Christmas Weight

The holiday weight is over...
Christmas is just around the corner and if I keep overeating at every holiday party––I’m going to be large enough to replace Santa Claus.
Tis the season to be merry; and uncomfortable in clothing that doesn’t have an elastic draw string.
So, unless I’m ready to start buying my clothes at Walmart––I need to trim the holiday cheer.

Irony

The industry I’m in requires me to maintain a “healthy” (bone thin) frame;
And every meeting, function, and event that I’m required to attend serves a ton of food!

OVEReating.

I’m over eating!
No, seriously I’m overeating and I’ve reached a point where I can’t even look at food without getting sick.
I never thought I’d live to see this day.
Let the juice cleans begin!

Random Thought Re: Food

I've decided that I'm not a foodie, I'm a fatty!

Six Word Essay on Food:

Food is a substance I abuse.

The Yoga Challenge:

Going back to yoga after a week of nonstop eating...
That's the challenge!
You can do it... is what I'm telling myself while looking at my gut in the mirror.
#Motivate

Stuffed!

I need to remember that I am not a turkey and it is not Thanksgiving!

I don't need a second helping of anything.

Diet starts after this chocolate chip cookie...

Note To Self:

When life gives you a free and delicious steakhouse dinner;
You take it.
Eat all of it. (Regardless of how fat you already feel because all you've been doing for the past week is consuming calories of every kind.)
Then, you regret it the next morning and tell yourself you CAN lose ten pounds in two days.
#MyMonthLongBirthdayCelebrationContinues

Ode To Mexican Food

Puffy face,
Fat belly,
When I eat Mexican food, my body shakes like jelly.
Too much salt and lard and flour,
I need detox, and the treadmill for an hour!

Play Hard, Work Harder

In Las Vegas I let myself go-

I ate to much and had some laughs,

Now it's time to get back in yoga.

I've got to work out and get rid of this FAT!

The Problem With Food...

If you overeat, you'll gain weight.
(Tough to remember when you've prepared a steakhouse dinner with friends, and devour three times the daily allowance of: butter, salt, bacon, potatoes, French bread and handcrafted Nutella!)
#ThatsLife #ItWasWorthIt!

The Closer Christmas Gets...

The bigger by tummy grows!
I think it's called the Santa Claus Effect.
It's what happens when you're faced with a huge buffet of
food and libations at EVERY holiday party you attend...
And the response from the host when I say, "I really shouldn't, I'm trying not to over-do-it!" is "It's the holidays!"
Yep, it's the holidays alright.  I know because my scale reminds me every morning!
Happy Holidays!

Six Word Essay On Holiday Parties

Eat less. Drink Less. Be Merry!

FoodFest!

It's remarkable how fast you can gain five pounds!
In just one tiny little weekend...
It doesn't happen over night, but it sure feels that way.
You start off small;
Just a brunch with friends, maybe a "lite" lunch...
By dinner- you're ready for a full feast.
You wake up the next day and you still look and feel great-
So naturally you repeat the same behavior.
The only trouble is when you wake up the third day...
The scale has FOUND the extra treats.
You turn around, and YEP!
...There they are, magically attached to your "love handles"
and ass!
Time to get back on track!
God portion control is so annoying!!!
BUT IT WORKS.

Too Much Food

No matter how many times I try to remind myself...

Overeating will lead to a fat ass and jiggly tummy!

Ugh- 

Back to moderation!

Six Word Essay On Memorial Day Food Fest!

I'm like Star Jones pre-surgery!

Six Word Essay on Holiday Decadence.

Overeating leads to a jiggly tummy!

Overeater!

Oh my God!

Very full right now,

Eating shouldn't hurt.

Really need to learn how to stop when I'm full!

Even if I took a break between bites to chew,

Always room for a second helping!

Truly sorry I ate that fourth cookie...

Excessive intakes of cheese are not that good for the gut;

Remember this next time!

Chain Food Hangover...

So now I totally remember why I try not to eat out at chain restaurants too much!

I'm left with the worst hangover- Literally, my belly is hanging over my pants!

I think that's going in my stand up act!

Uuuhhhggg, I have to go to the gym now and get on the treadmill! I might not get off until next week...

The truth is: those "casual dinning" restaurants just give you way too much food. All of it is over salted (to taste incredible) and no matter how full you are at the end of your meal...

the picture of that damn mile high chocolate cake with hot fudge and ice cream is always right in front of your face! So you have to order it, and it every last bit!

I'm on a food detox!

Just say no to chain restaurants!

...until next month when I forget about the nasty feeling and 'am lured back yet again!

Detox ASAP

Enough is enough!

I've spent the past week in a thick haze of gluttony-

I never have a problem overeating,

In fact, it's what I do best-

I love food. I crave it every second on the day...

Usually, I trick myself into feeling full by drinking gallons of water a day-

This week I haven't been able to put down the fork and step away from table,

Because of this, my gut is doughy and threatening to burst at any moment.

Two nights ago I was in so much pain that I though my appendix was going to explode-

I woke up at 4 a. m. with sharp pains in my side,

After a twenty minute google search and three articles on web MD about appendicitis-

I seriously contemplated calling an ambulance!

...Until I realized it was just horrible gas!

That's when it occurred to me that maybe I'm eating too much shit!

I know, I know... it's okay to have fun and splurge every now and then-

But with Summer, bathing suits and beach parties right around the corner...

it's time to say NO to the chili cheese fries, and hello to the garden salad with a side of vinaigrette!