Blessed

I have my health,

My family and friends.

My passion and creativity continue to thrive,

A beautiful home filled with puppies and love,

Food and water- I've never gone without.

Despite the loss and setbacks in life,

I'm grateful. 

I know I have been blessed with wonderful opportunities, and I must remind myself to be thankful for the beauty in my life.

Six Word Essay on Airports

Transferring terminals for a layover sucks!

Coffee!!

The smell alone is killing me...

This line is so ridiculous!

Why must all these people take so long?

Have you never been to a Starbucks before?!

Raging!!!

Six Word Essay On Sleep

I never get enough of it!

Life on Tour

Bloated and tired,
I lack sleep.
Trying to catch up on "life" at home,
While working and living out of a bag.
It's fun for a day in every new city...
Then it just becomes another hotel room that IS NOT your home.
Friends are near to keep you smiling,
Even if your laughing at the conditions.
Grateful for the opportunities,
Just wish I could go to the bathroom...

I'm Up!

I'm up two hours before I'd like to be...
I'm up two hours before I need to be...
I'm up for a call time that I WON'T get paid for...
I'm up for NO reason at all...
I'm up because it's my job, and I'll do it with a smile...
I'm up on tour, and wish I was at home with my family!
I'M UP!

Life on Tour

Eat, sleep, work, travel-
Pause: to return home for my gram's funeral-
Back on the road;
Eat, sleep, work, travel-
Pause: to get married! An event that we planned in half a day (while catching connecting flights at two different airports.
One night at home as a married man-
Then;
Travel, eat, sleep, work...
Life on tour never gets dull.
I work twice as hard to stay focused, active, creative, outgoing and happy while I'm out of LA.
Otherwise, I'd just be a cranky biathc!

It's Official!

After 11 years of happiness, love, success and a lot of laughter...
It is official!!!
I didn't think I'd feel a "change" but I was wrong-
Nothing would have prepared me for how huge an impact yesterday was.
I'm so blessed to be surrounded by a loving, accepting group of friends and of course my family!
Here's to a lifetime of continued joy!

Tying The Knot

After 11 wonderful years,
A proposition of hate,
And a ruling for Equality-
Love will prevail today.
Jeff and I are tying the knot.
There's never been a person in my life that has influenced, inspired, challenged or loved me more!
I hope that I can be that for him too!
For the rest of our lives.

Forced Happiness

It's a goal of mine to remain happy-
Grateful for the blessing (and there are a lot of them) that I have in my life.
Nevertheless, I have those days when I wake up, and the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
Dealing with the loss of my grandma has been tough.
I know life goes on, and I've thrown myself into my job and creative projects to ease the pain-
But this morning I woke up and I just can't shake it off...
It's in these moments that I default to something I refer to as:
Force Happiness.
I'm not happy in any way,
But I lie to my self, and tell myself that if I pretend to be happy I will trick my mind into believing it.
I'm not sure that its working, but it's better than walking around in a state of depression.

The Art of Packing

When you spend half your life living out of a suitcase, you get used to packing.

The secret is to fold your clothes and then roll them up like a burrito. 

You can stack twice as much that way!

It also helps if you buy clothes that can be worn in a number of matching combinations, allowing you several outfits without overpacking!

Life on Tour

Laying in bed awake,
If I fall asleep now I'll get 4 hours of sleep.
I have to work all day tomorrow!
Finally pass out...
Time to wake up,
I hope I stay awake today!
#IMissMyOwnBed.

Missing Gram

Woke up feeling sad,

Really missing Gram.

Her spirit is around, I know.

I just wish I could call her and hear her voice.

Trying to remember that she's no longer in pain,

I just wish I could say the same.

A Lot of Beer

...and a lack of sleep makes for a long day in the theatre!

Life on Tour

Day 1-

I'm up early,

Ready for a Starbucks session:

Iced tall coffee with soy,

Post my blog entry,

Write in my journal,

Catch up on email,

Post my Instagram, (Social Media!!)

I'm focused on staying in shape and committed to my daily goals.

Finding balance on tour is NOT impossible...

It just takes losing sleep.

Airport Goodbyes

Once again at an airport.

I've always associated airports with sadness-

Despite the fact that happy times come from visiting family and friends,

Not to mention awesome vacations...

Yet my lasting memories of airports is always from the end of a wonderful visit.

Saying goodbye.

This trip is especially difficult, because I had to say goodbye to my gram for the last time.

I'm always thankful for new adventures, but going to the airport is always bittersweet.

I've spent my adult life leaving people curbside.

I'll never get used to it.

But I'm learning to deal with it.

...very slowly.

Guardian Angel

Losing gram this week was extremely devastating.
She was my best friend;
No one has ever inspired me,
Or believed in me more.
She was the first person I shared my victories with,
She eased the sting of my setbacks.
She reminded me of my accomplishments,
She knew my worth, and had faith in my talent.
I know that my life will go on,
I imagine the pain will never fully go away-
I just keep reminding myself that I could not have a better person as my guardian angel!
I trust that she will be up there working double time.
And nobody is more charmingly persistent,
Or effective at convincing people to take a chance!
I love you gram.

RIP Gram

The worst part of life, is saying goodbye to the ones you love most.

