Just Let It Go...

Releasing the stress of the day,
Sometimes things just don't go the way you want them to!
The harder you fight to make it work,
The more it blows up in your face!
Frustrated by uncontrollable circumstances that block the task-
The rage builds from the lack of control.
Then it occurs to me,
I have the power to just let go!
Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start.

Random BBQ

Summer is coming to an end.

So is the propane in our tank...

We might be running low on heat, but thank God we've got a lot to drink!

There's nothing like a random Tuesday night BBQ with friends.

Life is good.

Over Budget...

It's a wonderful thing we had a great shoot...

Because we came in over budget.

Not by much, but enough to hurt where it counts.

I guess I'll be eating Ramen Noodles for the next month-

It's good to know that I'm still creating fun projects...

and eating like I did when I was eighteen because of it!

Such An Amazing Shoot!

Today was an amazing day. Making a dream come true!

That's A Wrap!

That's a wrap on the first day of shooting!
It was a full day- Very successful... I had a lot of fun too!
Tomorrow is the long day!
Off to get my beauty sleep. I'm so blessed that I have the opportunity to follow my heart... I know this work is going to pay off.

Are Those Cher's Rhinstones?

The pre-production work continues on our delicious new television pilot...

Today we stopped by The Costume House to pick up the fabulous costumes for our opening credits!

It would be a gross understatement to say that I'm elated with the magnificent detailing on these costumes... Thanks to our a brilliant costume designer Will Brattin and our wonderful production designer George Skinner for the recommendation, our opening credits are going to hit the high note!

Oh, and if the delectable gold rhinestones on our bowler hats and bow ties look familiar, then you have a great eye... Will added a few of the very rhinestones once worn by Cher!

Honestly, what outrageously fabulous musical opening theme song would be complete without a touch of Cher?!?

Production Continues...

We're nearing the end of our pre-production work on our new television pilot. In just a few short hours our cameras are going to roll on our outrageous new set...

Unfortunately we still have a ton of work left to do.

I'm convinced that no matter how much prep work I do or how early I begin the planning process, I'm always going to feel the panic when show time rolls around.

It doesn't help that I'm a control freak. It's painful for me to ask someone else for help...

It's nothing personal, I just know they won't complete the task the way I prefer it.

So that leaves me with twenty four hours in the day and forty hours worth of work!

Thankfully this project brings pure joy to my life.

I have faith that the signs will be picked up, the contracts will get signed, the costumes will be finalized and everything will fall into place!

If not, I guess the show will go on!

The show ALWAYS goes on! I'm pretty sure that's my number one reason to keep moving forward! That and I really want to see this show picked up on TV!

Technologically F'd Up!

Nothing makes me rage more than when something doesn't work properly!

The more expensive the item, the more pissed I get...

Take my Mac laptop for example. Here is a two thousand dollar piece of machinery that I've taken excellent care of. I don't over use it. I only save essential items on the hard drive, everything else is stored on external hard drives. I don't accept cookies or go to questionable websites that may cause damage. I DON'T store internet porn on it...

...and still the damn thing just decides to shut off on me!

I can be in the middle of writing and email or even this blog, and the screen will go black for no reason. Of course when I take it to the Apple store, they can find nothing wrong.

But it doesn't stop there-

Today, I signed on to post this blog, and noticed that my layout is jacked up! Why? No reason.

Everything is set up correctly. The html code looks good and I've reset all of the sidebar activity, and still my blog layout is wrong!

Then there's Facebook- OH GOD! Don't even get me started... Every day there's a new issue with Facebook. Friends disappearing. Post not posting. Pictures that just tag themselves randomly...

It seems like the more time, energy and money you spend on technology, the less you get in return. Case in point:

My laptop has shut down three times during the composition of this blog entry! I'm in full rage mode! It's all I can do not to take this piece of shit computer and throw it from my fourth floor office window!

I can tell today is going to be a challenge! But I'm going to fight like hell not to let a stupid little machine get the best of me!

Production Week Begins

The sets have been built and painted. The script has been finalized. The cast rehearsed. The contracts... well we're still waiting on a few of those to come back signed... But you know what the say... The show WILL go on!
Today we had our wardrobe fittings for the big musical theme song that will open every show! I still don't want to give too much away about the specific details of our outrageously fabulous new television show, but here's a sneak peak of our opening costumes!

...Okay, now back to work! We've still got a lot to do this week. Of course I will continue to share my adventures throughout the week.

Shameless Self-Promotion... (For My Production Company)

Occasionally in the entertainment industry it becomes necessary to do a little self promoting...
Okay, who am I kidding? We all know this industry is ALL about self worship! Why else would people subject themselves to the daily, hourly even minutely abuse that we encounter if it didn't result in seeing our face on a gigantic screen, billboard or poster somewhere...
I'm completely aware of how needy this plea sounds, however, I'm not above dropping to my hands and knees in the name of promoting something I believe in! So here goes...
If you've had a chance to see any of the parodies that I've created with my producing partner and our company A Group Production, then you know we love to have fun! We're currently working on a hilarious (if I do say so myself) new television pilot that is going to take our parodies to new heights.
We're so grateful for the fans that are already following us on Twitter and Facebook- but we're hoping that if you love our parodies and are excited for our new TV series, that you'll become a fan of our production company on Facebook!
It's simple and free to do!
Just click this link to our A Group Production Facebook page, and click the "Like" button! If you're really adventurous, you can follow us on Twitter too!
Every new fan we gain, is a step toward getting our show off the ground and onto a screen in your living room!
Thanks for the love!

