NYC 2019; Day 4

Walking down 9th Avenue last night with my former roommate and (still) close friend, Cathy, and I hear, “Mattie!”
It was another close friend (and former roommate), Andrew!
Even after fifteen years, I love that I can be walking in Hells Kitchen and run into my crew.
The skyscrapers might be getting taller and the food more expensive, but at the heart of NYC there is still a vibrant sense of community amongst artists!

NYC 2019; Day 3

After a gorgeous evening with lifelong friends, I woke up today full of gratitude;

A twenty year bond offers trust, understanding, and insight.

I rolled out of bed and into a yoga class, where I discovered how sore my abs are from laughing too hard last night.

Today I have the honor of teaching class at Broadway Dance Center—I love working with dancers who are building their foundation.

Then, I get to hang out with my NYC roommate! …which will certainly include an additional abdominal workout!

NYC 2019; Day 2

The pulse of the city inspires my soul;

Yoga, Starbucks, and people watching as I attend to my daily writing.

It’s wild—I only lived in New York for five years, and that was fifteen years ago—still I smile from the stories from my past.

My adventure continues!

NYC 2019; Day 1:

Last night I walked around midtown and the Upper West Side;

It felt like I was floating in a dream or better yet, an alternate universe.

I lived in New York City for such a long time, but that was ages ago;

Memories of my first audition, my fantasy apartment (a gorgeous doorman building along Central Park West), and all of the feelings of desperately wanting to “make it”!

As I passed from street to street I could feel myself relax. I’m not sure if I’d still use the phrase “make it”, but I realized I had done something more rewarding:

Everyday I wake up and get to do what I love. When I was twebty-one and living in the city, I undoubtedly took that for granted. Now, I can appreciate the journey that I’ve had thus far; I accept the truths—I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be at forty-one; still, twenty years later I’m precisely where I’m meant to be!

Start Spreading The News!

I can’t believe I lived in New York City over fifteen years ago;

It feels like yesterday I was over paying (more than I earned) for a tiny studio apartment and a gym membership—the two necessities as a twenty-something aspiring actor.

Now, I return to the Big City to teach up-and-coming artists!

Undoubtedly, I will find time to see a few Broadway shows and devour a many delicious dinners with friends!

Time To Go Home:

Lights out;
The stars are up and so am I.
Another curtain closes;
A new adventure begins, today.

Life On Tour (Again) Day 4

Yesterday, I hiked to the top of massive boulder––and up half way up the piney fresh mountain that stands majestic behind our hotel––all before a work event;
I gazed out over the stunningly sweeping views of Lake Tahoe, took a deep breath and gave thanks for the gorgeous presence I felt, and then shot a dance video. . . I never stop working; sometimes the job is easy.

Life On Tour (Again) Day 3

I always forget how fast time goes when I’m on the road;
Too busy to think, I go from my hotel room to the theater and back day and night.
Thankfully, I find moments to sneak outside and enjoy the beautiful Tahoe air.
It helps that I’m working with a group of people who bring me joy.
Laughing through the long daze.

Life On Tour (Again) Day 2

There is a 24-Hour Starbucks two blocks away;
My most loyal comfort on the road!

Life on Tour (Again) Day 1

I fell asleep at 1AM;
Wake up call at 5AM;
Fourteen hours in a theater;
Who said this job was glamorous?

Traveling, Tahoe

survive on four hours of sleep each night.

I’ll spend the next three weeks choreographing, teaching, promoting my new book, Dancing Out of the Closet—now available on Amazon—and socializing with many cocktails and too little rest. This is the life I signed up for.

Living the dream; sometimes lonely, often hectic, mostly happy, always grateful.

Packing:

Life on the road means life in a bag. . .
Weather in different regions;
Fancy events;
Days near a pool;
Rehearsals in studios;
Plan accordingly!

Friday Feelings:

Eight hours of sleep, I’m well-rested and ready for a fabulous day off!
. . . .Before my three-week choreography, convention extravaganza.

Deep Breath:

I woke up feeling beaten down;
My body is desperate for a massage!
Aching for sleep and a stress-free day;
Working through the overwhelming list of projects to complete before the fall.
Remembering back to when a chaotic schedule felt like I was “making things happen”;
Now, I just long for a deep breath––in through the nose and out through the mouth: release and return to the present.

Which Is Worse?

Waiting for my expensive high-speed Internet to load, so that I can complete my work;
Or. . .
Being placed on hold for forty minutes with AT&T, only to get transferred to someone who can’t understand anything I’m saying?

When You Wake Up...

On your day off to find a dozen work emails that all have: URGENT in the Subject line. . .
You grab a cup of coffee, head out to your balcony with your husband, puppies, and a laptop and take care of business under the luscious California sky.
Everyone in LA knows that work never ends.
I’m dedicated to finding the joy in every task; present and grateful for the opportunities that continue to flow my way.
That’s the difference between twenty-year-old me; and forty-year-old me:
I’m FINALLY okay with whatever rolls my way!

Trash TV:

Of all my guilty pleasures, Reality TV is my crack cocaine.
The despicably gratuitous display of terrible behavior, irrationally inflated egos, and putrid personalities appeals to my stunted, middle school mindset.
Watching “real” people who are aware that a camera is following them, and still they go out of their way to provoke reactions from their “co-stars”, all for 15 minutes of fame. . .
It might not be great for humanity, but it’s a fun distraction from reality.

Brunch:

Overpriced––but deliciously prepared––eggs;
Laughter over lattes;
Sitting too long at a table, because we overpaid for everything.

Rest:

Lying on the floor;
Pretending to stretch, whilst watching trash TV,
Lazy and unapologetic!

6 years; 17. . . But Who's Counting?

I met the man of my dreams seventeen years ago.
I recognized instantly that I found a partner who was loving, kind, intelligent, hilarious, creative, and committed to evolving with someone as an equal.
I swooped in and locked it down.
Six years ago today, we made it official––Democracy prevails.
While we have our ups and downs—as all relationships do—we have a piece of paper that legal declares that we are committed to working through the triumphs and tribulations of life, together!

Late!

I’m unrelenting when it comes to accountability!
Whether class, dinner party, audition, meeting, doctors appointment, lunch date, or a performance you show up *on time!
*On time is at least fifteen minutes early.
So today, when I had the time wrong––I thought I was working at 9AM, but it was supposed to be 8AM––I was thankful that I was already on route, and only fifteen minutes late!
Even when I have an accident in scheduling––a human error––I have #Professionalism.

Mercury Is In Retrograde:

I don’t know what this means––and I usually laugh my ass off when friends declare this aloud––but there must be something to it:
My computer continues to freeze for no reason––unless you factor in that it’s a 6 year old MacBook Pro;
Our production meetings were all canceled at the last minute––unless you take into consideration that summer schedules are crazy;
And I don’t feel motivated to do anything––unless it involves a pool.

Goodbyes:

Leaving loved ones is never enjoyable;
But the memories we created will live on and fuel me until the next time!

Colorado Sunrise

The vibrant blue sky presents the perfect backdrop for the explosion of fuchsia and tangerine rays bursting through the feathery clouds;
The cobalt purple mountains covered in various shades of green––from kiwi to evergreen––sweep downward to a valley of golden brush;
A herd of deer––so still you’d think they were fake––stand confidently welcoming the new day;
The only thing that confirms this isn’t a painted landscape is the delicious smell of morning mountain air!

Home; On the Range

The family that aims together, stays together.
Is that how the saying goes?
Probably not, but I was never good with cheesy slogans.
What I loved about today’s adventure is that I spent the day with my dad, my sister, and my niece without a single argument.
Instead, we bonded over bullets.
I believe in sensible gun control;
I also believe in being well-versed in everything.
Never wanting to have to defend myself, but fully prepared if the day should come.
We did a lot of bonding today.  I guess that’s what happens when you’re holding a powerful weapon in your hand; pointed in the right direction with clarity and focus, you hit the same target.

Family Time:

Focusing on the quality of time together;
Often requires breathing through the outburst.
It’s easy to fall into patterns from the past, but we’re older now, we can work through things from a place of positive, peaceful, energy.
I’ve spent a massive chunk of my adult life learning how to let go;
Sometimes members of our family can challenge us in way that make us crazy;
Releasing the subconscious actions from those we love, allows room for acceptance, understanding, love, and laughter!

Airport

Always here;

It’s a massive part of my career;

Red-eyes are the worst;

Packing and unpacking;

Oversold flights;

Rebooked;

Traveling is more enjoyable when you’re going to Maui.

Independence

The power of a choice.
Freedom, I don’t take it for granted.

Do Nothing Day:

Aside from waking up and transferring my worn-out body from the bed to the sofa to binge Netflix all day; my schedule is clear.

Tired

Totally
Irrational;
Raging,
Exhausted,
Done!

Work It!

Sitting at the airport—it’s 7AM;
I was just here last night—my life is often spent on the road.
Traveling is part of the job; I knew this when I decided to be an artist.
I was sitting here waiting to board our flight to go work for the day, and it dawned on me:
I enjoy the working, because it’s work I love.
Passion doesn’t always amount to monetary success in the beginning; but eventually the opportunities born out of following your purpose pays out exponentially!

Late Night Cable News

I’m a guilty addict;
Another political cycle glued to CNN;
Falling asleep to the sound of Anderson Cooper––his nerdy, intelligent voice lulls me to sleep––which is good, because I have to teach in less than five hours.

Mesmerized by Insanity:

The orange blob repeating idiotic statements in the hopes of making them true;
Barely speaking English, whilst mocking those seeking safety;
Tragically uneducated and egotistically condescending;
I can’t stop watching in shock––people actually support this lunatic; I’m related to a few. . .

Watching Fox News:

Is like watching a soap opera in the 80s;
Lies, scandal, forced drama, and blonde “leading ladies” (AKA co-hosts) standing up for abusive, cheating, racist men.

Back on the Road:

My second home is the airport;
It might not be where the heart is, but it’s absolutely where the cash is!
The life of an artist on tour. . .

That's The Breaks. . .

When the light goes off on the dashboard of your fancy-pants luxury vehicle, you panic.
Then, you schedule an appointment at your trusted neighborhood mechanic and face the facts: you need new breaks––and because you decided to buy a car that is out of your league, you have to replace the rotors, too!
That’s the breaks!

Awakening

On our airplane ride to Maui my husband and I sat next to each other,
but felt a world apart.
On our return home, we sat rows apart, but never felt closer.
Our vacation in paradise was the perfect retreat into ourselves.
Relationships evolve in two ways: together or apart.
That journey depends on the willingness of the parties involved.
After seventeen years, I’m grateful that I found a partner that is willing to do the dirty work––even on vacation––to laugh through the stormy skies and cry in the sun.

