Gramps Was Right!

My grandpa used to say, “I went to bed young, and I woke up old.”

I would roll my eyes and laugh; only half understanding what he was saying.

With each passing year, I realize his wisdom on a deeper level. I only wish he was still here on earth so that I could thank him properly.

I practice yoga; meditate; read; listen to podcasts; and seek inspiration from every circumstance—in the hope that I may defy the simple truth:

There’s no stopping time!

Be present. Enjoy every moment (even the “bad” ones). And be grateful for every breath.

41

It’s wild to think that forty-one years ago today I entered this world;

I’m sure I was an energetic ball of fire—I still am!

When I close my eyes and gaze back on the brilliant adventures I’ve enjoyed, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude.

I’m living a version of the dreams I held through adolescences; albeit more vibrant and worthy than I could have imagined.

The series of events, obstacles, triumphs, setbacks, and successes have shaped the man I am.

As I look to this 41st year, I’m inspired to continue growing, reaching, loving, laughing, and dreaming!

Yoga with Mom

Side by side on our mats;
My careful eye watching in the mirror to make sure she’s following the flow.
My mom used to drill flashcards to make sure I learned how to spell;
We were shopping buddies––we love a fancy department store––and indulge in a bag of soft, salty pretzels after a delicious day of overspending;
She has been to every show I’ve every performed in, directed, or choreographed;
We’ve traveled together, laughed together, disagree about politics;
But nothing will ever compare to the memory I’ll have of my mom in crow pose!
I was so proud that my mom stepped out of her comfort zone to explore the world of breath, mediation, and presence.
Yoga with mom was magical!

Spago

Delicious conversation;
Savory and sensational cuisine;
Laughter, creative planning, and a cameo by Wolfgang himself!
Let the birthday celebrations begin.

Hump Day:

Time to remember the goals I set for the week;
Let go of the stress thus far;
Smile, because life is short;
And prepare for my 41st Birthday!

Saying Goodbye:

A memorial service marking the loss of a bright light;
Honoring her love, creativity, wisdom, and no-nonsense life!

Back On My Mat:

Monday’s are my recharge days;

I get back into the yoga studio and down on my mat.

Breathing through the past;

Releasing the future;

Returning to the present!

Oatmeal

I feel healthy eating it;

While it doesn’t taste as good as a salty McMuffin—the heart-health option will keep me from getting my own muffin-top in my McMidsection!

Now:

This moment is the only one that matters, because it’s the only one that’s here.

A simple fact, that requires surrendering to what is; and nothing else.

The Power:

Of a haircut;

Like a new man, I emerge from the weight of limp, lifeless locks.

Short, tight, and styled just right;

I’m a new man—one week away from 41!

Wow, that year went fast.

Push

I woke up this morning with a checklist on my mind.
What an unrealistic way to approach life.
This habit that I’ve enabled most of my life is curbed with yoga, meditation, and the constant to return to the present.
No matter how hard you push a mountain, the earth moves when it’s ready.
Breathe and stop pushing.

The Project in Front of You:

Is the most important.

Creativity is a process, and every step on the journey matters.

Stay product rather than feeling busy.

Honor Your Vows

I told myself when I turned forty that I would ease up on myself;
I didn’t need to push so much;
Work so hard;
Or invest so deeply into every project.
Here I am a week away from forty-one, and I have not stayed true to my vow.
In fact, I’ve even regressed.  Back into that aggressive, hustling, overachiever.
I don’t like that person.  Of course that guy gets things accomplished, but does he enjoy the process?  NO.
Eckhart Tolle says (and I’m paraphrasing), “By acknowledging your fears, you return to the present.”
So there it is… .
I’ve said it. Now, I have to change it.
I want this decade to be filled with joy, creativity (because I’m passionate not pushing), and balance.
I know that I can achieve this; I MUST let go.
Trust, breathe, stay present.

Six Word Essay on The Day After Easter

Too much meat; detox is necessary!

Easter

As the years pass by—and loved ones pass on—the Easter celebration evolves.

Some traditions are broken; I miss my gram’s homemade pizzelles, potica, and fudge.

Some customs remain; dressing up for church and gathering for brunch with friends and family.

New rituals are made; shampooing our carpets! With an elderly Yorkie, it was long overdue.

Whilst I was hiding Easter eggs in the backyard of one of my closest friends, I grew sad. It reminded me of my youth—and the joy that came from gathering with loved ones.

I’ve missed so many holidays with my niece and my sister. Then I remembered how special it is when they come to visit us in LA. Trips to the beach, swimming in our pool, and Disneyland—all bonding moments.

I also realized how fortunate I am to have my husband, our doggies, and a group of lifelong friends and their children! Home is where the heart is; love is found in those you surround yourself with, and I am blessed.

Passover

I could never Passover the opportunity to gather around a feast with friends and family;

Every year I dive deeper into my Faith;

And the brisket!

I Breathe; Therefore I Am.

Standing on my mat, grounded;
The energy beside me was disconnected.
This is why I practice.
When the world around you is violently spinning out of control: breathe.
When the universe brings you endless amounts of passion, energy, and joy: breathe.
When you wake up: breathe.
Be present and breathe.

Rest:

Three glorious days;
No work.
Eat, lay, yoga.
Passover and Easter; I believe in equality.
I need this break, and it begins now. . . .

Breathe In This Moment

There is nothing in the past or future that we can change;

A scary truth, yet so liberating.

That’s the power of NOW!

I breathe in and exhale;

I return to the present and trust that this moment is enough.

I Have A Choice:

Sometimes I forget this fact.

I allow myself to react, when I know that I could breathe instead.

It’s impossible to be angry in the present moment; the realization that the past is over—why worry about the future, and why be upset with anything now?

Let it go and return to this moment.

Here I find release and trust; everything resolves itself as it should.

Monday

Mindfully,
Open.
New
Directions;
Always
Yearning.

Bags:

Under my eyes and in my hotel room;

Can only mean one thing:

Another weekend on tour is wrapping up!

Loaded with creativity;

In desperate search of sleep…

The glamorous life.

Seeing Red...

The lack of sleep, coupled with the fact that I have to be positive today has me cranky and irritable.

I have to take a deep breath and remember how rough it used to be…

My life has been elevated;

It won’t always be easy, but I have a brilliant career;

Often, that means smiling when I want to cry.

I’m seeing red, but I’m going to roll out of bed and have a fabulous day!

I hope…

Construction in LA at 7:30AM

Clang, clang, clang went the hammer;
Shout, shout, shout went the foreman;
Yell, yell, yell, went the neighbor;
Who would have guessed how musical construction work in LA could be?

One Word:

Exacerbate.

Why I Yoga:

Feeling overwhelmed;

Trying to cross things off lists;

I accept that I cannot do everything.

Weighted with demands that need to be answered;

I take a deep breath and head to the studio:

Get on the mat and breath.

Returning to the present;

I find clarity and light.

Six Word Essay On Finishing A Task:

A sigh of relief; euphoric bliss!

Monday On My Mat:

The first breath on my yoga mat is a reminder of how easy it is to be present;

My hands gripping and feet fanning out,

I hit downward dog and the blood energizes my body, mind, and soul;

The peaceful vibes flow.

Yoga is my comfort.

Sunday, Goodbye:

A day at the beach;

The perfect place to say farewell to a lifelong friend;

They’re getting out of LA; can you blame them?

The years of laughter, adventures, and passionate debates…

I know our paths will cross many more times in this life, I just hate saying goodbye.

The ocean is a reminder that waves come and go, in a cyclical manner—our friendship will endure the distance, too!

Saturday Sunshine:

The bright blue sky,

The rolling hills are a vibrant, gradient green;

My soul smiles with gratitude;

Thank you Mother Earth.

I love LA!

Spa Meeting

The hydro massage on my lower back, whilst discussing Act I of our new musical, gave way to a magical idea… Perhaps all of our creative meetings should be held in a hot tub!

Inspired

When you start to doubt your path or question the worthiness of your present;
Take yourself to the theater.
Last night, I had the privilege of watching two of my best friends perform in Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.
The emotionally charged program filled my soul with sadness––looking back at the baggage of our ancestral history––whilst simultaneously inspiring hope among the culturally diverse audience.
Most importantly, I left the theater with a newfound sense of gratitude, for the men and women who used their horrifically, painful past to enlighten and remind us that we can do better.
The power of art is never lost on me.

See Past the Conflict

In every unpleasant circumstance;

There is a lack of communication.

In every conflict;

See past the pain—a fellow human trying the best they can.

Let It Go.

A small betrayal;

Perhaps innocent—potentially premeditated;

A disappointing discovery, either way.

I hold the power;

Disband the partnership and lose a friend in the process?

Or

Release the drama and proceed as planned, with caution.

It requires the ultimate act of faith;

Let it go!

Reunion Week!

New York,

Los Angeles,

And the U.K.

A gathering of friends old and new;

Swapping stories from our past—laughing our asses off.

Sharing creative ideas and celebrating the journey we’ve shared;

Setting our sights on brilliant new adventures!

A Hotel Room In Denver:

Sitting in my hotel room bed, gazing out of the window;
The snowcapped, Rocky Mountain’s are a stunning.
A flashback to my childhood, adventures with my family in Colorado.
It’s an unpleasant feeling to be in the city where loved ones live, and not see them.
Conflicting schedules keep us apart in a city we’re only miles away. . .

Six Word Essay on Aging

Confident, accomplished, fearless; always achy body.

Deep Breath; Let Go

The energy in my body is toxic;
I’ve stopped consciously breathing and allowed anger, fear, frustration to invade.
The power of the present is in releasing everything;
Every moment is a fresh opportunity.

Aging Puppy. . .

I’m watching my dog scratch and spin around on the bed;
She’s 15 years old, so I imagine that finding comfort is even harder than it used to be.
Ginger is an adorable little princess;
It’s hard watching her struggle, but as long as she gets excited when she hears the word, “Cookie”, I’m happy!
Of course, you have to shout the word and inch from her face. . . .
Why don’t they make puppy hearing aids?

Love:

Expressing it in words means nothing if the person receiving it, doesn’t feel it.

It’s an old cliche, but still true:

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Show someone you love them today!

Puppy Cuts:

Our dogs hate going to the groomers;

But we love their adorably clean faces…

So off to the doggy spa we go!

In just two hours: little puppies born again with fresh tight cuts.

Six Word Essay on Monday Morning Yoga

Mind, body, soul; the mat calls!

The Theatre

I sit in darkness; judging.
That’s literally my job: adjudicating aspiring artists.
Agitated at the current trend in artistic integrity;
Which is yo say that—as far as I can see—there is no integrity.
Blue in the face, I constantly reiterate my thoughts:
Focus on the story, build on the technique, cultivate a career.
Instead, I endure an endless barrage of tilt crotch shots, sickled passés, and gratuitous grinding… .
What is happening to the theatre?!