Sunday Nights with HBO!

I love Sunday nights and HBO.
True Blood.
Entourage.
Curb Your Enthusiasm.
I'm turned on, grossed out and doubled over in pain from laugh so hard.
In that order!

Rocking On The Sunset Strip!

The Sunset Strip in Los Angeles IS rock music. Legends of the music industry have all paid their dues along the half mile strip of West Hollywood along Sunset Boulevard. Clubs like the Whiskey, The Viper Room and The Roxy are rock musics playground...

But today was third annual Sunset Strip Music Festival. I was lucky enough to land a job working in the production department, and even luckier to finish my job just in time to catch Bush, Matt and Kim, Public Enemy and Motely Crue!

Plus, I got to chill in the VIP lounge where I had the pleasure of running into Gene Simmons.

It was a long day of rock! I worked hard all morning into the afternoon, and played hard in the evening.

I'd love to write a detailed play by play of the cool events that happened today...

However, I think pictures speak louder than words... And I need to crash!

So here are some pictures that I took throughout the day!

A Cool Night Out With Brookie!

I had the coolest adventure with my amazing friend Brookie last night...
Brooke is that friend that EVERYONE wants to know- She is a beautiful woman on the inside and out. Witty, intelligent and creative all wrapped up in a cool, chill, bohemian vibe. Her energy is magnetic. Her knowledge of music and art is eclectic and extensive. She can hang with an A-List celebrity or kick it with someone she's just met, and either person feels special.
I love having her in my life!
Last night Brooke invited me to join her at an art opening for an artist named Juan Carlos Munoz. He is known for his brass sculpture work, however I'm not sure if it was because I was with Brookie, or feeling the cool beach breeze in Venice, or just because it's been a while since I've been so inspired visually but I wanted to dive into this magnificent floor to ceiling painting that was a whirling sea of bright fiery colors.

(The untitled painting above is the one I reference by Juan Carlos Munoz.)

The night was perfect. Brooke has a brilliant eye for all things stunning. Which is why I'm pleased to share a link to a benefit that is very near to Brooke's heart-

Art Mere / Art Pere.

She works year round to collect the best art from the most innovative artists for a silent auction and live performance benefiting LiveStrong.

Please check it out!

Let The Production Begin!

Production on our new pilot is gaining speed! We spent the day painting sets, hanging curtains and finalizing the graphic on our logos!

I'm so excited to shoot this project! I can't wait until it's wrapped and we begin the editing process.

It's been tough not sharing the exact details of what we're up to, but it's a necessary precaution...

Production week starts Monday with; costume fittings, voice over recordings, rehearsals for the opening theme, finalizing the signs for our set, lighting tests, green screen test... The list goes on and on!
But in just one short week- a years worth of writing sessions, rehearsals, meetings, preproduction and financial investments will culminate when we shoot our very own pilot, on our brand new, outrageously fabulous, custom set!

CRAZYNUTBALLSCUCKOO!

Isn't it strange when you have a relationship with a person who is impossible to like?

It seems no matter how hard you try to connect with them or understand their point of view, you just feel like shaking them from side to side while screaming at the top of your lungs:

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DO YOU MAKE EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED FOR EVERYONE! NO ONE EVEN LIKES YOU, BUT WE CONTINUE TO TRY TO GET ALONG WITH YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW DEEP DOWN YOU CANNOT BE THIS IMPOSSIBLE!"

Until you realize that there are just some people who don't "get it" ...Life. What's worse is that they probably never will! No matter how hard you try to engage, disengage, react or not react, kill them with kindness or smother them with tough love, they remain utterly COMPLICATED.

There are very few people on this planet that I've interacted with that cause this reaction in me.

Obviously the easy choice is to break all ties- however it becomes harder to do so if you didn't realize the person was CRAZYNUTBALLSCUCKOO until you were already invested in the project or relationship...

I'm not a difficult person. I enjoy everyday of my life. I smile. I have a kick ass time. I work hard to make solid connections with people. I do my best to be a good person on a daily basis...

So it pisses me off when I'm forced to deal with someone who hasn't figured out their issues in life- and make their problems my problems!

I've decided that when dealing with these people from this point forward, whenever the conversation starts to go south (with the most serious face I can muster up) I'm going to start speaking to them in tongues!

Like my grandma always says, "The best way to communicate with people is in the language they understand."

I'm fighting crazy with crazy!

Walk This Way...

Occasionally an opportunity comes along when I get to take a break from the hustle of developing and producing new projects with my company so that I can work on a cool project for someone else...

A few months back I was asked to choreograph a music video for the Cartoon Network. The video is a remake of the amazing Steven Tyler and Run DMC video "Walk This Way."

The new video features the break out star Lil P-Nut and an amazing group of 10 year old musicians Haunted by Hereos!

The video is now playing on the Cartoon Network, and I'm excited to share it here too!

Here is Walk This Way!

Plugged In!

Wow. I give those high school cheerleaders a lot more credit...

Being popular and connected takes a lot of work!
I just spent the past week making sure that I was signed up, cross-linked and ready to go on every social media platform out there.
You want to tag me on Facebook? No problem!
Care to know the latest and greatest place's I'm eating... Yelp is going to tell you.

Want to hear the most random funny thoughts- Twitter's where I'm at.
Interested in cool artistic photo's of my friends and pets doing hilarious things?

Instagram is the place.
Want to see more pictures? ...check out Flicker for my favorite moments past and present captured on film!
Need to contact me about your next great project and want to keep it professional?

