Of course I'm delighted to be with my family, especially this year with the new addition of my niece Kellyn or as I like to call her: "my little peanut!" Still, I'm faced with the hurdles of having a very large, emotional and outspoken Italian family- add in the trials and tribulations of parents who are divorced and remarried, their extended family and half siblings- and you have a recipe for disaster!
The most frustrating part for me, is that no matter how hard I try to approach this time of year, I always seem to hurt someone, usually me. I will go out of my way to plan the entire trip, and it blows up in my face. Next time I'll make no plans whatsoever, and that comes crashing down on me- Regardless of the path I decide to take, it's always the wrong direction.
The worst part is how upset I feel once Christmas has passed, and I'm back in California wishing I could have been more patient, calm and carefree!
Every year my goal is to live in the moment and enjoy the time I have with each member of my family, and every year, I end up fighting with someone in my family...
I've been home for three days, and I've come dangerously close to an outburst. Thankfully, I've managed to remember that my family acts out like they do, because the love me and they want to spend time with me- It becomes an unintentional competition.
So I've reached the conclusion that in order to avoid complications on the home front all together; I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath and smile. If past holidays show me anything, it's that no matter what I do "right" or "wrong" my family is going to act however they want depending on where they're at in their life... so my only objective now is to not to react! If I don't engage- I don't have rage!
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