Watery Oatmeal

Runny,
Glue-like flavor;
Why did I pay for this?
Starving and feeding my “Rockstar” evening;
I swallow the lumpy, watery, concoction:
Unhappy but fed.

Hot Tub

Thank you for helping me cope.
Your warm energy and soothing bubbles whisper calming thoughts in my ear and heal my body simultaneously.

Six Word Essay on Guest Speakers

Absorb knowledge, share energy, evolve wisely.

Get To Class

Early morning yoga, feelingbthe breath and length in my body;

No line at Starbucks?! It’s a stress free day!

Headed to inspire the creative minds of the next generation; class starts at 8—don’t be late!

It's A Fact:

Reading before bed leads to a healthier night’s sleep….Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Six Word Essay on Work

Brilliant ideas always require more effort.

Six Word Essay on Work

Brilliant ideas always require more effort.

Sunny LA

After eight delicious hours of sleep, I woke up feeling slightly more myself.

Feeling inspired, I rolled myself out of bed and headed to yoga;

The moment I hit my mat, the jet lag from an 11 hour return flight home from London rolled in like a fog.

Thankfully, I have the weekend and off and the California sky is deep blue; a perfect opportunity to lounge by the pool and sleep.

LA to UK 2019; Travel Day Home

Another successful trip to the UK!

Sharing my passion with the talented artists at Move It and University Centre Weston;

Collaborating with colleagues;

Swapping ideas;

Expanding creative ventures;

Exploring innovative concepts in production and education;

All whilst laughing, eating, drinking, and living our best lives!

Now, onto a full flight back to LA!

LA to UK 2019; Day 9

Cheddar cheese, in Cheddar, England;

Cream tea in the Gorge Cafe;

A trip to Cardiff, Wales to see The Full Monty;

A bus full of musical theater majors singing at the top of their lungs;

The perfect day off on our last day in the UK!

LA to UK 2019; Day 8

I can’t get on Instagram or Facebook;

Apparently there’s a worldwide outage!

If I don’t post a video of today’s workshop, did it really exist?

LA to UK 2019; Day 7

Bath, Spa.

UK holiday, whilst working;

Passion, creativity, adventure,

Follow your dreams, refuse to hear “no”, work your ass off;

Break when needed.

LA to UK 2019; Day 6

I spent my morning on a video shoot in a beautiful seaside setting;

My afternoon sharing insight with actors in a lecture and on-camera class;

My evening was filled with laughter, drinks, and dinner in a very British pub.

LA to UK 2019; Day 5

The show is over;

My work is done;

Tomorrow I work with conservatory students,

Creating content—musical theater fun.

LA to UK 2019; Day 4

The motivation to create, share, and inspire fuels me past the lack of sleep, aches, and pains that come from age.
Incredibly grateful for my career opportunities and collaborative crew!

LA to UK 2019; Day 3

A backstage press interview;
One master class;
Two seminars;
And a full day of reconnecting with lifelong industry friends… with a genuinely gigantic smile on my face.
All on two hours sleep. Why?
Apparently after turning 40 you lose the ability to bounce back from jet lag;
But the name of this game is enthusiastic endurance; it’s how a working artist evolves creatively, while staying true to their game!

LA to UK 2019; Day 2

A show on the West End last night;
Matilda, lead a brilliant revolt!
Inspiration and industry:
Directing and choreographing our own production.
Late night Italian dinner in the heart of SoHo,
because carbs after a 12 hour flight and a show on West End ensures a perfect night’s sleep.
Today: up and ready for an adventure in London;
Yoga (of course),
Sightseeing,
Shopping,
And yes, another show!

LA to UK 2019; Day 1

Still thousands of miles in the sky;
The flight is always a touch more uncomfortable than you want it to be.
The unlimited alcohol helps.
Once in London,
We’ll hit the ground running.
Dinner and show, then plenty of sleep.
Wiser this time around,
We padded our trip with a full day of rest!

LA to UK 2019; Travel Day

My bags are packed;
Our puppies are pissed;
I’m ready for a fabulous adventure in the UK;
If only I didn’t have to spend 12 hours in Economy class to get there.
The glamorous life of an artist on tour;
They can’t all be 1st Class adventures––actually it’s probably for the best––every journey is a growing opportunity;
Delighted to share the stage with my husband, Jeff, and my manager, Michelle;
Let the expedition begin!

Ginger Licks; Constantly

I’ll miss the gentle lap of her tongue;

The heinously offensive $hit breath, which leaves a trail wherever she goes… . Yes, I’ll miss that, too.

She’s getting older,

She’s starting to let go;

I’m devouring every moment with her.

Memories

Thanks to the generosity of a yogi and friend who couldn’t use her Orchestra center tickets for the matinee of Cats playing at the Hollywood Pantages Theater, Jeff and I got to indulge our theatrical side;
Sitting in the majestic lobby of the Pantages enjoying a cocktail pre-show, Jeff and I shared our Memories of the prancing musical production.
The songs are like catnip (I seriously can’t help it) for my inner theater soul.
The orchestra played the first synthesized note and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical mayhem came flooding back.
My childhood:
Watching the dancer–actor–singers on stage twirling, belting, and bouncing around the stage––which was transformed into a junkyard––was exhilarating.
I staged my own production of “Mad Cats” to avoid copyright infringement, when I was a senior in high school; naturally, I (re)wrote, directed, choreographed, and starred in the production. . . More about that in my new book, “Dancing Out of the Closet” (seamless plug), which will be released Summer 2019!
Now, as an adult, I watched the re-choreographed production.  I used to take class and work with Andy Blankenbeuhler––who did a brilliant job of maintaining the integrity of the show, but bringing it into the 21st Century.
I sat in the theater with my smile (from ear to ear) throughout the entire production.
Is it the perfect musical? NO. But it engaged a side of my imagination as a young boy, and I’m delighted to report that the nostalgia and creative inspiration came bounding back after lapping up the new production of Cats!

Another Rainy Day...

We need the rain;

Our air quality improves;

There’s green everywhere;

I’m sick of it!

Grey skies leaves my with wet eyes:

Depression sets in—I’m an otherwise obsessively joyful person.

Don’t worry, I leave for the U.K. next week—we’re sure to enjoy sunny skies there!

Paying Bills

Doesn’t make me feel like an adult;
It reminds me that I spend, too much!
Also, I hear the Abba lyrics:
“I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay. . .”
It’s a rich man’s world.

Waiting. . .

Has never been my strongest attribute;
When caffeine is involved, I’m downright impossible.
I believe in virtues; patients is not one of them!

Class--Y

Choreograph II;

Writing;

Feeling incredibly responsible…

I’m mentoring a new generation of artists;

Hopefully they’re listening to my words of wisdom and ignoring my imperfections!

That Feeling...

When you’ve crossed off all of your daily tasks;

And you’re ready to plop on the couch and cuddle with your puppies.

Six Word Essay on Choreography

The world; more vibrant with dance!

Past My Bed Time

Twelve hours in a theater and a two hour car ride back to LA;
I’m sitting on my couch, stuck in that twilight buzz that comes from spending the day choreographing in a room with music blaring;
I’m attending an OSCAR party later today––I have to look my best––yet here I sit watching a recording of Friday’s episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, while writing a blog.
No doubt I’ll fall asleep just in time to wake up for my 7 a.m. yoga class.

Self-Promotion

The act of sharing your accomplishments;
Often referred to as shameless;
If you’re not excited to promote your work,
Who’ll be eager to enjoy it?
Passion and creativity are motivating factors,
But would we know Van Gogh, had he not cut off his own ear?
Maybe, but wow, what great publicity?!
#DontCutOffYourEar!

Wake Up

The earlier I start my day,
The more time I have to play;
I’ve decided that cheap rhymes are acceptable before 6 a.m.
I’ll be more creativity after yoga!

Impromptu

A trip to LACMA inspired more art. . .
Buying tickets for a show two hours before curtain;
A fancy dinner downtown;
Delicious conversation over cocktails;
A cultural day in LA with my family!

Six Word Essay on Yoga

I’m up; ready to get down!

Sun

Lounging in the LA sun;

Lily sits happily in my lap.

The crisp winter breeze rustles through the Palm trees swaying overhead.

My Starbucks cup is full;

Life is perfect.

Social Media Smackdown

The constant condescension and bullshit lies that are spread on social media—from either side of the aisle—are uneducated, fear-based, and not going to serve our country in any way.

I went off on members of my own family who are so anxious to jump on a political bandwagon, without thought or education on the matters at hand.

Sheep who need sheared; the wool is so far over their eyes they’re blind to their ignorance.

Burnt Black Coffee:

When you have an early wake-up call and have to teach four classes in a row;
The hotel room coffeemaker is your friend;
The burnt black coffee it more like a frienamie...
I need the caffeine, so I make peace with the lackluster, non-fancy java.

Snow, Thanks.

A fluffy blanket of velveteen snow covers the charming brick buildings of downtown Minneapolis;
Warm and cozy in my hotel bed, I gaze at the flickering lights that peek out from under the porcelain powder;
People wrapped in Arctic gear scurry from shop to shop, they look like bears gathering food.
I chug my hot coffee, smile, and remember how fortunate I am that my classes are in the ballroom downstairs: I don’t have to leave this building.

Travel Day

Loading a morning full of tasks and projects;
Racing to squeeze in yoga;
Quickly showering and grabbing a snack;
My pre-packed bag ready at the door;
A quick goodbye to my puppies;
Off to the airport I go!
… But first, traffic on the 405.
It must be a travel day.

Abundant Love

Smothered in unconditional acceptance;
I embrace the people in my life who continue to encourage me.
Selflessly supporting my dreams, sharing my victories, nurturing my wounds, embracing my evolution as an artist and human;
The abundant love I feel is matched with gratitude and reciprocated with equal parts adoration, respect, and limitless support.

Enter; Now.

Returning to the present moment is as simple or as challenging as we allow it to be.
Yesterday, I encouraged negative thought in search of permission to escape my fears;
Feeling sorry for myself, which never leads to creativity or growth.
Waking up, I remembered the importance of faith; trusting my path always leads to purpose.
I release the comfort and ease, which is born from insecurity—I close my eyes, inhale, and reset my focus on light.

Six Word Essay; Days Off:

Sleeping in is wasteful; and necessary!

Monday

Morning yoga on my mat;
Starbucks coffee and friendly chat;
Cheesy rhyming poems:
Bring creativity doesn’t have to highbrow!