Never fear! I'm Linkedin too!
You're in my neighborhood and want to join me for a drink- check out my Foursquare.
If you can't get enough of my daily rants, thoughts, essay's and writings here on Blogger, I've started sharing with the edgier crowed on Tumblr. too...
If all this is great but you're dying to see a parody of me in drag as a reality TV star... then YouTube is the place to be.
With all this connectivity I'm curious to see if I've gained any Klout?
I might not be as hot as Ashton Kutcher... But at least I can be as "plugged in" as him!

Caffeinated and Creative... I'm Addicted To Starbucks!

My addiction to coffee came early on... My addiction to Starbucks came a little bit later in life. But when I discovered the intoxicating atmosphere with the creative energy, the strong aroma and the brilliant scene studies, I was hooked.
I was at the peak of my addiction while living in New York. I would spend up to five hours a day or more reading, writing, socializing and daydreaming... Not to mention, I spent about $350.00 a month on specialty coffee drinks!
After moving back to Los Angeles I decided to step away from the Starbucks dependency. It wasn't that hard to do, because unlike New York, in Los Angeles you actually enjoy spending time in your home.
But here's the catch:
In order for me to be creative, I have to leave my safe environment. It becomes much too easy to get distracted at home. Between my puppies, the television or the three hundred other projects I "NEED" to accomplish, I'm completely unable to focus.
So here I am, back at my cozy little "office" with a fantastic view...
The creativity comes almost instantly! ...Okay, well maybe not that fast. But as soon as I order my iced grande coffee in a venti cup with extra ice and I stalk the European couple getting ready to get up from my favorite table, I started to feel a ping of inspiration. By the time I take my first sip and get my Mac fired up I'm good to go!
In less than two hours I've cranked out a new outline for the pilot I'm producing. Finalized the release forms I need to send out. Responded to six emails. Re-posted some funny videos on Facebook. Tweeted twice and I wrote this blog entry!
Who says addictions are bad? Aside from my leg that won't stop moving up and down, my clothes that reek of burnt coffee and my bursting bladder... I think I'm doing great!

Flashback!

I had the most amazing flashback to my childhood today...
Our production company is in pre-production for an exciting new project that we've been developing for the past year. It is by far our most ambitious project to date! In addition to having a spectacular group of writer / actors on board, we've enlisted an awesome designer to help oversee everything from set design to costumes!
Of course my "Type A" personality still needs to have a hand in every project, so today my producing partner and I started assembling the sets!
Although I don't want to give away too much about our pilot, I will say that it is going to be innovative, fresh and fabulous!
The fact that we have three separate sets is a cool perk.
Anyway, I found myself standing in the center of one of the sets under construction and I was flooded with ecstasy.
Almost instantly, I was back in my parents garage in the Torrance, CA.
It was like 1990 all over again-
Me, hanging all of my moms nicest sheets in the garage. Trying to makeshift that perfect set to shoot whatever goofy script my cousins and I wrote at the time. I "borrowed" my dads camcorder and found some crappy flood lights and we were ready for ACTION!
It's wild. Twenty years have passed and I'm still building sets, writing scripts and performing in front of a camera.
I was pleasantly reminded that the passion inside is exactly the same!
It felt like I was in heaven all those years ago in my garage "set" made of sheets, and today was just as magical as it was all those years ago.
I'm still living my childhood dream, and I feel so blessed that I'm just as happy now as I was then.

Saturday Morning Hike

Roll out of bed.
Throw on workout clothes-
Force myself out the door;
It starts off slow.
Before I know it my thighs are burning,
Sweat rolling into my eyes,
Knees feel like I must be seventy years old;
It's been a while since my last hike!
Almost to the peak;
The view is beautiful!
Los Angeles-
I love this city!
Why don't I do this more often?

Answer The Damn Call!

I admit it, I hate when people don't answer their phone! I guess I just don't get it...

I'm the type of guy that understands the importance of communication in the 21st Century. Gone are the days of the pager, pay phone and service line...

I also accept that not everyone has a "Type A" personality, so it's not like I'm completely unrealistic. I'm willing to wait a few days for someone to return a business call.

Hell, I'll even forgive my dad when it takes him a week to get back to me...

But where I lose my shit, is when I have arrangements with someone, and they decided not to respond to your calls, text's and emails as a way of bailing on you!

Really? That's your out? To blame 21st technology?

"Oh I didn't hear your call..." "Oh I didn't see your text until just now..." "Oh you sent it to the wrong email address..."

REALLY? I'm pretty sure I CC'd it to all five of your email addresses!

I mean, have you met me?

Honestly, I'm not crazy. If plans change, just pick up the phone and tell me. If you don't want to talk, shoot me a text. If you don't want a text war, send me an email...

But for God's sake, be a bigger person and respond! It's not like I'm the crazy stalker that wants to go out for another bad date with you. I'm the guy you made plans with to meet up and "text me when you're here..."

I'm here... and you're not responding to my text!

RAGE!

Oh shit, I have to go... my phone is ringing and I've been waiting 17 minutes for this call!

Hangover!

Head

Aches

Never

Going

Overboard with

Vino again on an

Empty stomach!

Regretting last night...

Wacky Wednesday

Did your elementary school have those crazy themed days like mine did growing up?

Flip-flop Friday, where everyone wore flip-flops.

Or

Tank top Tuesday, where everyone wore a tank top?

Well today, I've decided to give myself a theme: Wacky Wednesday!

Why Wacky Wednesday you ask?

Simple!

