Note to Self:

My ego has an agenda that is in vast conflict with my soul;
The voice in my head has a plan that is in direct opposition with my heart.
Silence the distractions and trust the faith;
Be present and the path will appear.

Ego

My ego tells me I have to accomplish more;
My soul reminds me that my ego is a bully.
The ego fears death;
The soul embraces life.
Live in the NOW!

Me and My Shadow: The Collaboration

I’m working on joining forces with my alter ego;
The short, fat kid with acne who still lives inside of me––making occasional appearances in moments of pressure, fear, or uncomfortable circumstances.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to give my little butterball the love and attention he needs.
Rather than trying to hide that version of myself (or worse, pretend he never existed), I’m going to listen to him.  I’m going to be the “cool” best friend that he thought he never had in middle school.
His rage, insecurity, passion, and need to be heard has helped motivate my life;
Now I’m in a position to help him heal.
I’ve done the work.  I accept who I am.  I’m not afraid to expose the dark imperfections.
It’s time.

Awake

There is beauty in releasing ego and embracing awareness;
No goal or accomplishment is greater than the inner peace that comes out of release.
The Presence of life––in this moment is all we have;
Breathe through the fear of inadequacy and awake the spirit:
Mind, body, and soul in search of light.
Just like dawn shocks the sky with gorgeous light from complete darkness––our life begins anew each day with purpose beyond who we are, or what we do.
We are more than ego, we are a connected energy.

Let E-go...

Letting go of ego;
To make room for evolution.
The goal: to become a more productive, generous, faithful person for the sake of a more pleasant world.

Emotion

The egos reaction to circumstance;
Knowing the difference between an instinctual fear vs. overthinking.
Receiving praise or criticism alters my consciousness and triggers my body to respond, whether positive or negative, for self-preservation.
Awareness brings serenity, Faith, trust and acknowledgement.
When I release the attachment to self; I invite the truth of the situation enabling me to process the information and evolve.
Surrendering to fear, anger, resentment, sadness, jealousy––all contribute to an unhealthy body and unhappy mind.
Embracing and working through the facts allows for a positive outlook and a healthier, loving, quality of life.

Awareness

I live in a town full of glamor, fame and ego-driven success;
Los Angeles has a reputation (almost as famous as the movie stars who live here) for being fake.
Admittedly, there are a lot of bodies that have been enhanced, résumés that have been exaggerated and conversations that are less than honest.
Despite the negative aspects, Southern California is surrounded with art, culture, massive mountains and an impressive coastline.
The sun shines, wildlife thrives and those who seek adventure can find it anywhere in the form of almost anything from snowboarding to surfing, opera to  art openings.
So how does a location with so many extraordinary features invoke such negative attention.
Let’s be honest––everything ego-driven in LA can be said of New York City, Paris, London, Rome; yet Hollywood takes the blame.
Los Angeles (the city itself) has become an analogy for the people who comprise the city.
How does fixating on the negative aspects of a circumstance; whether it be a person, city or dream serve me?
How can I shift my perspective to help others become aware of the beauty that surrounds them––wherever they are?

Losing Ego

The idea of letting go of material possessions has never been that difficult for me.  Perhaps it is because I have a sister who is a borderline hoarder.
(I mean that with as much love and support possible while recognizing the truth.)
Growing up, I watched her put so much energy into the memory or an object;
Whereas I’m the opposite, I put equal weight into the idea of a goal.

As I read, A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle, I’m discovering that I too was attaching to possessions––mine just happened to be ideas.

Generally, I’ve been the type of person who forces myself to move on:
From jobs when I feel they’ve served their purpose,
Friendships that no longer serve the wellbeing of either party,
Televisions shows that have run their course,
Fad diets that stop working,
You get the point.

The pain from loss is intense, and secretly there is a part of me that enjoys the discomfort––which is why I challenge myself to let go of previously mentioned circumstances.

Now I’m focused on how much I will hold onto an idea––even if it no longer serves me.  A powerful question (from Tolle’s book) has enticed my mind to rethink loss:

“Has who you are become diminished by the loss?”

I’ve never been afraid of dropping jobs or friendships because I’ve never felt less-than by releasing them.  Yet, I’ll hold onto an idea (even if it’s no longer important) for fear of feeling inadequate.
I’m ready to release the ego in order to make room for new opportunities.