The Beverly Hills Hotel

Pink and green;
Troop Beverly;
People watching;
Overspending On delicious food and handcrafted cocktails;
Fabulous conversation!

Rude

Those who take advantage of your time might be the most selfish, disrespectful people in the planet.

Especially at yoga!

Cut The Cord:

When you’re holding on to something (or someone) who’s pulling you down;
Cut the cord!
There’s nothing admirable about going down with a ship that doesn’t want to be saved.

You Can Ring My Bell:

A phone call for a project;
Total artistic control;
A very doable budget;
Directing and choreographing?!
No, it’s not a dream––it’s a dream job, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity!
#DetailsToFollow

Bright And Early:

I sit in contemplation;
My mat is my island;
Visualizing the sun rising in my mind as I move into downward dog:
I am present.

Stillness Speaks

I sit in the stillness of my sleeping house;
The silence is loud but gentle.
I find space to float in deep meditation;
My energy turns from distant thoughts to presence:
I am enough.

Monday

After getting down on my yoga mat at 6AM,

I was motivated to jump start my workweek.

Creative projects, work meetings, household duties, returning emails, rolling calls, grading papers, setting choreography, reading, editing scripts, and yes––I even found time to cuddle my doggies.

Balance requires focusing on the moment in front of you.

Present and ready for the crazy that lies ahead. . .

Soggy, Rainy, Cozy;

Relentless and wild, the rain continues to douse Los Angeles;

Our streets look like the canals of Venice.

Cozy inside, I gaze at the fireplace;

Lily, our Shih Tzu is curled up on the couch, pouting.

“Lily, we’re not walking in the storm.” I try to reason with her…

Nobody wants soggy shoes or soaked paws.

The patter on our roof is restful;

We doze off.

Lazy Sunday.

Rain

Renewing
Air quality;
Invoking
New growth

Thai Last Night...

Tummy trouble today.
I remember my twenties;
I could eat anything I wanted and never feel a thing.
Forty says, “You have more—money, opportunities, confidence, fearlessness, knowledge—but you’ll pay for it by losing the pleasures of food, drinking, and partying until 2AM. Who can stay up that late?

Thunder In LA:

Is like an A-List actress over 40 walking around without makeup on…

It rarely happens.

Both produce a dramatically frightening reaction from most people…

Beautifully, wild and raw—I love Mother Nature.

One Word:

Motivated!

Meeting of the Minds:

Creativity inspires productivity.
When you collaborate with likeminded people,
the energy is vibrant.

Back In LA:

Sunshine, palm trees, traffic;
You take the good with the bad;
Yoga helps!
#SoLA

Betrayal

Waiting for a call, which never came;
Trusting a friend when they told you, “Nothing changes.”
Waking up to a post on social media, realizing you’ve been replaced without notice.
Instagram reveals all.

Rested

Turning in early last night was a conscious choice;
Do I want to spend another day feeling utterly unmotivated and exhausted?
Feeling rested after a restless day;
The older I get, the more I understand the benefit of skipping a cocktail at the bar with my cast;
I love you all, but . . .
I value my quality of life, too!

Caffeinated:

Cracked-out conversation;
Eyes wide open;
Feeling the speed!

Strength

Standing in Warrior II pose, I lift the heavy dumbbell toward my chest;

I release an audible breath into the yoga studio, simultaneously empowering positive energy in my mind;

The physical strength I’m building is secondary to the emotional fortitude that grows through my yoga practice.

When...

Your day begins at 5AM,
Smile.
Breathe in gratitude;
Wake with purpose;
Just as the sun rises in the sky.

In This Moment:

I am content;

Sitting in a comfy leather armchair sipping my coffee with a puppy in my lap.

Contemplating the day, I remind myself to be present.

No task is greater than the urgency of the Now.

Exhaling a full-bodied breath, I smile.

Wake Up:

My mat is rolled out;
I’m up, and so ready to get down:
Yoga!
Stretching my mind, body, and soul:
Focused breathing;
Meditation;
Presence;
I am woke.

Note To Self:

Sometimes walking away,
Is the only way.
We invest so much energy trying to make something we really want to happen;
It’s important to step back and evaluate the situation.
Not everything can be solved.

Relationship Recall:

Resisting negative energy;
Surrounded by people who are crumbling out of character;
Relationships require patience.
Breathing through the confusion and betrayal;
Acceptance or release:
I always have options!

Two Weeks In:

Connected and confident in the resolutions I’ve set for myself;
Still working on finding acceptance in the unmoving;
It’s a daily process.

Dance In LA

Pretty bodies intertwined in twirling, intentionally sickled, transitions;
Specifically awkward and hysterically hip––often defensively defiant against the commercial expectations––still, the movement thrives and stirs the culturally hungry Los Angeles dance scene.

The Studio

My safe space to create and grow;

My body moves and the energy stirs;

Dreams, ideas, thoughts—manifesting.

Chilly Coffee Clutch.

My cold hands clutch the scorching cup of Starbucks coffee;

The contrast excites me.

Silence

In the stillness of the morning;

I hear the unnecessary loudness in my mind;

I inhale the morning air, pause, and without judgment—I exhale the noise.

Now there is only silence: I am present.

Overachiever; Underprepared

I go full out;

Even when it means slacking off.

A lack of preparation, on an epic scale!

Life On The Road

The alarm blasts me out of bed;

Sleep-crusted eyes peeling open to make coffee;

The sun is still asleep.

Lesson Learned

Airport bar: 1 drink;

Airplane: 3 drinks;

Hotel bar: 1 drink;

Bed without dinner…

Unable to get anything done!

Drop It Like It's Hot

When stress creeps back in; drop it.

When doubt forces you to react; release it.

When fear tells you, “You can’t!”; do it.

The best way to manage negative energy…

Let go of it and find the light!

Work:

Results appear when you do the work!

Empty House

I sit alone in my quite house missing my family;

Ghosted laughter and love;

Rather than feeling sad, I turn on the music and start creating.

Focused on the present; gratitude for my past.

Joyful Step

Rolling out of bed with a smile;
Heart full of gratitude for another day.
Goals and dreams floating around my mind;
I close my eyes and squeeze tight––when I open them back up I will release the future.
Knowingly returning to the present with a joyful step; today is in front of me, nothing else matters.

Clouds

Smothering our light;

Casting a dark shadow;

It’s easy to get lost in the gloom.

A change of perspective reveals a golden ray above;

The rain cleanses my soul, and our atmosphere.

Always a silver lining.

Mountains

I begin the ascent when my body, mind, creative being, and spirit are prepared for the journey.
The physical challenges are shadowed by the emotional endurance and spiritual stamina I will need to survive the summit.
Now, I prepare at basecamp—my map in hand—ready for unexpected obstacles!

Rise and Flow

Early crusty, bed eyes;
Crawling my tired, achy body out of bed;
I rise with Sun A—it’s a yoga thing.
Flowing free and feeling fabulous;
The day is mine!

Gratitude

Waking up in the morning with joy in your heart despite the underlying obstacles that you face––gratitude.
For my health, husband, family and friends, career, and faith.
Self-help books, meditation, and yoga are the icing on the cake!

Returning To Now:

I woke up from a sad dream;

It was only a dream… .

I surrender the sadness and return to this moment.

The past can only hurt me in the present, if I bring it into this moment.

2019

Enveloped by your open arms,
I melt into the love, which surrounds me.
Mom, step-dad, and husband;
A simply decadent evening—and the beginning of a brilliant year.

Loose Ends

Mend what can be mended;
Finish what can be finished;
Let go of what can’t be solved;
Resolve to start fresh daily;
Stay present!

Gathering

Joining with talented, likeminded artists to breathe;
Yoga and creativity connected in one room;
Unstoppable!

Refocusing:

Reflect;
Release;
Refocus.
Patterns change in the present.

Stillness

Surrounded by stillness after the holiday storm;
The space between Christmas and the beginning of a new year is always curiously reflective for me.
Reflecting on the past—not for too long; I don’t want to get lost in a moment that can’t be undone.
Hopeful of the future—but pleasantly present.
Expectations and uncertainties are nowhere in sight; I enjoy the peace and quiet.

Clean Slate:

Waking up to a clean house;
The world is restored;
Let’s pretend the past two months of holiday cheer didn’t count… .
… Could someone please relay the message to my scale?

Christmas Crash:

The day after Christmas is always hazy;
Toxic levels of indulgent food, sugary treats, and boatloads of booze tend to torment my body;
A sudden urge to purge pops in my head—and just like that—Christmas is DONE.
With my partner in crime bouncing behind; we unravel Christmas:
One decoration at a time, back in the box!
Two hours, a vacuum, and some elbow-grease later … Christmas has been boxed up tight.
We need some distance from the merriments!

Christmas:

Midnight Mass marks the start of my day—glorious music and Faith;
My husband and puppies cuddled in bed;
A bountiful barrage of voicemails and text messages from family and friends;
Off to a movie—visiting with a new (old) Disney friend;
Dinner and games with a gaggle of friends;
Cozy on the couch with my favorite creatures, full circle Christmas.

Skipped

Nobody's perfect;
I strive to accomplish my daily creative habits;
Alas, I dropped the ball.
My mind needed the break and my computer is tired, too.

Mission Accomplished

The words poured out;
The edits are done,
Another deadline met;
And it’s time to move on.

California Winter

Sun soaked by a pool;

Palm trees dancing in the wind;

Christmas music blasting;

Baby, it’s GOLD outside!

Dinner Party; The Morning After

Bloated gut;
Kitchen in shambles;
Wine-stained carpet:
Mission accomplished!
We need a maid. . .

Be Present

The dread sets in before you can convince yourself to stay in the light;
It's not too late.
Close your eyes, squeeze them tight, focus on positive energy until the tingling in your brain turns white:
Transformation; snapped back to the present.
Stay here.

Venice Beach

Standing in stillness;
Surrounded by sand, sea, and the dazzling moonlight.
Friends breathing together;
Bon Voyage to the past: Hello present.

Technology

Hours on hold;
Then––an automated agent.
How do you explain that you're having problems with an online system to a robot on the phone?
The machines are conspiring against us;
I'm logging off!

Change; Your Mindset

Sitting in meditative stillness;

The silent energy moves me.

My most treasured yogi mentor is advancing in her evolution as a healer.

Change can be brutal;

Thinking of her manifesting her passion—a priceless act.

Change—the way you view something—and welcome the possibilities!

Soaking Up Sleep

Lounging poolside;
Catching up with my long lost friend:
Sleep.
Lazy post show haze—I soak up the warm LA winter.

