Last night I panicked a little bit. I briefly lost track of “me” and gave in to the unrealistic drama in my mind. I allowed my ego to launch into a full-blown interrogation––similar to what you'd expect on a procedural crime show on NBC. I heard Mariska Hargitay’s voice challenging me, “Do you really think that you can continue on this path, Matthew?”
The tone in her voice was so judgmental and serious that it coaxed my soul and heart to conspire with my mind.
Then, a subtle light appeared out of the darkness, (thankfully) I saw my reflection in the one-sided mirror in the 10 x 10 holding room and snapped myself back into the present.
“Who cares what anyone else thinks about my journey?”
Now, my Criminal Mind character took over...
Please answer these questions, Matthew:
Do you still enjoy the journey that you’re on? “Yes.”
Do you still find pleasure in the creative process? “Yes.”
Above and beyond the basic essential needs (food, housing, clothing, health), have you consistently been able to provide a loving, solid, adventurous life filled with lavish dinners, decadent cultural explorations, laughter and learning for you and your loved ones? “Yes.”
Finally, is there any place you’d rather be; or anything else you’d rather be doing with your life at this point? “No.”
Then what is the issue? “There is no issue.”
Back to the present then to continue the expedition into love, laughter, culture, friendship, family, creativity, and evolution.
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