Action!

I'm up early for a 7:30 call time to set...

Thank God I'm just helping produce this web-series,

I don't have to be in front of the camera-

Believe me, the camera would malfunction if it had to shoot me right now!

In my opinion the only downside to making movies-

THE CALL TIME!

It's not that I don't like waking up at the butt crack of dawn;

I just don't like talking to people this early!

...that, and it's much harder to look like a movie star at 6 am!

Nevertheless, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to accept!

I LOVE to make movies!

Six Word Essay on Life

If I were rich, would I care?

I Hate Bad Haircuts!

How annoying is a bad haircut?!?

...I know, I know- it's only hair. It will grow back. But really?

I've spent a lot of time learning how to be very specific when talking to the stylist;

1/2 inch off the top,

no texturing please,

nice and tight around the sides and back,

taper the back,

no razor,

please don't touch the sideburns.

I don't think that's a lot to ask!

I will watch whoever is cutting my hair listen to the directions, smile and say, "No problem!"

And it's always a problem.

Stylist see my hair, and they love to fuck it up!

So even thought it's only hair, I have to spend the next month looking at it- too short on top, not short enough on the sides, textured worse than Clay Akin, and my sideburns take FOREVER to grow back in fully!

UUUUhhhhhggggg! There's not enough pomade, gel or paste to make this haircut work!

God- I hate bad haircuts!

...and a week before my birthday! I just wanted to look fresh and clean...

Now I look like Ryan Seacrest!

Lazy!

Laying in bed,

A lump,

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,

Yearning for energy to do anything!

The French Can Dip...

Haute couture, delicious cheese, bold wines-
The French know how to do almost everything to perfection!

But are they really responsible for creating my number one favorite sandwich of all time:
the French Dip?
...I think not!

Shocking I know, I was surprised to find out that the sandwich I have worshiped and adored since I was weaned off the nipple was in fact created right here in sunny Los Angeles! Though two restaurants in Los Angeles have been fighting over who was Le Original since 1908... My vote goes to Philippe's!

No matter how you slice and dice it... there are very few places that can destroy the beauty of thinly sliced beef, wedged between decadent French baguette and dipped in au jus!

So no offense to France- I still love champagne! But when it comes to sandwiches, I'll take a French Dip over a Jambon-buerre any day!

(But I'd like a side of baguette and butter to go please!)

Long Day!

It's official!
I'm old...
It turns out, I can't do an "all-night'r" and roll into work for a
14 hour day...
I'm beyond tired.
In fact, I can hardly keep my eyes open...
So little blog post,
I'm afraid this is as good as it gets!

Whoops!

I knew the day would come...
I'm sad. But on April 24 2010, I forgot to post a blog entry...
So all I can say is I'm ashamed and sorry to myself!
...and I will do my best not to let it happen again this year!
I'm cheating and posting this now... With yesterdays date!
Because I'm that kind of guy...

Saks Fifth Avenue!

I'm not ashamed to say it-

I'll admit that it is true;

I want to be rich and famous,

and shop at Saks Fifth Avenue!

Happy Earth Day!

I'll admit I'm not the "Greenest" person on the planet... In fact, I really HATE those energy efficient light bulbs! I find them to be sterile and ugly! I love the soft glow of amber light while reading in my bedroom....

Nevertheless, I am very aware of the change in our environment- and I want to be more involved in the effort to keep this planet I love gorgeous! I watch Life and Planet Earth on BBC... I see how lucky we are to live on such a beautiful planet, so I want to stop taking it for granted!

Check out these links for excellent (and easy) ways to help save Mother Earth:

Light Bulbs:

http://www.environmentaldefense.org/page.cfm?tagid=609&campaign=480

Recycling:

http://throwplace.com/

http://www.bottlesandcans.com/

http://earth911.org/

No more plastic bags:

http://www.reusablebags.com/

Reuse your bottles:

http://www.epa.gov/reg3wcmd/solidwasterecyclingfacts.htm

So there you have it! Thank you to my amazing friend (and Greenest person I know) Amy Claire for compiling this list of links! Go Big Green!

Memory Lane...