Gram is no longer in pain-

That's the only comforting thought.

I will miss hearing her voice.

#Sad #LongDay

In Memory of Sharlene (Gram) Shaffer 1936 - 2013

Sharlene Marie Shaffer, 77, of Florence, passed away Saturday, June 29, 2013 with her family by her side. Sharlene was born in Canon City, CO on May 6, 1936 to Mike and Mary (Moschetti) Brator. After graduating from Florence High School, Sharlene began her journey as a wife, mother, grandmother, and community role model. She married her high school sweetheart, Anthony Lawrence Shaffer, and remained happily married for 54 years, until Anthony's passing in 2009.
Sharlene was an active member of her sorority Epsilon Sigma Alpha- the Omega Chi chapter, and just received her 45 year pin. Sharlene was a true leader. She used her creativity, intelligence and outgoing personality in every aspect of her life. She was passionate about every project, job or adventure she took on, including her involvement with St. Benedict's church, the Pioneer Day Board, the Library Board, Fremont County Democratic Committee, working at St. Joseph's Manor, in addition to co-owning Shaffer's Still with her husband for 15 years.
Her favorite pass times always involved her family and friends. She loved trips to Las Vegas and Cripple Creek, playing bingo, dancing at Karaoke, playing in multiple Pinochle clubs, volunteering in her community and bragging about her grandkids.
Sharlene was preceded in death by her husband; Anthony Lawrence Shaffer, parents; Mike and Mary (Moschetti) Brator, and many other cherished relatives. She is survived by her son Tony (Louise), grandchildren; Matthew, Shiree, Julianne, and Abby, great- grandchildren; Kellyn, Seth and Olivia, and numerous cousins, nieces, nephews and friends.

The Price Of Death

Never mind the emotional loss,
I'm shocked and overwhelmed with how much it cost to die.
Everything has a price tag!
On the positive side;
There has been a nonstop barrage of;
donuts, deli platters, cheese plates, veggie trays, fruit salads and beverages!
...and plenty of company to eat, remember, cry and rejoice!
#IMissMyGram

Remembering Gram

It's too painful to write about this right now,
But I'm fighting to celebrate my grams life, rather than mourn it...
May 6, 1936 ~ June 29, 2013

An Unexpected Trip Home...

Last minute trip out of town,
I wish I could say it's for fun...
Gram is not well,
Struggling with Parkinson's.
She's tired, weak and not eating.
Every journey has a destination,
But the best adventures end too soon!
This is the hardest part of life-

Technology Is Fun!

I just downloaded a new photo application for my iPhone.
I've spent the past forty minutes playing around with innovative ways to crop my niece and superimpose her onto funny backgrounds...
Yes, instead of working,
I've been playing with my iPhone.
So basically, not much has change since I was a teenager playing on my Nintendo Game Boy!

I HATE It When...

Something is returned to me via mail because of "incorrect information."
Really?
Because I have a copy, i.e. PROOF that I filled out your shitty form "correctly!"
So now I'm keeping an accurate record of every document and piece of correspondence...
That's right, I'm building a case against your ass!
...and have a great day!

Marriage Equality

The opportunity for two consenting adults that love one another, to proclaim their love in a ceremony with their friends and family-
Now every couple, straight or gay, will have the same rights, obligations and protection under the eyes of the law.
It's a good day in LA!

Random Thought

Remember how much fun summer vacation used to be?
The anticipation of the last day of school.
Then; summer camps, pool parties, beach days, sleeping until 2 PM, watching TV all day, dates at the movie theatre, cruising the mall with friends, trips to visit family, weeknight sleepovers, camping out in the back yard, NO WORK!!!
Oh how fun it would be if adults had three months off in the summer too!

The Thing About Death...

Death is the universal common denominator-

We know we can't escape it, 

Yet we fight to stay young, healthy, active...

We ignore the signs in our aging loved ones.

They deny it too.

No matter how sick, old, tired, hurt or in pain-

I can't imagine anyone is really ever ready to leave this earth.

It's a great unknown.

For many, Faith helps ease the idea and transition,

Still, when faced with death up close and personal,

We fight what we aren't willing to admit-

Death is the worst part of life.

Customer Service...

Used to be with a smile,

Now it's with an automated voice machine...

Lame!

Freeway

People driving in little bubbles,

Selfish, swerving, probably on their phone.

Danger lurks from lane to lane,

So fast, yet so incredibly slow.

Traffic creeps where there's construction,

Cops are waiting near "on ramps."

How can 5 lanes be filled with cars-

All in their own little isolated world.

Wake up people, cars are weapons, and you are driving like an asshole!

Note From The Road...

No matter how much sleep you get the night before, you're never ready for a 5 AM tech call!

Cracked!

Woke up with a stiff neck,
Rolled over to crack my back and instant pain ensued!
The older I get, the more my body aches...
Soon, I'll have to do a warm-up just to get out of bed!

Life Lessons:

If you want to accomplish a project,

Start it!

If you've started a project, 

Get it done!

If you want to complain about how hard it is:

You're not ready to accomplish the project!

Poor Little Shih Tzu

Poor Little Shih Tzu

With an injured leg.

