Stand Up.

My grandma used to tell me, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

I've used her words throughout my life and career; a benchmark in the way I conduct myself professionally.

I stand up for myself—even when it's unpopular and inconvenient—because I refuse to enable a person in a powerful position to take advantage of another person just because they think they can.

No job or relationship is worth being treated without the same respect that you would treat your grandmother with; period.

Bum

I don’t know if you can catch up on sleep;
But I gave my best effort today.
I just woke up from an 12 hour coma.
Feeling rested and ready to go take a nap on the couch with my puppies.
It’s a lazy Sunday––I might feel guilty––if I hadn't just spent the past three weeks waking up at 6 a.m. and working until 11 p.m.
Finding balance on the road is challenging, now that I’m home for a few days, I’m going to celebrate my inner bum.

TSA

Totally 

Shitty

Arrangement.

Crisp

The scent of pine fills the mountain air;
An invigorating stillness lingers, challenging me to find my zen.
Grounded by the crunchy earth, I’m high on altitude.
The morning is crisp.

Back To The Present

Past the self-doubt, fear, and anxiety;

I found peace (again) in the light.

The present is here, ready to welcome me and free my soul from the commotion of yesterday and the uncertainty of tomorrow.

Today I am awake;

Grateful for the adventure and ready for unexpected opportunities.

Starbucks

I wait for Starbucks like children wait for Santa at Christmas; the gift is a daylong caffeine fix.

Ego

When I acknowledge the negative energy within me, I bring awareness to my circumstances,

which allows me to remember that the ego is desperate for reaction.

I refuse to be ruled by ego;

I prefer to crush egos instead.

Egg White Bite

Little savory pillow of magic;

Packed with protein, ready to jumpstart my day.

Sin-free snacking never tasted so good. 

Thank you Starbucks; consistent corporate coffee has saved the day, again!

Choreographing At Starbucks

I sit in my chair devouring a Venti iced coffee while planning out my jazz combination;

I'm living my childhood dream...

Drinking Starbucks whenever I want and creating stories with music and movement!

Finding My Zen; Again.

As the Uber coasted around the mountain bend, I could feel the calming energy of the lake penetrating my skin;

Further into Lake Tahoe, the endless chatter in my mind subsided and I felt my inner peace return; it has been missing for a few weeks.

Like anyone, I face momentary setbacks. 

I spend so much time hustling, creating, pushing for my artistic ambitions to meet their destiny;

Often, I forget that I have no control over the journey.

Only how I react to my circumstances is within my grasp; and without Faith, light, hope—I lose my step.

Now, emerging back into the present, I feel the weight lift, the sky above Heavenly Village is just that, a gift from God.

I am here.

My past cannot be changed and tomorrow will bring the demands of tomorrow.

Today, I found my Zen; again.

BUSted

The glamorous life on tour would never be complete without a 16 passenger limo-bus pulling up at 3:15 a.m. to greet 18 cranky show-people and a gaggle of wide-load suitcases.

The bus expands to sustain our girth;

Our baggage is heavy.

Coffee Or Cover?

The rain poured down as I sat discouraged in my hotel bed;
I fell asleep last night with the joyful anticipation of a sunrise walk to the Starbucks Coffee shop, which is located four blocks from the hotel.
I’m not sure my need for caffeine supersedes my desire to stay dry.
It’s the day of the show and if I don’t get my Venti Soy Latte, I might cry.

Let It Go...

Darkness sets in quickly and without warning;
I have the tools, faith, and ability to find my way to light;
The power is in the choice:
Release the past and find your way into the light,
Or, live with negativity, and fall deeper into the depression.
Deep breath; let it go.

Six Word Essay, Life on Tour

Sleeping in, is not a thing.

Do It!

The gnawing feeling that I should be doing more;
The creative process is often a delicate balancing act of pushing past our limitations and accepting the present for what it has to offer.
Like my grandpa used to say, “if you want to do it, do it––if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.”
There is no stopping the power of creativity; it is a force that––once in motion––cannot be stalled.

Finding Me...

A subtle shift in my outlook has me feeling hopeful and revived today.
I smiled a simple, unforced smile at myself in the mirror while I was shaving and I remembered how positive and full of light I can be.
It’s a choice to be present and positive;
Darkness, doubt, fear, and anger are all readily accessible; seeking a target who is willing to spend more living in the past––I refuse to give in without a vicious fight––and find my way to the present.
I have no concern for how many times I will re-learn this lesson (as often as it takes to find balance and a brighter outlook), it’s my mission to live in the present with unconditional love, fearlessness, and Faith.

While Sitting At The Airport...

I can:

Deposit my paycheck,

Choreograph my next piece,

Edit a short film,

Eat a healthy meal,

Consume two Starbucks beverage (at different locations,

Change my wardrobe,

Return business calls,

Respond to an overloaded email inbox,

And finish my morning meditation while working a short yoga phrase—which I record and post—for social media!

