Human. Surrender.

Learning to forgive myself is a work in progress;

I forgot my blog post yesterday.

After seven years of writing and posting a daily blog, you'd think it would be an established habit.

Once again I'm reminded of two things:

I am human, thus I am not perfect.

And, surrender takes time.

I was "off my game" all day yesterday, and perhaps if I would have allowed myself a moment to breathe, I would have recognized that I did not express myself creativity––via my blog––and I would have come back to the present.

Instead, I'm facing the reaction to the laps, and growing from it.

Releasing the pressure and moving forward.

Okay, I Get It! Surrender...

My primary focus in life has been to evolve as a person and artist; every single day.
Seeking to learn more, serve more, and experience new opportunities and adventures that will elevate my purpose on earth.
Over time, I have discovered practical ways to stay present and achieve balance.
Last year was a time of abundant growth creativity and personally.
Hoping to continue to the momentum, I added another layer to my daily practice of seeking light, releasing negativity, and taking action; I decided to incorporate the action of “surrender.”
To my surprise, the first week of this year was extraordinarily more complicated.
In adding surrender, I somehow lost sight of the fact that I could still, seek light, take action, and be present.
Today, I woke up ready to refocus and remove the “new addition”, and go back to what worked in 2016.
As I turned to my morning reading––currently “The Power Of Now”––I opened my bookmark, and the chapter I turned to was: The Meaning Of Surrender.
Wow; okay, I get it.
God, The Universe, my instinct all said, “You need to learn how to surrender the correct way.”
I reread the chapter and remembered that Action and Surrender can coexist.
In fact, they are both necessary for growth.
Surrender does not mean that I should stop trying and accept that where I’m at is as good as it gets; it simply means trusting that through acceptance of what is, I can further work to seek positive action toward what I want.

Acceptance

The struggle to accept what is, while constantly trying to evolve what is––not.
When you’ve arrived at your destination with all of your bags fully prepared and it still isn’t enough;
There is a calm beauty in surrendering.
That is enlightenment.

I Saw The Sign...

I start each and every day with a morning ritual:
I pour a giant cup of coffee,
I sit down with whichever personal growth, spiritual, or  inspirational book that I’m reading at the time, and I allow myself the opportunity to learn––in the hopes of seeking insight and enlightenment.
Afterwards, I spend several minutes journaling––to review what I’ve read and release my emotions and thoughts.
Knowing that my primary theme for 2017 is, surrender––I thought these passages were a clear sign that I chose the ideal path for this year:
“All that arises passes away. This I know” ––Buddhist Monk

“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness.  ...things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for happiness now come with no struggle or effort on your part...” ––Eckhart Tolle

“’I trust in you Jesus.’ In response to whatever happens to you.” ––Psalm 63:2

Seasons

There is a time to plant the seed;
There is a time to water and nurture the seedling;
There is a time to sit back and watch the stalks grow tall;
There is a time to harvest the crop;
Everything has a season––I’m finally grasping the importance of step three; I plant and plant and plant and plan––yet I fail to watch my work grow.
It’s okay––it’s necessary––to step back, breathe, and appreciate the work.
It used to feel like I wasn’t accomplishing enough in those moments, that I should be doing more, but I understand how valuable rest is now.
From every valley and new mountain appears––I must give myself a fighting chance to make the climb.

Rain Delay in LA

When it rains in LA––which is very rare, but surprisingly more common this year––I make the most of it;
I give myself permission to blow off work, and curl up with my puppies next to the fireplace.  I dive into a great book until my eyes start to blur and then I relocate to the sofa and channel surf until I find the perfect movie to fall asleep to.
Today is the perfect way to ease myself into 2017 and my new resolution: surrender.
I’ve spent the larger part of my life overachieving, hustling, fighting, and engulfed with busy work––I’m really looking forward to a new approach.
The rain delay is here to stay, at least for a season.

Surrender

The holiday season ushers in the end of the year;
A time of gratitude, reflection, resolution, and faith.
I always start each year off with a theme or word to visualize and meditate on.
As I gather my thoughts for 2017 the word “surrender” continues to present itself; in conversation, while I’m reading, and during yoga.
Why is it so much easier to absorb ideas while lying in shavasana?
When the mind is still and the heart is content––when all that remains is breath,
I find my surrender.
Now, if only I could figure out how to incorporate the energy into my daily life––without obsessing over checklists, resolutions, and overachieving.
I need to surrender to my OCD, and just be.

Spa Day

Steam room,
Sauna,
Shower,
Salt scrub,
Deep tissue,
Steam room,
Sauna,
Hot tub,
Facial,
Pure relaxation detox;
After deep meditation and thoughtful consideration I’ve arrived at a fresh new outlook:
It’s time to surrender.

Surrender

At the end of a challenging work day––I encouraged myself to go to a yoga class last night;
The class was strenuous and pushed me past my breaking point.
I felt like giving up and walking out––but a voice inside continued to drive me through the pain, anguish, and physical weakness.
At the end of class––while lying in shavasana––I had a breakthrough.
As I melted into the floor, the word surrender entered my conscious;
I began crying uncontrollably.
I started to release the anger, fear, doubt, and frustration––and surrendered to the fact that the circumstances I was struggling with were out of my control.
Suddenly I was overcome with joy.
My tears of disappointed transitioned into tears of gratitude; enlightenment.
I’m finished with fighting;
I always thought I had to push myself past, through, on top of, etc.
The truth is: I just have to release.

Surrender

When you cannot change a circumstance,
You can always surrender to it.
Sometimes it makes more sense to release the need to control;
And completely let go.
Similar to that moment you’re on a roller coaster and you’re near the peak––the panic builds and you question, “Why did I get on this ride?”
All you can do is raise your hands, close your eyes, and scream like hell!
Once you surrender––the fear dissipates and the journey is once again fun.