Hawaii Day 7; 2019

In the serene stillness of the sunset;
we connected; again.
Finding our way back to light;
Just as the darkness set.
Our trip to Maui was the ‘reset’ we needed.

Hawaii Day 6; 2019

Sometimes you disagree in paradise;
The heat from the sun and Lava Flows can cause the body to feel exhausted;
Communication breaks down––and tempers flare.
Thankfully, there’s a tranquil ocean to dive in and cool off.
It’s really hard to be upset in Hawaii, but it happens, and that’s okay, too.
The key is to release the negativity and welcome the healing energy of the sea!

Hawaii Day 5; 2019

Fancy hotel cocktails are delicious;
You can feed a family of four at Olive Garden or enjoy an adult beverage on Maui.
Hypnotized by the rolling sea;
I drank, too many Lava Flows in Hawaii.
My bank account and midsection will punish me later. . .

Hawaii Day 4; 2019

Surrounded by the richest blues and greens floating in the water;
Above me, images from childhood, visions of my future, and gratitude to God for the clouds sailing past and off into the horizon.
Vibrant, fragrant flowers filled the air with the scent of paradise;
I’m in Heaven;
I know my time here is short, but for now, back to the present.

Hawaii Day 3; 2019

Last night we tried a restaurant, which came highly recommended from a yogi friend of ours; ironically, when we Googled “Best Happy Hour’s on Maui”, Monkeypod Kitchen was number 1.
So, we drove the (less than) one mile from our condo to the hotspot we’d never heard of and cozied up to the bar.
Firstly, all of the food is farm-to-table fresh, and EVERYTHING––with the exception of the flour imported from Italy and the olive oil imported from California––comes from the island of Maui and is prepared daily in their kitchen!
The food was melt-in-your-mouth and make-a-mess-in-your-pants, DELICIOUS!
The drinks were equally well-crafted, specific, and sensational.
Whilst we were enjoying our dinner, we made small talk with the straight couple sitting next to us. We briefly swapped raves over the dinner and took photos for each other.
When the couple got up to leave, they shook our hands and wished us a happy vacation.  We thought nothing more of it. . . .
Until we went to leave and asked for our bill.  Our server explained that the couple next to us and picked up our check!
That, is Hawaii.  The energy, love, generosity and spirit of life is everywhere.
We left full and feeling blessed!
Now, we’re off for another day of reading on the beach and soaking in the healing waters!
Aloha.

Hawaii Day 2; 2019

The morning started with a sunrise coffee talk; the birds decided to join in the conversation.
Meditation, journaling, and making out postcards to our loved ones; who doesn’t like receiving Aloha from Hawaii?
Walking to the beach, I found joy in the present.
Lying on the beach reading my historical novel; the sound of calm, rolling waves  lured me in;
Floating in the healing waters, I felt recharged.
Now, a blog post and a nap.
Tonight, who knows?  I’m sure I’ll go wherever the Lava Flows!

Hawaii Day 1; 2019

Waking up to the chipper songs from the birds in the trees;
Coffee with a side of journaling and Eckhart Tolle on the balcony;
Couples conversation––checking in for positive change;
A walk to the beach: sun, sand, a new novel, floating in the crystal blue sea;
The lavender farm for a photo shoot, tea and scones, and an abundance of essential oil;
Back to the condo for a quick trip to the pool––we had to watch the sun go down somewhere!
Now: Netflix and a Lava Flow;
Hawaii is my home-away-from-home!

Packed

My bag is stuffed with shorts, T-shirts, swimsuits, sunscreen, and books;
My vacation begins following a calm yoga class;
Headed to Hawaii with my bug:
One week; no work; no stress; just heavenly island bliss… .
Bring on the Lava Flows!

Brunch On Sunset

The socked in marine layer hovering just above the city skyline on a breezy Sunday morning provides the perfect backdrop for Norman, who is sitting on the terrace of the impeccably styled restaurant connected to the elegant ArtDeco Sunset Strip hotel.
It’s Father’s Day, so naturally our friend’s father offered to take all of us out for brunch.
Isn’t if funny? Dads never catch a break.
Their wallet is like the bank account that charges no interest and expects no return on payment.
Happily laughing, conversing, consulting, and encouraging; dads offer support and wisdom––unconditionally.
It was a joyous, delicious, brunch.

Getting Down on my Weekends:

. . . . Downward dog, that is.
As a child I spent my weekend mornings watching cartoons, whilst shoveling massive amounts of cereal loaded with granulated sugar.
As a teenager, I was held captive in a dance studio all weekend long––working on my technique, whilst hiding from my sexuality.
As an adult, I enjoy the peaceful meditation I find in my yoga practice, whilst working through the issues from my childhood and teenage years;
Evolution, ya know?

Overload:

Writing,
Emailing,
Posting,
Promoting,
Training,
Meditating,
Reminder to myself: I need to breath more,
Haircut,
Packing,
Re-reading my manuscript before it goes to press,
Taking care of my puppies,
Yoga,
Seriously, Matthew: Breath!
Submit proposal for next year’s classes,
Pre-production for Matilda,
Phone calls,
Post office,
Find a puppy-sitter,
I’m in full meltdown mode. . . .

Folding Laundry:

Depending on my mindset, folding laundry can either be a Zen meditation or a criminal interrogation.
As a teenager, laundry was one of the chores given to punish me––although my parents would probably disagree with that declaration.
In my twenties, I spent hours at a laundromat––and hated every sweaty, dirty, moment of it.
Now, I have my own house with a washer and dryer; I can do fluff-n-fold whenever I please; still, I’m tortured with stacks of smelly yoga clothes.
I guess I found the one downside of practicing yoga daily.
Namaste.

Lazy

Lying in bed; still.

Awake, but enjoying a guiltless, lazy day.

Zero guilt; I’m refueling my creative energy.

Yes, I feel blessed.

That Gorgeous Feeling:

Crossing off every item on your “To Do” list before noon;
It’s like saying, “Take that––day!  I conquered you! I know you’ll be back tomorrow with twice as many demands. Guess what, I don’t have to think about  that now, because I practice yoga!”

One Word:

Diversify!

Heavenly

Mountain air cuts crisp against my skin; pine infused exfoliation—nature’s facial.

The skies are a shade of blue that exists in paintings—or a technicolor soundstage—utterly awesome.

Surrounded by beauty; everyone walks with a smile on their face.

This is heavenly.

Pride:

Waking up without fear.

Trusting that who you are, is enough.

Knowing that normal, is not reality; we’re all unique.

Accepting yourself unconditionally.

Living life with purpose, integrity, compassion, and love.

Awareness:

Mindfully acknowledging what is;

Sharing positive energy with the people who occupy the space around you.

Conscious of the unconscious!

Radiant Light

Energized by the rays pouring through my bedroom window, I rolled out of bed.

Lily—our Shih Tzu—was waiting at the front door; time for a walk to Starbucks.

Even dogs understand the power of radiant light.

Some Days. . . .

You just walk away from everything;
Casually strolling down a path––ending unknown.
Releasing expectations;
Embracing what is.

Life Hack:

When you wake up sad; head to YouTube and Google search: “People falling.”
You’re welcome.

Fear

It’s that time of year, when I allow other people’s insecurities into my head and enable doubt to take over.

My new book, Dancing Out of the Closet is coming out soon, which always invites questions; (a good thing), but encourages me to overthink my game plan.

I did my job: I wrote a book from the heart and poured every ounce of honesty, humor, and healing thoughts; it found a publisher; it’s evening printed and distributed; there is nothing to fear… .regardless of the outcome, I shared my truth and sold my work. That is the path of an artist.

Out of Darkness:

Light; to clear the path.
Freedom; from fear.
Presence; to make the right choice.

Rage:

The toxic energy fills your body;
Causing you to live in a state of perpetual negativity.
Sad, angry, disappointed, powerless, betrayed, helpless;
All understandable, yet unchanging.
The only power or control we have is to let it go and move on; trusting that this moment is meant to teach us something that we will be prepared for in the future.
I’m made as hell, but that won’t change the circumstance––and yes, I’m furious that someone is getting away with something so egregious––but that’s life.
On to the next!

Current Mood in One Word:

Satisfied.

Teeth Cleaning

Peeling off the layer of coffee from the past six months;
A healthy smile is the key to a healthy heart!
Seriously, your oral health care plays a major role in your cardiovascular health!
Say hello to a dentist and enjoy a bright life.
Also, I drink too much coffee!

My Office:

Sitting in the cozy club chair in my study;
The window is open to the gorgeous spring air.
My hands are typing against the keyboard of my MacBook Pro to the happy tune the birds are chirping outside.
Work is so much more enjoyable when you create a peaceful, inspiring environment.

Six Word Essay on Leaf-blowers:

I loath environmentally unfriendly alarm clocks!

Trust The Path:

I’ve been declaring––for years––that I trust my path;
Acknowledging that I have had a brilliant journey; and continue to enjoy the adventures and opportunities that come from faith.
Writing it down in a daily journal and repeating it aloud––often––is only half of the work.
During my morning meditation, I realized how thankful I really am;
How truly fortunate I’ve been.
Not only am I living a version of the dream I’ve had since childhood; but I’m able to understand that, through faith, tenacity, and trust I will continue to find my path.
I’m also ready to honestly step back and surrender to this next chapter in my life.  Turning forty gave me the space to understand that I don't have to push for everything.  I have the permission to release control.
That is authentic trust.

Happy To Be Home:

My puppies snuggled next to me in bed;
My hubby happily side-by-side;
Waking up to coffee and cartoons;
A quick walk to Starbucks before yoga:
Downward dog followed by red light therapy (I’m giving myself 6 months to rejuvenate!);
Studio School BBQ hosted by my friend;
Jump in the pool before binge-watching Netflix:
It’s great to be home!

Back to LA

My time in New England has come to an end;
I need to get back to the land of organic fresh pressed superficiality:
AKA
A diet!
I’ve indulged in fried foods, delicious proteins covered in butter, and more alcohol than my liver can handle.
Now, I need to hit a yoga mat and drink a kale smoothie!

iPhoto–oh–no!