I've been busy working all summer long. Sure, for the most part my work has been creative and inspired. Still, I feel like I haven't given myself an opportunity to be free!

So today I'm taking my production meetings, running my errands and staying on target... but I'm going to do so in a wacky, tacky costume! Just to remind myself that life is short, and though work is important- So is living.

I guess my definition of "living" is dressing like an asshole in public!

Thank you to Joseph Arnold Elementary school in Torrance, CA for inspiring me to act like a dork for the rest of my life.

Michelle Bachmann Is Smarterer Than She Looks...

I'll be the first to admit I know very little about potential Republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann.

From what I've seen of her, she looks dangerously similar to a fellow female conservative who ran for V.P. in the last election... It sounds like she's just as smart too!

Here's a few things that help her stand out in a crowd:

On The Granite State:

"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love of liberty...You're the state where the shot heard round the world in Lexington and Concord."

~ March 12, 2011 speech to the Republican Liberty Caucus of New Hampshire.Note: The 1776 Battles of Lexington and Concord took place in Massachusetts.

Source: RealClearPolitics

On The First Black RNC Chairman:

"Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man!"

~ 2009 Conservative Political Action Conference

Source: The Minnesota Independent

On Climate Change:

"The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It's all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.""There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful. It is part of Earth’s life cycle...And yet we’re being told that we have to reduce this natural substance and reduce the American standard of living to create an arbitrary reduction in something that is naturally occurring in the earth."

~ March 15, 2008 speech at the Sherburne County Republican Nominating Convention.

Source: West Sherburne Tribune, Wonk Room

But by far my favorite quote was when she tried to reach out to all of her potential Jewish followers...

Brookie, if you could please recap for us:

Home Sweet Home!

It's not that I don't enjoy traveling,

Clearly I've made a career of it!

I spent the better part of my summer in cities across the country,

Working, site-seeing and catching up with friends.

I just got back from a week in New York City-

Where I worked really hard,

And partied harder!

The past three months were jam-packed;

Too many wild adventures and sleepless nights.

Though I had an amazing time...

I've never been more grateful to be home with my family, in my own bed!

I slept better last night than I have in months!

Proving, it's awesome to retreat...

But it's heavenly to return!

Culture Brunch and Conversation with Matthew and Mari Beth

I spent the better part of every Sunday in my twenties in New York City with my friends Matthew and Mari Beth.
Matthew and Mari Beth are those close friends you have the look after you and make sure you're enjoying the finer things in life.

They always had the scoop on the hottest new eatery, best new exhibit at a museum, coolest new boutique or most delicious cup of coffee!
I'm so grateful to have them in my life.

More than ten years have passed, and they remain my go to source for inspiration, art and support.
Our lives and careers have blossomed, but our brunch conversation has stayed the same-
We cover everything from love, gossip, politics, art and Tom Cruise's (homo)sexuality...
I'm so happy that no matter what magnificent events have transpired, my friends remain true!
...and they're still taking me to the most lavish restaurants in New York City!

Weekends In NYC

I love weekends in New York City.
Coffee first thing in the morning.
A walk around the Upper West Side-
Lunch with friends.
Window shopping on 5th Avenue.
Second coffee of the day, most likely at a trendy new spot in SoHo.
Back to the apartment to freshen up...
Third coffee of the day before grabbing a cab to head to mid-town for an early dinner.
Arrive at the theatre to catch a show.
Night cap and warm cookies and vanilla ice cream at Joe Allen's.
Stumble to the subway and wait too long for a train.
Back to the apartment to crash...
Wake up and do the whole thing again tomorrow!
Weekends- definitely the best part of NYC!

Six Word Essay on New York City

Love the creativity, loath the humidity!

Dance Life.

I grew up in a dance studio.
I spent five hours a day in a mirror working towards perfection.
When the time came, I left home and followed my passion.
I danced from stage to stage around the world.
Eventually I leaped to New York City.
I discovered a new studio to call home.
A new stage where I could soar.
When I left the city, I left a piece of my heart behind.
I never looked back.
Now, ten years later and back in New York the familiarity is instantaneous.
The smell of sweat and soul.
The rhythm of the music reminding me how to breath,
The pulse in my entire body reminding me I'm alive!
Surrounded by a new generation of dreamers.
The dancer in us will never die.

Start Spreading The News...

I landed in New York today!
It's as if no time has passed since I lived here.
It's strange how some things never change.
The energy is exactly how I remember it-
Alive. Anxious. Fast paced. Stress-filled.
The smell in August is the same too!
Ripe. Hot. Obnoxious, but distinctively New York trash.
It's always exciting to be back as a visitor. There's something magical about visiting a place you used to live. The familiarity is comforting. The beauty of experience all of your favorite memories, and the luxury of knowing that you get to leave before the reality comes crashing down...
New York is most definitely the place to be while you are fearless and ready to conquer the world.
I'm just happy to reconnect with old friends. Eat at my favorite restaurants. Chill at my favorite Starbucks. Drink margaritas with my best friend. Work with creative artists. And sit for hours at my secret hiding spot in Central Park. While I lived here, it was the one place I could go to clear my head, write in my journal and release the stress that living in the city can wage on you.
But today, there's no stress! I'm here for five days of creativity, madness and mayhem!
First stop Arriba Arriba for MANY margaritas!

Travel Days Suck!

