It's amazing how fast your perception of life can change-
I've been in pure bliss for the past two weeks;
From the wonderful adventures with my friends who were in town from New York, and the quality time I've had with my friends in Los Angeles-
To the amazing opportunities I've had to choreograph and create on television. In addition to the success that our parodies are achieving on-line...
I've been riding a ten foot wave.
And in one phone call my body comes crashing down with the surf.
Without going into great detail, I received a troubling phone call yesterday regarding my sisters health.
My sister, Shiree was diagnosed with cancer about five years ago, and after several rounds of treatment, we were all so elated that she beat it! Having been healthy and cancer free for over two years, the next miracle came when we found out Shiree was pregnant.
On December 15, 2010 my sister gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl!
So when I found out that my sisters health took a turn for the worse, I instantly went to a dark place.
It's such a challenge to stay focused on positive energy and not give into the fear and doubt. Especially when it's my sisters life I'm talking about.
I want my sister to be well. Shiree has waited her whole life to be a mother- and from the second that baby entered our lives, my sister has focused on giving her unconditional love.
The thought of losing my sister or imaging life without her, kills me.
Yet I know that it is in this moment when my faith should be stronger than ever.
It's easy to be grateful and keep the faith when everything is magical and effortless.
The fear, doubt and negativity is much easier to give into. But that darkness will only lead to more destruction.
Thankfully, I was able to talk to my Grandma Shaffer (who celebrates her 75th birthday today) and I was reminded that energy is better spent focusing on what we can do, not what we can't.
Of course there is a large piece of me that feels selfish for living so far away from my family. For being unable to share in more of their day to day lives.
I would love to laugh with my sister, hold my niece on a daily basis, have coffee with my mom, go on a bike ride with my dad or just show up to Sunday dinner with my whole family.
However, I also believe that each of us has a path. A purpose on this earth. And I trust that we are lead on a journey that was designed specifically for us. If we can fulfill our lives on the deepest level, then we are more effective at helping others on their path.
Often I wonder if I'm too carefree with my approach to life.
Then I remember how long I struggled when I allowed fear and doubt to dictate how I lived from day to day-
The second I released all of those destructive thoughts, I was ready to see all of the amazing things that surround me.
I can be upset about things that happen in life, but that isn't going to change the outcome. The only way to truly change any outcome is to change the way you approach it.
The day before my Grandpa Shaffer passed away, he was laying in his hospital bed.
He knew he was dying, and yet he kept his sense of humor and wit.
He didn't cry. He didn't fight it. He had already spent five years battling cancer. He just enjoy his final days with his family surrounding him. He was a brilliant man.
I stood there crying over him. I was not ready to lose him.
He looked up, smiled and said,
"Don't be sad, Matt. I am so proud of you. I've had a good life."
That's when I decided to change my outlook.
On the phone this morning with my grandma, she said something to me that she would say all of the time while I was growing up,
"Nothing is in our control."
For a long time I would disagree with her when she said that. I believed we could change or control our lives-
But now I realize, the only thing we can control is our ability to make a choice.
The choice to seek out the positive energy, love and faith.
Or
The choice to give into fear and doubt.
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