My type-A personality––married with my obsession on being able to pull up a visual aid in the form of a photo from my past––has lead me to create a chronological photo album, which I keep updated (daily) on my iPhone.
Last night, I went to bed syncing my iPhone to my iPhoto account;
This morning, I woke up to a crashed iTunes account and an empty iPhoto library.
PHOTOgetaboutit!
All of my precious memories vanished before my eyes.
If the photos are erased, did the picture really happen?
Yes, and thankfully––after a hard restore to both my iPhone and MacBook Pro––I regained my photo diary.
Which had me questioning my obsession:
Do I really need these photos to remember the brilliant achievements I’ve had in my life?
Honestly, would I ever forget a magnificent moment?
Are these photos a security blanket for my ego?
Yes; probably, and absolutely!
Thank God they’re back.
Time to update these to the Cloud!

An Adventure. . .

Into Boston:
Bar crawl;
Museums;
The Freedom Trail;
Shopping;
and food––a lot of food!
Living in the moment.

Six Word Essay on Sleep:

My rejuvenated body awakens with gratitude.

Quite House:

Sitting in the gorgeous silence;
Stillness awakens my soul;
Creative ideas stir and the volume intensifies.
From the peaceful meditative mindset, I find purpose; and my passion restored.

Monday; Sun_Day!

I have the entire day off;
I’m out of town, which means I don’t feel obligated to “do” anything!
The sun is out and the cooler is full of adult beverages. . .
My Monday just became an extended SUNday!

Tribute:

Talking on stage has never been a challenge for me;
Tonight, I have the privilege of speaking at an event that honors one of the leaders in the dance industry.
Nancy Chippendale’s passion, professionalism, creativity, and personality has impacted the lives of countless dancers, choreographers, and educators.
To open a dance studio that produces artists who will work in the industry, is a challenge; to maintain that legacy for 40 years––is an extraordinary accomplishment.

Morning Light

I woke up to blue skies, birds chirping, and a ray of light shining through the blackout curtains.
With absolutely nothing to do on my Saturday morning, I cozied up in the comfortable guest bed and read from, Chelsea Handler’s new book, “Life Will Be the Death of Me” and laughed my ass off.
It’s rare that I get a “do nothing day” where I actually do NOTHING.
Now, it’s time to hop in the shower and prepare for an evening of dancing, laughing, and indulging in celebratory drinks!
Happy 40th Anniversary Nancy Chippendale!

LAX

Cars backed up with raging drivers;

Passengers running to the terminal;

Airplanes liter the runway;

Where’s everyone going?!

Rain:

I’m bracing for a chilly summer in LA;
I don’t love the idea—after all, I live in Southern California for the sunny, tan, facade—but the mild, grey doom that lurks ahead, gives me something to breathe through.
Besides, Los Angeles is even more beautiful after a thorough washing!

Wednesday; Word:

Rejuvenated;
After a beautiful day off filled with yoga, a massage, and laughter—I’m ready to conquer the day!

Take A Break:

When you have twenty things on your list and forty more thoughts on you mind … .
Step back;
Breathe;
Grab a Starbucks coffee;
Unplug;
Read a book;
And give yourself some “free” time;
When we allow ourselves the space to refuel, our mind runs wiser!

Non-Reactive

The ability to breathe through every circumstance without judging it good or bad;

It is happening now: the present—a gift—so see it for what it is.

When we approach each moment from a positive perspective, we see the truth: every second is a gift and every experience is an opportunity to breath.

TSA PreCheck

Saved me again;

Never ending lines,

I flew right by.

Until:

I forgot to drink my water!

Back around the circle I go…

What a rat race.

Gratitude

Finding the joy in every aspect of life;

Breath is not a guarantee, it’s a blessing.

When the circumstances is less than pleasant, remember it could always be worse;

And in the darkest hour, it can only get brighter.

On The Road; Again

If you told ten-year-old me: “Your dreams will come true; but you’ll have to travel every weekend as part of the job”

No doubt, I would have responded with an enthusiastic thumbs up. After all, traveling is so glamorous.

Forty-one year old me is so grateful that my dreams came true; despite loathing getting on an airplane and living out of a bag.

It’s a small price to pay for following my passion.

Lying In Bed; Working

I might be comfortably resting on my lush pillow-top, king-sized mattress with Pottery Barn Egyptian cotton sheets;
But my mind is working overtime.
The creative process sparks ideas at the most inappropriate time;
But when a great idea is born––you grab your laptop and take notes.
The balance between overachieving and trusting that I can take a break, continue to create a constant power play with my mind.
Tonight, my compulsion to work overpowered my excitement to sleep.

Be Light:

In the darkness, evil thrives;
In light, we shine.

My Birthday Buddy

When I met the man of my dreams I knew we’d spend the rest of our lives side by side:

Laughing,

Loving,

Creating,

Producing,

Evolving,

Sharing adventures,

And… Birthdays, too?!

It was too good to be true!

My buggie’s birthday is only 3 days after mine; which means the party continues all week long!

Anyone who knows and loves a Taurus understands how fabulous this is!

Happy Birthday to my scene partner in life and art; Jeffrey, I love you so much.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

When my mom and stepdad come to town, we always spend a day in the Southbay.

Breakfast at Joes;

A stroll through the Redondo Beach pier;

And—time permitting—a visit with old friends.

Whilst I was standing on the bike path that cuts along the coastline, a flood of childhood memories came rushing back.

Not too long ago, my sister and I built sandcastles, surfed the waves, and spent too much time in the sun!

Yesterday, the cool sea breeze swept past my body and the whirlwind of emotions left a smile on my face.

Gramps Was Right!

My grandpa used to say, “I went to bed young, and I woke up old.”

I would roll my eyes and laugh; only half understanding what he was saying.

With each passing year, I realize his wisdom on a deeper level. I only wish he was still here on earth so that I could thank him properly.

I practice yoga; meditate; read; listen to podcasts; and seek inspiration from every circumstance—in the hope that I may defy the simple truth:

There’s no stopping time!

Be present. Enjoy every moment (even the “bad” ones). And be grateful for every breath.

41

It’s wild to think that forty-one years ago today I entered this world;

I’m sure I was an energetic ball of fire—I still am!

When I close my eyes and gaze back on the brilliant adventures I’ve enjoyed, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude.

I’m living a version of the dreams I held through adolescences; albeit more vibrant and worthy than I could have imagined.

The series of events, obstacles, triumphs, setbacks, and successes have shaped the man I am.

As I look to this 41st year, I’m inspired to continue growing, reaching, loving, laughing, and dreaming!

Yoga with Mom

Side by side on our mats;
My careful eye watching in the mirror to make sure she’s following the flow.
My mom used to drill flashcards to make sure I learned how to spell;
We were shopping buddies––we love a fancy department store––and indulge in a bag of soft, salty pretzels after a delicious day of overspending;
She has been to every show I’ve every performed in, directed, or choreographed;
We’ve traveled together, laughed together, disagree about politics;
But nothing will ever compare to the memory I’ll have of my mom in crow pose!
I was so proud that my mom stepped out of her comfort zone to explore the world of breath, mediation, and presence.
Yoga with mom was magical!

Spago

Delicious conversation;
Savory and sensational cuisine;
Laughter, creative planning, and a cameo by Wolfgang himself!
Let the birthday celebrations begin.

Hump Day:

Time to remember the goals I set for the week;
Let go of the stress thus far;
Smile, because life is short;
And prepare for my 41st Birthday!

Saying Goodbye:

A memorial service marking the loss of a bright light;
Honoring her love, creativity, wisdom, and no-nonsense life!

Back On My Mat:

Monday’s are my recharge days;

I get back into the yoga studio and down on my mat.

Breathing through the past;

Releasing the future;

Returning to the present!

Oatmeal

I feel healthy eating it;

While it doesn’t taste as good as a salty McMuffin—the heart-health option will keep me from getting my own muffin-top in my McMidsection!

Now:

This moment is the only one that matters, because it’s the only one that’s here.

A simple fact, that requires surrendering to what is; and nothing else.

The Power:

Of a haircut;

Like a new man, I emerge from the weight of limp, lifeless locks.

Short, tight, and styled just right;

I’m a new man—one week away from 41!

Wow, that year went fast.

Push

I woke up this morning with a checklist on my mind.
What an unrealistic way to approach life.
This habit that I’ve enabled most of my life is curbed with yoga, meditation, and the constant to return to the present.
No matter how hard you push a mountain, the earth moves when it’s ready.
Breathe and stop pushing.

The Project in Front of You:

Is the most important.

Creativity is a process, and every step on the journey matters.

Stay product rather than feeling busy.

Honor Your Vows

I told myself when I turned forty that I would ease up on myself;
I didn’t need to push so much;
Work so hard;
Or invest so deeply into every project.
Here I am a week away from forty-one, and I have not stayed true to my vow.
In fact, I’ve even regressed.  Back into that aggressive, hustling, overachiever.
I don’t like that person.  Of course that guy gets things accomplished, but does he enjoy the process?  NO.
Eckhart Tolle says (and I’m paraphrasing), “By acknowledging your fears, you return to the present.”
So there it is… .
I’ve said it. Now, I have to change it.
I want this decade to be filled with joy, creativity (because I’m passionate not pushing), and balance.
I know that I can achieve this; I MUST let go.
Trust, breathe, stay present.

Six Word Essay on The Day After Easter

Too much meat; detox is necessary!

Easter

As the years pass by—and loved ones pass on—the Easter celebration evolves.

Some traditions are broken; I miss my gram’s homemade pizzelles, potica, and fudge.

Some customs remain; dressing up for church and gathering for brunch with friends and family.

New rituals are made; shampooing our carpets! With an elderly Yorkie, it was long overdue.

Whilst I was hiding Easter eggs in the backyard of one of my closest friends, I grew sad. It reminded me of my youth—and the joy that came from gathering with loved ones.

I’ve missed so many holidays with my niece and my sister. Then I remembered how special it is when they come to visit us in LA. Trips to the beach, swimming in our pool, and Disneyland—all bonding moments.

I also realized how fortunate I am to have my husband, our doggies, and a group of lifelong friends and their children! Home is where the heart is; love is found in those you surround yourself with, and I am blessed.

Passover

I could never Passover the opportunity to gather around a feast with friends and family;

Every year I dive deeper into my Faith;

And the brisket!

I Breathe; Therefore I Am.

Standing on my mat, grounded;
The energy beside me was disconnected.
This is why I practice.
When the world around you is violently spinning out of control: breathe.
When the universe brings you endless amounts of passion, energy, and joy: breathe.
When you wake up: breathe.
Be present and breathe.

Rest:

Three glorious days;
No work.
Eat, lay, yoga.
Passover and Easter; I believe in equality.
I need this break, and it begins now. . . .