Her Yorkie sister is doing her best to comfort her.

Puppies can't tell us what's wrong with them,

They just curl up in a ball with sad eyes.

Coffee. A Poem

The smell is intense, it wakes me up-

Oh how I need it in my big cup.

I can't get things done, until I'm awake,

So get me some coffee for goodness sake!

Mass, Brunch, Beach, True Blood

Sunday,

Fun day.

Friends, Faith and Food!

Trapped In The Carpool Lane

Little HOV,

So fast and easy... usually.

But then you follow a car so slow,

You want to drive them off the road!

Dinner Party with Friends!

Pop the cork,

The dancing begins,

Appetizers passed,

Then dinner with friends,

Lot's of champagne, wine and food-

Went to bed early...

Got up late!

Fix It!

I hate that awful feeling...
When you've made something wrong,
Make it right as soon as possible.
Otherwise it will slowly begin to eat away at you from the inside out.
Not to mention, it's just the right thing to do.

Rise and Hike!

I love waking up early in LA-

The sun is still hiding behind the morning marine layer,

The streets are calm, and so am I.

A hike through the hills surrounding my house,

It's easy to meditate and enjoy the magical Los Angeles skyline.

I'm reminded of how gorgeous LA is.

As I take in the smell of the jasmine and lavender that fill the air, 

I appreciate how easy life can be.

I'm inspired to keep my calm, focused, energy throughout the day.

Now is the perfect time to create!

Some Days...

Just F_CKING PISS ME OFF!
That's all.

Monday Media Madness!

It's always tough getting started.

A pile on the desk, emails galore and the inevitable phone calls...

I like to start on Facebook.  I figure, at least I'm online and headed in the right direction...

Just don't let two hours pass before you realize that all you've done is "like" peoples pet pictures!

Time to get some real work done.
 And by that I mean, I need to figure out what I'm going to Tweet today...
 I'm losing Twitter Followers by the dozens!

Social Media turns my Mondays into madness.

Never Too Old...

A wise woman (my grandma) once told me, "you're never too old..."
I loved hearing that from hear then, and I think about it often now.
I believe that it's never too late to do what we are passionate about pursuing.
Just as I believe you're never too old to have fun, party and stay out late...
It just hurts a lot more, a lot sooner and takes a lot longer to recover!

Saturday In LA... a Poem.

I'm not on the road,
I'm in LA!
Spending my weekend without work,
just PLAY!
A weekend off is a nice change of pace...
But don't get to used to it,
Next weekend, I'm back in the race!

I Love LA.

The view of downtown from my house at night is stunning.

I love LA.

A Trip To The Museum...

Because sometimes life is just too serious:

It's Go Time!

The work is done.
Blood, sweat and tears, poured into endless hours of writing, shooting and editing.
Today, preparation meets opportunity...
It's time to close the deal!

Work, Work, Work.

When you don't have a day job,
There are no set rules...
You'd think that would be a good thing?!
Not at all.
Because there is no defined structure,
One tends to feel obligated to "take action" or "do something" the minute you think of a project or task that needs to be completed.
Translation:
Waking up in the middle of the night to go to your office to add the final touch to that pitch proposal!
...which means no sleep last night, and yet here I am, back in my office working!
Some call it "independent contractor,"
I call it: "around the clock hustler."

Monday Mission

To finish six projects that are in various stages, take a hike, run errands, catch up on some Reality TV (to write our next parody) and spend some time with a dear friend...

I guess I should start by getting out of bed!

Just another manic Monday~

Daily Reminder:

You're not getting any younger!

Eat well, stretch often, stay healthy-

And laugh A LOT!

Traffic Jam! A Poem...

Even on Saturday there's traffic in LA?!

5 Lane Freeway, shut down to one lane-

Late for work,

Nothing but rage!

I HATE When...

People put words in my mouth!
Don't tell me what you think I'm going to say, listen to what I'm saying.
And yes, I "sound angry," because I AM ANGRY!
That's what happens when people tell me what they "think" I'm feeling.
R-A-G-E!

Random Observation:

Our downstairs neighbor is playing Madonna really loud right now...

Actually, always.

He's twenty-something...

I remember that.

Carb Overload!

Last night I ate 4 servings of spaghetti and meatballs...
Today: Water, lettuce and a hand full of nuts,
Nobody likes a fatty!

So LA!

Creative meeting at Starbucks in West Hollywood,
Development meeting at Aroma Cafe in Studio City,
Hike in Beverly Hills,
Production in Hollywood,
Dinner party with friends at home-
A full day of meetings with LA peeps.
So LA.

A Childhood Dream

The desire sparked early-

No plan. 

Just faith and passion.

One opportunity grew into the next,

Becoming a career.

Now working towards new adventures;

Nothing happens over night-

But with every step the dream manifests.

Six Word Essay on Following Your Passion...

Brutal and gratifying all at once!

I Get Paid For This?!

Japanese Steakhouse Dinner,

Water park adventure,

Late night drinks in the hot tub,

Adventures with friends,

Watching dancers perform all day...

I have a good life!

Time To Fly!

My work week is starting...

Up at 4 AM,

Airport by 5:15 AM

Boarded by 6:22 AM

Sitting on runway... Time unknown!

