Truth on Tour: Day 16

There are times when you just need to blow off steam and let your hair down;
You can always count on the lively people on the East Coast to encourage a wild and crazy night.
I partied like a rock star last night––thankfully I was able to sleep in today.
Also cool, today is the end of the third city; three down, one to go!
Life tends to feel as though it moves faster when you’re on the road.
Probably because there are days when you never leave the hotel lobby, so you never know if it’s light or dark outside.
Yesterday, when we were finished with our show, I walked outside and like a vampire on True Blood I cringe when I saw the sun––this cannot be a positive reaction; I’ll be happy when that glowing ball of energy in the sky is a series regular in my life again.

Truth on Tour: Day 14

Yesterday I was off my game;
I had a bad day––and I could not find my way back to a positive outlook.
Fourteen days into the tour; today marks my half-way point.
That’s cause enough to celebrate!  It’s also my anniversary and I’m away from home.
When you’re working, socializing, and sleeping (in the same hotel room) with the same people for an extended period of time––and you’re not married to them––things are bound to get bumpy.
Thankfully, I climbed out of my negative slump and I’m ready to laugh again.
I used my complaint card (we all get one on tour) and now it’s time to build a bridge and get over it.
No one wants to be around a bitter, jaded diva––unless you’re married to Shannen Doherty and you’re just after the money...

Breathe, You Are Blessed.

My emotional happiness is in direct relation to my outlook;
As I sit at the airport waiting to board another flight––I fight the urge to rage.
One deep breath in and a release with a smile; which catches the attention of an older woman walking toward the gate––she smiles back.
Positive energy is contagious, I know this, and yet I forget to trust my instinct to be grateful.
Every day is a new opportunity to be a more evolved version of myself.
People always say, “enjoy the journey”, but very few people understand how to proceed.
After too many self-help books, I’m beginning to accept that every single day will be a challenge, the goal for me: how to stay present.
Sometimes it’s in a deep breath, sometimes it’s in an unconscious blog post, and sometimes it’s with alcohol.
I’m okay with that.
Today, I found peace in the fact that I have a career which allows me to follow the dreams that I’ve had since I was a young child; if that means dealing with TSA, annoying passengers, crabby flight attendants, and flying to glamorous locations like Charlotte, North Carolina––well I consider myself blessed.

Pep Talk

I’m focused and passionate about my future;
Setting goals can easily get me overwhelmed.
I’m working to find balance, while increasing productivity.
The more I stress, the less I achieve––opposite, when I release and take action I find success.
Exploring ways to unburden myself from comparing my path to others and staying connected with my own personal evolution will lead to victory.

Let Go and Go Get It!

In an effort to reduce stress and enjoy a more balanced life,
I’ve decided I’m not going to rage today.
Yes, I want to go off on the lack of productivity I’ve received from people whom I entrusted with my career––but the simple truth remains;
NO ONE will ever work as hard as me on my behalf.
So, the negative energy is gone, and I’m ready to move on!
#LetGo&GoGetIt

Six Word Essay on Goals:

Endlessly trying to get shit done!

My Reality...

Last night: adoption orientation,

This morning: pitch meeting at NBC!

#MakingItHappenInHollyood 

I'm Growing Up... I think.

I was thirty-five years old when I passed the laundry mat phase of my life.
I always thought I'd grow up faster, especially because I was wearing three-piece suits as a nine year old.  But something shifted for me when I got to high school.  I decided it was okay to be young, wild, creative and free...
I guess that's what happens when you're a performer attending a performing arts high school.
I'm happy that I had those crazy adventures in Chicago, Europe and New York City, however it wasn't until I moved back to Los Angeles when I realized, I'm ready to start living an adult life.
I don't miss the parking pass; carry (four months worth of) your dirty laundry to a laundry mat; only eat out during Happy Hour, hours part of my life.
I may not be the next Hollywood heartthrob, but I have an awesome life and a fabulous career doing what I love.
And today, that just feels awesome.
I'd still like to take the day off, and go to Disneyland though.

Motivated!

If you want to "do it all" you have to start by doing something.
Taking that first step in any direction is hard, however it will help motivate the spirt into action.
Action equals results.
So my choices today:
Sit around waiting for a phone to ring.
OR
Pick up the phone and start ringing-up some potential opportunities.
The only way to succeed, is by going after what you want!

Wake Up Your Goals!

The moment you actualize a dream it becomes a goal-

The difference? 

Dreams inspire you in your sleep.

Goals motivate accomplishments by taking action!

Own The World!

I can't let other peoples shitty days bring me down.
It's easy to get caught up in the fear.
It takes discipline to release their energy, and concentrate on the facts:
I'm in good health. I have a beautiful family and supportive friends. I own a home, and I've enjoyed a lifetime of following my passion.  Everything else is icing-
Looking back I see a wonderful career, looking forward I see nothing but opportunity.
Focused on the present I see pure blessings.
I reject spending a single moment of my time worrying about what others think.  I will continue to work hard, keep faith and own every single day.  It has always worked for me. Life is too short for anything else!

