Forced Relaxation

I always feel guilty taking time off-
My soul wants to create,
My brain wants a challenge,
My OCD wants to take action,
But my heart NEEDS time: with my family, friends and myself.
I need to calm my thoughts, fears and desires, and remember how healing it is to sit in stillness and appreciate my surroundings.
Enlightenment comes through meditation.

Another Friendly Reminder to Myself:

I worry too much.
I always have. Especially as a child-
Any of my energy that wasn't spent acting out skits for my family (or more-so for myself in front of a mirror) was exhausted in deep thought.
I overanalyzed, questioned and contemplated every detail of my life.
I concerned myself with how others might react to my decisions, and for the better part of my young adult life, I continued this pattern.
Allowing the actions or reactions from others, to dictate the way I communicated, planned or approached a situation.
Finally, after several life changing events, I made an epic self discovery:  I am not responsible for how others react to my decisions.  My choices are mine, and the only person I have to please, is myself.
Not out of selfishness, but rather full of self-respect.
I have strong opinions.  I still overthink things and I'm highly critical of myself, however, I've managed to adopt a healthier outlook on pursuing my goals and finding balance in my life.
As an artist, I struggle with "the question" which I now call "checking in."
Should I continue to purse my goals?
This question that lingers over my head, is the primary reason I've committed myself to daily journaling and my creative writing on this blog.  I'm dedicated to my growth as a person: mentally, physically, emotionally, artistically and spiritually.  I want to live a balanced life-  therefore, it is necessary for me to evolve in my ideas and adapted to the opportunities (and setbacks) that I am faced with.
I wouldn't continue to work my ass off every single day if I didn't believe that I am destined to achieve my goals.
I never thought about deadlines growing up.  I just knew that I was going to "make it."  As time passed and I got a little older, I began to see others giving themselves ultimatums and setting timelines.  "If I don't [Fill in the blank] by my thirtieth birthday, then I will quit.
What's the point?  If my goals are still real in my mind, then why on earth would I stop pursing them- especially after all of the time I've invested.
As long as I have a point of view that is uniquely mine, and the passion to share it- I'm going to fight to get it heard!
Allowing anything other than positive energy and Faith to motivate me, is an utter waste of time.

Doubtful...

When you remove the element of doubt, all you’re left with is certainty.

I’m sure if I was on trail for a crime I didn’t commit, I’d PRAY that my lawyer could cast a shadow of doubt in my favor-
Aside from that, I have no room for doubt in my life.

In fact, my entire career has been based on the conviction that I could not fail.

Of course I’ve been unsuccessful at achieving every obstacle I’ve set out to conquer...
Nevertheless, I continue to operate on the basis that if I release the fear (or doubt) I will triumph. 
...and with that kind of attitude, it’s DOUBTFUL that I’ll fail!

Leap And The Net Will Appear!

...Maybe.
Today I woke up in a bad mood. I was frustrated and feeling sorry for myself.
I hate that quality in people, especially myself!
So, keeping in mind my goals for this year- I took a deep breath, counted to 10 and released all the nasty doubt.
I decided to do three bold things that could help me around my current situation.
I put myself out there entirely-
So far the risk hasn't returned a profitable investment...
But I'm confident it will.
Every time I've jumped,
I've soared!