Fear Not!

The moment I exhale the negativity;
I’m reconnected with the Universe.
I once again remember that my path has already been cleared;
I just have to follow it and trust that God will provide me with the tools I need along the way.

Home

Sunday in LA; hungover.

Happy to be home with my family.

Ginger and Lily on my lap—Starbucks iced coffee and my journal.

My sister is going to be okay.

God is good. 

Palm Springs; Day 2

God will give me what I need, when I need it.
[Repeat as often as necessary to enjoy my time on vacation.]

Faith and Family

Today my Faith was tested; I failed.
My sister is lying in a hospital bed, her body is weak.  Fever has rendered her incoherent and like families do, we took our fear out on each other.
Emotions run high, and unfortunately I said things I didn’t mean to say.
You can’t undo hurtful words––regardless of whether or not they are warranted.
I questioned God, not because my sister is ill, but because of my dads conviction that is in direct conflict of my belief.
Regardless, I love my dad and mom, and we all love my sister.  We have to do better to be kind, forgiving and Faithful.
Family is the most important thing to me, and I have to allow my actions to speak louder than my hurtful words.

Top Secret!

Today is the first day of rehearsal for a Top Secret project I booked!
I'm so thrilled––only seven days into the new year and I scored a huge gig.
Another reminder that life (and God) will lead you down an unseen path, just when you thought the journey had ended.
Today I am grateful!

Random

Running into the #DanceMoms on my way to judge in Oklahoma...

So random and yet so perfect!

I always smile when God sends a sign like that.

New House, Same God

My new church smells like old lady perfume.
I'm fairly certain it hasn't been remodeled since the 70's;
And I LOVE it.
It reminds me of my gram.
The music is different, and the people are unfamiliar-
But it's the same God.

Six Word Essay on Faith

If you believe, you will succeed.

Signs

I believe in signs.
Primarily because I've relied on indicators throughout my journey.
I wouldn't walk down a dark alley alone if I saw two guys with knives hanging around on the corner;
That's a sign of more trouble to come.
Every time that I've struggled with my career path or a major life decision, I've asked God for a direction-
Clarity, guidance, strength, wisdom.
A sign so that I may feel comfortable with my choice.
The past three months have been rough on me; losing my grandma, career setbacks and financial fears.  I began questioning, doubting and giving into fear.  I allowed the opinions of others to control my choices.
I lost Faith in myself and God.
(I should mention that I don't believe in coincidence, nor do I doubt the presence of a spiritual being greater than me; God.)
So it's no surprise that I find myself once again humbled and grateful for the sign I received yesterday.
It didn't take much, just a simple reminder in the way of a Scripture I saw posted on Facebook:
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
It was a direct answer to the questions I had while silently meditating in prayer.
It's a sign that I must hear, accept and trust.
It was an answer to my question of doubt.

I Saw The Sign

Every year, we usually end up with tickets to the Hollywood Bowl.

I love it.

The music, culture, friends, food wine and people watching-

It's the perfect LA moment!

Last night was special for me. Not because Steve Martin was performing, though he was very entertaining.

One of my favorite moments at the Bowl, is as the sun sets behind the Hollywood Hills, the dusk heightens the romantic atmosphere-

Then, I always see it, right near the famous Hollywood sign, there's a gigantic Cross lite up.

I see that Cross on every trip to the bowl, and each time it feels like the first- a significant sign just for me.

"Remember Matthew, God is with you. You are safe. You have nothing to fear."

Last night however, I did not see that Cross.

It turns out the seats that we'd been given were perfectly placed in a gorgeous section of the outdoor theatre, and right next to us was a very lovely old tree hiding the Cross.

It suddenly dawned on me,

"Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there."

It was the most brilliant analogy for Faith.

It came at the exact moment in my life that I needed it.

After losing my gram, the doubt and questioning of my path and purpose in life began to seep in like a slow killing poison. 

I miss her so much, and no matter how many times I've tried to release my pain, my downward spiral continued.

I was remind last night, that in no way is my lack of Faith or sadness serving God or the spirit of my grandma. 

My time on this earth is short-

God has had a magnificent presence in everything good in my life.

I'd rather spend whatever time I have here filled with; happiness, hope, passion, love and Faith.

Whether I can see it or not, God has a path for me, I have to trust that it's there.

God is Real To Me...

In every blessing,
Opportunity,
and failure-
In my happiest moments,
and my darkest fears-
Every trace of doubt is removed, at the exact moment that I need to remember or feel His presence.
Through all my setbacks, questions and successes-
I believe in His path.

Remember:

Gods plan in bigger than yours.