Who Knew?

Who knew buying a home while producing a television show would be so stressful?
I always fantasized that buying my first home would be a joy;
Similarly, I imagined that running a television show would be exciting and fun.
While both opportunities are a huge blessing,
I'll be grateful when we're comfortably moved into our new home, and we've found our groove on the set!

The Saga Continues...

I've heard thousands of horror stories about buying a home;
I just never realized all of those first time home owners I talked to were seriously UNDER exaggerating!
We're fighting so hard to own a house that isn't our first choice;
It isn't even our fourth choice-
From what I understand, this is just the first challenge in a nonstop saga of homeownership!
But I'm ready to join the big boys.

Note To Self

Buying a home is an interesting process;
Never have I been so excited to spend so much time, energy and money on something that is only going to cause stress and financial hardship for the rest of my life...
Oh right, there is my career in show business too!
#That'sLife

Offer It Up!

I offer up my fear to God,
To the 'sellers' realtor, we offer up a solid quote,
To anyone out there, I offer my services as talented:
producer; director; choreographer; performer; teacher!
Everything works out for a reason.

A Short Story: How My Dream Turned Into A Career

Inspired by variety shows like: The Carol Burnett Show, You Can’t Do That On Television, In Living Color and Saturday Night Live, my passion for the entertainment industry was ignited!  I remember the first time I decided to build a set. I was wide-awake in my bedroom late at night after watching an episode of In Living Color. My mind was whirling in a hundred different directions searching for a creative outlet.  Influenced by a sketch that I’d seen Jim Carrey performer earlier in the evening I was eager to release my own inner entertainer.  Without a firm plan, I decided to raid our linen closet searching for the largest sheets and blankets I could find.  I began stapling the sheets to the ceiling in my bedroom to create the best version of a soundstage I could imagine.  I snuck into the living room and “borrowed” the family camcorder that (in my opinion) had not been used to its full potential.  Without a script or any idea of a concept, I searched through my closet to find whatever ridiculous outfit I could make into a costume; propped the camera up on its tripod; pressed record and began improvising.  That improvisation sparked my journey as a performer and filmmaker.  Whether acting, directing, dancing, choreographing or producing- I love the business of entertaining!

That's A Wrap!

We wrapped on an awesome new project last night;
I love when dance and television collide,
Intelligent Latin women, full of passion and talent...
It doesn't hurt that they're all gorgeous!
We got what we needed from them,
Now the real work begins-
The most important part of the story:
Editing.
Ugh. It's a thankless job, but it has to get done.
Let's sell a show!

Walk, Walk, Jazz Run, Step Tilt.

The life of a chorus dancer is still the same;
Show up,
Sign in,
Warm-up,
Learn the combo,
Dance,
[Cuts]
Sing,
And scene!
When they're fun (like today's audition for Elf) they remind me of how much I love musical theatre and performing on stage.
I made it to the end of the audition, and the director and choreographer seemed to enjoy my performance, so fingers crossed, I get the job.
Which I REALLY need right now,
Because the 42 block walk home was very humbling.
Ten years later, and I'm still shuffling off to an audition with a backpack and bittersweet attitude.
You can take the chorus boy out of New York, but apparently he'll just keep living like he did there!

Signs

I believe in signs.
Primarily because I've relied on indicators throughout my journey.
I wouldn't walk down a dark alley alone if I saw two guys with knives hanging around on the corner;
That's a sign of more trouble to come.
Every time that I've struggled with my career path or a major life decision, I've asked God for a direction-
Clarity, guidance, strength, wisdom.
A sign so that I may feel comfortable with my choice.
The past three months have been rough on me; losing my grandma, career setbacks and financial fears.  I began questioning, doubting and giving into fear.  I allowed the opinions of others to control my choices.
I lost Faith in myself and God.
(I should mention that I don't believe in coincidence, nor do I doubt the presence of a spiritual being greater than me; God.)
So it's no surprise that I find myself once again humbled and grateful for the sign I received yesterday.
It didn't take much, just a simple reminder in the way of a Scripture I saw posted on Facebook:
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
It was a direct answer to the questions I had while silently meditating in prayer.
It's a sign that I must hear, accept and trust.
It was an answer to my question of doubt.

Dance 3. Looks 10.

That's not how the song goes?!
Sadly, that's how I felt yesterday at an audition.
Despite my yoga practice and all of the choreography and teaching I do,
The fact is, there are some things I just cannot do anymore...
Like extend my leg past 90 degrees!
Still, I can clean the floor with my style and story-
But don't ask me to do an eight count développé to penché!
It's just not going to happen.
P.S. I'll gladly keep my looks over my extension any day.
Plus, there are still those Broadway style, step touch shows that I'm perfect for!