I just took a wild trip down memory lane...

I spent the morning scanning old family photos onto my computer and archiving them to a floating satellite in space somewhere...

This way, regardless of whatever act of nature that might one day inflict itself on my home...

i. e. flood, fire, earthquake, etc...

I will always have a digital copy.

I REALLY stress out about losing things. On top of that, I suffer from OCD (self-diagnosed) and so I feel the need to have multiple copies of everything achieved, labeled, cross-referenced and stored.

Plus, a bonus advantage was getting to upload all the goofy family photos to Facebook-

I mean if you can't embarrass your family on a social website, when can you?

The crazy thing is all of the emotions that came up while scanning the pictures! Seeing myself at age one, ten or fourteen is wild... But nothing in comparison to the pictures of my mom and dad with my sister and me before their divorce. It's startling- because I'm an adult now and both my mom and dad are happily remarried and have been for years. Nevertheless, it was a reminder that at one point in my life, the four of us were a perfect, happy family!

It was also tough to see pictures of my Grandpa Shaffer. He's been gone now for seven months, and it's just another revelation of how fast time passes!

That's the beauty and reality of life- The moments we share are special gifts in time. We can look back on them with fond memories, but once they're gone, all we have left is a peace of paper or a digital copy and whatever we remember in our minds...

Dirty Laundry...

I used to love doing laundry!

It's easy when you live at home with mom and dad in your comfy home, with their nice laundry room that's loaded with detergents, fabric softeners, stain removers and a beautiful front load washer and dryer!

Then you move out into the real world... where you're lucky to live in an apartment complex that has one ghetto washer and dryer in the dirty, dark, wet and moldy basement- sharing with all of the nasty tenants that live in your building. (You don't think they look nasty when you say hello and goodnight to them in the elevator...)

But boy do they prove you wrong in the laundry room;

gross hair clogging the never cleaned lint trap, random unmatched dirty socks laying in a puddle of water in the center of the room, empty soap bottles thrown everywhere (except the trash can that is over stuffed with rancid fast food containers...) Revolting!

And of course, some buildings don't have a laundry room so you're forced to go to a laundromat!!! Which I don't even want to get into!

Uhhhhggggg! I dread walking to my hall closet to throw my dirty clothes into the bin... because I'm reminded that I'm one step closer to needing to do a load of laundry.

Alas, I can put it off no longer! I HAVE to do a load of laundry today, or I'm going to have to wear my swim suit and a blazer... because I have no underwear left and all my shirts have stains on them!

Addicted to Pork!

Bacon, Pork Chops, Ham, BBQ Ribs, Pulled Pork Sandwiches, Pork Tender Loin...
It's just not fair that something that taste so amazing,
comes from a cute little animal-
...and that it's so bad for you!!!

But I love Pig!

Salt, juicy, crisp and delicious- The key to everything savory: Pork!

D. C. Vacation Day Three

I hate good-byes!

Today is the last day in D. C.
Our group lead the party like pros!

All and all it was a beautiful wedding and an amazing trip!
I think we had a most excellent adventure-

From an 80 degree sunfilled day touring The Mall, to a wild night of drinking and dancing at the Columbia Country Club and now freezing our asses off waiting for our shuttle back to Dulles Airport...
I LOVED every minute of this three day friend-fest!

D. C. Vacation Day Two

Hungover all morning...
Starbucks at 12:30 pm
Lunch in Bethesda-

...now a pre-wedding champagne toast in the hotel with the gang!
Congrats Ellen & Brian! We love you!

...and I love D. C. vacations!

D. C. Vacation Day One

Wow! Red-eye flights suck!
You know how you think you're gonna sleep the whole flight,  but then you remember that you can't sleep sifting upright on a full flight with no air for four hours...

But day one of DC vacation is off to an excellent start!
There is nothing more fun than traveling with close friends to a destination wedding...

Today, after landing at six in the morning...
We took the metro to the hotel we were staying at and because of a really nice hotel employee... We got to check into our rooms and freshen up!

