Hello 2016

There is nothing more intoxicating than a blank page in a fresh new journal.
For some, especially writers, that empty space is overwhelming;
I see it as an opportunity to reinvent my story.
An empty canvas––the only expectation, to imagine the possibilities.
I’ve always been that guy who sets goals, both attainable and lofty dreams that seem impossible, which provide a brilliant challenge for me.
In my twenties I spent too much time focusing on hitting the target, and didn’t appreciate the path through the woods––with unexpected obstacles; at the time I considered them roadblocks, now I realize they were challenges that helped me fine-tune my shot.
In my early thirties I refined my approach.  I focused my energy and harnessed my efforts in order to soak in the sunlight that beams down along the trail.
Now, I’m expanding my ideas.
I’m less concerned with hitting specific career goals, and more determined to seek happiness in the daily journey.
Human nature tells me to continue wanting; no matter how out of reach the goal might be, once I’ve accomplished it––like a junkie looking for the next fix, I need more!
I’m ready to break that cycle.  Not that I believe there’s anything wrong with aspiring to achieve new heights, but I’d rather splendor in the moment rather than constantly fight to feel happiness through achievements.
I have never defined my success based on a job or dollar amount, still I fall victim to the mindset that “it” will never be enough.
“If I could just sell this book, then I’ll be happy.”
So as I face the bright empty glow of cotton card-stock, I set in motion a new plan.  I will embrace each day with light and fearlessness, and as I work to accomplish new goals––I will stay present and be thankful for the challenge each new day brings; without stress or doubt.  Every roadblock is conditioning me for the next adventure.

The Fifty Yard Dash!

I woke up feeling a little sad and overwhelmed.

Adamant about not spending my entire day in a funk,

I started writing in my journal.

It's a daily battle for me to remember that life is not a race-

Although, sometimes I think I would accomplish twice as much if I carried

around a stopwatch and a whistle!

A Journal Full Of Codes...

I find it very bizarre that I try to withhold things from my journal.
I mean what's the point of having a secret place to share my innermost feelings, if I don't confess my true innermost feelings?

In the past, I've even gone so far as to write in a special code that would require remembering what each code word meant... I could write out a legend and keep it hidden, so that years from now when I was ready to write a tell-all book, I would be able to decipher my cryptic entries a la the decoder ring from the movie A Christmas Story...

It reminds me of when I was in middle school and me and my friends would try to invent a secret language so that nobody else would be able to understand what we were talking about... In the end not even we understood half of what we were saying!
No- this just doesn't work! The entire point of writing in a journal is to release the trapped emotions in a safe non-judgemental place.
So what if someone "accidentally" stumbles onto it, opens it and reads several incriminating confessions and then feels nauseated with guilt, like I did when I found my sisters diary in high school! ...life goes on!

Besides, what do I have to hide? I spend ninety percent of my life sharing too much information (usually to get a laugh or deflect a bad situation) and no one believes it's true anyway!
So no more secrets from my journal!

I'm only disappointed that during the darkest hours of my life, when the pain and sadness was so overwhelming and raw, when I truly wrote my deepest, most honest thoughts and feelings (and I'm confident the material would; not only make for an amazing book- but actually help someone headed down the same lonely road...) and I can't find the damned decoder ring!

Don't You Hate It...

When you're in bed late at night, justing getting ready to fall asleep...

...and a stroke of brilliance pops into your head!

Too tired to wake up and fully realize the flash of pure gold that is sure to revolutionize your way of life, and possible millions of others too!

You don't even have the energy to roll over, turn on the lamp that sits next to your bed, and scratch down the idea in your "Amazing Ideas Before You Go To Bed" notebook that you bought for these very occasions...

You think to yourself, "it's okay, there's no way I'm gonna forget this!"

...then you wake up and you realize that you had this instance of utter genius, and you can't remember a damn thing!

Not even a flicker of the memory remains...

Well, that happened to me last night!

And I couldn't be more pissed off at my "glorious" idea and my lazy self!