Happy Anniversary

Sixteen years ago today, I met the man I knew I’d grow old with.
Every aspect of my life has flourished thanks to our mutual respect, willingness to accept change, and embrace our evolving partnership.
I am a better man and artist—thanks to the partnership, wisdom, love, laughter, kindness, patience, and faith that Jeff shares with me.

Holiday Themed Coffee Creamer

I love your deliciously, rich, incredibly artificial flavor;
Adding a vibrant, peppermint burst of life to my caffeinated cravings.
Mocha magic in my mouth!

Crunch Time

My abs need the workout, but I’m talking about my writing. . .
Down to the wire;
My deadline is near.
My fingers are typing as fast as they can;
My brain feels foggy, the words are not clear.
It’s time to kick up the creative juice into high gear.

Caffeinated Writing Session:

My cramped hand furiously scratches the page;

A cohesive collection of words.

The caffeinated charge motivates me closer to my finish line!

It's Electric

The delivery service called, they’re on the way!

Our kitchen eagerly awaits shiny new friends;

The stainless satisfaction of a renovation.

Mat

My yoga practice has deepened my ability to stay present;

Allowing me to grow as a person and artist.

Thankfully it tones my body, too.

Sunday Matinee

Children and senior citizens an unlikely duo;
Filling the theater with laughter.
Opera, bridging the generational gap!
#HanselandGretel

Touch Up

A minor blemish on an otherwise elegant wall turns into a tragic Picasso knockoff thanks to my “touch up” paint job.
Proving once again: I am not a visual artist.

F_cking Tack-wheel

Spinning uncontrollably;

Your rainbow color infuriates me!

I’m positive Apple is rotten;

Intentionally poisoning computers to crash.

It’s the 21st century. Shouldn’t technology be more advanced?

Corporate greed forcing people to buy a new computer every two years!

Lame.

Rainy Winter LAnd

Pouring through the night, our landscape drowns in nourishment.

Darkness during the day like a true east coast winter.

LA drivers are unskilled with the crying skies.

All around me, soggy faces:

Get over it, we need the rain!

Quiet, Rainy, Words.

Sitting quietly while the rain falls outside;
The clicking of my fingers to the keypad reminds me of my first typing class in high school.
The majesty of letters, forming words; becoming sentences.
Composing my story, daily.

Chips and Salsa

Salty, spice, crunchy, burning, delicious; done!

Charged Up

Plastic currency keeps me stressed.
Career success doesn’t always translate to a bulky bank account.
Gratitude for my health, husband, and happy adventures.
We have more than we need; still striving for a big break.
Breathing helps me to return to the present, and it cost nothing.
Release everything that isn’t light.
I am blessed.

Chug

Cold and strong;
Straight to my brain;
Caffeine over ice, I can’t drink it fast enough!

Six Word Essay on Weddings.

Love and laughter bonding eternal unity.

New Beginnings

The reemergence of light;
Unexpected rain washed away stale energy.
Baptized in gratitude and ready to welcome new beginnings.

Balancing Act:

Decipher the undone;
Prioritize by passion;
Release the rest.

Release: Yoga

Dropping to my mat;
A pool of water, not from sweat, but tears;
I don’t usually cry in yoga.

Outter Space

Contained in my personal bubble;

Surrounded by crying babies at the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

Stand by for 2 hours;

Fast pass into space.

A mountain of fun!

Disney Day 1

Lack if sleep;

Early alarm;

Starbucks ASAP:

Look out Mickey, I’m coming your way!

Sunday

Yoga;

Opera;

Party at Disneyland!

Balance

Patty melt and French fries;

Yoga;

All is well in my world.

Thanksgiving Aftermath:

Tummy full of turkey;
Heart full of gratitude;
Soul satisfied.

Stuffed:

Our mats were touching;
Sweaty bodies getting downward dog.
Sculpting our bodies in preparation for the day ahead.
Lifting weights in hopes that we won't gain weight. . .
Wait? Isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about?
Grateful for my family, friends, and health.
. . .and carbs! Plenty of carbs!

Six Word Essay on Holiday Shopping (before) Black Friday:

Pajama clade, selecting sizes on Amazon!

Six Word Essay on Rewrites:

There isn’t a thesaurus large enough.

Let's Do This!

My mind, body, and spirit are ready to “unplug” for the holidays;
But my career requires work!
I open up my laptop and dive in.
The creative process demands action.

Fireplace Nap

Cozied by the amber heat;
A puppy in my lap and a glass of wine on the coffee table.
I doze off dreaming of Thanksgiving dinner; I love food.
The cheesy Christmas movie plays in the background:
The holidays are here!

Breathe

When confronted by pain, fear, anxiety, or someone else’s judgement:
Breathe.
Send that energy out with the release of every breath; return to the present.

Break The Cycle

I body shame, because I shame eat.
I shame eat when I allow the present to be less important than the past or future; neither of which are here.
A walking coma—stress plays a major role when I allow it to dictate my path.
Awake, I see the journey clearly in front of me:
One step at a time.

Try Harder

Talking in circles, saying the same thing, and still misunderstanding;
Anger, frustration, and sadness:
I don’t want to argue.
Deep breath in, I gather myself, return to the present, and smile in hopes of changing the dynamic.
Continued miscommunication makes me feel depressed.
I miss our lighthearted, joyful adventures.
Defense’s are high; I walk away.
We’ll have to try harder.

Starbucks

Strong grounds;
Texture and rich.
Aroma that reminds me of childhood.
Ready for anything;
Better with caffeine…
Unapologetically addicted.
Coffee is my drugs of choice.
Keep the refills coming!
Seriously, thank you Starbucks.

Orchestra

The harmonious sound!
My character comes to life;
Feeding on the soul of the story.
I float on the melody;
The music is my guide.

One Word On My Mood Tonight:

Bloated.

All Is Well.

Morning cuddle;
Mass;
Starbucks Mint Mocha, and three books from Barnes & Noble;
A two-year-old’s birthday party;
An argument in a car;
Bohemian Rhapsody: The Movie;
Panda Express (because sometimes you should cheat), and puppies by our fire.

Scene Change

Waiting in the wings;
The flats fly-in: I wait.
My entrance is called;
On with the show!

Six Word Essay on Letting Go:

Yesterday is gone; begin anew—now!

Foiled

Woke up with a premeditated for an adventurous day;
devastated—another senseless barrage on innocent Americans, perpetrated by an American.
Mental illness, rage, fear, racism, radicals, extremists, lonely people.
Sinking into my whiskey;
comfort comes with a headache.
An overwhelmed, emotional outburst,
And neglected movie tickets

Goodbye, Friend.

Your effervescent energy and mouth-opened-wide laugh was contagious;
We didn’t always agree on politics, but you always respected my opinion and I yours.
The first to come to my aid in times of need––or just when I needed someone to complain to––you never questioned or judged.
A solid character; full of wit, passion, and creativity.
Your presence will forever be missed, but your spirit and legacy live on in the hearts of every person who had the pleasure of knowing you.
RIP Chuck.

Vote:

Visualize a country without hate, fear, or divisiveness;
Orchestrate change;
Take initiative;
Elect leaders who empower equality and freedom for every America.

Not Getting Sucked In...

The advertisements disguised as news and pop culture information is alluring.
I have too much work to do; I can’t get sucked in.
I force myself to shutdown my Facebook app and open up my Word Doc.
I’m addicted to the 24/7 news and information overload––rather than falling into the dark web––I’m going to write what I know...

Pink; Fall in Love.

An explosion of pink, orange, yellow, and blue;
Fall in LA makes no promise of mounds of orange and yellow leaves scattered around the yard;
It provides something more meaningful:
Love—the sky nourish my soul.

When I Get Older I Promise I Won’t:

Set my smartphone to “speaker” and talk at the top of my lungs in a public place about the medications I’m taking and their reactions…
I get it, you’re tired, old, in pain, and probably cannot hear very well—but why not have that dialogue in the privacy and comfort of your own home?!
Everyone at Starbucks doesn’t need to hear about your nephew’s marital problems either.

Bustle

A symphony of honking horns blaring from the cars stacked waiting for the traffic light to change.  Completely unaware of the film shoot that has the entire street on lockdown.
Business people passing with coffee in one hand and their phones in the other; oblivious to the actors in full creature costumes.
A tourbus full of eager art enthusiasts unfold from the bus and pour into The Broad.
The scene downtown is like any you’d expect in Los Angeles: crazy, chaotic, energetic, and full of life!

Polished

A sea of silver candle sticks and antique collectibles handed down for generations;
Beautifully displayed throughout our house––sitting on shelves collecting dust and tarnishing.
Today, I take on the task of polishing the treasured collection.
Polishing the effects of time: revealing a wonderful shine––the memory of our loved ones!

LUMP

Lying in bed;
Unmotivated.
Maybe I’ll get up and get to work?
Probably not.

Wild and Blessed

Late night partying on a Monday night;
Leads to an early morning—sweating it out on my yoga mat—before a 10 hour tech day!
Play hard; work hard!
And I still found time for meditation, creative writing, and a Starbucks session;
I am blessed.

Double Down-ward Dog

When you’re attending multiple holiday parties;
Eating too much junk food and candy;
Drinking until you feel the Spirits;
And still have to look good––because you’re performing in a production at the LA Opera . . .
I have to double-down on my downward dog!
Today I took back to back yoga classes:
One for lengthening and strengthening and the other for toning and tightening;
Both for peace of mind.

Carved

I stab my knife into the orange pumpkin;
Scoop out all its guts;
Place the seeds on a tray and bake them––they taste delicious with sea salt.
Without a stencil or a game plan I make sharp, bold cuts on the smooth outer surface:
Plain, geometric shapes. . .
Nothing has changed since I was a kid.
I like the childlike simplicity!
#HappyHalloween

Six Word Essay on Quality of Life

Yoga and Whole Foods; expensive prevention.

Do Nothing Day

I lie on the floor watching endless docuseries’ on Netflix;
Occasionally I take a sip of wine and munch on a vegetable cracker with yogurt cheese.
It feels so good to be so lazy.
Especially, because I already practiced yoga and finished editing a chapter for my new book.
#Balance

Hours of Entertainment

Like most dogs––my dog Lily chases her tail;
Tired and dizzy she stops and plops down like a lazy obese man after taking two steps.
She scouts out her favorite squeaky toy and taunts me with it.
Lily is a smart dog; she understands simple commands and even knows that when we say, “Time for bed!” She runs into our bedroom and jumps on the bed, so I can’t understand why she doesn't get the concept of catch.
Instead, she chomps down on the chewy rubber and drops it three feet from my chair.
Maybe she’s trying to tell me something? Perhaps I’m the lazy obese man and she’s doing her part to get me exercising.
Doesn't she realize that I practice 8 hours of yoga a week?
Still, she pounces at another toy. . . stops, chases her tail––again––and plops.
God, I could watch this all day long.