After a ten minute Metro ride-   we did a ten cent tour of D. C. From the U. S. Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial... We covered The Mall and everything in between; the U. S. Botanic Gardens, the Smithsonian, and a glimpse of The White House...  Somehow we even lucked out and did not have to wait in a line through the National Archives!

We finished our two hour race through D. C. at a popular bar in the area and got nice and toasted by 3 pm!
Just in time to make it back to the hotel in time for a quick shower and costume change before our rehearsal dinner!

Yes. I think vacation day one is off to a beautiful start!  ...and the night is young! It's only 5:30 and there's an open bar until 10!

The Art of Packing...

When I was nineteen and on tour with Girodano Jazz Dance Chicago my eyes were opened for the first time in many ways-

I'd never been to Europe, I'd never been drunk before and I never traveled with Christie Kitchen!

The later, Christie Kitchen, was my roommate on tour.

The artistic director of the company thought it was a wonderful idea to have each of the company members share a room with their counterpart off stage...

This way when you have a shitty performance, you don't just get to hear about what a terrible partner you are in the wings off stage- but the conversation carries into the hotel room in Europe, where you very quickly realize, you will no longer be sleeping...

But, the point of this story is not to talk about all the drama that can happen between partners on tour- instead, I'd like to focus on the reason I'm most grateful for my roommate and dance partner for three seasons on tour! ....Christie Kitchen and The Art of Packing!

Christie, could pack a suit case like no other! All this, before airlines started charging for; food, water, aisle seats and of course.... bag check!

Christie was a pioneer! Her favorite thing to do off stage was unpack and pack...

I was always amazed at what she could get in the soft-sided duffel suit case!

My favorite highlights:

The fold and roll. Self-explanatory really, but the idea is to fold along the seems (to reduce wrinkles) and then roll toward the collar or waist to form a small "fruit roll-up" like shape. Allowing more room to stack shirts, slacks, and even sport coats!

and

The shoe stuff! Again, very simple idea... stuff whichever pair of (multi-purpose) black dress / sport shoes with all of your under garments and socks- Providing support for the shoes, so they don't lose their shape, and allowing perfect storage space for the necessary unmentionables!

Small steps like this take almost no time at all, save space and make traveling a little less complicated!

So Christie- You'll be happy to know that every time I leave town, I think of you! We had our ups and downs on the road- however, the gift of teaching me how to pack, is one that has saved me numerous headaches, and will keep me traveling efficiently for a lifetime!

....even if you did make me cry while you were screaming at me for bring two suitcases on a three month tour of Europe for my first time!

Mission Accomplished!

I ask you:

Is there anything better than an afternoon wine tasting?

Okay, maybe there are a few things that give the sweet nectar a run for the money...

But drinking large quantities of vino, paired with delicious cheeses and fresh baguette is a perfect way to spend a day-

You know that you accomplished living a full day, when you can barely string together a sentence before falling asleep.... zzzzzzzzzzzzz............ zzzzzzzzzzzz............... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............

Detox ASAP

Enough is enough!

I've spent the past week in a thick haze of gluttony-

I never have a problem overeating,

In fact, it's what I do best-

I love food. I crave it every second on the day...

Usually, I trick myself into feeling full by drinking gallons of water a day-

This week I haven't been able to put down the fork and step away from table,

Because of this, my gut is doughy and threatening to burst at any moment.

Two nights ago I was in so much pain that I though my appendix was going to explode-

I woke up at 4 a. m. with sharp pains in my side,

After a twenty minute google search and three articles on web MD about appendicitis-

I seriously contemplated calling an ambulance!

...Until I realized it was just horrible gas!

That's when it occurred to me that maybe I'm eating too much shit!

I know, I know... it's okay to have fun and splurge every now and then-

But with Summer, bathing suits and beach parties right around the corner...

it's time to say NO to the chili cheese fries, and hello to the garden salad with a side of vinaigrette!

Birthday Parties

Birthday parties in LA-

They're crazy because you forget your friends have other friends...

It's so fun to sit back and watch them all figure it out!

Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head...

Rain falling outside-

A slow and steady Sunday.

Didn't do typical weekend things today-

But it really paid off for me!