No matter how you pack and stow it, travel days suck!
Waking up three hours early to catch a shuttle.
When travel as much as I do, you can't expect your friends or loved ones to take you back and forth on airport runs and with gas prices at an all time high a car service cost more than most airline tickets!
The shuttle arrives earlier than necessary and packed with sweaty tourists that shower every four weeks...
You finally get to the airport and all of the self-check kiosks are "out of order" so you get to wait in a line a mile long.
Once you get your boarding pass you're off to wait in the massive security line-
Just in time for a code Bravo. Which is such a joke. I mean really? Leave Bravo for "The Housewives!"
Just out of security in time to get to your gate (forget about the Starbucks you were hoping to enjoy!)
Then they change your gate!
You reach the new gate to find out your flight is delayed!!!
Which means your already long travel day, just turned into day(s).
It's inevitable that you're going to miss your connecting flight.
Then of course you get to your assigned seat, only to find that the person you're sitting next to is begging youth trade seats so they can sit with their girlfriend.
Sorry, I can't sit in a middle seat for 5 hours!
Now I'm the asshole?
Uhg! I hate travel days.
But I sure love visiting New York!

Manic on Monday!

Another Monday.
Another month.
Summer is rapidly swimming by!
Working hard to achieve new heights.
I need to enjoying the down time too!

Stung,

I got stung by a bee today at the beach.
I could not believe such a little creature could cause so much pain.
It was so intense I could feel my heartbeat pulsing at the sight of the sting.
It got me thinking... A tiny little insect can cause so much discomfort, bruising and (in some cases) death!
Imagine the impact that one negative "friend" could have in your life.
Poison hurts, no matter what dosage or form it comes in!

No Deal!

In life, sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose!
I can't say more than that right now, but I will say that I did not make a deal...
I may not be lucky when it comes to winning cars, but I've sure been lucky in life!
If you ask me, that's the best deal there is!

Holding Pattern.

Too much on my mind,
Trying to refocus and relax.
So many goals to accomplish,
I'm tired of waiting on other people to finish their obligations.
Confirming yet again that if you want something done-
It's faster to do it yourself...
Oh well, it's Friday!
I'm going to enjoy the weekend!

Life Is Short!

Life is short!
Tell someone you love how you feel!
To all of your haters, just don't engage.
Eventually they'll spread their hate elsewhere!

I strive everyday to remain a positive support to those I love.
Of course we all have setbacks in our growth and evolution as humans, but the people that are in your world should be there during the good times and the bad.

I never take losing a friend lightly.
My grandma always reminds me,
"Make new friends, but keep the old. New ones are silver, but old ones are gold."

Nevertheless, there are always those people who come into your life when you need them, and leave you when the work gets too tough. I have to make my peace with that.
Not everyone has the strength to communicate without attacking. Not everyone can articulate their feelings in a supportive manner-
I have to release those people, no matter how painful.
I don't have room for anyone in my life that is only around when they need to talk.
I'm looking for someone who is equally invested in listening.
Balance is the key to life, AND friendship.

Good By Old Friend... I Wish You The Best.

Wiped.
Erased.
Deleted.
De-friended.
Un-followed.
Just like that, a friendship ends.
I too have felt the strains on our friendship over the past several months.
I tolerated a great deal. I overlooked the evil truth.
Some people are unwilling to take ownership of their part in a relationship.

I no longer have the time or energy to dance in circles with people who don't respect me enough to communicate in an adult manner. I cannot allow people to scream at me, curse at me and accuse me of things that they are guilty of themselves. I should have imagined that this day would come. I should have known based on the explosive situations I've witnessed between mutual friends.

Nevertheless, I struggled to walk away from the bond that I felt.
In the end, the loyalty is not with me. It is exactly where it's always been- on a selfish adult, incapable of change. A person full of self-hate, rage and the inability to be honest with himself.

In the end, his lack of respect for the eight years of friendship we experienced was made clear when he removed me from all forms of social media. As if we we're sixteen year old girls in love. Which is really funny, because it just occurred to me, maybe that's exactly what he is.
Either way, I stayed true to him and our friendship. I was always honest, even when it was inconvenient for me.
I don't care that we are no longer friends. I'm not upset that he removed me from Facebook or Twitter. I'm just grateful that the chaos and crazy are no longer my problem or concern.

I do hope that he has one person in his life that will tell him the truth. Someone that will be there for him when it really counts. Unfortunately, he is skillful at removing anyone that could actually help him grow as a person or artist. It's just easier for him to destroy the things he'd rather not face.
At least now I no longer have a front row ticket to his self destruction.
Good luck old friend. I honestly wish the best for you.

Share The Love!

Today I received an amazing Facebook message from an old friend that I grew up with.
It's not the first time that someone has shared a nice compliment or words of encouragement on behalf of the work that I strive to create.
However, I think it was the most unexpected and gracious to date.
I spend the better part of my day working to find new ways to create, inspire and add a positive contribution to society. Usually the reward I get from that alone is enough to continue to wake up each day and focus on forward action.
Still, if feels wonderful to be validated, especially in the industry I'm a part of.
I maintain that while my dream and passion was sparked at a young age with the hopes of being a famous movie star, that idea is not what motivated me to stay in the game for the past fifteen years.
About three years into my professional career, I realized that this lifestyle is tough! One minute you're making a ton of money and feel like a superstar, and then next minute you're praying you qualify for unemployment. Once I understood the truth about this business, and accepted that it is a BUSINESS, I was able to set in action a new thought process.
I understood that if I was going to continue to fight to "make it" as a performer, I would have to do so with the purpose of growing as artist.
It has been my mission ever since to create work that makes people laugh, cry, react, get involved, grow as a person and think from a new perspective.
I'm thankful to hear from a friend who knew me when I was still a kid dreaming of being a famous movie star.
Obviously, that dream has not come true yet. But I am damn proud of the fact that I have continued to stay true to my purpose on this earth.
Moreover, I'm so humbled that I continue to inspire my original "fans" that I grew up with. If I can bring a smile to one person a day, I'm delighted with the job I'm doing.

