Am I The Biggest Loser?

Tonight I sat in my bedroom and watched "The Biggest Loser" while eating Dove chocolates with a caramel center, strategically placed atop a milk chocolate covered graham cracker...  I cried like a little bitch. The funny thing is, I'm not sure if I was crying because of how inspiring the stories were, or that I was almost out of chocolate...
The thing is I could never imagine weighing 342 pounds... I hate that I weigh 160! I know I could do better. But that would mean giving up the small joys in life. Like going to Carney's on Sunset and ordering a chili cheese burger w/ grilled onions and an order of chili cheese fries. ...Maybe I could skip the ranch dressing that I bathe the cheese fries in? But then really, what's the point?

I guess the point is to live a longer, healthier, more beautiful life. In the same breath, what's the fun in living longer if you're always hungry and deprived of the tantalizing, sweet aroma of a large "Meatlovers" pizza with extra cheese, dipped in ranch dressing?

Okay, I admit that I follow a workout plan and I do try to eat junk food in moderation... I believe I could make more of an effort! Especially now that I'm almost 21... (I may be exaggerating a bit on my true age...) Nevertheless, I am a self confessed "foodie."   I'd love to say that I eat to live, but that would be a greater embellishment than my previously stated age.

So, my hats off to all of the contestants on their journey to getting fit. Not only do I admire your hard work, but I appreciate your sacrifice. I'd offer you some of my chocolates as a "special treat" ...but I just looked down, and the bag is empty!

Lame!

I can't help but think, what's up with the music industry? Though I have a feeling it started slowly several years ago... I first took notice a few months back while watching the MTV Music Awards...
But tonight, after watching the Tree Lighting at Rockefeller Center on NBC, it was abundantly clear that the Jonas Brothers suck!  How on earth do people enjoy hearing or watching them perform.  A.) They can't sing. B.) They're huge nerds... and not the cool kind!  C.) They are so lame- ass boring to watch... 

You have these amazing musical artist like; Tony Bennett, Beyonce, Harry Connick Jr. and (by far the best performance of the night...) David Cook performing his rendition of Happy Christmas by the great, late John Lennon.  Obviously the Jonas Brothers have a ton of fans. I just don't understand how and why?  

To add insult to injury, I changed the channel and found yet another music industry theme show... The Grammy Nomination Concert.  Okay first, GROSS! Do we REALLY need a televised musical show announcing the Grammy nominations before we see the EXACT SAME PERFORMANCES two months from now!?!?

What's worse? Having to hear Taylor Swift sing I'm Sorry... Believe me, I was!  Of course her voice is fine, and that's the problem.  She's just this safe, generic pretty blonde- Nothing special.  And therein lies the predicament.   Too many TV shows with the exact same formula...  they're tired, uninspired and predictable.  Just like all the new uber cheesy pop/rock star / wannabe actor's performing on them.

Will I Ever Feel Like a Grownup?

One definition of "grownup" says: a fully developed person from maturity onward. If that's so, and I'm thirty years old... then why do I still wake up from time to time and pray my mom or dad will be there in my kitchen fixing breakfast and helping me solve the problems I'm about to face in the world that day?
I've noticed a pattern to the feeling... of course more often than not, this feeling is brought on by a major change, stress or sometimes just waking up in an unfamiliar place...
Take this morning for example. I woke up in Hollywood, Florida in a company furnished apartment that I will call home for the next month and a half... This should be a relatively normal feeling, as I am a performer and somewhat of a gypsy. I have been on many tours in the United States and Europe and I have worked in cities across the U. S. for extended periods of time living in temporary housing... Nevertheless, the oddity of waking up in your empty, lifeless, and personality-free "fake" home just plain sucks.
I'm excited to be here in Florida, and I look forward to the work I get to do here... But this morning, as I sat in bed thinking about my life and all of the experiences I've had so far, I just couldn't make sense of how sad I felt, that a large part of my time has been spent away from those people I love.
It strange really, because while I lived at home I couldn't wait to get out... (Not because I didn't love my parents, but instead, because I wanted to start my own life...) Now, a grownup... I have to make decisions for myself. I have to take care of myself, and the biggest fear of all- I have to be responsible for myself!
I'm not sure this thought has much of an ending, other than the fact that when I woke up this morning and I relived the past 12 years of my life while in and out of sleep... I was so grateful for my parents love and support throughout my adult life...
Though they have not been with me physically along the journey, somehow, they are always ready to answer my phone calls... no matter where I'm calling from or time of day or night!
...and sometimes I think it's okay for a grownup to admit that he still needs his parents.