Deep Breath.

My daily aim is to be present and live fully in every moment, even the “bad” ones.
To stay focused on positive action and release negative energy.
Despite how much time I spend reading self-discovery books, journaling, meditating, praying, and getting down on my yoga mat––I haven't been able to escape the human condition––overthinking and worrying about things that are out of my control.
It is in those instances, that I’m trying to remember that the road back to inner peace is available anytime and only requires a deep breath.

Hawaii Day 5

Even when the birds argue at 5AM, it sounds beautiful;
It’s hard to be upset in Hawaii.
The ocean waves act as an emotional eraser––gently absorbing unpleasant thoughts and washing them out to sea.
Conflict melts away in the warm salty air;
All that is left is Faith in paradise.

Hawaii Day 3

Just as the sun rises over the volcanic rock behind me,
My mind awakes and begins to stir;
Just as the ocean rolls in towards the sand,
My heart beats and I feel alive;
Just as the birds call to each other,
My soul sings out with gratitude.
In this moment, I am present and at peace.

Good Morning

It’s still dark outside;
A sliver of light cracks over the San Gabriel Mountains,
The birds chirping outside my window serve as a beautiful, calm wake-up call.
My puppies are still cozy in bed as I make my way to the office to write.
The smell of dew covered grass wafts into the house,
My serene Saturday has begun.

Calm

The anxious mind seeks answers;
The peaceful mind seeks stillness.

The Calm Before Christmas

The end of the year approaches faster than department stores axe their Halloween displays and deliver us Christmas.
Longing to delight in the decadence of the festive season, I plan too many parties, dates with friends and family, and overbook my schedule;
Leaving me overwhelmed and stressed.
Every year I remind myself to enjoy the moment and appreciate each event, but I end up spending more time just trying to stay calm and get through it.
So today, I’m offering myself the chance to binge watch cheesy Christmas movies (thank you Hallmark Channel) while wrapping presents, chatting on the phone with loved ones, and yes––eating too many Christmas treats.
Tis The Season.

City to the Suburbs

Riding the train into Brooklyn with my friends, who swore they’d never move to Brooklyn (back when we were in our twenties), I discovered that I appreciate distance from the city life.
Interesting how age makes you appreciate space;
In life, love, friendship, and housing.

Forced Relaxation

I always feel guilty taking time off-
My soul wants to create,
My brain wants a challenge,
My OCD wants to take action,
But my heart NEEDS time: with my family, friends and myself.
I need to calm my thoughts, fears and desires, and remember how healing it is to sit in stillness and appreciate my surroundings.
Enlightenment comes through meditation.

Sunday Mornings

Sunday mornings are calm and peaceful,
Even my puppies lie quiet, despite the 7 AM alarm.
Lazy and warm, we stay cuddled up in bed,
Until the rich aroma of coffee (set on auto the night before)
Entices me to start my day!

NYC in the AM

New York in the early morning is (dare I say) calm;

No honking taxis,

The streets are empty,

Times Square shines half as bright.

On the way to the airport I got sentimental-

I miss the good moments I had while living in the city.

[Then]

Slam on the breaks and barley miss hitting a nasty, angry man crossing the street.

The moment passed.

LA is waiting for me,

But I'll always have my memories!

Mental Wondering

I've got a lot on my mind.
No matter how hard I try,
My ability to "release" has been suspended.
Missing gram,
Getting married,
Spending the past month working away from home,
Setting up meetings,
Planning a fall work schedule,
Stressing about what's next,
Angry that I can't seem to achieve balance right now,
Upset that I'm angry.
The choice to release all of this and trust in my FAITH remains,
Yet I continue to drown myself deeper the pool of thoughts in my mind.
I need a life preserver from my mental wondering!

Rise and Hike!

I love waking up early in LA-

The sun is still hiding behind the morning marine layer,

The streets are calm, and so am I.

A hike through the hills surrounding my house,

It's easy to meditate and enjoy the magical Los Angeles skyline.

I'm reminded of how gorgeous LA is.

As I take in the smell of the jasmine and lavender that fill the air, 

I appreciate how easy life can be.