Insecure People

There are plenty of people on this earth that will fight very hard to extinguish your fire.
It's important to remember your worth.
Recognize that those people see something in you that terrifies them-
They see a talented, strong, intelligent person.
A person who is unafraid to stand up for their beliefs and remain committed to their convictions.
They see in you, individuality.
You cannot be swayed.
They cannot tame you.
They feel powerless.
Shine on!
Never compromise who you are to make someone else feel less threatened.
Their insecurity is not your problem.

Sunday The Way I Love It...

There's nothing better than a beautiful Sunday in Los Angeles. Especially after being out of town for the past week working.
I slept in this morning, and woke up to my beautiful puppies licking my face.
Begrudgingly rolled out of bed and went to yoga. After yoga, I felt like I could conquer the world.
I walked to Starbucks and enjoyed a venti iced green tea.
Then it was time to meet up with friends and go on an adventure to Thai Town!
We bought an array of Thai seasonings, fresh exotic vegetables and sweet treats.
After our fun trip to a country within our city, we made our way back to the house to prepare our decadent Thai dinner.
We shoved our faces with more green curry, pad thai and rice than any human should consume in one meal, and I enjoyed every minute of it!
After dinner, I made my way home to cuddle on the couch and watch True Blood and The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Life can get complicated, over-stressed and manic- I'm so grateful for beautiful Sundays like today.

Done With Crazy.

It's official, I'm done with crazy people.
This week I endured the craziness for the last time, at least by choice.
Let's be honest, we all suffer from a little bit of the crazy, some just take it to epic proportions.
So I'm making a vow to myself not to engage with people who think they can do or say whatever they want without facing consequences.
No matter how great the job sounds. No matter how much the job pays. No matter how many time the "friend" promises they've changed.
The only thing that separates me from the crazy people in my life, is my ability to walk away from their drama and move on with my life.
Goodbye crazy!

Judged

I spent the day getting paid to judge people,
And spent the night getting judged by the people who pay me.
So in a strange way, I think I've come full circle.
Either way, I'm proud that I stayed true to me.
I'm secure in my fabulous life, the hater is not.

Jaded...

J ust
A nother
D ay
E nduring
D rama

Addicted to Chips!

Sitting in a hotel room in Lake Tahoe after a full day of dance,
Five bags of chips opened on the bed.
I tried to eat just one-
That doesn't work does it?
I cannot resist the Kettle brand Spicy Thai potato chips!
But don't worry, I've had handfuls of the BBQ chips too.
My favorite was the 7 layer chip sandwich I just made: Corn chip, salsa, Spicy Thai, ranch dip, BBQ, bean dip and another Spicy Thai!
I'm addicted to chips!
My ass is not.

Life On The Road...

One of the many challenges of working in the entertainment industry is the travel factor.
As an artist, you have to go where the work is... Sometimes you get to work in the city you live, but most of the time you're on an airplane flying to some random location for various amounts of time.
After awhile you get used to living out of a bag. Missing your friends and loved ones. Eating crappy fast food or chain food and NOT working out.
But the toughest part is leaving my puppies!
They're so cute and innocent. They hate seeing the bags packed. Even if I go out of my way to pack at the last minute and hide the bags in the closet, they pick up on the energy...
It breaks my heart! Of course they have no way of knowing that I have to leave town for work, nor do they process the amount of time I'll be gone. Nevertheless, their little puppy feelings get soar when I leave. Lily gets tears in her eyes, and Ginger just mopes around for a few days.
The upside, returning from a week out of town! I get pounced, licked and loved for a soiled thirty minutes each! I guess if you have to leave, it's rewarding to return to such an amazing greeting!
Sure beats a welcome home sign!

Golden!

Spent the day drinking delicious beers at the Craft Beer Garden on the Sunset Strip.
Walked home with a nice little beer buzz going on...
Now, I'm enjoying the view from my balcony while watching reruns of
The Golden Girls!
Yep! It's like that..
Definitely a Golden day!

Friday in LA...

On set for a cameo in a music video at 10 AM.
Make-up by 11 AM.
Wrapped on shooting at 12:30 PM.
Yoga until 3:00 PM.
Shave, shower and dressed by 5:00 PM.
Limo arrives at 6:00 PM.
Off to the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion to watch ABT by 7:30 PM.
Dinner and drinks with some of the dancers around 10:30 PM.
Life in LA is never boring!

Six Word Essay on My Adventure Last Night...

Too much Jack Daniel's is bad!

Deep Breaths...