The glamorous life of a weekend warrior!

Six Word Essay on Long Days

I need to go to bed!

Run, Run, Run...

Wake up early,
On the go.
Errands,
Cleaning,
Appointments...
Vacation isn't always a break-
Sometimes it's the same routine in a different city.

Project!

I love a project.

Today I'm helping my sister-in-law organize her garage.

It's filled with things you think you're going to use again, and never do...

Junk!

And I LOVE to play:

Keep, Trash, Giveaway!

It satisfies my OCD, and gives me a sense of accomplishment!

Plus, it's a free workout.

Early to Rise

Up with the sun-
The birds are certainly happy,
and loud!
I love the smell of morning air,
Wet grass,
Coffee brewing.
With an early start, you increase the life of your day by double!
Finishing an entire days worth of work in the first 2 hours of the morning...
Making the most of a head start.

Dear India...

I’m sure you’re a beautiful country.
Your food, culture and films are lovely.
It’s not your fault that American companies have decided to outsource their customer service…
I know that questions get lost in translation.
But please, put down the script and stop repeating everything back to me.
That is not an answer. It’s my question repeated.
So FUCKING annoying.
Of course, I’m completely aware that the real culprit is the CHEAP ASS,
MONEY HUNGRY, WORTHLESS, AMERICAN GREED-FILLED, CORPORATION that decided to OUTSOURCE in the first place.

A Trip To Costco...

Everyone's larger...

I mean EVERYTHING! 

21st Century Lifestyle...

300 miles away from home or the office;
Last minute "urgent" work to be done...
The industry never stops!
Pop in to the nearest Starbucks:
Coffee and WiFi ASAP!
With my MacBook Pro, my iPhone and Skype I can conquer anything!
The best part, no one even needs to know I'm on vacation!
Social media, technology and a fast paced lifestyle can be overwhelming...
It can also allow you to live a life ANYWHERE!

Validation

It takes Faith to release fear, remove doubt and trust that what's meant to be will be...

It's overwhelmingly validating when you're rewarded with a sign that confirms you're on the right path.

No matter how many times I have to relearn this lesson, I'm always grateful when (no matter how unsure I am that I will succeed) I receive another confirmation!

Creativity and Productivity!

In order to be creative you have to stay productive.

In order to be productive you have to stay creative.

It's a viscous cycle!

Random Observation...

People spend all of their time standing in line, online.

Monday Madness...

Schedule meetings,
Return phone calls,
Answer emails,
Run errands,
Preproduction,
Creative writing,
Meditation,
and somehow manage to work in a workout?!
It must be Monday!

Gigs

God 

I'm

Good

Stringing jobs together.

Random Observation...

When I wear a tie, I look JUST LIKE my dad! 

Coffee Thoughts...

People that hover the Starbucks counter carefully observing the barista make their custom coffee creations drive me absoLATTE crazy!

Last Day In Bliss...

Morning stretch,

Spa Breakfast,

Yoga,

A dip in the pool followed by a hot tub bath,

Steam room detox,

Salt scrub and shower...

Today is the last day of our birthday spa getaway.

I can't wait to come back!

The Relaxation Continues

I spend the majority of my weeks overachieving... 

This week will not be one of them!

The spa getaway has been EXTENDED!!!

Spa Retreat

The air is clean,
Sage, lavender, jasmine and eucalyptus awake the senses.
Cucumber and orange spa water invigorate the body.
Morning stretch class, followed by yoga strengthening,
Coffee and fruit poolside.
Spa massage, steam room, sauna and salt scrub!
Another dip in the pool,
Dinner at the steakhouse,
A glass of wine in the hot tub...
Sleep, wake and repeat!
I love a spa retreat!

Non Dairy

I woke up to a painful side-ache...
A reminder that I'm getting older and have to give up some of my favorite foods.
Happy Birthday!
Now, say goodbye to cheese...

Birthday Aftermath

Wide awake.
Ready to work,
35 years old and I finally figured out how to party like an "aging" ROCKSTAR!
Drink less alcohol and more water.
Stay hydrated!

If You Have To Work On Your Birthday...

Make sure you have awesome friends who will through a surprise birthday party in your hotel room on tour!
...Looks like my 35th year is off to a wonderful start.
I'm heathy, happy doing what I love and have the worlds best family and friends!

You Cannot Do Everything At Once...

I put too much pressure on myself to do it all.
Classic overachiever-
Thankfully, I'm getting much better at letting go...
And, saying "No."
I can't please everyone, or do everything anymore.
If I don't get to "it" today,
I'm positive I'll make it a priority tomorrow.
...or the day after!

DMV

Remember when going to the DMV was an all day event?
I'm pleased to report that my Driver's License renewal only took 22 minutes from start to finish!
Thanks to the online appointment I booked!
That and the failing economy-
A sure factor in motivating DMV employees that their job is easily replaced...
All I know is that I got fast service, with a friendly smile.
I didn't even have to retake the written test...
That was a pleasant early birthday present!

Beach Day! ...again.

I have plenty of work that needs to get done,
But a day in the sun sure sounds fun.
Life is short, and I believe in balance.
So I'm taking a beach day!
Don't judge me...