I had a good day,

But I'm somehow still hungry-

I'm just not sure if the undernourished feeling is from a lack of food.

Hangover...

I have a cater-waiter hangover!

In case you don't know what that is;

I'm not sure why,

but I made it through my twenties living in New York city, NEVER having to work as a cater-waiter. I remember hearing all of my friends bitch and moan about how awful it is to serve rich people cold appetizers and tons of alcohol at lavish parties... and still have unhappy guest treating the "help" like shit. So I'm beyond grateful that I escaped that nightmare!

Flash forward to present day- and I find it delightfully ironic that at thirty-one years old... I finally got to be a cater-waiter! Though I must admit, my circumstances are entirely different!

I was working a dinner party for a wealthy friend of a friend. (Everyone has them in LA!) I was also fortunate to have three of my closest friends in Los Angeles working the evening with me... and the icing on the cake: the guest were not the only ones getting drunk!

I find that booze is a wonderful (secret) ingredient for any would be cater-waiter! So long as you can smile and flirt with the guest, make the host or hostess happy and carry more than one plate at a time... the world is at peace! Plus, I walked home with a cool wade of cash in my pocket at the end of the night! ...it's like I got paid to party with interesting rich people and three of my best friends- and the gourmet food and Veuve Clicquot was the happy ending!

Only downside... waking up today with a massive hangover! Oh well! Small price to pay! I wonder if I ever brought Debi Mazar that glass of wine?

Thirty-one Is No Twenty-one!

It's no surprise to anyone reading this, how fast time goes. I'm sure we've all had those flashes in time, where we think, "Oh my God! That was ten years ago?!?"

I'm not the type of person that spends too much time looking back. I really enjoy each day for the new adventure it brings. I guess that might be why I'm always so shocked when I remember that I'm not a kid anymore...

I'm thirty-one years old, and on most days... I feel like I'm still a teenager. I'm sure a large part of that is what I do for a living... I don't have a nine to five job. Everyday is a different escapade. I spend time creating imaginary worlds and playing pretend with other "grown-ups" trapped in make-believe land... AKA Hollywood.

Yesterday, I enjoyed an amazing day on the set, shooting a movie musical with a talented group of friends and colleagues. We sang. We danced. We laughed. We stood on our feet for twelve hours; hitting marks, missing marks, and (because it's a movie musical) take-after-take of lifts... I had a blast! There really is nothing I love more than creating! Whether it be on a set, a stage or my living room.

...and then I woke up today, and it hit me like a ton of bricks! The only difference between being twenty-one and thirty-one, is the violent reaction your body has the day after a mammoth event... Sure, you might feel like a rock star in the moment, but once your head hits the pillow that night- good luck! My body aches everywhere and the bags under my eyes are so large they'd most certainly have to be checked-in at the airport! Wow. I'm not twenty-one anymore. I wonder how I'll feel at forty-one!?!

Quite On The Set

I'm up early and excited to greet the day!

Today, I'm shooting a short film- where I get to act, sing and dance with one of the most talented and gorgeous girls I know! Autumn Guzzardi!

I'm also looking forward to being directed by the brilliant Jeff Payton!

It's always fun to make things happen in Hollywood.... even if it is one short film at a time!

...and we have to thank for this project: Joelle Sorensen! Our executive producer, writer and editor! Also, for bring on board an amazing crew and D. P. for this adventure!

In my mind, there is nothing cooler than working with friends on projects that make you happy!

Too bad I ate way too much stromboli last night for dinner... and now I have horrible gas and I feel like a fat ass in my costume! ...Oh well, that's showbiz!

Six Word Essay on Delicious Food

Overeating is what I do best!

...Oh no! Not Again!

I spent the morning in a sunny spot at a delicious cafe in Los Angeles...

The beauty of living in this city is that no matter where you are or what time of day, you know that you're going to be surrounded by creative people- making "things" happen. Which is presicely what I was working on...

Specifically, I spent time writing down ideas for my next go at stand-up comedy... I'm not exactly sure I'm prepared to get back up on stage solo and have people laugh at me...