I was a very emotional child. When I was happy I was bouncing off the walls making everyone around me laugh. When I was sad, I was on the floor in tears, rolling around, throwing my head back and forth full of passion. Needless to say, my future as a performer was destine!
The emotion that I had the least control over was my RAGE. I can still hear my dad saying, "Deep breaths Matthewson..." Mocking the ever popular movie of the time, The Karate Kid. My dad thought he was being funny, but all it would do is send me into a deeper state of RRRRRAAAAAGGGGEEEE!
Nevertheless, his intentions were good. He wanted me to practice gaining control of my breath. Taking a minute to step away from the action causing the rage, and breathing in and releasing it! My dad was a Yogi twenty years before yoga was a way of life for mainstream America.
Now, as an adult, I'm happy to report that I have my emotions a bit more in check. I still experience the feelings that could send me in a downward spiral of mass destruction, however now- I practice the breath!
Today I woke up in a mediocre mood. I wanted to accomplish too much, too fast. And when it blew up in my face, all I could do is sit in anger.
Not wanting to waste a perfectly good day off, I decided to go to yoga. It was tough at first to release the nasty energy that was forcing itself into my heart, thankfully the yogi played some kick ass music, and once I focused on the breath, my fears and anger melted away.
Wanting to stay in this somewhat meditative state, even after my yoga practice ended and life's bitchy little digs were still waiting for me at the door, I decided to go right back into my breath.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep Breath in. Deep breath out.
When I opened my eyes, I was calm again. Too bad the costumers in the Trader Joe's produce aisle were all raging because I was blocking the fresh spinach.
Oh well, I guess some people just aren't in tune with their inner peace.

I LOVE Corn Chips!

Salty and delicious they never let me down.
Dunking them in salsa, you will never see me frown.
Pile up the cheese on top and then you've hit the spot!
Follow up with delicious seasoned beef, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce, black beans and who cares about rhyming anymore...
You've got a plate full of nachos and you're ready to devour them!
I love corn chips!
All that's missing now is a magical margarita on the rocks with salt.
Lunchtime rocks!

Never Enough!

Do you ever feel like you wake up and by the time you turn around the day is over?
There is never enough time to get everything done.
Especially when you have a list like mine...
I admit, I have been able to release the majority of the fear I create in my life. But for some strange reason, I just cannot let myself relax.
I now realize my greatest fear is rest. I can achieve a brief moment while in yoga, where my mind is still and I don't think about the ten million ideas, thoughts, lists and goals...
But I've never really been able to accept a breath in my daily outlook. I guess I'm terrified that if I stop, I might not be able to start again.
So there it is- I've finally spelled it out.
Now, what can I do to change the situation? I refuse to let my life pass me by, always wanting more! There has to be balance. So I've decided to give myself a mid-year resolution!
BALANCE.
How I'll attempt to reach it, I have no idea.
I'll put that on my list of things to figure out tomorrow!

Yoga ASAP!

Last week I spent over thirty hours working in a theatre in Las Vegas while dealing with nasty emails, text messages and hateful phone exchanges from the crazy producer in Los Angeles that I USED to direct and choreograph shows for.
Then I got back to Los Angeles and had to deal with a delusional neighbor who requested that I stop setting my alarm clock because it was waking him up in the morning.
Really? My alarm clock is waking you up in the morning...
Hey douchebag, do you remember that we live in the hills above the SUNSET STRIP? You mean to tell me that you're actually able to sleep through the orchestra of sounds that we hear 24/7 including; trash trucks, gardeners with leaf blowers, dogs barking, fire trucks, buses, police chases, helicopters and rock bands...
But you can't sleep through my 8:00 am alarm? Wow!
Why don't you get your lame ass out of this city and find yourself a nice home on the farm?
After the week that I had, my only option was to get myself to yoga ASAP.
It's amazing how quickly big dramas turn into little issues when we allow our mind to rest, our heart to smile and our soul to breath.

Are You Out Of Your Mind?

I love when people insult me.
Tell me to "Fuck Off!"
Threaten me.
Call me an asshole.
Accuse me of taking advantage of our "friendship."
And then ask me to recommend a colleague as my replacement.
Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do...
Submit someone else to your erratic behavior.
Not a chance!

American Dream

Last week I was shooting a parody of True Blood.
Yesterday I was partying alongside the stars of True Blood at a holiday pool party.
Today I'm flying to Las Vegas to judge a talent competition.
Perspective.
I got a phone call from my cousin Brad's daughter Avianna. She told me that she saw me on TV! I could tell by her voice how excited she was. All she knows is that I'm her cousin who lives in LA and she saw me on television...
I'm famous!
It was adorable- it made my day.
My life has been made up of a series of surreal moments.
Every day has been a new adventure.
I get to do what I love.
I follow my heart.
I live my passion.
That, is the American dream.
I'm grateful I live in a country where I am free to live it!

The Independence Day weekend is here! Time for a little fun, food and drink in the sun.

But before you grab your sunscreen and head out to the beach, lake or water source near you, to celebrate Team America...

Over at A Group Production, we just cannot get enough of the outrageous personalities on Bravo TV, so we decided to put together a little parody of our own poking fun at the Summer by Bravo campaign they're airing right now.

Hope you enjoy it!

Happy Fourth of July friends! Celebrate your independence safe.

July!

Just can't wait to eat hot dogs and potato salad.
Utter bliss by the pool.
Long days and beautiful summer nights drinking with friends.
You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to a vacation!

Check List.

I always feel so much better when I give myself goals.
Yoga- Check.
Laundry- Check.
Give my dogs a haircut- Check.
Get a hair cut- Check.
Finish two writing projects- Check.
Clean the house- Check.
Connect with social media to maintain online presence- Check.
It's lame I know, but I just get such piece of mind when I can look down and see where my day went.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I need a drink!

Creativity In Full Force...

Nonstop thoughts racing in my head.

Creative energy spinning out of control.

Ideas galore.

Now, where to find the time and money.

Both are out there within my grasp-

The momentum is building.

Now, how to utilize it in the right way?

Still climbing up the path.

The top is nowhere in sight.

I know it's up there,

My head is still in the clouds.

Looking forward to the day the path clears.

Just in time to realize it's time to start on a new adventure.