Alarming Presence

The honking car alarm at 5 a.m reminds me to be alert; shocking me into the present.
Also, questioning: why do they still install car alarms?

It Happens...

I let my emotions get the best of me today.
I forgot to breath and remain present.
I woke up screaming at myself in a parking lot;
Took a breath, released the drama, and smiled.
I’m in the Now—again.

Monday

Mindful

Of

New

Directions;

Always

Yearning.

A Day Late...

Lost;
Forgotten.
Remembered;
Recovered.
It was only a matter of time.
Everyone drops the ball once––right?

Theater Hangover.

When it’s done well, there’s no greater escape than live theater;
A community of vibrant artists who share their passion on stage with uninhibited emotional abandon––their words explode into song and dance further connecting the audience with the deeper heart of a story.
Last night I devoured the first National Tour of Dear Evan Hansen.
Finally, a modern musical that understands the shifting landscape of pop culture and art.
I’m in a post show theater hangover and happy about it.
I’ll post my full review of the show for LA Dance Chronicle here, as soon as it’s uploaded.

Body Love

Today marks the fourth day that I’ve slept past 9 a.m. without guilt.

I’m positive that my body needs the extra rest;

it craves the complete stillness.

Rest, recharge, revitalize;

I welcome the body love.

Task:

An obligation to accomplish something in order to sustain a comfortable quality of life.
Why does it always seem that these duties, jobs, or errands end up making me resent how I spend my life?
I’m sure I just need to change my outlook and be grateful that I have the time, energy, and ability to get things done; but seriously––I’m ready to walk away from responsibility.

Six Word Essay on 6AM Yoga

Still sleeping; body moving on autopilot.

The Driving Force of the Present

Lost in doubt, darkness, and sadness thinking about my past;
it is gone, still I react.
Tears rolling down my face are a release of energy and a baptism for my soul;
they will not carry me through time beyond the memory.
Contemplating the future; a world in chaos, I question my path.
A crash in my bedroom, suddenly I’m jolted back to the present;
The wind has thrown my bedroom door closed; I open in and return to the NOW.
It is all we have. It is all we need. I exhale and smile.
This moment is everything.

Enough

The overwhelming drive to do or be more is quenched by the peaceful embrace of my yoga mat:

Mindful meditation;

Moving energy with my body;

Manifesting light through inner awareness;

The joy of being Present is enough.

Lazy; I'm Okay With It . . .

My depleted body frozen;
I lied in bed until 1 p.m. in blissful slumber.
A work-free Sunday is rare;
I seek balance in life––sometimes that means letting go of routines.
Habitual change; constant evolution; freedom from a schedule;
A full life lived in harmony, acceptance, and presence.

Rainy

Lounging on the floor in my sweatpants;

Puppies cuddled up on both sides.

Post yoga haze watching Real Time;

The wind blows enough to relax my stressed nerves.

The country may be in chaos;

The rain outside reminds me that clouds dissipate and leave behind a fresh new perspective.

Fact:

I spend more time waiting for my computer to respond than I do working on my computer.
Technology requires patience.

Reminder:

My grandmother gave me some advice years ago and it continues to provide the permission to get on with things . . .
“Finish what you start before moving onto the next; it might not be perfect, but it will be complete.  Finished, but not perfect is better than perfect but undone.”

The Truth:

doesn't have to hurt;
honesty is important, but can often hinder artistic growth.
I’m learning how to say less about the things I don’t love, and praise the aspects I do––which are often few and far between.
Encouraging artistic evolution without the judgement;
It’s a delicate balance––I’m still learning, too.

One Word About Today:

Replenished.

Six Word Essay; Monday

Back on the treadmill; coffee helps.

Present:

The greatest challenge of becoming present, is understanding how to release the idea of who you think you should be or what you think you should be doing in order to be what you are.

Typical; Airport

I arrived with plenty of time for a coffee;

The TSA Pre-check line was closed—of course—so I stand with the wise travlers who didn’t pay for the privileged pass that (almost) never works.

No time for coffee, I get to the gate;

Boarded just in time for the flight to be delayed.

#TheGlamorousLife

Fall

Fiery orange and red leaves rustle against the pink and yellow sky;
The smell of a wood burning fireplace lingers in the crisp morning air.
Dew covered insects stuck in the web outside my door;
Children on the playground in the distance.
I’m layered in LA––that’s saying something.
The fall is always a gorgeous time for cleansing and getting comfy.

Creative Writing Challenge; Writers' Group

She wouldn’t stop complaining, I had nothing left to calm her down and I was losing hope that she would snap out of it.  I shook her; I doused her face with cold water; I even tried tickling her, still she persisted to nag at me.  Finally, I sat down, took a deep breath and released a years worth of my own built up rage–––she deserved it after everything she’s put me through; I’m not sure if she was even listening to my rant, but it felt so good to get it off my chest.
This has been the hardest job I’ve ever worked, and there’s no sign of any chance for career advancement, I HAVE TO please her.
Once I had a dream that she would call me into her office and thank me.  Thank me for remembering to pick up her dry cleaning, or wash her car, or maybe, just maybe she would thank me for the stellar deal I helped her close.
I snapped back to reality at the sound of her $300 manicure scratching the side of the Eames lounge chair she was nesting in.

Trust

My body is here;
My mind is wandering.
I catch myself in thought;
Releasing that which isn’t, required faith.
Trust and learn.

Zen

My warrior stance is grounded and connected;
Soaring high above my mat I feel inner peace.
Breathing through the movement;
I reach the destination of each pose when my mind is clear.
Letting go of the need to plan or control;
I transition into Zen.

Yoga; Renew

The weight of the long wedding weekend is supported by my yoga mat;
Transferring my heavy body, I surrender to the Zen: breathe, release, renew.

Brooke & Todd Day 3

Surrounded by lifelong friendships, the gorgeous, generous, joyful couple tied the knot.

Majestic Redwoods and the sweeping ocean breeze served as the perfect foreshadowing of Brooke and Todd’s bond; deeply rooted and crisp and vibrant.

The room was overwhelmed with laughter, dancing, and unconditional love.

Brooke & Todd Day 2

A casual gathering of friends;
Coffee, laughter, and catching up.
A intimate stroll down memory lane alongside 200 of your closest friends...
I love a destination wedding.
The cliffs along Half Moon Bay seduce me into a midday walk before dancing the night away.

Brooke & Todd Day 1

It started in Napa with Jeff, Bevin, and Lee;
Indulging in wine, food, and laughter.
Two hours later we’re sailed into Half Moon Bay;
I love a lodge.
I adore my friends––they are my family.
We’re gathered here to celebrate the joining of two extraordinary people:
Brooke Kivowitz and Todd Cooper; #CooperIsAKeeper
I’m surrendering to this moment;
Receiving everything that comes my direction with light and gratitude;
Sharing our joy with Brooke and Todd as they embark on this new course––together, forever in laughter, love, creativity, health, and success.
Life is good.

NorCal Day 5

Time to get Sideways!

Sitting in traffic is not fun;

Picking up friends at the airport and heading to Napa for a day of wine and delicious food …

A lot more fun.

Adventure awaits those who release expectations and enjoy the fertile, rich winding road!

NorCal Day 4

Yoga,

Mani / pedi,

Movie,

Massage,

I’m really having a hard time relaxing …

NorCal Day 3

Lazy, do nothing day;
You know you’re spoiled when yoga is the only thing on your list.
It’s okay to relax on vacation;
Release the need to control.
Be present and enjoy a stress-free, sunny day.

NorCal Day 2

Yoga,
Video shoot,
Coffee,
Sports massage with acupuncture,
Shopping,
Movie,
Dinner,
Nightcap in the hot tub;
Life is great!

NorCal Day 1

Family and food;
Movies galore!
The house is full of laughter.
Stress free vacation from LA.

Dawn

The morning light wakes my soul;
A new opportunity to live my best life.
The fears and failures of yesterday erased;
Replaced with the power of the present:
Today is the only thing that matters.

Times Up

Whoever thought of a timed survey online,

Never had to deal with poor Internet connections.

I had faster speeds and ability from my dial-up connection in 1995!

#OverIt

Full Circle

The moment the student becomes the teacher.
I was confronted with my sixteen-year-old self today in the form of a student with a ton of passion and anger; unable to contain their emotion and ready to react without thinking it through.
He hates me now, but one day he’ll thank me—and maybe he’ll forgive me, too.

Shoot Me!

A last minute gig presented itself;

I cherish every opportunity to perform, so naturally I said yes!

Hours on set pretending;

Just like summer camp, I play the role of an eager actor.

Lights, camera, action: shoot me.

Six Word Essay on Early Morning Yoga

My soul awakes; eyes wide shut.

Fast!

As a dancer who has struggled with body issues my entire life, I have no problem depriving myself of food.
But tell me that I have to fast for 5 hours before a doctors appointment, and I act as if I’m going to starve!
I need food, fast!

Children's Birthday Party

Too much cheese,
Sparkling wine;
The second day of saturated animal fats;
And twenty four-year-olds screaming in a bounce house: welcome to 40!

Wine & Cheese

Dairy, you’re not on my diet—and my body will reject you—but with the perfect balance of crackers and a crisp bold wine, I’ll be FINE.
Fat
Irritable
Nauseated
Emotional

For Amusement;

Buy a ticket to Six Flags Magic Mountain;
Invite your GBF (gay best friend);
Drink (heavily) in the parking lot before entering the park;
Scream your face off on the death defying rollercoasters!

Hi!ves

The itchy crawling bumps that travel my body are an indicator that I might be stressed;
How could I not see this coming?
Editing my second book, preparing to return to the stage with LA Opera, hustling to save money (to replenish my 40th Birthday World Tour), and trying to be the best caregiver I can to my sister and husband; both struggling with chronic pain.
No wonder I have hives!
A deep breath, a smile, and the acknowledgment, “This, too, shall pass.”
I don’t have to address every situation, task, or plan, today.
I just need to be present and focus on what’s in front of me: NOW.

Yoga

My personal quest to live in the present;

Mind, body, and soul in harmony with the Universe.

Connected Faith in a higher power;

I release fear and invite light.

Trust through meditation, movement, and breath.

Nine. Eleven.

My hope:

The country will once again unite as we did September 12, 2001.

Love, Faith, and finding common ground.

We stand divided; because someone we were taught that it was okay to attack your neighbor for being different or sharing another perspective.

My hope is that we can find our way back to the fundamental core that makes America the land of freedom, opportunity, and equality for ALL.

