, what’s the point of sweating your ass off in yoga if you can’t reward yourself with flour, butter, and sugar?

It’s a real Zen quandary.

I choose balance, on my leg and my diet.

God I Hope I Get It

I’m 40 years old and I still get to audition;

I used to think auditions were the worst part of a career in entertainment—and they can be dreadful—but what I’ve come to accept is that each audition provides an opportunity for me to explore a deeper aspect of my own personal journey.

Through the drama I find the joy; I connect to my inner passion; and I get to pretend to be someone else—even if it’s only for 2 minutes in a small casting closet with an assistant who hates their life…see, growth!

Six Word Essay On Friendship

Instant understanding regardless of time’s passage.

Full Plate

Waking up with purpose at 5AM;

I pour myself into athletic clothes and sleepily make my way to yoga.

Downward dog awakes me soul.

I’m prepared to tackle teaching 25 summer exchange students; jazz in a world of contemporary movement.

Endless errands—to prepare for me east coast tour—and then fun in the sun; I lounge by my pool.

Cozying up on the couch with takeout pasta and Netflix.

My life is blessed.

So Hollywood

Started with a Starbucks in Sherman Oaks;

Cruised over Mulholland Drived;

Dropped in on the Stars Walk of Fame;

Strutted along Sunset Strip;

Got downward in yoga;

Jumped into our pool;

Rolled into Beverley Hills;

Ate frozen Greek yogurt;

And are chilling out on our couch!

Begin Again.

New years, holidays, birthdays, or reaching major accomplishments are not the only time we can “start over.” The opportunity to renew is within our reach anytime we crave it;

Recognizing anger, fear, uncertainty, frustration, or insecurity is the first step in releasing the negativity.

Equally important is acknowledging and inviting joy, laughter, gratitude, hope, and Faith.

The “reset button” is easy to press, once you know where to locate it:

Close your eyes, make a mental note of the feeling—positive or negative—within you, and release it.

Congratulations, you are now ready to begin again.

Perspective:

The ability to stay calm, take a deep breath, and focus on what’s in front of you;
Only reacting to the circumstances once the picture is clear;
Releasing expectation to make room for realization: awareness.
Becoming enlightened through presence.

Bed Head

I woke up late,

Splashed water on my face,

Dressed in mismatched athletic clothing,

Jumped in the car and made my way to yoga.

Now, I’m staring at myself in the mirror thinking,

“1998 called, it wants its hair back!”

I feel like a long lost cast member of “Clueless.”

As if…

Anyway, who cares? After 5 minutes in Downward dog and I’ll be a hot, sweaty, mess!

Binge

Netflix, you beautiful streaming service;

Thank you for the endless hours of programming.

Your content is well written and superbly acted by former film stars; the perfect distraction from work, the news, and cleaning my house.

Torture:

Waiting for the airport Starbucks to open;

It’s 5AM and I need caffeine.

Okay, I’m aware that there is serious suffering in the world, but on two hours of sleep this is real to me.

It didn’t help that TSA Pre-Check wasn’t open either…salt in the wound.

That Oh Sh!t Moment

When you realize that you’ve waited to long to book a flight and now you have to pay double the amount...
Welcome to life on tour.

The Early Bird...

Is annoyingly joyful, obnoxiously loud, and wakes all of the other birds up;
They also get the worm first.

Starbucks; You Either "Get It" or You Don't

The noisy Starbucks packed with people of all walks of life is an addiction itself;
Add the consistently delicious corporate coffee––that might be slightly overpriced, but still less than you’d pay at an independent hipster coffee house––and the loyalty reward card, and I’m hooked for life.
Working, reading, writing, creating, collaborating, or just lounging in the FREE air conditioning (I spent the majority of my 20′s doing this in NYC), Starbucks is a way of life.

Release; A Reminder

If I let every little glitch get me down;
I’d be six feet under.
Releasing the negative shit is important.
It slowly creeps back in your life like an ex who is gorgeous but will cheat on you.
Cut the poison out!
There is no room for doubt;
Breathe, let go, be present.

Packed And Ready

My dogs are over suitcases.
They stare up at me as I pack my bags and make promises aloud.
“I won’t be gone long this time.”
But they know...
Just when I got back into the swing of things at home––with my family––I have to hit the road.
Again, I remind myself: This is the life you chose.
I take a deep breath, gather my cargo, and head off to Dallas.
#TheGlamorousLife

Goodbye

It never gets easier;
Especially when it’s family––and you’ve just had a wonderful visit.
Waving goodbye as mom and Steve drive away;
They’ll be back, I remind myself, and smile.
The house is quite, so I turn on music and start dancing.
I can’t wait to say, “Hello!”, again.

The Love Continues

16 years together;

5 legally, today!

Love is love:

Laughter, creativity, adventure, evolution (as people and artists), we continue to thrive!

Through darkness we find light;

In pain, we seek and provide comfort;

In anger we search for joy.

He is my partner in crime; my soulmate and my lifelong hero!

Happy Anniversary, Bug!

Ask And You Shall Receive

It can be overwhelming to approach someone when you need a favor or you are seeking clarity.

Powerful figures can be intimidating and (occasionally) their reputation can persuade you against confrontation or question.

Never shy away from asking for something: clarity, help, more money, an introduction; anything.

In general, people treat you how you present yourself; and will try to get away with whatever they can.

If you value yourself, stand up for yourself.

Letting Go; A Note To Self

I’ve never been afraid of change;
In fact, my entire career has manifested out of my ability to take risks, forcing myself into uncharted waters leaving behind everything comfortable, often before I was ready for the task at hand.
Without fear I would thrust myself into adventure in a far off city.
But ask me to let go of a negative conversation or interaction...and that’s a different story.
I replay the moment over and over again in my mind like a teenager listening to their favorite breakup song on repeat, creating an attachment to a moment that has passed.
This week, I’m focusing on letting go of the stories I rerun in my mind: they don’t serve me and prevent me from evolving.

Love

Self-acceptance;

Patience;

Kindness;

Generosity;

Forgiveness;

Knowledge;

Finding the strength to release what we think we know to make room for where we need to grow.

Fix It; Moving On

After six weeks of travel for vacation and work, I was delighted to return home.
I arrived yesterday to:
a dryer that doesn’t dry;
an ice maker that isn’t making ice;
a guest bathroom drain that isn’t draining;
a pool pump that is gushing water all over our backyard;
two dogs with fleas;
and a dirty house;
in addition to all of the drama at home, I picked up a head cold that won’t go away...
And my mom and her husband arrive for 6 days this afternoon!
I wanted to rage. I want to scream and be upset... “This was supposed to be a peaceful week off with my family!!!!”  Is what my brain is screaming.
Then, I picked up “A New Earth” and read a chapter.
I took a deep breath and put the drama––which the ego loves––into perspective:  this can all be fixed.
Like a diva Hollywood publicist I took action; going down the list of “things to fix” one at a time calling on my team of experts (thank God for a home warranty), and let it go.
Now, I’m off to yoga...because Life. Ya know?

Present

The ability to be present in this moment, now, is something that continues to elude me when I’m not constantly focused on my breath.

My autopilot kicks in and before I know it I’ve neglected the work that I’ve done and the knowledge that I’ve gained from years of meditation, reading, and practicing yoga.

Fortunately, the moment I become aware of this, I am once again present.

Here; now!

Ready for the adventure that life brings me today.

House Hunting

The process of entering into someone’s home:

How do they live like this?

Do they really think their home is worth that much money?

Why wouldn’t you light a candle if your home smells like an outhouse?

Were those tiles ever in style?

I’m shocked that someone would pay a million dollars for a shitbox; which reminds me that you are what you say you’re worth!

A Day In The Sun with Mom

Lounging by the pool with my mom;

No work, just sun.

Just like my childhood:

Laughing and scheming.

The best sidekick!

Life On The Road; Day 4 (July 4th)

Born into a privilege that is so often taken for granted; freedom.

The liberty and independence to live our dreams out loud.

Despite the fear and judgment that lies below the surface of some; we are ensured the right to individuality, prosperity, and opportunity.

As an artist, I exercise these rights with gratitude every day; I recognize that we are blessed.

Life On The Road; Day 3

The dry smoke filled convention center is killing me;

My head is stuffed and aching like it used to in my childhood, back when it was “okay” to smoke indoors.

Somehow Las Vegas didn’t get the memo;

I’ll spend the day in a haze.

Life On The Road; Day 2

The longest day is behind me;

Gathered with old friends and colleagues laughing, sharing battle wounds, and recalling the good old days.

I feel creative and positive; we have an opportunity—an obligation—to impart our experience with a new generation of performers.

My journey is constantly shifting; allowing me to evolve into the best artist and leader I can be.

I feel grateful.

Life On The Road; Day 1

I woke up early to stay on course with my creative habits.

Day 6 without meat, dairy, or alcohol—it’s not a permanent life-change—just a cleanse.

Clear mind and body for a focused and productive summer!

I’ve got big plans for 40!