Grey LA

Even overcast and gloomy,
LA is a vibrant city.
Everywhere you look tan people casually stroll along in their neon colored skinny jeans, bold patterns and over-the-top designer sneakers...
It might be; "fake" "trying too hard" or "ridiculous."
But it sure makes me smile when the sun won't!
I love LA!

Motivated!

I woke up today with a renewed motivation!
New projects on the horizon,
Plenty of work to get done.
Staying focused and positive is always the way for me...
I'm proud of my past, grateful for my present and excited about my future!

Travel Days...

Up too early,
I NEED coffee ASAP!
Meet in the lobby,
Waiting for the stragglers...
Airport: TSA... Don't even get me started.
Boarding group 5?!
Which is really 10 after First Class Executive EVERYTHING.
Can't wait to get back to LA!
I HATE travel days.

Utah

Gorgeous mountains capped in snow,
Blue skies stretched as far as the eye can see,
Friendly faces smiling bright-
No alcohol anywhere!

An Orchestra At Night...

Fire alarms ringing every fifteen minutes,
Car horns on Sunset blare so loud-
Helicopters hovering and circling the skies.
I want to go to bed,
But all I do is cry.
No sleep!

Back To Yoga!

Breath in and out,
Bend and stretch,
Release life's shit and really cleanse.
Mind, body, soul-
Yoga is my happy place in LA.
After a busy month,
I'm so glad to get back on the mat!

Productivity.

Active,

Creative,

Focused,

Driven,

Determined,

Relentless,

Multitasking,

The ability to get things done, in unlikely circumstances.

Results take action!

Remember:

Gods plan in bigger than yours.

PAID!

The glorious feeling I get from paying bills.
That wonderful moment when you realize you don't owe anything...
At least for the 16 days before the next bill cycle!
Money coming in, makes money going out, a little easier to swallow.
Work, work, work... Bills, bills, bills.
That's life!

Flip Flops

Light and easy,
They're so chill,
Summer's near and I feel like getting my feet ready...
So I'm wearing them with my light weight dress pants.
Deal with it!

Early!

Up too soon.
Not enough sleep-
Work all day and night.
This is going to be a three Starbucks day!

Media Madness!

Nothing to report,
Yet every channel had Breaking News!
Lies, speculation, interviews with "former friends."
Hype, hype, spin, spin.
Oh what a terrible world we live in.
The media is NOT helping.
Rather than make up stories for money, advertising and the "inside scoop."
I wish they'd report REAL news when they know for sure!

Dance!

Twirling,
Contracting,
Twisting,
Lunging,
Leaping,
Soaring-
Watching Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre last night reminded me that dance can have many interpretations, but in the end, the utlimate goal is to be moved!
And I was!
Pure joy!

East Meets West

Dinner with dear friends from New York and LA-
All of us raising a glass for the first time together;
I've worked with him, he's worked with you, you've worked with me...
But we've never been at the same table, at the same time!
Two coasts collide, with plenty of food, laughter, stories... and of course champagne!
Cheers to lifelong friends!

Dinner With Friends

I love having old friends visit.
Laughter. Reminiscing.
And with dancers, a lot of reenacting, eating and drinking!
Last night one of my best friends from NYC and his partner took Jeff and I to a delicious, hip new restaurant in West Hollywood called, Laurel Hardware.  
In the grand tradition of Los Angeles eateries, Laurel Hardware had a gimmick...
Can you guys what it is? ...That's right, the restaurant is a located in a former hardware shoppe on Santa Monica Boulevard!
But all gimmicks, hipsters, model/actors, gorgeous (hidden) outdoor patios, pimped out interior and vibe galore aside...
The food was spectacular!  Seriously, there wasn't one course
from the simple, yet adventurous 4 No. menu that wasn't truly tasty!
The entire evening was a success!
I highly recommend Laurel Hardware for your next dinner with friends.

A Blast From the Past!

A visit from one of my closest friends from NYC;
We spent our 20's dancing around the Great White Way!
I moved to LA to continue my career-
He stayed in New York to soar with Alvin Ailey!
The company is performing in LA!
I can't wait to watch him twirl!!!

Addendum

My trip home also gave me the opportunity to spend quality time with the rest of my family;
Particularly, my sister, niece, mom and dad.
I'm so proud of my sister-
She is raising a magical little girl. Kellyn is smart, outgoing, creative and has a huge personality!
(I'm not just saying this as a love-crazed uncle...)
My sister has survived cancer and continues to fight illness, while renaming strong and active. She is a warrior. I love her, and I'm gratified that we continue to build on our bond.
My mom is a bright light- always supportive, excited and positive about my achievements. She has been my cheerleader and confidante. Our friendship continues to soar. I'm most grateful for our "coffee talks." She's always dropped everything to come to my aid.
Dad- is my hero. He continues to be the constant force in my life. Reminding me, by example, that we can always give, love and do more.
Each trip home, my connection with my sister, mom and dad grows deeper.
I am blessed.

The Aftermath...