Searching:

For music on iTunes that doesn’t have an ‘E’ for explicit next to the title is like meeting a teenager who knows what an encyclopedia is; they exist but they’re not very popular.
#INeedCleanMusicForDanceClass

Inner Joy

The giddy tickle in my gut;
An inner smile coats my body.
My breaths are deeper filling my soul and enriching my blood.
The conflicts from my past and the stress of my future disappear in the Present.
Wealth, possessions, obligations, and achievements are insignificant in the light of Joy.

The Op-Ed

An anonymous account of something most rational, educated, evolved citizens know to be true.
The nameless confession is a wakeup call;
Another endless news cycle focusing on “who said it?”
Who cares?
It’s like my grandmothers broken China . . .
We can all point fingers, but the expensive antique plate is still broken on the floor.
Now, how do we fix it?

Travel Day and I Still Found My Mat!

Usually on a travel day I miss out on yoga, which throws me into a manic state of unbalance and a neurotic feeling that I’m not doing enough.
Today I landed in Sacramento with several hours before I have to be at the studio to choreograph; and to my delight there is a CorePOWER yoga on the way!
A quick pop into Starbucks for caffeine and creativity and then I’m headed to get downward dog on a day that I would ordinarily be stuck without my Zen meditation.
I feel at peace.
Would I had I not found time to hit my mat?
Absolutely. Not. Which is of course a problem, but hey––one breath at a time...

Do The Work.

Waking up to a mountain of notes can be overwhelming.
After pouring a cup of coffee, I quickly hike the trail of thoughts, ideas, and changes;
With each switchback, the path continues to unfold and I can see the hardwood surface of my desk.
My computer cursor blinks off of the Word document . . . my manuscript is not going to edit itself.
“I wanted this”, I remind myself of my second book offer.
“You've got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here's where you start paying in sweat.” to quote Debbie Allen’s character from the movie Fame.
Now, it’s time to do the work!

For My Sister on her Birthday

Her passionate, loyal, loving, opinionated, sometimes wild (but always grounded) disposition is admirable.

A one-of-a-kind character who can have me hysterical for hours with laughter—and on occasion anger—when her tell-it-like-it-is attitude catches me off guard.

I’ve watched her grow from a fearless toddler standing up to bullies on the playground;

To a confident, beautiful mom sharing unconditional love and wisdom with her gorgeous, talented, and intelligent daughter.

Always the defender of the underdog and never afraid to nurioush a stranger’s soul.

She overcame cancer and rose above a coma that kept her in the hospital for months fighting to regain her ability to walk, talk, and (thank God) laugh again.

I don’t always agree with her approach, but I’m always appreciative of her willingness to evolve.

Our bond is thicker than the shared blood that connects us; she is the Ethel to my Lucy—she allows me to steal the spotlight, she keeps me honest, and she’s always up for a crazy adventure!

I love you Shiree. Happy Birthday

Back To Work

A few days off allowed me to recharge;

Maybe, too much downtime…

I sluggishly drag myself back to the studio.

My body aches and I’m feeling uninspired;

The dancers enter and I’m quickly motivated to create.

They’re hungry for syncopated movement, like myself, they’ve spent their childhood working while everyone else watches.

I’m happy to be home;

I miss my family—but ya know—that’s work, too.

Passed Out

9 p.m. I’m a party pooper;

Passed out on the sofa for my sisters birthday.

Mexican food and margaritas left me plump and uncomfortable;

I cuddle up on the couch with my doggies, gut hanging out, I’m happy.

How To Cook In A Vacation Home:

Find the only pot in the house,

Spend twenty minutes searching for the can opener,

Give up and go out to dinner; you’re on vacation.

Morning After... A Night Out at 40

Up by 7 a.m. journaling;

No hangover.

Headed to yoga!

Feeling fabulous and ready for a Saturday full of adventure and creativity!

Friday Night Out at 40

Plenty of seats at the bar;

Can you please turn the music down?

I’d like the top shelf tequila—yes, I’m okay that it’s not on Happy Hour…

Do you have anything that’s not fried?

Oh, and can you please turn the music down?

“Hey, are you guys ready to get out of here? It’s starting to get crowded.” (Its 7:15 p.m.)

Option:

Fall victim to the demands of my day; allowing stress and obligations to send me into a panic where fear will inevitably lead to anger, frustration, and a total shutdown of my creative, mental, and physical well-being . . .
OR
Take a deep breath; return to the present moment so that I can find perspective; release the “big picture problems” and focus on what’s in front of me; and smile.
The choice is so obvious when you step back and return to the NOW.

Beat

Staring at a computer screen full of tiny black words, which are meant to be sentences.

Presently, all I see is shit.

I pace back and forth in my living room—I could go to Starbucks but I’m already experiencing a caffeine overload.

I pick up my phone; NO social media.

I convince myself to get through one more page, and then—I take a beat.

An action film with Tom Cruise might be just the creative inspiration I need…

Drunk on Chocolate

Dark, sweet, and delicious;

Not a moment of guilt.

OWM: The Problem

Listening to old, (allegedly) educated white men converse at Starbucks, reminds me that (even in LA) ignorance and insecurity is prevalent.

Also, entertainment professionals are often accused of being narcissistic and self-indulgent; but I assure these retired white men have more vanity and ego than any mega-star I’ve ever met.

Venice Beach

No public bathrooms;

No wonder the streets smell like piss.

Neglected

I spent most of yesterday cleaning, likewise, today will be full of scrubbing, dusting, washing, folding, and repairing.
When you spend half the year out of town, your home becomes neglected.
It’s the perfect metaphor for my soul, too.
I enjoy my adventures on the road whether for work or pleasure––turning 40 and spending time in Hawaii and Alaska was magical––but when you ignore the daily work (which undoubtably happens whilst traveling) your life suffers.
Thankfully I realized this in time to take action;
Before the darkness sets––it could be a long, depressing winter if you don’t seek light.
Again, I remember to invite balance into my life (and home) through breath, trust, and yes, work!

Feed Me!

My stomach is growling. You're not hungry....I tell myself.
I sit here trying to ignore the demand for (more) food.
When you've given in to the cravings for the past six months and you're trying to get back on track––you must be strong.
I pour myself another cup of coffee and pretend it's a juicy burger.
My stomach knows better, but my head is strong and forces my brain to enjoy the savory cup of caffeine.

Ice Cream

My stomach says no;

My mouth says yes;

My ass says take a look at the number on the scale, and then decide.

Pause

I’m struggling to find a theme;
I close my eyes and breath.
Reminding myself that no one has demanded that I write, post, or create every day; this is a self-inflicted directive.
Suddenly, my shoulders drop down and a smile washes across my face.
A good pause is all you need to remember not to sweat...anything.

Wi? Fi!

I’m addicted to the Internet.

I know this to be true, because I rely on it for everything:

Work, entertainment, meal deliveries, supplies, shopping, the list goes on and on.

So when I sit at a status bar that is frozen in time…I seriously lose my shit.

I’ve asked before and I’ll ask again, how can we put a man on the moon and still struggle to secure a consistent WiFi platform?

I blame #NetNeutrality

Monday

Mind

Obviously

Needs

Daily

Activity and

Yoga.

Six Word Essay on Sunday

Faith, yoga, food, and HBO—perfection.

Saturday Shine; A Cheesy Poem

A glowing tan;

Lounging by the pool.

California blue skies;

Saturdays rule.

Lazy

I just woke up; it’s 9:52AM.
I feel rejuvenated and lazy at the same time.
I hustle and work so hard most days, it’s no wonder I want to live like a slacker when I have “nothing” on my calendar.
It’s important to give myself the space to be bum.

Everything Bagel

Deliciously doughy;
Covered in salty, crunch bits of garlic and seeds;
Smeared with cream cheese...
You really are EVERYTHING to me right now.
#AddictedToCarbs

Stillness

It’s a quite morning in my house.
The stillness is calming;
I feel peace surround me.
Traveling can be enjoyable, but often overwhelming, too.
It’s good to be home.

Lazy

I made it to yoga before crashing on my couch and binging Netflix;
Some days you just have to let go of the plans, stop pushing for perfection, and admit that you are a lazy lump.

Yoga!

Finding stillness in moving meditation;

The breath guides me into a calm surrender;

I find balance in the present and melt into my mat!

Travel Day

Overstuffed bags;
A lack of sleep;
Rushing to the airport;
TSA Pre-Check––once again––saves me;
Boarding the plane, people are rude;
Five hours in the air requires meditation;
It was a fabulous summer, but it will feel so wonderful to be home!

Boston Dance United; Day 7

Another season of dance has twirled by.
Countless plane rides between twenty states and two countries; and thousands of dancers.
Somehow, I’ve managed to choreograph enough content to keep the work fresh and my Instagram feed engaged––because you know it’s all about the social presence.
I’ve been more inspired than ever, giving myself the permission to be in the moment and trust that my work will mirror what the music and the artists’ energy is asking for.
If I said that I wasn’t concerned about turning forty and––still––being relevant (or even capable of dancing full out in class), I would be lying.
Thankfully, with a lot of help from my daily yoga practice, I think that I grew as a teacher and danced alongside the students in my classes a lot more, too!
I feel blessed for the opportunities to continue to cultivate my voice in dance.

Boston Dance United; Day 6

The body is ready for the last day;
But the soul craves more dance!
Gathered with artists from around the world creating with love and laughter.
The final curtain is always bittersweet, but if I’ve learned anything in the past 25 years...there will always be another show!

Boston Dance United; Day 5

It’s remarkable what a night of quality sleep––and a break from alcohol––can do for the body, mind, and bags under my eyes.
At 40 I’m feeling the daylong dance classes, but I’m thoroughly enjoying the creative challenge: cultivating the talent of young artists and pushing myself to create new choreography every hour!
The evenings are filled with stimulating conversation with talented, intelligent, hilarious artists from around the world.
This is exactly why the path of an artist chose me!

Boston Dance United; Day 4

I’m awake;
My body aches everywhere;
Coffee, shower, food, and a smile...
I’m off to the studio.

Boston Dance United; Day 3

My feet ache, but my soul feels well-fed;
Working with eager young artists alongside my favorite peers;
Evening excursions that connect and cultivate common ground between dancers from around the world;
Days that promote creativity and life through movement.

Boston Dance United; Day 2

The night was filled with laughter, wine, food, and more wine;
Today will be packed with dancers, choreography, and an aching body:
It’s not as easy––at 40––to dance the night away and then wake up and dance all day, too.

Boston Dance United; Day 1

Gathered around the table last night catching up on life, love, politics, and everything dance...
Familiar friends and new faces collectively laughing, sharing, and considering a statement from a different perspective.
Our passion for dance––more specifically our drive to create and share our art––unites us and encourages understanding, acceptance, love, growth, and a bond so strong that it overcomes our differences.
This is Dance United!