Truth On Tour; Packing

A suitcase jammed past capacity;
Plaids, prints, and cheerfully bright selection of pants––some worn and some clean––coexist in an overcrowded world of darkness.

The Struggle Is Real...

The path of enlightenment often has setbacks;
Today, I’m challenge with a lack of sleep and a line too long at Starbucks;
I wil have to face The Force of an entire crew dressed up as their favorite Star Wars character––on a cup of weak hotel coffee.
#ThemeDay

Room For Health...

Push-ups on my hotel room floor are no substitute for my down-ward dog;
But it does the trick when you cannot get to a room that has been adequately heated and saturated with the perfect blend of humidity and hot bodies (literally and figuratively).

The Glamorous Life...

The filtered light and steam billowing from the gap below the bathroom door nudged me up twenty minutes before the soft rippling waves of my alarm were set to wake me;
Still in a Netflix haze––binge watching Glow––had me body slamming pillows all night long.
My roommate finishes getting ready in the bathroom, while I check my Instagram account, trying to commit to getting up.
If I want to avoid another ten minute Starbucks line, I’ve got to get my ass in the shower...
Sleeping in is not an option on tour.

My Addiction

Has me hanging out in a line with men in business suits;

Housewives in track suits;

Hot guys in swimsuits;

And me in a costume;

What is: "A hotel Starbucks, for $1000."

The Countdown Begins...

The truth on tour is that I dearly miss my family and every second I'm away from them feels like an open wound.

Today I board a red-eye into the storm of a three week tour;

The glamorous life begins, and so I mask my sadness behind a facade of white teeth—which I paid top dollar for—and I celebrate the fact that I get paid to live my dream.

The present sometimes requires a delusional bliss; the paycheck helps, too!

Trust Your Instinct...

That feeling in your upper gut is not gas––it’s your instinct––and the more I listen to it, the happier I am.
Life is too short to give a shit about other people’s judgments of you (no matter how important they think they are), trust yourself and plan an exit strategy accordingly.

The Work Only Works When...

I’ve read dozens of self-discovery books in my lifetime;
Endless hours of time invested on my yoga mat;
Meditation and prayer are a constant in my mind and soul;
Still, I struggle to be present.
The work of the ego is as mighty as the Devil at weeklong Bible retreat in the south; and more destructive, too.
When I give in to the unrealistic demands of my ego, I seek more; more money, more jobs, more opportunities, more, more, more!
A catastrophic path that leads to a miserable life.
The annihilation can be avoided by getting out of my head and back to the present.
When I use the tools: breathe, release, trust, and find light––I return to the finest version of myself––present and ready for anything.

Get Over It; And Let It Go...

Is there a difference between getting over something and letting something go?
I think when I get over something I never look back;
But if I let something go, I always wonder if I’ve released it too soon...
I can get over my reaction to a circumstance, but I can never seem to let go of the person or path that lead me to react in the first place.
My goal this year is to learn how to really let go of the energy that no longer serves me; it’s a simple practice in getting over my need to control everything.
And I’ve already established that I’m good at getting over things...

Clearing Back Debris

I just walk our property with a new landscape team;
You never realize how overgrown and ugly your property is, until you have a specialist open your eyes to the weeds, overgrowth, and dead weight.
It was a metaphor for the internal emotional and mental struggles I’m dealing with.
I accepted that it was time to give my heart, mind, and soul and good pruning today; which will be my focus in yoga––clearing back the overgrown fears, doubts, and weeds.

One Down...

The show is over and the check has been cashed; 

Crushing the competition, fighting to remain creative, and (hopefully) inspiring a new generation of dancers.

One down, five more weeks to go!

Let Go Of Darkness

Feeling off center; I ground myself through coffee beans and self-help books.

Reading, journaling, and a quick scan of my mental and emotion health reveal that I may be spending more time in my head than I'd like to admit.

With a deep breath and a heavy sigh, I release the darkness;

Saturated poison and fear that I absorbed like a sponge in a room full of people who hide behind a judgmental smile.

I am who I am; letting go of everything else—life is short—I've got work to do.

Living The Dream

The grumbling in my stomach from eating inconsistently;

The subtle traces leftover sleep in my eyes;

The mild aches and pains in my neck from sleeping in a bed that's unfamiliar;

(I miss my bed.)

This is the life that I dreamed of living, for better or worse, so I'm turning my frown into a forced smile—it will eventually manifest into a genuine feeling of gratitude—I'm living the dream.

Snark and Starbucks

The employees at Starbucks dawn their best game faces;

As a former service industry professional myself, I see past there plastered smile and pleasant facade.

My expertise in dealing with customers at 6 a.m. detects a hint of snark in their tone as they welcome crabby customers.

I smile inside and count my blessings; I get spend my day in a theater—I might not be performing—but I'm not appeasing un-caffeinated assholes.