My visit home was (at times) very difficult, heartbreaking and overwhelming.
Thankfully on the last day, I was able to gain a fresh perspective and achieve some sense of peace-
Gram was having a very good day, so I took the opportunity to share with her my deepest gratitude, love, respect and admiration.  I managed between fighting back tears and snot, to inform her that she was (and continues to be) my number one driving force, inspiration and role model.
I would not have accomplished half of my achievements in life, had it not been for her unending support.
I told her what a brilliant mother and grandmother she is, and that I will never forget her spirt.
When she replied, it was articulate, sensitive, gentle, loving, humorous and emotional.  (Everything my grandma had been before Parkinson’s took over her body.)
We embraced for a long time, and I asked her if she could still dance with me.
“Of course” she replied. Grabbed my waist and held on as her feet began to step touch and sway side to side.  I was delighted.
We danced, I cried.
She then stopped, looked down at her leg and started shaking it rapidly,
simulating the movement that takes over when she’s having and episode,
“See, it even helps me dance!”   she said, referring to the disease.
She started laughing and I joined in.
That’s the most inspiring thing about my gram, she never lets life get her down!
I love her so much.  I have great hope and faith that we will have many more dances before the music ends!

A Trip Home- Day 5

The time has come for me to leave,
A lot of uncertainty.
Despite the painful truths of life I enjoyed spending time with my family.
I got to spend quality time with my mom, dad, sister and beautiful niece on this trip which doesn't always happen.
Visiting with my cousins, aunties and uncles...
And of course my BOTH of my gram's and grandpa.
It's brutal to realize the facts of life-
Especially when illness is a factor.
It's hard enough to accept that everybody ages...
Time does not stand still!
Ultimately, I'm so grateful for the time I got to spend here.
There were brutal moments, no doubt.
But I know I've been blessed with a loving family, and I trust in Gods plan.

A Trip Home- Day 4

I've been working away from my family for 16 years with the goal of manifesting my passion into a career.
I'm so close to achieving my greatest dream, and that moment of accomplishment may not happen in time to share with the one person who has had the most faith and influence on me.
I am so drained. My heart & mental health are exhausted and there is nothing I can do.

A Trip Home- Day 3

Nothing could have prepared me for this...
The physical symptoms are minor compared to the mental and emotional anguish.
I have so much love and respect for my dad;
courage, patients and faith.
I have so much sympathy for my gram-
She knows the disease is taking over.
I have such disappointment in myself.
I thought my love would make it easier, but I have been tested and failed.
I will try harder tomorrow.

A Trip Home- Day 2

Grateful I get to spend time with family.
I forgot how much fun and laughter we share!
I always try to do too much when I come home,
Running around trying to squeeze in everything.
Then:
Parkinson's Disease is ugly and unfair!
I'm frustrated with my lack of patients!
I love my gram more than anything-
Some days she fights;
She is not the same.
Then without warning she's back!
Laughing, smiling, happy.
Her stubbornness never leaves!
I'm grateful for my time home, I just need to work on my tolerance.

A Trip Home- Day 1

I love spending time with my family.
In some regard it's as if time stands still between visits,
And then there are the moments of complete realization-
I've been gone for 16 years.
It happens so fast!
The hardest part is accepting that I made a choice to follow my dream,
Which meant missing out on so many wonderful occasions.
Thankfully, I still have the highlights.
My Gram's diseases is not one of them.
It is taking over her body;
Uncontrollable shaking,
Uneasy walking and speech.
A really bad tremor can last hours.
I can see her mind fighting it.
Her frustration builds.
Her heart and spirit remain unaffected-
That's the hardest part for me to watch.
I cannot change the past,
Nor can I change the situation...
But I can be present and remember to enjoy the positive aspects of the time I have here-
At home, with family and on earth.

Doubtful...

When you remove the element of doubt, all you’re left with is certainty.

I’m sure if I was on trail for a crime I didn’t commit, I’d PRAY that my lawyer could cast a shadow of doubt in my favor-
Aside from that, I have no room for doubt in my life.

In fact, my entire career has been based on the conviction that I could not fail.

Of course I’ve been unsuccessful at achieving every obstacle I’ve set out to conquer...
Nevertheless, I continue to operate on the basis that if I release the fear (or doubt) I will triumph. 
...and with that kind of attitude, it’s DOUBTFUL that I’ll fail!

Being Gay Is Okay... Even if you're an All-Star!

"No openly gay players in the ranks of pro- football, basketball or baseball?"
Is the first thing I hear this morning when I turned on CNN..
Does that shock you as much as it shocks me?
The year is 2013 right?
It's time for some of these athletic "heroes" to bring their balls out of the closet!

Back On The Road...

A line at TSA,
A line at Starbucks,
A line for the restroom,
A line to board the plane...
My life is full of lines!
Thank God I'm good at choreographing FAST formation changes!
Back to the glamorous life of dance competitions!

The Aftermath...

Day off yesterday;
Beach, fun, food & booze!
Unfortunately today, I just want to SNOOZE!
The escape was nice while it lasted,
But l've got shit to do!
...and a lot of bills to pay.

Random Day Off In the Middle of the Week!

The sun is out and skies are blue,
LA palm trees sway gently in the spring breeze,
Birds are chirping and Starbucks is calling my name...
This calls for an impromptu trip to the beach!

Not The Dentist!