Breathe In This Moment

There is nothing in the past or future that we can change;

A scary truth, yet so liberating.

That’s the power of NOW!

I breathe in and exhale;

I return to the present and trust that this moment is enough.

I Have A Choice:

Sometimes I forget this fact.

I allow myself to react, when I know that I could breathe instead.

It’s impossible to be angry in the present moment; the realization that the past is over—why worry about the future, and why be upset with anything now?

Let it go and return to this moment.

Here I find release and trust; everything resolves itself as it should.

Monday

Mindfully,
Open.
New
Directions;
Always
Yearning.

Bags:

Under my eyes and in my hotel room;

Can only mean one thing:

Another weekend on tour is wrapping up!

Loaded with creativity;

In desperate search of sleep…

The glamorous life.

Seeing Red...

The lack of sleep, coupled with the fact that I have to be positive today has me cranky and irritable.

I have to take a deep breath and remember how rough it used to be…

My life has been elevated;

It won’t always be easy, but I have a brilliant career;

Often, that means smiling when I want to cry.

I’m seeing red, but I’m going to roll out of bed and have a fabulous day!

I hope…

Construction in LA at 7:30AM

Clang, clang, clang went the hammer;
Shout, shout, shout went the foreman;
Yell, yell, yell, went the neighbor;
Who would have guessed how musical construction work in LA could be?

One Word:

Exacerbate.

Why I Yoga:

Feeling overwhelmed;

Trying to cross things off lists;

I accept that I cannot do everything.

Weighted with demands that need to be answered;

I take a deep breath and head to the studio:

Get on the mat and breath.

Returning to the present;

I find clarity and light.

Six Word Essay On Finishing A Task:

A sigh of relief; euphoric bliss!

Monday On My Mat:

The first breath on my yoga mat is a reminder of how easy it is to be present;

My hands gripping and feet fanning out,

I hit downward dog and the blood energizes my body, mind, and soul;

The peaceful vibes flow.

Yoga is my comfort.

Sunday, Goodbye:

A day at the beach;

The perfect place to say farewell to a lifelong friend;

They’re getting out of LA; can you blame them?

The years of laughter, adventures, and passionate debates…

I know our paths will cross many more times in this life, I just hate saying goodbye.

The ocean is a reminder that waves come and go, in a cyclical manner—our friendship will endure the distance, too!

Saturday Sunshine:

The bright blue sky,

The rolling hills are a vibrant, gradient green;

My soul smiles with gratitude;

Thank you Mother Earth.

I love LA!

Spa Meeting

The hydro massage on my lower back, whilst discussing Act I of our new musical, gave way to a magical idea… Perhaps all of our creative meetings should be held in a hot tub!

Inspired

When you start to doubt your path or question the worthiness of your present;
Take yourself to the theater.
Last night, I had the privilege of watching two of my best friends perform in Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.
The emotionally charged program filled my soul with sadness––looking back at the baggage of our ancestral history––whilst simultaneously inspiring hope among the culturally diverse audience.
Most importantly, I left the theater with a newfound sense of gratitude, for the men and women who used their horrifically, painful past to enlighten and remind us that we can do better.
The power of art is never lost on me.

See Past the Conflict

In every unpleasant circumstance;

There is a lack of communication.

In every conflict;

See past the pain—a fellow human trying the best they can.

Let It Go.

A small betrayal;

Perhaps innocent—potentially premeditated;

A disappointing discovery, either way.

I hold the power;

Disband the partnership and lose a friend in the process?

Or

Release the drama and proceed as planned, with caution.

It requires the ultimate act of faith;

Let it go!

Reunion Week!

New York,

Los Angeles,

And the U.K.

A gathering of friends old and new;

Swapping stories from our past—laughing our asses off.

Sharing creative ideas and celebrating the journey we’ve shared;

Setting our sights on brilliant new adventures!

A Hotel Room In Denver:

Sitting in my hotel room bed, gazing out of the window;
The snowcapped, Rocky Mountain’s are a stunning.
A flashback to my childhood, adventures with my family in Colorado.
It’s an unpleasant feeling to be in the city where loved ones live, and not see them.
Conflicting schedules keep us apart in a city we’re only miles away. . .

Six Word Essay on Aging

Confident, accomplished, fearless; always achy body.

Deep Breath; Let Go

The energy in my body is toxic;
I’ve stopped consciously breathing and allowed anger, fear, frustration to invade.
The power of the present is in releasing everything;
Every moment is a fresh opportunity.

Aging Puppy. . .

I’m watching my dog scratch and spin around on the bed;
She’s 15 years old, so I imagine that finding comfort is even harder than it used to be.
Ginger is an adorable little princess;
It’s hard watching her struggle, but as long as she gets excited when she hears the word, “Cookie”, I’m happy!
Of course, you have to shout the word and inch from her face. . . .
Why don’t they make puppy hearing aids?

Love:

Expressing it in words means nothing if the person receiving it, doesn’t feel it.

It’s an old cliche, but still true:

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Show someone you love them today!

Puppy Cuts:

Our dogs hate going to the groomers;

But we love their adorably clean faces…

So off to the doggy spa we go!

In just two hours: little puppies born again with fresh tight cuts.

Six Word Essay on Monday Morning Yoga

Mind, body, soul; the mat calls!

The Theatre

I sit in darkness; judging.
That’s literally my job: adjudicating aspiring artists.
Agitated at the current trend in artistic integrity;
Which is yo say that—as far as I can see—there is no integrity.
Blue in the face, I constantly reiterate my thoughts:
Focus on the story, build on the technique, cultivate a career.
Instead, I endure an endless barrage of tilt crotch shots, sickled passés, and gratuitous grinding… .
What is happening to the theatre?!

Watery Oatmeal

Runny,
Glue-like flavor;
Why did I pay for this?
Starving and feeding my “Rockstar” evening;
I swallow the lumpy, watery, concoction:
Unhappy but fed.

Hot Tub

Thank you for helping me cope.
Your warm energy and soothing bubbles whisper calming thoughts in my ear and heal my body simultaneously.

Six Word Essay on Guest Speakers

Absorb knowledge, share energy, evolve wisely.

Get To Class

Early morning yoga, feelingbthe breath and length in my body;

No line at Starbucks?! It’s a stress free day!

Headed to inspire the creative minds of the next generation; class starts at 8—don’t be late!

It's A Fact:

Reading before bed leads to a healthier night’s sleep….Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Six Word Essay on Work

Brilliant ideas always require more effort.

Six Word Essay on Work

Brilliant ideas always require more effort.

Sunny LA

After eight delicious hours of sleep, I woke up feeling slightly more myself.

Feeling inspired, I rolled myself out of bed and headed to yoga;

The moment I hit my mat, the jet lag from an 11 hour return flight home from London rolled in like a fog.

Thankfully, I have the weekend and off and the California sky is deep blue; a perfect opportunity to lounge by the pool and sleep.

LA to UK 2019; Travel Day Home

Another successful trip to the UK!

Sharing my passion with the talented artists at Move It and University Centre Weston;

Collaborating with colleagues;

Swapping ideas;

Expanding creative ventures;

Exploring innovative concepts in production and education;

All whilst laughing, eating, drinking, and living our best lives!

Now, onto a full flight back to LA!

LA to UK 2019; Day 9

Cheddar cheese, in Cheddar, England;

Cream tea in the Gorge Cafe;

A trip to Cardiff, Wales to see The Full Monty;

A bus full of musical theater majors singing at the top of their lungs;

The perfect day off on our last day in the UK!

LA to UK 2019; Day 8

I can’t get on Instagram or Facebook;

Apparently there’s a worldwide outage!

If I don’t post a video of today’s workshop, did it really exist?

LA to UK 2019; Day 7

Bath, Spa.

UK holiday, whilst working;

Passion, creativity, adventure,

Follow your dreams, refuse to hear “no”, work your ass off;

Break when needed.

LA to UK 2019; Day 6

I spent my morning on a video shoot in a beautiful seaside setting;

My afternoon sharing insight with actors in a lecture and on-camera class;

My evening was filled with laughter, drinks, and dinner in a very British pub.

LA to UK 2019; Day 5

The show is over;

My work is done;

Tomorrow I work with conservatory students,

Creating content—musical theater fun.

LA to UK 2019; Day 4

The motivation to create, share, and inspire fuels me past the lack of sleep, aches, and pains that come from age.
Incredibly grateful for my career opportunities and collaborative crew!

LA to UK 2019; Day 3

A backstage press interview;
One master class;
Two seminars;
And a full day of reconnecting with lifelong industry friends… with a genuinely gigantic smile on my face.
All on two hours sleep. Why?
Apparently after turning 40 you lose the ability to bounce back from jet lag;
But the name of this game is enthusiastic endurance; it’s how a working artist evolves creatively, while staying true to their game!

LA to UK 2019; Day 2

A show on the West End last night;
Matilda, lead a brilliant revolt!
Inspiration and industry:
Directing and choreographing our own production.
Late night Italian dinner in the heart of SoHo,
because carbs after a 12 hour flight and a show on West End ensures a perfect night’s sleep.
Today: up and ready for an adventure in London;
Yoga (of course),
Sightseeing,
Shopping,
And yes, another show!

LA to UK 2019; Day 1

Still thousands of miles in the sky;
The flight is always a touch more uncomfortable than you want it to be.
The unlimited alcohol helps.
Once in London,
We’ll hit the ground running.
Dinner and show, then plenty of sleep.
Wiser this time around,
We padded our trip with a full day of rest!

LA to UK 2019; Travel Day

My bags are packed;
Our puppies are pissed;
I’m ready for a fabulous adventure in the UK;
If only I didn’t have to spend 12 hours in Economy class to get there.
The glamorous life of an artist on tour;
They can’t all be 1st Class adventures––actually it’s probably for the best––every journey is a growing opportunity;
Delighted to share the stage with my husband, Jeff, and my manager, Michelle;
Let the expedition begin!

Ginger Licks; Constantly

I’ll miss the gentle lap of her tongue;

The heinously offensive $hit breath, which leaves a trail wherever she goes… . Yes, I’ll miss that, too.

She’s getting older,

She’s starting to let go;

I’m devouring every moment with her.