Although, if not now... when? Besides- I go out of my way to live life on the edge, and for me stand-up is definitely that!

I swore up and down (after the last time I bombed at the Friar's Club in LA) that I would never do it again! ... and yet I sat happily today- laughing out loud at my own silly humor... let's just hope someone else does too!

Oh what do I care? I really have nothing to lose. ...and I have plenty to say!

Recently, I've felt a strong urge to get up and express my views and call attention to many of the absurdities in life that I'm fascinated with; like Kate Gosselin on Dancing With The Stars or why anyone watches Two and A Half Men?

And I know my friends are tired of hearing me bitch about these things and more...

So I might as well get up on stage and rant to an overcrowded, slightly drunk and bored group of people I don't know- maybe they'll think I'm funny!

Read A Book!

I'm positive my love for books grew from my Gram Shaffer's passion for reading...

I must have been five or six years old the first time I can remember going to the library with my Gram.

I recall every moment:

Pulling up to the beautiful old municipal building, with the large cement stairway leading up to the main entrance, walking through the front door hand-in-hand with Gram... The smell of the sweet, slightly dusty books that hits you the minute you step through the threshold. The mountainous rows of books that towered over me from every angle. Cherry red industrial carpet lined the path around the maze of history, Fiction and periodicals. The very eccentric and boisterous librarian (who happened to be my Grams best friend) greeted me with a big kiss on the cheek and handed me a stack of books that she preselected special for me!

Each with the delicious aroma of a hardback book, covered with a clear plastic book cover and scotch tape.

I could hardly wait to open the front cover and remove the index card that awaited my name (in pencil) and a stamp of approval with a return date!

...just when I thought it couldn't get more exciting... I remember being lead down a long hall to the basement, where a group of kids were already gathered in a small circle for "The Kids Corner." An hour each week, where local authors would come in and read their favorite children's book!

I could go on for hours about my pure adoration for books, but instead, I think I'll leave you with a list of my favorite books (in random order) and hopefully it will re-inspire you to get swept away in the wonderful world of a brilliant story and your imagination!

My All Time Favorites:

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

ANYTHING that David Sedaris writes! Seriously, I love them all!

...and most recently I'm obsessed with Jonathan Ames (I'm on his third book) Some are essays some are Fiction... all are honest, hilarious and brilliant... Story telling at its finest!

In case you were wondering; The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein was and always will be, my favorite children's book.

Easter

Everyone gathers to celebrate.

A sacrifice has been made.

So many things to be grateful for.

Traditions that are passed down.

Eating too much pasta and ham.

Rejoice!

Creativity...

The process is always different,

the feeling is always the same-

Creating a project with a group of talented artist,

who happen to be good friends is amazing-

I'm lucky.

I'm doing exactly what I love. Precisely what I dreamed of-

I get to play make-believe everyday for a living.

I'm not rich.

But it's a great life!

The overwhelming joy from seeing a project through completion-

priceless.

Give Me Chocolate!!!

I love Easter time!!!

Of course the prime reason to celebrate if you're a good Catholic boy like myself... is the resurrection of Christ.

Then there are all the fun things like; the Easter Bunny, brunch with family and friends at an over priced restaurant, the new Easter outfit that you get to buy...

But the part I get most excited about is:

The Cadbury Mini Easter Eggs!

I get so excited when walking through a Target or regional chain drug stores candy aisle around this time of year... that beautiful purple bag with the colorful logo!!! It takes me right back to when I was a fat kid hoarding all the candy that my mom would leave out for our Easter guests...

So far this year I've only consumed three small bags of the delicious candy coated chocolate eggs... Not nearly enough in my mind! Especially since Easter is only two days away, and the minute the holiday is over, those purple bags of heaven get ripped off the shelves until next year!!!

I'm pretty sure those devils over at the Cadbury plant lace the candy coating with heroin! Matter of fact, if you'll excuse me- it's time to go rip into another bag!

April Fool's!!!

APRIL FOOL'S!

I gotcha! Starbucks isn't giving away free beverages today...

But if you fell for my April Fool's prank, I will treat you to a home brewed cup of

Joe...

Just swing by my house: