Validation

One aspect of my morning ritual involves writing in my journal.
My journaling––born out of a need to hold myself accountable in high school––has developed into a habit over the last twenty years of my life.
At first, the journaling was a way to talk through things with myself before “putting them out there” to the universe.
An angry rant directed toward a friend, whom I really liked but felt betrayed by; my journal was a safe space to share.
Likewise, I was free to set goals, confess sins, and think. I did a lot of thinking, overanalyzing, reading, and of course, making lists.
In time, this freedom ushered a daily routine which has served me well.
Inspiring me to dream bigger, share bigger, and trust.
Looking back on any number of journal entries unlocks a memory from my past. No doubt a useful tool for a writer, I have called on these often dramatic transcripts to relive the agonizing pain or brilliant joy.
This morning I was working through my feelings and cataloging the hints of doubt about the past year.
“Did I do this or that enough...”
“Could I have pushed more here?”
“Have I been present?”
It only took me a few seconds to get back to the present. Simultaneously answering myself and feeling like maybe I have grown this year.
So far, this hasn’t been a year of huge outward strides; yet inside, I feel like I’ve grown more as a person and artist.  I’ve held myself accountable for being present and releasing the need to overachieve.
I’ve found more balance and somehow managed to create more rewarding job opportunities, too.
I finished my journal entry and headed to yoga class feeling reinvigorated and reminded that by remaining present I have an opportunity to prioritize goals, jobs, and my life, so that I can focus on positive action without fear.
After a blissful yoga class, I walked out of the yoga studio to a voice message from production; I booked a job choreographing a TV show next week.
I’m not saying that positive energy will always get you the job; but I’ve noticed that I seem to attract the emotion I put out into the world.  Today, I worked my way thought a negative thought pattern. The moment I was realigned with my perspective, I received validation.