I'm inspired to keep my calm, focused, energy throughout the day.

Now is the perfect time to create!

Last Day In Bliss...

Morning stretch,

Spa Breakfast,

Yoga,

A dip in the pool followed by a hot tub bath,

Steam room detox,

Salt scrub and shower...

Today is the last day of our birthday spa getaway.

I can't wait to come back!

You Can't Force It...

Lists,

Goals,

Dreams,

Obligations,

Work,

Play,

Creativity,

There's a lot to accomplish each day...

But if you try to force something to happen, chances are the only thing that will happen is a stress headache and disappointment!

I always strive for balance. If I can do a little bit of everything each day I'm proud-

But there will be days when you just can't focus...

I have to remember that it's okay to release the things that aren't working, and come back to them later!

Life is too short to freak out about an unaccomplished goal.

YOGA

You
Only
Grow
Aware

Patience...

Is a vertue I was CLEARLY born without!

I can practice yoga and live all Zen...

But I still get pissed off in the end!

Rage!

It starts off slow,
Simmering.
Listening to the untruths-
No use trying to defend yourself,
You're just proving their point.
The heat builds in my stomach,
Quickly rising past the heart.
When it reaches your throat it's too late!
My mouth opens in anger.
The rage has got the best of me...
Again.
Right after yoga too.
People that want to get a reaction usually get what they want.
Forgive yourself and try harder next time.

Focus Grasshopper

It's easy to find your Zen in a tropical paradise like Hawaii-
But to maintain calm in Los Angeles,
It requires a lot of focus!
The toughest part is remembering to let go...
Even when you have a set back,
Like that asshole who cut me off yesterday and almost caused a wreck-
I have to let it go.
The worst is waking up overwhelmed...
I didn't have that in Hawaii, why do I have it in LA?
Oh right, because I'm back in reality.
Ok-
Deep breath in and release.
That problem is only a only an issue because I haven't solved it yet.
Focus on the task at hand, apply positive action, cross it off the list and move on!
The grasshopper is learning.
...VERY slowly!

Take A Hike!

When moments of chaos ensue-

I need to clear my mind.

I allow myself to get caught up in patterns;

Trying to accomplish too much in too short a time.

Stress, doubt and fear begin to rule.

The pressure will eventually build. 

I get lazy!

That won't help matters.

It's times like this when I need to step away from the iPhone Calendar...

And go take a hike!

Deep Breaths...

I was a very emotional child. When I was happy I was bouncing off the walls making everyone around me laugh. When I was sad, I was on the floor in tears, rolling around, throwing my head back and forth full of passion. Needless to say, my future as a performer was destine!
The emotion that I had the least control over was my RAGE. I can still hear my dad saying, "Deep breaths Matthewson..." Mocking the ever popular movie of the time, The Karate Kid. My dad thought he was being funny, but all it would do is send me into a deeper state of RRRRRAAAAAGGGGEEEE!
Nevertheless, his intentions were good. He wanted me to practice gaining control of my breath. Taking a minute to step away from the action causing the rage, and breathing in and releasing it! My dad was a Yogi twenty years before yoga was a way of life for mainstream America.
Now, as an adult, I'm happy to report that I have my emotions a bit more in check. I still experience the feelings that could send me in a downward spiral of mass destruction, however now- I practice the breath!
Today I woke up in a mediocre mood. I wanted to accomplish too much, too fast. And when it blew up in my face, all I could do is sit in anger.
Not wanting to waste a perfectly good day off, I decided to go to yoga. It was tough at first to release the nasty energy that was forcing itself into my heart, thankfully the yogi played some kick ass music, and once I focused on the breath, my fears and anger melted away.
Wanting to stay in this somewhat meditative state, even after my yoga practice ended and life's bitchy little digs were still waiting for me at the door, I decided to go right back into my breath.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep Breath in. Deep breath out.
When I opened my eyes, I was calm again. Too bad the costumers in the Trader Joe's produce aisle were all raging because I was blocking the fresh spinach.
Oh well, I guess some people just aren't in tune with their inner peace.