Shot, shot,
No sting-
Numb mouth,
No pain!
Hear the drill,
Smell the burn.
Going to the dentist isn't that bad,
Plus I get to leave with a nice bright smile!

ReconNEcT Working! Week 12 & 13

Okay, so sue me!
I'm a little behind on posting my networking updates..
Nevertheless, I have been keeping up with my 2013 goal of sending good ol' fashioned letters.
The past two weeks have been more focused on Passover and Easter, I thought it made sense to reach out to family members.
Last week I reached out to my dads wife, she has been an incredible help taking care of my grandma, and I wanted to share how much that means to me.
This week I'm sending a note to my cousin Shelby for her 20th birthday!
I know she's a different generation, so I imagine a written letter will come as a shock! I'm pretty sure her idea of communication comes in short form Facebook and text message emoji!
Have no fear, I'm optimistic that US mail will never die!
Not on my watch.

April 1st

It's April 1st,
But I'm no fool-
I won't be tricked into believing I just won the lottery or that something magnificent happened to one of my friends or family members...
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go pack for a 6 week cruise around the world!

Easter

Rejoicing
Praise
Faith
And a ton of cheese...
Because I gave it up for Lent!
Happy Easter.

It's The Day Before Easter...

And all through the house,

Not a bunny to be found...
Just a bunch of little Raisinets!
Or at least I thought they were chocolate...

A Trip To Ikea...

Always ends with me spending too much money on cheap things!

LONG Day!

Up too early,

Shot all day,

Accident in the car,

And now I'm ready to call it a night!

It was a VERY long day in LA!

I Love Production Day!

Waking up early sucks,

But the adventure that follows is awesome.

Hair and make-up,

Running lines, 

Camera blocking,

ACTION!

And of course my favorite... Craft services!

Don't forget; lighting, sound, cameras, editing, props, etc, etc, etc...

There's a ton of shit to do-

But the end product is always so sweet!

Morning Hike

The birds are chirping,

No traffic yet,

Even with a chill in the air and a layer of morning fog-

LA is magical.

Surrounded by Palm trees, 

Passing nannies and the morning dog walkers,

Millions of ideas, goal and dreams swirling through my mind...

Climbing the steady hill past all of the celebrity homes,

The view is magnificent at the top,

And my mind becomes clear, focused and ready to greet the day!

Healthy Breakfast

Scrambled egg whites,

Spinach,

Olives,

Dry toast and fruit instead of hash browns...

This is what mid-30's looks like!

Oh well, at least I feel mid-20's because of it.

Six Word Essay On Dance

Music ignites the soul of soles!

Note To Self:

While bacon added to every meal may taste delicious, it's not necessarily a healthy choice!
#DietDoesntIncludeSaltyPork!

Scrumptious Scone

Waking up early,
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee is only enhanced by the smell of scrumptious scones baking in the oven!
Firm on the outside,
Moist in the middle-
Farm fresh Strawberry jam!
Today is going to be a great day!

Smile... The Dentist Isn't That Bad!

Growing up I hated the dentist!

Needles, drills and that awful smell...

As an adult, I love the dentist!

Clean white teeth are a huge part of my career,

So I've made friends with the dentist,

Now if I could just make peace with the price tag attached to my bright white smile.

Like my dentist says, "Healthy gums are priceless for a long life!"

Yeah... but he's not the one paying for it.

A Grave Production?!

Up at 7am-
Full day of work.
Then-
Shoot begins at midnight.
Up until 7 am!
Talk about a graveyard shift!

Perspective:

My idea of a budget is only going to Starbucks once a day.
The homeless gentleman's idea of a budget is to use the Starbucks to bathe, brew a Lipton cup-o-soup to eat and refill his environmentally safe mug to drink coffee while he waits for his (non-iPhone) monthly cellular device to charge...
I have a blessed life, and I need to remember that!

RecoNEcT Working! Week 10

This week I'm sending a thank you to a woman who has literally been a Godsend in my life.

My grandma lives 2,000 miles away and suffers from Parkinson's Disease.  Because of the nature of Parkinson's, one minute my grandma shows no signs of being sick, and within seconds she can become completely unable to walk, or function without assistance.

Of course this has been a difficult path for her and our family-

Especially because I live so far away.

I'm only able to help by checking in with her daily via the phone.

Fortunately, my grandma has a group of life long friends that act as her; hands when she can't write, her legs when she can't walk and her company when she gets lonely.

I'm reaching out to one of her oldest friends, who has dedicated her time, energy, love and support to helping my grandma when family is not available.

To put it simply, she is an angel.  We are blessed to have her in our lives.

Wear Green...

I'm not Irish, and I'm not sure I believe in luck...

I'm wearing green to avoid the superstitious people who will try to pinch me!

Waking Up Is Hard To Do!

Worked all day,

Up all night,

Alarm goes off and I want to cry.

Late to bed and early to rise-

Life on the road,

UGH!

I (Positively) Hate Flying!

