Sunday, May 20, 2012

Is It Safe To Come Out?

I never intended to spend a large part of my life lying to the people I love the most-
I worked hard to keep a dark secret under wraps.
As I got older, it became harder for me to hide from myself;
I could not control my deepest thoughts and emotions.
I could no longer pretend to be someone I didn't recognize or respect.
When I released the fear and began living openly, I began to soar.
So when Instinct Magazine approached my partner Jeff and me to feature us in their April 2012 issues, I felt the most in incredible sense of pride.
It was a turning point for me- 
The article would openly acknowledge Jeff as my partner; 
both professionally with our company A Group Production and personally.
But before I could come out to the world in a magazine, it occurred to me that I was still hiding the secret from one of the closest people in my life.
Though my grandma has spent a lot of time with Jeff over the past ten years, our relationship status had never been defined or talked about. 
I know that she loves me unconditionally and Jeff too-
Yet I struggled with wether or not I should share with her one of my proudest accomplishment to date.
It would have been the first time in my life that I withheld a victory from her.
While I contemplated my dilemma, it occurred to me that this woman has shared her unconditional love and support my entire life. 
Why would this be any different?
So this week while I was at home visiting her, I decided to share our article.
As she began to read the first paragraph, a smile grew across her face-
"That's a wonderful story," were the first words out of her mouth! 
Followed quickly with a chuckle and, "...you make a pretty girl."
It was such a relief to get that validation from a woman that I love so much!
I am completely free, and not hiding anymore!

3 comments:

tomasnewsom said...

Love this story, it brought tears to my eyes. So sweet, thank you!

julied said...

Matt that is awesome. So proud of you and don't ever doubt yourself or who you are. Anybody that knows you also understands the big heart you have and the great petson you are. Be proud i know i am!! Love you son.

Matthew Shaffer said...

Thank you both! I'm happy that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed sharing...