Memories

Thanks to the generosity of a yogi and friend who couldn’t use her Orchestra center tickets for the matinee of Cats playing at the Hollywood Pantages Theater, Jeff and I got to indulge our theatrical side;
Sitting in the majestic lobby of the Pantages enjoying a cocktail pre-show, Jeff and I shared our Memories of the prancing musical production.
The songs are like catnip (I seriously can’t help it) for my inner theater soul.
The orchestra played the first synthesized note and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical mayhem came flooding back.
My childhood:
Watching the dancer–actor–singers on stage twirling, belting, and bouncing around the stage––which was transformed into a junkyard––was exhilarating.
I staged my own production of “Mad Cats” to avoid copyright infringement, when I was a senior in high school; naturally, I (re)wrote, directed, choreographed, and starred in the production. . . More about that in my new book, “Dancing Out of the Closet” (seamless plug), which will be released Summer 2019!
Now, as an adult, I watched the re-choreographed production.  I used to take class and work with Andy Blankenbeuhler––who did a brilliant job of maintaining the integrity of the show, but bringing it into the 21st Century.
I sat in the theater with my smile (from ear to ear) throughout the entire production.
Is it the perfect musical? NO. But it engaged a side of my imagination as a young boy, and I’m delighted to report that the nostalgia and creative inspiration came bounding back after lapping up the new production of Cats!

Another Rainy Day...

We need the rain;

Our air quality improves;

There’s green everywhere;

I’m sick of it!

Grey skies leaves my with wet eyes:

Depression sets in—I’m an otherwise obsessively joyful person.

Don’t worry, I leave for the U.K. next week—we’re sure to enjoy sunny skies there!

Paying Bills

Doesn’t make me feel like an adult;
It reminds me that I spend, too much!
Also, I hear the Abba lyrics:
“I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay. . .”
It’s a rich man’s world.

Waiting. . .

Has never been my strongest attribute;
When caffeine is involved, I’m downright impossible.
I believe in virtues; patients is not one of them!

Class--Y

Choreograph II;

Writing;

Feeling incredibly responsible…

I’m mentoring a new generation of artists;

Hopefully they’re listening to my words of wisdom and ignoring my imperfections!

That Feeling...

When you’ve crossed off all of your daily tasks;

And you’re ready to plop on the couch and cuddle with your puppies.

Six Word Essay on Choreography

The world; more vibrant with dance!

Past My Bed Time

Twelve hours in a theater and a two hour car ride back to LA;
I’m sitting on my couch, stuck in that twilight buzz that comes from spending the day choreographing in a room with music blaring;
I’m attending an OSCAR party later today––I have to look my best––yet here I sit watching a recording of Friday’s episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, while writing a blog.
No doubt I’ll fall asleep just in time to wake up for my 7 a.m. yoga class.

Self-Promotion

The act of sharing your accomplishments;
Often referred to as shameless;
If you’re not excited to promote your work,
Who’ll be eager to enjoy it?
Passion and creativity are motivating factors,
But would we know Van Gogh, had he not cut off his own ear?
Maybe, but wow, what great publicity?!
#DontCutOffYourEar!

Wake Up

The earlier I start my day,
The more time I have to play;
I’ve decided that cheap rhymes are acceptable before 6 a.m.
I’ll be more creativity after yoga!

Impromptu

A trip to LACMA inspired more art. . .
Buying tickets for a show two hours before curtain;
A fancy dinner downtown;
Delicious conversation over cocktails;
A cultural day in LA with my family!

Six Word Essay on Yoga

I’m up; ready to get down!

Sun

Lounging in the LA sun;

Lily sits happily in my lap.

The crisp winter breeze rustles through the Palm trees swaying overhead.

My Starbucks cup is full;

Life is perfect.

Social Media Smackdown

The constant condescension and bullshit lies that are spread on social media—from either side of the aisle—are uneducated, fear-based, and not going to serve our country in any way.

I went off on members of my own family who are so anxious to jump on a political bandwagon, without thought or education on the matters at hand.

Sheep who need sheared; the wool is so far over their eyes they’re blind to their ignorance.

Burnt Black Coffee:

When you have an early wake-up call and have to teach four classes in a row;
The hotel room coffeemaker is your friend;
The burnt black coffee it more like a frienamie...
I need the caffeine, so I make peace with the lackluster, non-fancy java.

Snow, Thanks.

A fluffy blanket of velveteen snow covers the charming brick buildings of downtown Minneapolis;
Warm and cozy in my hotel bed, I gaze at the flickering lights that peek out from under the porcelain powder;
People wrapped in Arctic gear scurry from shop to shop, they look like bears gathering food.
I chug my hot coffee, smile, and remember how fortunate I am that my classes are in the ballroom downstairs: I don’t have to leave this building.

Travel Day

Loading a morning full of tasks and projects;
Racing to squeeze in yoga;
Quickly showering and grabbing a snack;
My pre-packed bag ready at the door;
A quick goodbye to my puppies;
Off to the airport I go!
… But first, traffic on the 405.
It must be a travel day.

Abundant Love

Smothered in unconditional acceptance;
I embrace the people in my life who continue to encourage me.
Selflessly supporting my dreams, sharing my victories, nurturing my wounds, embracing my evolution as an artist and human;
The abundant love I feel is matched with gratitude and reciprocated with equal parts adoration, respect, and limitless support.

Enter; Now.

Returning to the present moment is as simple or as challenging as we allow it to be.
Yesterday, I encouraged negative thought in search of permission to escape my fears;
Feeling sorry for myself, which never leads to creativity or growth.
Waking up, I remembered the importance of faith; trusting my path always leads to purpose.
I release the comfort and ease, which is born from insecurity—I close my eyes, inhale, and reset my focus on light.

Six Word Essay; Days Off:

Sleeping in is wasteful; and necessary!

Monday

Morning yoga on my mat;
Starbucks coffee and friendly chat;
Cheesy rhyming poems:
Bring creativity doesn’t have to highbrow!

The Beverly Hills Hotel

Pink and green;
Troop Beverly;
People watching;
Overspending On delicious food and handcrafted cocktails;
Fabulous conversation!

Rude

Those who take advantage of your time might be the most selfish, disrespectful people in the planet.

Especially at yoga!

Cut The Cord:

When you’re holding on to something (or someone) who’s pulling you down;
Cut the cord!
There’s nothing admirable about going down with a ship that doesn’t want to be saved.

You Can Ring My Bell:

A phone call for a project;
Total artistic control;
A very doable budget;
Directing and choreographing?!
No, it’s not a dream––it’s a dream job, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity!
#DetailsToFollow

Bright And Early:

I sit in contemplation;
My mat is my island;
Visualizing the sun rising in my mind as I move into downward dog:
I am present.

Stillness Speaks

I sit in the stillness of my sleeping house;
The silence is loud but gentle.
I find space to float in deep meditation;
My energy turns from distant thoughts to presence:
I am enough.

Monday

After getting down on my yoga mat at 6AM,

I was motivated to jump start my workweek.

Creative projects, work meetings, household duties, returning emails, rolling calls, grading papers, setting choreography, reading, editing scripts, and yes––I even found time to cuddle my doggies.

Balance requires focusing on the moment in front of you.

Present and ready for the crazy that lies ahead. . .

Soggy, Rainy, Cozy;

Relentless and wild, the rain continues to douse Los Angeles;

Our streets look like the canals of Venice.

Cozy inside, I gaze at the fireplace;

Lily, our Shih Tzu is curled up on the couch, pouting.

“Lily, we’re not walking in the storm.” I try to reason with her…

Nobody wants soggy shoes or soaked paws.

The patter on our roof is restful;

We doze off.

Lazy Sunday.

Rain

Renewing
Air quality;
Invoking
New growth

Thai Last Night...

Tummy trouble today.
I remember my twenties;
I could eat anything I wanted and never feel a thing.
Forty says, “You have more—money, opportunities, confidence, fearlessness, knowledge—but you’ll pay for it by losing the pleasures of food, drinking, and partying until 2AM. Who can stay up that late?

Thunder In LA:

Is like an A-List actress over 40 walking around without makeup on…

It rarely happens.

Both produce a dramatically frightening reaction from most people…

Beautifully, wild and raw—I love Mother Nature.

One Word:

Motivated!

Meeting of the Minds:

Creativity inspires productivity.
When you collaborate with likeminded people,
the energy is vibrant.

Back In LA:

Sunshine, palm trees, traffic;
You take the good with the bad;
Yoga helps!
#SoLA

Betrayal

Waiting for a call, which never came;
Trusting a friend when they told you, “Nothing changes.”
Waking up to a post on social media, realizing you’ve been replaced without notice.
Instagram reveals all.

Rested

Turning in early last night was a conscious choice;
Do I want to spend another day feeling utterly unmotivated and exhausted?
Feeling rested after a restless day;
The older I get, the more I understand the benefit of skipping a cocktail at the bar with my cast;
I love you all, but . . .
I value my quality of life, too!

Caffeinated:

Cracked-out conversation;
Eyes wide open;
Feeling the speed!

Strength

Standing in Warrior II pose, I lift the heavy dumbbell toward my chest;

I release an audible breath into the yoga studio, simultaneously empowering positive energy in my mind;

The physical strength I’m building is secondary to the emotional fortitude that grows through my yoga practice.

When...

Your day begins at 5AM,
Smile.
Breathe in gratitude;
Wake with purpose;
Just as the sun rises in the sky.

In This Moment:

I am content;

Sitting in a comfy leather armchair sipping my coffee with a puppy in my lap.

Contemplating the day, I remind myself to be present.

No task is greater than the urgency of the Now.

Exhaling a full-bodied breath, I smile.

Wake Up:

My mat is rolled out;
I’m up, and so ready to get down:
Yoga!
Stretching my mind, body, and soul:
Focused breathing;
Meditation;
Presence;
I am woke.

Note To Self:

Sometimes walking away,
Is the only way.
We invest so much energy trying to make something we really want to happen;
It’s important to step back and evaluate the situation.
Not everything can be solved.

Relationship Recall:

Resisting negative energy;
Surrounded by people who are crumbling out of character;
Relationships require patience.
Breathing through the confusion and betrayal;
Acceptance or release:
I always have options!

Two Weeks In:

Connected and confident in the resolutions I’ve set for myself;
Still working on finding acceptance in the unmoving;
It’s a daily process.

Dance In LA

Pretty bodies intertwined in twirling, intentionally sickled, transitions;
Specifically awkward and hysterically hip––often defensively defiant against the commercial expectations––still, the movement thrives and stirs the culturally hungry Los Angeles dance scene.

The Studio

My safe space to create and grow;

My body moves and the energy stirs;

Dreams, ideas, thoughts—manifesting.

Chilly Coffee Clutch.

My cold hands clutch the scorching cup of Starbucks coffee;

The contrast excites me.

Silence

In the stillness of the morning;

I hear the unnecessary loudness in my mind;

I inhale the morning air, pause, and without judgment—I exhale the noise.

Now there is only silence: I am present.

Overachiever; Underprepared

I go full out;

Even when it means slacking off.

A lack of preparation, on an epic scale!

Life On The Road

The alarm blasts me out of bed;

Sleep-crusted eyes peeling open to make coffee;

The sun is still asleep.

Lesson Learned

Airport bar: 1 drink;

Airplane: 3 drinks;

Hotel bar: 1 drink;

Bed without dinner…

Unable to get anything done!

Drop It Like It's Hot

When stress creeps back in; drop it.

When doubt forces you to react; release it.

When fear tells you, “You can’t!”; do it.

The best way to manage negative energy…

Let go of it and find the light!

Work:

Results appear when you do the work!

Empty House

I sit alone in my quite house missing my family;

Ghosted laughter and love;

Rather than feeling sad, I turn on the music and start creating.

Focused on the present; gratitude for my past.

Joyful Step

Rolling out of bed with a smile;
Heart full of gratitude for another day.
Goals and dreams floating around my mind;
I close my eyes and squeeze tight––when I open them back up I will release the future.
Knowingly returning to the present with a joyful step; today is in front of me, nothing else matters.

Clouds

Smothering our light;

Casting a dark shadow;

It’s easy to get lost in the gloom.

A change of perspective reveals a golden ray above;

The rain cleanses my soul, and our atmosphere.

Always a silver lining.

Mountains

I begin the ascent when my body, mind, creative being, and spirit are prepared for the journey.
The physical challenges are shadowed by the emotional endurance and spiritual stamina I will need to survive the summit.
Now, I prepare at basecamp—my map in hand—ready for unexpected obstacles!

Rise and Flow

Early crusty, bed eyes;
Crawling my tired, achy body out of bed;
I rise with Sun A—it’s a yoga thing.
Flowing free and feeling fabulous;
The day is mine!

Gratitude

Waking up in the morning with joy in your heart despite the underlying obstacles that you face––gratitude.
For my health, husband, family and friends, career, and faith.
Self-help books, meditation, and yoga are the icing on the cake!

Returning To Now:

I woke up from a sad dream;

It was only a dream… .

I surrender the sadness and return to this moment.

The past can only hurt me in the present, if I bring it into this moment.

2019

Enveloped by your open arms,
I melt into the love, which surrounds me.
Mom, step-dad, and husband;
A simply decadent evening—and the beginning of a brilliant year.

Loose Ends

Mend what can be mended;
Finish what can be finished;
Let go of what can’t be solved;
Resolve to start fresh daily;
Stay present!

Gathering

Joining with talented, likeminded artists to breathe;
Yoga and creativity connected in one room;
Unstoppable!

Refocusing:

Reflect;
Release;
Refocus.
Patterns change in the present.

Stillness

Surrounded by stillness after the holiday storm;
The space between Christmas and the beginning of a new year is always curiously reflective for me.
Reflecting on the past—not for too long; I don’t want to get lost in a moment that can’t be undone.
Hopeful of the future—but pleasantly present.
Expectations and uncertainties are nowhere in sight; I enjoy the peace and quiet.

Clean Slate:

Waking up to a clean house;
The world is restored;
Let’s pretend the past two months of holiday cheer didn’t count… .
… Could someone please relay the message to my scale?

Christmas Crash:

The day after Christmas is always hazy;
Toxic levels of indulgent food, sugary treats, and boatloads of booze tend to torment my body;
A sudden urge to purge pops in my head—and just like that—Christmas is DONE.
With my partner in crime bouncing behind; we unravel Christmas:
One decoration at a time, back in the box!
Two hours, a vacuum, and some elbow-grease later … Christmas has been boxed up tight.
We need some distance from the merriments!

Christmas:

Midnight Mass marks the start of my day—glorious music and Faith;
My husband and puppies cuddled in bed;
A bountiful barrage of voicemails and text messages from family and friends;
Off to a movie—visiting with a new (old) Disney friend;
Dinner and games with a gaggle of friends;
Cozy on the couch with my favorite creatures, full circle Christmas.

Skipped

Nobody's perfect;
I strive to accomplish my daily creative habits;
Alas, I dropped the ball.
My mind needed the break and my computer is tired, too.

Mission Accomplished

The words poured out;
The edits are done,
Another deadline met;
And it’s time to move on.

California Winter

Sun soaked by a pool;

Palm trees dancing in the wind;

Christmas music blasting;

Baby, it’s GOLD outside!

Dinner Party; The Morning After

Bloated gut;
Kitchen in shambles;
Wine-stained carpet:
Mission accomplished!
We need a maid. . .

Be Present

The dread sets in before you can convince yourself to stay in the light;
It's not too late.
Close your eyes, squeeze them tight, focus on positive energy until the tingling in your brain turns white:
Transformation; snapped back to the present.
Stay here.

Venice Beach

Standing in stillness;
Surrounded by sand, sea, and the dazzling moonlight.
Friends breathing together;
Bon Voyage to the past: Hello present.

Technology

Hours on hold;
Then––an automated agent.
How do you explain that you're having problems with an online system to a robot on the phone?
The machines are conspiring against us;
I'm logging off!

Change; Your Mindset

Sitting in meditative stillness;

The silent energy moves me.

My most treasured yogi mentor is advancing in her evolution as a healer.

Change can be brutal;

Thinking of her manifesting her passion—a priceless act.

Change—the way you view something—and welcome the possibilities!

Soaking Up Sleep

Lounging poolside;
Catching up with my long lost friend:
Sleep.
Lazy post show haze—I soak up the warm LA winter.

Happy Anniversary

Sixteen years ago today, I met the man I knew I’d grow old with.
Every aspect of my life has flourished thanks to our mutual respect, willingness to accept change, and embrace our evolving partnership.
I am a better man and artist—thanks to the partnership, wisdom, love, laughter, kindness, patience, and faith that Jeff shares with me.

Holiday Themed Coffee Creamer

I love your deliciously, rich, incredibly artificial flavor;
Adding a vibrant, peppermint burst of life to my caffeinated cravings.
Mocha magic in my mouth!

Crunch Time

My abs need the workout, but I’m talking about my writing. . .
Down to the wire;
My deadline is near.
My fingers are typing as fast as they can;
My brain feels foggy, the words are not clear.
It’s time to kick up the creative juice into high gear.

Caffeinated Writing Session:

My cramped hand furiously scratches the page;

A cohesive collection of words.

The caffeinated charge motivates me closer to my finish line!

It's Electric

The delivery service called, they’re on the way!

Our kitchen eagerly awaits shiny new friends;

The stainless satisfaction of a renovation.

Mat

My yoga practice has deepened my ability to stay present;

Allowing me to grow as a person and artist.

Thankfully it tones my body, too.

Sunday Matinee

Children and senior citizens an unlikely duo;
Filling the theater with laughter.
Opera, bridging the generational gap!
#HanselandGretel

Touch Up

A minor blemish on an otherwise elegant wall turns into a tragic Picasso knockoff thanks to my “touch up” paint job.
Proving once again: I am not a visual artist.

F_cking Tack-wheel

Spinning uncontrollably;

Your rainbow color infuriates me!

I’m positive Apple is rotten;

Intentionally poisoning computers to crash.

It’s the 21st century. Shouldn’t technology be more advanced?

Corporate greed forcing people to buy a new computer every two years!

Lame.

Rainy Winter LAnd

Pouring through the night, our landscape drowns in nourishment.

Darkness during the day like a true east coast winter.

LA drivers are unskilled with the crying skies.

All around me, soggy faces:

Get over it, we need the rain!

Quiet, Rainy, Words.

Sitting quietly while the rain falls outside;
The clicking of my fingers to the keypad reminds me of my first typing class in high school.
The majesty of letters, forming words; becoming sentences.
Composing my story, daily.

Chips and Salsa

Salty, spice, crunchy, burning, delicious; done!

Charged Up

Plastic currency keeps me stressed.
Career success doesn’t always translate to a bulky bank account.
Gratitude for my health, husband, and happy adventures.
We have more than we need; still striving for a big break.
Breathing helps me to return to the present, and it cost nothing.
Release everything that isn’t light.
I am blessed.

Chug

Cold and strong;
Straight to my brain;
Caffeine over ice, I can’t drink it fast enough!

Six Word Essay on Weddings.

Love and laughter bonding eternal unity.

New Beginnings

The reemergence of light;
Unexpected rain washed away stale energy.
Baptized in gratitude and ready to welcome new beginnings.

Balancing Act:

Decipher the undone;
Prioritize by passion;
Release the rest.

Release: Yoga

Dropping to my mat;
A pool of water, not from sweat, but tears;
I don’t usually cry in yoga.

Outter Space

Contained in my personal bubble;

Surrounded by crying babies at the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

Stand by for 2 hours;

Fast pass into space.

A mountain of fun!

Disney Day 1

Lack if sleep;

Early alarm;

Starbucks ASAP:

Look out Mickey, I’m coming your way!

Sunday

Yoga;

Opera;

Party at Disneyland!

Balance

Patty melt and French fries;

Yoga;

All is well in my world.

Thanksgiving Aftermath:

Tummy full of turkey;
Heart full of gratitude;
Soul satisfied.

Stuffed:

Our mats were touching;
Sweaty bodies getting downward dog.
Sculpting our bodies in preparation for the day ahead.
Lifting weights in hopes that we won't gain weight. . .
Wait? Isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about?
Grateful for my family, friends, and health.
. . .and carbs! Plenty of carbs!

Six Word Essay on Holiday Shopping (before) Black Friday:

Pajama clade, selecting sizes on Amazon!

Six Word Essay on Rewrites:

There isn’t a thesaurus large enough.

Let's Do This!

My mind, body, and spirit are ready to “unplug” for the holidays;
But my career requires work!
I open up my laptop and dive in.
The creative process demands action.

Fireplace Nap

Cozied by the amber heat;
A puppy in my lap and a glass of wine on the coffee table.
I doze off dreaming of Thanksgiving dinner; I love food.
The cheesy Christmas movie plays in the background:
The holidays are here!

Breathe

When confronted by pain, fear, anxiety, or someone else’s judgement:
Breathe.
Send that energy out with the release of every breath; return to the present.

Break The Cycle

I body shame, because I shame eat.
I shame eat when I allow the present to be less important than the past or future; neither of which are here.
A walking coma—stress plays a major role when I allow it to dictate my path.
Awake, I see the journey clearly in front of me:
One step at a time.

Try Harder

Talking in circles, saying the same thing, and still misunderstanding;
Anger, frustration, and sadness:
I don’t want to argue.
Deep breath in, I gather myself, return to the present, and smile in hopes of changing the dynamic.
Continued miscommunication makes me feel depressed.
I miss our lighthearted, joyful adventures.
Defense’s are high; I walk away.
We’ll have to try harder.

Starbucks

Strong grounds;
Texture and rich.
Aroma that reminds me of childhood.
Ready for anything;
Better with caffeine…
Unapologetically addicted.
Coffee is my drugs of choice.
Keep the refills coming!
Seriously, thank you Starbucks.

Orchestra

The harmonious sound!
My character comes to life;
Feeding on the soul of the story.
I float on the melody;
The music is my guide.

One Word On My Mood Tonight:

Bloated.

All Is Well.

Morning cuddle;
Mass;
Starbucks Mint Mocha, and three books from Barnes & Noble;
A two-year-old’s birthday party;
An argument in a car;
Bohemian Rhapsody: The Movie;
Panda Express (because sometimes you should cheat), and puppies by our fire.

Scene Change

Waiting in the wings;
The flats fly-in: I wait.
My entrance is called;
On with the show!

Six Word Essay on Letting Go:

Yesterday is gone; begin anew—now!

Foiled

Woke up with a premeditated for an adventurous day;
devastated—another senseless barrage on innocent Americans, perpetrated by an American.
Mental illness, rage, fear, racism, radicals, extremists, lonely people.
Sinking into my whiskey;
comfort comes with a headache.
An overwhelmed, emotional outburst,
And neglected movie tickets

Goodbye, Friend.

Your effervescent energy and mouth-opened-wide laugh was contagious;
We didn’t always agree on politics, but you always respected my opinion and I yours.
The first to come to my aid in times of need––or just when I needed someone to complain to––you never questioned or judged.
A solid character; full of wit, passion, and creativity.
Your presence will forever be missed, but your spirit and legacy live on in the hearts of every person who had the pleasure of knowing you.
RIP Chuck.

Vote:

Visualize a country without hate, fear, or divisiveness;
Orchestrate change;
Take initiative;
Elect leaders who empower equality and freedom for every America.

Not Getting Sucked In...

The advertisements disguised as news and pop culture information is alluring.
I have too much work to do; I can’t get sucked in.
I force myself to shutdown my Facebook app and open up my Word Doc.
I’m addicted to the 24/7 news and information overload––rather than falling into the dark web––I’m going to write what I know...

Pink; Fall in Love.

An explosion of pink, orange, yellow, and blue;
Fall in LA makes no promise of mounds of orange and yellow leaves scattered around the yard;
It provides something more meaningful:
Love—the sky nourish my soul.

When I Get Older I Promise I Won’t:

Set my smartphone to “speaker” and talk at the top of my lungs in a public place about the medications I’m taking and their reactions…
I get it, you’re tired, old, in pain, and probably cannot hear very well—but why not have that dialogue in the privacy and comfort of your own home?!
Everyone at Starbucks doesn’t need to hear about your nephew’s marital problems either.

Bustle

A symphony of honking horns blaring from the cars stacked waiting for the traffic light to change.  Completely unaware of the film shoot that has the entire street on lockdown.
Business people passing with coffee in one hand and their phones in the other; oblivious to the actors in full creature costumes.
A tourbus full of eager art enthusiasts unfold from the bus and pour into The Broad.
The scene downtown is like any you’d expect in Los Angeles: crazy, chaotic, energetic, and full of life!

Polished

A sea of silver candle sticks and antique collectibles handed down for generations;
Beautifully displayed throughout our house––sitting on shelves collecting dust and tarnishing.
Today, I take on the task of polishing the treasured collection.
Polishing the effects of time: revealing a wonderful shine––the memory of our loved ones!

LUMP

Lying in bed;
Unmotivated.
Maybe I’ll get up and get to work?
Probably not.

Wild and Blessed

Late night partying on a Monday night;
Leads to an early morning—sweating it out on my yoga mat—before a 10 hour tech day!
Play hard; work hard!
And I still found time for meditation, creative writing, and a Starbucks session;
I am blessed.

Double Down-ward Dog

When you’re attending multiple holiday parties;
Eating too much junk food and candy;
Drinking until you feel the Spirits;
And still have to look good––because you’re performing in a production at the LA Opera . . .
I have to double-down on my downward dog!
Today I took back to back yoga classes:
One for lengthening and strengthening and the other for toning and tightening;
Both for peace of mind.

Carved

I stab my knife into the orange pumpkin;
Scoop out all its guts;
Place the seeds on a tray and bake them––they taste delicious with sea salt.
Without a stencil or a game plan I make sharp, bold cuts on the smooth outer surface:
Plain, geometric shapes. . .
Nothing has changed since I was a kid.
I like the childlike simplicity!
#HappyHalloween

Six Word Essay on Quality of Life

Yoga and Whole Foods; expensive prevention.

Do Nothing Day

I lie on the floor watching endless docuseries’ on Netflix;
Occasionally I take a sip of wine and munch on a vegetable cracker with yogurt cheese.
It feels so good to be so lazy.
Especially, because I already practiced yoga and finished editing a chapter for my new book.
#Balance

Hours of Entertainment

Like most dogs––my dog Lily chases her tail;
Tired and dizzy she stops and plops down like a lazy obese man after taking two steps.
She scouts out her favorite squeaky toy and taunts me with it.
Lily is a smart dog; she understands simple commands and even knows that when we say, “Time for bed!” She runs into our bedroom and jumps on the bed, so I can’t understand why she doesn't get the concept of catch.
Instead, she chomps down on the chewy rubber and drops it three feet from my chair.
Maybe she’s trying to tell me something? Perhaps I’m the lazy obese man and she’s doing her part to get me exercising.
Doesn't she realize that I practice 8 hours of yoga a week?
Still, she pounces at another toy. . . stops, chases her tail––again––and plops.
God, I could watch this all day long.

Alarming Presence

The honking car alarm at 5 a.m reminds me to be alert; shocking me into the present.
Also, questioning: why do they still install car alarms?

It Happens...

I let my emotions get the best of me today.
I forgot to breath and remain present.
I woke up screaming at myself in a parking lot;
Took a breath, released the drama, and smiled.
I’m in the Now—again.

Monday

Mindful

Of

New

Directions;

Always

Yearning.

A Day Late...

Lost;
Forgotten.
Remembered;
Recovered.
It was only a matter of time.
Everyone drops the ball once––right?

Theater Hangover.

When it’s done well, there’s no greater escape than live theater;
A community of vibrant artists who share their passion on stage with uninhibited emotional abandon––their words explode into song and dance further connecting the audience with the deeper heart of a story.
Last night I devoured the first National Tour of Dear Evan Hansen.
Finally, a modern musical that understands the shifting landscape of pop culture and art.
I’m in a post show theater hangover and happy about it.
I’ll post my full review of the show for LA Dance Chronicle here, as soon as it’s uploaded.

Body Love

Today marks the fourth day that I’ve slept past 9 a.m. without guilt.

I’m positive that my body needs the extra rest;

it craves the complete stillness.

Rest, recharge, revitalize;

I welcome the body love.

Task:

An obligation to accomplish something in order to sustain a comfortable quality of life.
Why does it always seem that these duties, jobs, or errands end up making me resent how I spend my life?
I’m sure I just need to change my outlook and be grateful that I have the time, energy, and ability to get things done; but seriously––I’m ready to walk away from responsibility.

Six Word Essay on 6AM Yoga

Still sleeping; body moving on autopilot.

The Driving Force of the Present

Lost in doubt, darkness, and sadness thinking about my past;
it is gone, still I react.
Tears rolling down my face are a release of energy and a baptism for my soul;
they will not carry me through time beyond the memory.
Contemplating the future; a world in chaos, I question my path.
A crash in my bedroom, suddenly I’m jolted back to the present;
The wind has thrown my bedroom door closed; I open in and return to the NOW.
It is all we have. It is all we need. I exhale and smile.
This moment is everything.

Enough

The overwhelming drive to do or be more is quenched by the peaceful embrace of my yoga mat:

Mindful meditation;

Moving energy with my body;

Manifesting light through inner awareness;

The joy of being Present is enough.

Lazy; I'm Okay With It . . .

My depleted body frozen;
I lied in bed until 1 p.m. in blissful slumber.
A work-free Sunday is rare;
I seek balance in life––sometimes that means letting go of routines.
Habitual change; constant evolution; freedom from a schedule;
A full life lived in harmony, acceptance, and presence.

Rainy

Lounging on the floor in my sweatpants;

Puppies cuddled up on both sides.

Post yoga haze watching Real Time;

The wind blows enough to relax my stressed nerves.

The country may be in chaos;

The rain outside reminds me that clouds dissipate and leave behind a fresh new perspective.

Fact:

I spend more time waiting for my computer to respond than I do working on my computer.
Technology requires patience.

Reminder:

My grandmother gave me some advice years ago and it continues to provide the permission to get on with things . . .
“Finish what you start before moving onto the next; it might not be perfect, but it will be complete.  Finished, but not perfect is better than perfect but undone.”

The Truth:

doesn't have to hurt;
honesty is important, but can often hinder artistic growth.
I’m learning how to say less about the things I don’t love, and praise the aspects I do––which are often few and far between.
Encouraging artistic evolution without the judgement;
It’s a delicate balance––I’m still learning, too.

One Word About Today:

Replenished.

Six Word Essay; Monday

Back on the treadmill; coffee helps.

Present:

The greatest challenge of becoming present, is understanding how to release the idea of who you think you should be or what you think you should be doing in order to be what you are.

Typical; Airport

I arrived with plenty of time for a coffee;

The TSA Pre-check line was closed—of course—so I stand with the wise travlers who didn’t pay for the privileged pass that (almost) never works.

No time for coffee, I get to the gate;

Boarded just in time for the flight to be delayed.

#TheGlamorousLife

Fall

Fiery orange and red leaves rustle against the pink and yellow sky;
The smell of a wood burning fireplace lingers in the crisp morning air.
Dew covered insects stuck in the web outside my door;
Children on the playground in the distance.
I’m layered in LA––that’s saying something.
The fall is always a gorgeous time for cleansing and getting comfy.

Creative Writing Challenge; Writers' Group

She wouldn’t stop complaining, I had nothing left to calm her down and I was losing hope that she would snap out of it.  I shook her; I doused her face with cold water; I even tried tickling her, still she persisted to nag at me.  Finally, I sat down, took a deep breath and released a years worth of my own built up rage–––she deserved it after everything she’s put me through; I’m not sure if she was even listening to my rant, but it felt so good to get it off my chest.
This has been the hardest job I’ve ever worked, and there’s no sign of any chance for career advancement, I HAVE TO please her.
Once I had a dream that she would call me into her office and thank me.  Thank me for remembering to pick up her dry cleaning, or wash her car, or maybe, just maybe she would thank me for the stellar deal I helped her close.
I snapped back to reality at the sound of her $300 manicure scratching the side of the Eames lounge chair she was nesting in.

Trust

My body is here;
My mind is wandering.
I catch myself in thought;
Releasing that which isn’t, required faith.
Trust and learn.

Zen

My warrior stance is grounded and connected;
Soaring high above my mat I feel inner peace.
Breathing through the movement;
I reach the destination of each pose when my mind is clear.
Letting go of the need to plan or control;
I transition into Zen.

Yoga; Renew

The weight of the long wedding weekend is supported by my yoga mat;
Transferring my heavy body, I surrender to the Zen: breathe, release, renew.

Brooke & Todd Day 3

Surrounded by lifelong friendships, the gorgeous, generous, joyful couple tied the knot.

Majestic Redwoods and the sweeping ocean breeze served as the perfect foreshadowing of Brooke and Todd’s bond; deeply rooted and crisp and vibrant.

The room was overwhelmed with laughter, dancing, and unconditional love.

Brooke & Todd Day 2

A casual gathering of friends;
Coffee, laughter, and catching up.
A intimate stroll down memory lane alongside 200 of your closest friends...
I love a destination wedding.
The cliffs along Half Moon Bay seduce me into a midday walk before dancing the night away.

Brooke & Todd Day 1

It started in Napa with Jeff, Bevin, and Lee;
Indulging in wine, food, and laughter.
Two hours later we’re sailed into Half Moon Bay;
I love a lodge.
I adore my friends––they are my family.
We’re gathered here to celebrate the joining of two extraordinary people:
Brooke Kivowitz and Todd Cooper; #CooperIsAKeeper
I’m surrendering to this moment;
Receiving everything that comes my direction with light and gratitude;
Sharing our joy with Brooke and Todd as they embark on this new course––together, forever in laughter, love, creativity, health, and success.
Life is good.

NorCal Day 5

Time to get Sideways!

Sitting in traffic is not fun;

Picking up friends at the airport and heading to Napa for a day of wine and delicious food …

A lot more fun.

Adventure awaits those who release expectations and enjoy the fertile, rich winding road!

NorCal Day 4

Yoga,

Mani / pedi,

Movie,

Massage,

I’m really having a hard time relaxing …

NorCal Day 3

Lazy, do nothing day;
You know you’re spoiled when yoga is the only thing on your list.
It’s okay to relax on vacation;
Release the need to control.
Be present and enjoy a stress-free, sunny day.

NorCal Day 2

Yoga,
Video shoot,
Coffee,
Sports massage with acupuncture,
Shopping,
Movie,
Dinner,
Nightcap in the hot tub;
Life is great!

NorCal Day 1

Family and food;
Movies galore!
The house is full of laughter.
Stress free vacation from LA.

Dawn

The morning light wakes my soul;
A new opportunity to live my best life.
The fears and failures of yesterday erased;
Replaced with the power of the present:
Today is the only thing that matters.

Times Up

Whoever thought of a timed survey online,

Never had to deal with poor Internet connections.

I had faster speeds and ability from my dial-up connection in 1995!

#OverIt

Full Circle

The moment the student becomes the teacher.
I was confronted with my sixteen-year-old self today in the form of a student with a ton of passion and anger; unable to contain their emotion and ready to react without thinking it through.
He hates me now, but one day he’ll thank me—and maybe he’ll forgive me, too.

Shoot Me!

A last minute gig presented itself;

I cherish every opportunity to perform, so naturally I said yes!

Hours on set pretending;

Just like summer camp, I play the role of an eager actor.

Lights, camera, action: shoot me.

Six Word Essay on Early Morning Yoga

My soul awakes; eyes wide shut.

Fast!

As a dancer who has struggled with body issues my entire life, I have no problem depriving myself of food.
But tell me that I have to fast for 5 hours before a doctors appointment, and I act as if I’m going to starve!
I need food, fast!

Children's Birthday Party

Too much cheese,
Sparkling wine;
The second day of saturated animal fats;
And twenty four-year-olds screaming in a bounce house: welcome to 40!

Wine & Cheese

Dairy, you’re not on my diet—and my body will reject you—but with the perfect balance of crackers and a crisp bold wine, I’ll be FINE.
Fat
Irritable
Nauseated
Emotional

For Amusement;

Buy a ticket to Six Flags Magic Mountain;
Invite your GBF (gay best friend);
Drink (heavily) in the parking lot before entering the park;
Scream your face off on the death defying rollercoasters!

Hi!ves

The itchy crawling bumps that travel my body are an indicator that I might be stressed;
How could I not see this coming?
Editing my second book, preparing to return to the stage with LA Opera, hustling to save money (to replenish my 40th Birthday World Tour), and trying to be the best caregiver I can to my sister and husband; both struggling with chronic pain.
No wonder I have hives!
A deep breath, a smile, and the acknowledgment, “This, too, shall pass.”
I don’t have to address every situation, task, or plan, today.
I just need to be present and focus on what’s in front of me: NOW.

Yoga

My personal quest to live in the present;

Mind, body, and soul in harmony with the Universe.

Connected Faith in a higher power;

I release fear and invite light.

Trust through meditation, movement, and breath.

Nine. Eleven.

My hope:

The country will once again unite as we did September 12, 2001.

Love, Faith, and finding common ground.

We stand divided; because someone we were taught that it was okay to attack your neighbor for being different or sharing another perspective.

My hope is that we can find our way back to the fundamental core that makes America the land of freedom, opportunity, and equality for ALL.

Searching:

For music on iTunes that doesn’t have an ‘E’ for explicit next to the title is like meeting a teenager who knows what an encyclopedia is; they exist but they’re not very popular.
#INeedCleanMusicForDanceClass

Inner Joy

The giddy tickle in my gut;
An inner smile coats my body.
My breaths are deeper filling my soul and enriching my blood.
The conflicts from my past and the stress of my future disappear in the Present.
Wealth, possessions, obligations, and achievements are insignificant in the light of Joy.

The Op-Ed

An anonymous account of something most rational, educated, evolved citizens know to be true.
The nameless confession is a wakeup call;
Another endless news cycle focusing on “who said it?”
Who cares?
It’s like my grandmothers broken China . . .
We can all point fingers, but the expensive antique plate is still broken on the floor.
Now, how do we fix it?

Travel Day and I Still Found My Mat!

Usually on a travel day I miss out on yoga, which throws me into a manic state of unbalance and a neurotic feeling that I’m not doing enough.
Today I landed in Sacramento with several hours before I have to be at the studio to choreograph; and to my delight there is a CorePOWER yoga on the way!
A quick pop into Starbucks for caffeine and creativity and then I’m headed to get downward dog on a day that I would ordinarily be stuck without my Zen meditation.
I feel at peace.
Would I had I not found time to hit my mat?
Absolutely. Not. Which is of course a problem, but hey––one breath at a time...

Do The Work.

Waking up to a mountain of notes can be overwhelming.
After pouring a cup of coffee, I quickly hike the trail of thoughts, ideas, and changes;
With each switchback, the path continues to unfold and I can see the hardwood surface of my desk.
My computer cursor blinks off of the Word document . . . my manuscript is not going to edit itself.
“I wanted this”, I remind myself of my second book offer.
“You've got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here's where you start paying in sweat.” to quote Debbie Allen’s character from the movie Fame.
Now, it’s time to do the work!

For My Sister on her Birthday

Her passionate, loyal, loving, opinionated, sometimes wild (but always grounded) disposition is admirable.

A one-of-a-kind character who can have me hysterical for hours with laughter—and on occasion anger—when her tell-it-like-it-is attitude catches me off guard.

I’ve watched her grow from a fearless toddler standing up to bullies on the playground;

To a confident, beautiful mom sharing unconditional love and wisdom with her gorgeous, talented, and intelligent daughter.

Always the defender of the underdog and never afraid to nurioush a stranger’s soul.

She overcame cancer and rose above a coma that kept her in the hospital for months fighting to regain her ability to walk, talk, and (thank God) laugh again.

I don’t always agree with her approach, but I’m always appreciative of her willingness to evolve.

Our bond is thicker than the shared blood that connects us; she is the Ethel to my Lucy—she allows me to steal the spotlight, she keeps me honest, and she’s always up for a crazy adventure!

I love you Shiree. Happy Birthday

Back To Work

A few days off allowed me to recharge;

Maybe, too much downtime…

I sluggishly drag myself back to the studio.

My body aches and I’m feeling uninspired;

The dancers enter and I’m quickly motivated to create.

They’re hungry for syncopated movement, like myself, they’ve spent their childhood working while everyone else watches.

I’m happy to be home;

I miss my family—but ya know—that’s work, too.

Passed Out

9 p.m. I’m a party pooper;

Passed out on the sofa for my sisters birthday.

Mexican food and margaritas left me plump and uncomfortable;

I cuddle up on the couch with my doggies, gut hanging out, I’m happy.

How To Cook In A Vacation Home:

Find the only pot in the house,

Spend twenty minutes searching for the can opener,

Give up and go out to dinner; you’re on vacation.

Morning After... A Night Out at 40

Up by 7 a.m. journaling;

No hangover.

Headed to yoga!

Feeling fabulous and ready for a Saturday full of adventure and creativity!

Friday Night Out at 40

Plenty of seats at the bar;

Can you please turn the music down?

I’d like the top shelf tequila—yes, I’m okay that it’s not on Happy Hour…

Do you have anything that’s not fried?

Oh, and can you please turn the music down?

“Hey, are you guys ready to get out of here? It’s starting to get crowded.” (Its 7:15 p.m.)

Option:

Fall victim to the demands of my day; allowing stress and obligations to send me into a panic where fear will inevitably lead to anger, frustration, and a total shutdown of my creative, mental, and physical well-being . . .
OR
Take a deep breath; return to the present moment so that I can find perspective; release the “big picture problems” and focus on what’s in front of me; and smile.
The choice is so obvious when you step back and return to the NOW.