I thought if I threw the word positive in my title, I wouldn't come across as a negative whining bitch...
But seriously I despise flying.
I'll give you one reason:
The overweight annoyed business man that is stuck in the middle seat and behaves like it's my fault he doesn't have enough room, and therefore refuse to share the armrest.
When I ask him (kindly) to share the armrest, I'm met with resistance.
"You're small you don't need the extra room, I do."
So just to be clear, because you're obese I have to suffer?!
Yep, that sounds like self-entitled fat American traveler I'm all too familiar with!
Airlines charge money for overweight bags... When are they going to start charging for overweight people who take up half of my seat?!
I'm tired of being punished for eating healthy and exercising!

I (Positively) Hate Flying!

I thought if I threw the word positive in my title, I wouldn't come across as a negative whining bitch...
But seriously I despise flying.
I'll give you one reason:
The overweight annoyed business man that is stuck in the middle seat and behaves like it's my fault he doesn't have enough room, and therefore refuse to share the armrest.
When I ask him (kindly) to share the armrest, I'm met with resistance.
"You're small you don't need the extra room, I do."
So just to be clear, because you're obese I have to suffer?!
Yep, that sounds like self-entitled fat American traveler I'm all too familiar with!
Airlines charge money for overweight bags... When are they going to start charging for overweight people who take up half of my seat?!
I'm tired of being punished for eating healthy and exercising!

Packing...

I hate to pack.

Primarily because I resent going out of town for work-

But also, I just hate packing.

I wish I was rich like those Beverly Hills housewives,

Then I'd have my maid Thomas pack for me!

See how I did that?

I made my maid a man.

Ugh.

Off to roll my clothes...

I roll when I pack, because it helps prevent wrinkles.

(You can also pack twice as much in one bag!)

A trick I learned from my roommate on tour ten years ago.

She was a bitch, but the bitch knew how to pack!

Random Note:

Eating an entire bar of chocolate at 10 PM is not helping me stay "camera ready!"

NO Time For Stress!

Up at 5 AM for a promo news segment.

Follow up production meeting-

Pre-production for a new TV pilot,

Check-in with manager and agent.

Plan and choreograph for my weekend gig,

Tweet, Facebook, SOCIAL MEDIA!!!

Walk through at a new office space,

Edit and re-write script.

Overwhelmed, but NO time to stress...

All in an LA day!

ReconNEcT Working! Week 9

This week I'm reaching out to a new contact we made in the industry.
He's a talented man, with an arsenal of wisdom and resources!
...and he LOVES what we do at A Group Production.
Hopefully this "old fashioned" note will make a nice follow up impression!

Spring Forward!

This time change always hurts!

I'm grateful for the extra sun,

But the first night is brutal!

I desperately miss the hour of sleep.

Ugh...

[Hits snooze button, again.]

The Talent Continues...

Up at the crack of dawn,

Dancers warming up on stage-

How can anyone dance full out at 8 AM?!

Youth.

Ambition.

Drive.

Youth...

The life of a dancer;

Work hard. Never complain. And dance when you're told to!

Another weekend, another talent competition.

Suck It Up!

There are moments in life when a person that has screwed you over in the past, reaches out for help. 

In those instances we are faced with two options;

Respond in a positive manner. Gracefully decline or accept the invitation to get "played" again.

OR

Give them a piece of your mind and tell them to F_CK OFF!

I'm proud of myself today-

I took the high road.  As much as I don't enjoy collaborating with lunatics, I realize that an enemy is more manageable when kept close.

So I had to suck it up and smile.

Observation...

Coming home to my adorable, cuddly puppies makes a stressful LA day melt away!

Meetings, Production, PR... Oh My!

Up at the crack of dawn,

Ready for a full day.

Morning meetings, 

Creatively peeking the interest of “suits.”

Wrap up meeting with manager,

Followed by pre-production work,

With enough time for a “power PR” lunch meeting.

It’s not even 3 PM and I’m ready to go to sleep!

All in an LA days work…

Social Disease

Blog it,

Tweet it,

Instagram it,

Post it on Facebook,

Pin It,

Upload it on YouTube,

and then start all over again!

The world has developed a social disease-

We don't talk to people, we text them.  We don't have conversations about our families, we share Instagram photos...

I'm guilty of this addiction HARDCORE!

I think I need to take a break from the social media,

Right after I check my Twitter account to see if I have any new followers!

Six Word Essay on Early Mornings

Don't talk until I have coffee!

ReconNEcT Working Week 8

Sometimes you have to reach out to a former mentor and share how grateful you are for their guidance...

Even when that person was a nasty, power hungry, condescending artistic director who loved playing games.

The truth is, this person was extremely talented at their job, despite having any creativity of their own, they really knew how to draw it out of others.

I learned a lot from my time with this person;

I discovered that there is a nice way to get things done, an evil way to say something and how to travel overseas.

So this week, I'm sending an overdue F_ck-off, in the form of a "Thank You!"

See?

Progress.

Long Day

It was a long ass day.
Not even the (2) TWO venti lattes from Starbucks will keep me up tonight!
Probably because the (3) THREE glasses of wine I had at the end of this epic day are making me tired.
Good Night!

Travel Day.

Out the door in time to stop at Starbucks!
Airport is empty-
Speed through TSA,
Get to the gate and run into a friend.
Just enough time for a quick hello!
Time to board...
I appreciate travel days when they're like this!
Hopefully a great sign for a breezy weekend!
Oh, the glamorous life!