NYC to Boston

From The Big Apple to Beantown!

Living out of a bag for two weeks;

The smell of sweaty clothes—thank you east coast humidity—and overstuffed suitcases.

Rushing through underground tunnels and racing towards jammed-packed trains; TSA lines, and cranky kids!

Summertime travel for work or pleasure is always drama.

…living the dream?

The Big Apple; Day 4

I must remember my worth; I must remember my purpose.

I cannot allow someone else’s fear or reaction to my creativity consume me.

I love performing, choreographing, teaching, and writing; whether I get to do so on the “World’s Stage” or my little corner of the world, I am grateful.

The Big Apple; Day 3

It’s the day of the show!

Four day summer intensive;

Dancers from around the world gathered in celebration.

Learning, evolving, exploring!

I feel so honored to collaborate with my lifelong friend; (hopefully) inspiring the future of dance.

Or at least participating.

The Big Apple; Day 2

Vibrant, eclectic artists running between rehearsals;
Finding their voice with their bodies.
Packed studios––not even the air conditioning can contain the heat radiating off the dancers.
Flooded with memories from my “youth”, my 20′s in NYC;
It was then and remains, a magical, overwhelming, adrenaline filled adventure!

The Big Apple; Day 1

Headed to the airport, it’s not the 5 hour flight that causes the pain, it’s losing 3 hours and heading straight into rehearsal.
This is something––in my 20′s––that used to feel glamorous; like I was living the dream!
Now, I just feel crumpled and achy, still...I’m living the dream.
I love New York City:
The bright lights, clash of cultures, collection of artists, and abundance of smelly street trash.  The energy is always vibrant.
It’s like a ripe, stinky cheese...delicious to the taste, but offensive of the plate.

Remember Your Worth

When I was in my youth I naturally walked tall; I stood with confidence and purpose:

Idealistic and flooded with passion.

I need more of the 20-year-old me.

Maybe not the acne and fear; but I could use a dose of idealistic, delusional bliss!

…it’s there when I breath, return to the present, and remember my value.

Sunday

I slept in and woke up in a panic thinking that I missed church, which would cause a chain reaction of doom:

Morning reading and creative journal writing;

Coffee and quality time with my family;

Yoga;

A trip to Target;

Pool time;

all would have to be scrapped!

I sat up in my bed, frustrated I grabbed my phone and realized it was only 8AM.

My next thought: Why am I up so early on a Sunday?!

Life is funny and perspective is EVERYTHING!

Just Say "No"!

To pancakes after yoga.

I mean, what’s the point of working your ass of in yoga if you’re just going to shove your face full of flour, butter, and sugar?

Then again, what’s the point of sweating your ass off in yoga if you can’t reward yourself with flour, butter, and sugar?

It’s a real Zen quandary.

I choose balance, on my leg and my diet.

God I Hope I Get It

I’m 40 years old and I still get to audition;

I used to think auditions were the worst part of a career in entertainment—and they can be dreadful—but what I’ve come to accept is that each audition provides an opportunity for me to explore a deeper aspect of my own personal journey.

Through the drama I find the joy; I connect to my inner passion; and I get to pretend to be someone else—even if it’s only for 2 minutes in a small casting closet with an assistant who hates their life…see, growth!

Six Word Essay On Friendship

Instant understanding regardless of time’s passage.

Full Plate

Waking up with purpose at 5AM;

I pour myself into athletic clothes and sleepily make my way to yoga.

Downward dog awakes me soul.

I’m prepared to tackle teaching 25 summer exchange students; jazz in a world of contemporary movement.

Endless errands—to prepare for me east coast tour—and then fun in the sun; I lounge by my pool.

Cozying up on the couch with takeout pasta and Netflix.

My life is blessed.

So Hollywood

Started with a Starbucks in Sherman Oaks;

Cruised over Mulholland Drived;

Dropped in on the Stars Walk of Fame;

Strutted along Sunset Strip;

Got downward in yoga;

Jumped into our pool;

Rolled into Beverley Hills;

Ate frozen Greek yogurt;

And are chilling out on our couch!

Begin Again.

New years, holidays, birthdays, or reaching major accomplishments are not the only time we can “start over.” The opportunity to renew is within our reach anytime we crave it;

Recognizing anger, fear, uncertainty, frustration, or insecurity is the first step in releasing the negativity.

Equally important is acknowledging and inviting joy, laughter, gratitude, hope, and Faith.

The “reset button” is easy to press, once you know where to locate it:

Close your eyes, make a mental note of the feeling—positive or negative—within you, and release it.

Congratulations, you are now ready to begin again.

Perspective:

The ability to stay calm, take a deep breath, and focus on what’s in front of you;
Only reacting to the circumstances once the picture is clear;
Releasing expectation to make room for realization: awareness.
Becoming enlightened through presence.

Bed Head

I woke up late,

Splashed water on my face,

Dressed in mismatched athletic clothing,

Jumped in the car and made my way to yoga.

Now, I’m staring at myself in the mirror thinking,

“1998 called, it wants its hair back!”

I feel like a long lost cast member of “Clueless.”

As if…

Anyway, who cares? After 5 minutes in Downward dog and I’ll be a hot, sweaty, mess!

Binge

Netflix, you beautiful streaming service;

Thank you for the endless hours of programming.

Your content is well written and superbly acted by former film stars; the perfect distraction from work, the news, and cleaning my house.

Torture:

Waiting for the airport Starbucks to open;

It’s 5AM and I need caffeine.

Okay, I’m aware that there is serious suffering in the world, but on two hours of sleep this is real to me.

It didn’t help that TSA Pre-Check wasn’t open either…salt in the wound.

That Oh Sh!t Moment

When you realize that you’ve waited to long to book a flight and now you have to pay double the amount...
Welcome to life on tour.

The Early Bird...

Is annoyingly joyful, obnoxiously loud, and wakes all of the other birds up;
They also get the worm first.

Starbucks; You Either "Get It" or You Don't

The noisy Starbucks packed with people of all walks of life is an addiction itself;
Add the consistently delicious corporate coffee––that might be slightly overpriced, but still less than you’d pay at an independent hipster coffee house––and the loyalty reward card, and I’m hooked for life.
Working, reading, writing, creating, collaborating, or just lounging in the FREE air conditioning (I spent the majority of my 20′s doing this in NYC), Starbucks is a way of life.

Release; A Reminder

If I let every little glitch get me down;
I’d be six feet under.
Releasing the negative shit is important.
It slowly creeps back in your life like an ex who is gorgeous but will cheat on you.
Cut the poison out!
There is no room for doubt;
Breathe, let go, be present.

Packed And Ready

My dogs are over suitcases.
They stare up at me as I pack my bags and make promises aloud.
“I won’t be gone long this time.”
But they know...
Just when I got back into the swing of things at home––with my family––I have to hit the road.
Again, I remind myself: This is the life you chose.
I take a deep breath, gather my cargo, and head off to Dallas.
#TheGlamorousLife

Goodbye

It never gets easier;
Especially when it’s family––and you’ve just had a wonderful visit.
Waving goodbye as mom and Steve drive away;
They’ll be back, I remind myself, and smile.
The house is quite, so I turn on music and start dancing.
I can’t wait to say, “Hello!”, again.

The Love Continues

16 years together;

5 legally, today!

Love is love:

Laughter, creativity, adventure, evolution (as people and artists), we continue to thrive!

Through darkness we find light;

In pain, we seek and provide comfort;

In anger we search for joy.

He is my partner in crime; my soulmate and my lifelong hero!

Happy Anniversary, Bug!

Ask And You Shall Receive

It can be overwhelming to approach someone when you need a favor or you are seeking clarity.

Powerful figures can be intimidating and (occasionally) their reputation can persuade you against confrontation or question.

Never shy away from asking for something: clarity, help, more money, an introduction; anything.

In general, people treat you how you present yourself; and will try to get away with whatever they can.

If you value yourself, stand up for yourself.

Letting Go; A Note To Self

I’ve never been afraid of change;
In fact, my entire career has manifested out of my ability to take risks, forcing myself into uncharted waters leaving behind everything comfortable, often before I was ready for the task at hand.
Without fear I would thrust myself into adventure in a far off city.
But ask me to let go of a negative conversation or interaction...and that’s a different story.
I replay the moment over and over again in my mind like a teenager listening to their favorite breakup song on repeat, creating an attachment to a moment that has passed.
This week, I’m focusing on letting go of the stories I rerun in my mind: they don’t serve me and prevent me from evolving.

Love

Self-acceptance;

Patience;

Kindness;

Generosity;

Forgiveness;

Knowledge;

Finding the strength to release what we think we know to make room for where we need to grow.

Fix It; Moving On

After six weeks of travel for vacation and work, I was delighted to return home.
I arrived yesterday to:
a dryer that doesn’t dry;
an ice maker that isn’t making ice;
a guest bathroom drain that isn’t draining;
a pool pump that is gushing water all over our backyard;
two dogs with fleas;
and a dirty house;
in addition to all of the drama at home, I picked up a head cold that won’t go away...
And my mom and her husband arrive for 6 days this afternoon!
I wanted to rage. I want to scream and be upset... “This was supposed to be a peaceful week off with my family!!!!”  Is what my brain is screaming.
Then, I picked up “A New Earth” and read a chapter.
I took a deep breath and put the drama––which the ego loves––into perspective:  this can all be fixed.
Like a diva Hollywood publicist I took action; going down the list of “things to fix” one at a time calling on my team of experts (thank God for a home warranty), and let it go.
Now, I’m off to yoga...because Life. Ya know?

Present

The ability to be present in this moment, now, is something that continues to elude me when I’m not constantly focused on my breath.

My autopilot kicks in and before I know it I’ve neglected the work that I’ve done and the knowledge that I’ve gained from years of meditation, reading, and practicing yoga.

Fortunately, the moment I become aware of this, I am once again present.

Here; now!

Ready for the adventure that life brings me today.

House Hunting

The process of entering into someone’s home:

How do they live like this?

Do they really think their home is worth that much money?

Why wouldn’t you light a candle if your home smells like an outhouse?

Were those tiles ever in style?

I’m shocked that someone would pay a million dollars for a shitbox; which reminds me that you are what you say you’re worth!

A Day In The Sun with Mom

Lounging by the pool with my mom;

No work, just sun.

Just like my childhood:

Laughing and scheming.

The best sidekick!

Life On The Road; Day 4 (July 4th)

Born into a privilege that is so often taken for granted; freedom.

The liberty and independence to live our dreams out loud.

Despite the fear and judgment that lies below the surface of some; we are ensured the right to individuality, prosperity, and opportunity.

As an artist, I exercise these rights with gratitude every day; I recognize that we are blessed.

Life On The Road; Day 3

The dry smoke filled convention center is killing me;

My head is stuffed and aching like it used to in my childhood, back when it was “okay” to smoke indoors.

Somehow Las Vegas didn’t get the memo;

I’ll spend the day in a haze.

Life On The Road; Day 2

The longest day is behind me;

Gathered with old friends and colleagues laughing, sharing battle wounds, and recalling the good old days.

I feel creative and positive; we have an opportunity—an obligation—to impart our experience with a new generation of performers.

My journey is constantly shifting; allowing me to evolve into the best artist and leader I can be.

I feel grateful.

Life On The Road; Day 1

I woke up early to stay on course with my creative habits.

Day 6 without meat, dairy, or alcohol—it’s not a permanent life-change—just a cleanse.

Clear mind and body for a focused and productive summer!

I’ve got big plans for 40!

Travel

Work or pleasure?

An airport is torture.

Lines, angry people fighting for overhead space, and cranky crew members;

Life on the road continues…

Missing Post; June 29

When technology fails and you lose your work;

A placeholder just isn’t the same.

But who has the time to complain…

Those words are gone, and life moves on!

Letting go is a HUGE part of the creative process.

Yorkie Bath Time

Trying to give my 14-year-old Yorkshire Terrier a bath is like trying to have a reasonable conversation with at Trump supporter;
You don’t do it!
Off to the groomers we go...

Back On The Mat

Getting down is the easy part,

Getting back up? That’s the challenge.

I take a deep breath and stretch my body against the mat as it supports the extra 10 pounds I gained on vacation.

Twisting, lengthening, working through my emotions, and then it happens—I’m back in the Zen zone!

The Call

Waking up to a phone call from your manager and agent reminding you that you are, in fact, on the right path;
Wonderful news that further validates my endless uphill climb.
As an artist, every “no” feels like a personal attack on your soul;
When you hear a “yes”, you celebrate it!
My sophomore English teacher used to remind us, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”
Today, I had a lucky day.  I’m ready to get back on the horse and ride this journey as far is the trail goes!

Back On Land

We’ve made it back to San Francisco;

Feeling blessed.

After two weeks traveling with my husband and Mother-in-Law, I’ve grown;

Literally, I’m at least 10 pounds heavier thanks to the nonstop food fest.

Truthfully though, traveling to Alaska was such a journey. Witnessing wildlife and standing on glaciers hundreds of thousands of years old was life changing.

Another brilliant celebration of life; my 40th Birthday continues!

Food Coma; Alaska June 24, 2018

I feel like I’ve consumed more food in the past 10 days than the average whale eats in a year; I’m in a full blown food coma!

Don’t! …Blame Canada; Alaska June 23, 2018

Tea and crumpets;

Maple Syrup;

Hot men;

A fun accent;

A real leader: Justin Trudeau (see above!)

Don’t blame Canada!

Spa Day; Alaska June 22, 2018

The perfect day at sea;

Lounging in a spa: pampering my soul whilst grooming my soles.

A manly manicure and pedicure.

Goodbye dead skin, hangnails, and overgrown cuticles!

Better Than Evian; Alaska 21, 2018

Cruising along a corridor of floating ice headed towards the Tracy Arm Fjord;

Three seals lie on a a hunk of ice and remind me how much I miss my puppies.

I turn my attention back to the sweeping views of Alaska; rocky cliffs speckled with green trees and clouds of snow.

In every direction waterfalls cascade into the salty sea.

Nature is stunning!

A Helicopter Landed on a Glacier; Alaska June 20, 2018

This is not the beginning of a cheesy joke, it’s the start of our Alaskan excursion in Juneau today!

Last night, at 11:15 PM, I watched the sun set into a cluster of snow capped mountains creating a brilliant display of red, orange, pink, and purple; it was topped off with three Orca playing in the wake of the ship.

Yes, Alaska, I understand…you provide a beautiful response for those who seek a greater understanding of the universe.

Majestic Mountains; Alaska June 19, 2018

The view from our private balcony finally appropriates the word: spectacular.

Try not to be awed by the endless untouched snow capped mountains whilst sailing north through a corridor toward the glacier which helped shape them.

The air is crystal clear; you can almost taste the blue that swirls from the ocean to the sky.

The Salmon—returning to mate—jump from the crisp calm waters, refocusing our eyes to a pod (or is it herd) of Orca. The Killer Whales wave their fins and splash their tales almost ignoring what must be a delicious feast.

I’m overwhelmed with the history and rich landscapes.

How is it possible to feel so insignificant and so enlightened at the same time?

What a journey of self discovery and inward reflection—surrounded by nature so magnificent and pure—I am alive.

Whaled It! Alaska; June 18, 2018

The majestic Bald Eagle we saw at least 10;

The whales were blowing, we saw 2 tails wave bye.

Harbor seals there were 3, the pup fell of his rock;

And 4 deer on the beach, prancing in the sun.

It was a total success; minus the bear sightings!

Ketchikan is gorgeous; Alaska doesn’t disappoint.

Peace At Sea; June 17, 2018

I woke up to the gorgeous view from my stateroom;

An endless sea surrounds me with peace.

Tranquility is abundant onboard this floating city;

Everyone understands the harmonious blend of life gathering to explore the majesty that awaits us in Alaska.

For now, we meditate together at yoga; relax with massage and skin treatments in the spa; laugh at inventive games lead by the zany and flamboyant cruise director; break bread at dinner in the luxurious dining halls; and expand our minds reading in the Explore’s Lounge.

Serenity and peace on the deep, crystal blue open waters.

Gym At Sea; June 16, 2018

A day at sea, Alaska awaits.

Ordinarily I loath people who workout on vacation;

Yet here I am running on water.

I suppose now that I’m forty I should try to be more concerned with my health whilst indulging on a journey of nonstop food and alcohol.

The swells toss our massive ship from side to side as I attempt to sweat on a low impact machine. (I miss yoga, but I attempt to find a meditative rhythm on commercial grade gym apparatus.

My heart beat is elevated and so is my breakfast—it nearly makes it back out the passage from once it came—then my timer goes off.

Forty-five minutes on an cross trainer, my job is done!

I was healthy today, so I have no guilt about the five meals I’m sure to consume before bed.

Bon Voyage

My bags are packed;

I’m headed to the ship!

Off to Alaska;

This is it.

My 50th state in 40 years;

Glaciers, killer whales, and plenty if cheers!

The Body (A Pep Talk)

I woke up hating my body.
I’ve been overindulging and it’s starting to show.
Forget the fact that I practice yoga every single day and because of it I’m stronger than ever; I still fall victim to the vanity of Ego.
I sat down to focus on my daily journal, meditation, and reading, opened up the book I’m reading, “A New Earth”, and laughed out loud when I saw the next chapter.  “Identification With the Body.”
It was the perfect less-than-subtle reminder from The Universe that I have to stop obsessing.
I am healthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, AND physically.
Even when I’m up 5, okay 10 pounds on the scale––I know that “I” am not my body.  My body is a shell that holds my power, creativity, and wisdom.
Yes, I’d like to keep my outer shell in good shape––especially as I continue to age––however, I can’t preach balance and then judge myself when I’ve enjoyed a delicious meal.
So here I am, reminding myself that I am blessed with a body that can dance, act, jump, walk, and share love; so I MUST stop the self-hate!

Time Runs Out...

Sometimes you get to the end of the day and you realize you’ve done nothing.
Balance requires letting that happen;
And getting over it quickly.
Tomorrow will be a new day and another opportunity to get shit done.

How Sneaky

How sneaky the monster is;
Unannounced he quietly slips into the darkest corner of the room.
Hiding out for months before making a single move.
Like a Russian sleeper cell waiting for activation;
Then––a dip in Faith.
It starts with a reaction to a setback;
and just like that, insecurity sets in.
Minor tremors of doubt that seems like nothing:
But it’s too late...the Ego has returned.
The only defense against the beast––Awareness.
Acknowledge the evil for what it is, take a breath, and return to the present.
The ego needs validation; the only course of action: suffocate it!

Slots-O-Fun

The chorus if slot machines at the Reno airport are a real wake up call;

No seriously, they woke me up just in time to board my flight.

Coffee

The dark rich roast shocks my body into life;

Creativity ensues with caffeine.

I’m wired and ready to inspire!

More, more, more.

If it were possible to stop pushing, I would.

Even whilst seeking balance, I challenge myself to do more.

Imbedded in my DNA is a Drill Sergeant demanding more creativity, more productivity, more, more, more!

I gave myself the space to turn 40 without an agenda; I was betrayed by my relentless and indestructible hard drive.

Shutting down is not an option, my track wheel spins even on yoga.

The answer: acknowledged my truth, inhale and exhale, and return to the present!

Bourdain

A world traveler;

Connecting cultures through the thing most true to my heart:

Food.

Another hero gone too soon.

Justification

Lounging on my lazy fat ass;

Watching National Treasure.

We’ll call it “industry research.”

Here wEGO Again...

The relentless force pulls me into the darkness;
Unknowingly living in a parallel universe––that looks and smells the same––I proceed the patterns and habitual motions feeling weighted.
Comparing, doubting, judging, fearing––the whole time thinking that I am present––until an unassuming flash of light snaps me back into the truth.
I should recognize the signs by now:
Self-conscious,
Judgemental,
Uninspired,
Creatively stifled,
Hopeless,
Angry,
This is not the “me” which thrives.
I’ve been sucked into the blackhole of my Ego.
Gently, I redirect my spaceship back to Earth, where I find the Present waiting for me right where I left it.
My soul craves a life full of creativity, wisdom, growth, adventure, and love;
My Ego craves validation through destruction.
The power is all within my grasp; to let go of the ego and find the light.

Vote; It's The American Dream

If you don’t use your vote during an election;
Then why should you be able to use your voice when the “wrong” candidate wins the election?
It’s easy to complain about an unfair election; crooked politicians; the health and education systems; taxes; gun control; The First and Second Amendment; the list goes on, and on, and on...
If only every American would realize how much power they hold during an election; just in case you forget remember: Donald Trump.
The people who show up usually get their way.
Voting IS the American dream.  Think of how many people fought and died for their right to elect a candidate that embodies their vision of America.
Don’t take it for granted.

Remember:

It’s easier than you think to walk away;

It’s better for your mind, body, and spirit, too!

Not every situation requires going to war.

Rage

Get it out;

Release and move through it.

Follow

Challenging and unfamiliar for me; 

Lost in the simple splendor of my own universe;

I fight the natural order.
Why follow when you can lead?

Rise

Elevate;

Awaken;

Increase from low to high;

I’m up…but I’m going to need coffee, now!