Happiness comes to me most when I am focused on the beautiful journey I've had so far.

True Blood Season 4

Waiting sucks! But thanks to A Group Production, the wait is over!
I'm pleased to present True Blood The Parody - Fairy Land:

WE always have a blast making parodies of our favorite television shows and movies. But I must admit, making this one was off the charts! Our cast including Jeff Payton, James Snyder and Beckie King rocked it out! However, the genius Amy Claire stole the show as Sookie!
Hope you enjoy!

What You Risk, Reveals What you Value...

People will suck you dry if you let them.
I'm not even talking about vampires...
Although we did just wrap on our latest project, True Blood The Parody! I will be posting it here soon.
While that rocks, one of my contract jobs does not.
I am done with shady business owners who think that they can do whatever they want without consequences.
For too long I've held my tongue and worried that I would ruin my reputation if I spoke out against an injustice in
the work place...
Now I realize the only thing hurting my reputation, is indifference.
Everyone has a voice. Some people choose not to use theirs.
I am not that person.
The bull$hit ends tomorrow!

Total Slacker!

I have been a total slacker!
I'm guilty of giving in to the summer temptations.
Sleeping in that extra hour. Eating that extra bowl of chips and salsa. Drinking that extra margarita. Skipping the extra sets in my workout routine. Spending less time working on my creative projects-
And now it's starting to catch up on me!
It's strange how quickly, gluttonous behavior turns into self hate...
I loath feeling out of shape.
I despise feeling uncreative.
I rage when feeling unproductive!
But I can't stand feeling helpless and hopeless either-
So enough of the complaining.
Time to refocus. I still have plenty of summertime fun ahead.
There are twenty-four hours in a day.
Definitely enough time to get shit done, stay creative and chug a lite beer!
B-A-L-A-N-C-E

Under Construction...

I guess I just have to accept that my life will always be like this.
I am a true work in progress.
Similar to the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles, I doubt that I will reach completion before my time on earth is up!
Every time I hit a pothole, I'm reminded that there will always be a need for resurfacing.
There are those days when everything clicks and falls right into place.
Then there are those days when I have to force myself into releasing my insecurities, and hope for the best.
I see the humor in an actor reminding himself to pretend to have a good day, even when everything feels overwhelming.
But the fact is, life can be as easy or as difficult as we make it- based on the choices we make.
When I choose to stay calm, focused and confident wonderful things happen.
It's easy to be happy living a full and balanced life when I'm thinking clearly-
Now if I could pay more attention to the road signs along my freeway of life.
Stop, when I see stop. Go, when I see go. Release, when I see release. Trust, when I see trust.
And remain clam when it's been a while since the last sign...
The destination is always clear when you keep the faith.

Six Word Essay on Pride

Life is short- live OUT loud!

Just Another Manic Monday...

It's only Monday, and I can already tell that it's going to be an overwhelming week...
I just returned to Los Angeles after a visit home to spend time with my family.
The trip was a bittersweet reunion for me.
I was thrilled that my sister went out of her way to make sure I got to spend a lot of quality time with my little baby niece. The bond that I have with my sister is stronger than ever. Definitely sweet!
The bitter part came in several doses. All of which are too difficult to discuss right now.
So for now, I'm giving my best effort to focus on the goodness in my life, and remind myself that Mondays can be tough sometimes. Especially after an already emotional vacation with family!

What's All The Gossip About?!?

What's more hilarious than a Star Jones sex tape?
A Group Production's latest parody!
This is by far my favorite video that we've created to date!
We even wrote, produced and performed two original songs for this one!
I hope you'll all enjoy:
Gossip Girl The Parody!

The Art of Balance

June is in the air-
Six months into 2011, the time is dancing by.
So far I'm pleased with the progress I've had.
It's always a challenge to live each day with the same energy, enthusiasm and passion.
I'm grateful for the days that everything clicks.
One of my largest goals over the past year and a half, has been to live everyday to my greatest potential.
For the most part, I believe I've successfully accomplished that feat.
Tonight I'm heading back to Los Angeles, after a much needed visit with my family.
I know I'm still on track, because as painful as it is to leave my beautiful little niece and the rest of my family, I am eager to get back to work on my creative projects.
Hopefully, in the very near future, I will be able to visit my family a lot more often.
Until then, I'm thankful that I have reached a level of peace in my heart at the sacrifices I make in order to live up to my true potential.
Living a full life requires a blend of compromise and balance that I'm feeling much more confident about living!

I Hate Goodbyes!

Tonight I had to say goodbye to my little peanut Kellyn.
I never imagined the utter joy I'd get from holding my niece in my arms.
Her beautiful blue eyes, always cheerful disposition and contagious smile-
One look at her and my heart melts.
From the second she entered this world, she had me wrapped around her precious finger.
She knows it too!
I guess there are worse things in the world than smothering my niece with love, kisses and made up nursery rhymes...
Isn't that what Italian Godfathers are for?
Now, if only I could convince my sister to move to LA so that I could spoil her on a daily basis!

Vacation Please!

Vacations can be tricky,
On the one hand, the whole point of a vacation is to escape the day to day life-
To relax, unwind and turn your brain off.
Then there are those vacations where you travel to lush destinations, take in the sights, eat fabulous food and spend too much money shopping galore.
But the most challenging vacations for me are the trips home to be with family.
Of course I'm so happy to see my loved ones.
Still, there are layered emotions and constantly changing dynamics that turn my universe into a whirlwind.
I exhaust the majority of my time stressing out about spending the same amount of quality time with each of my relatives. The remaining time is focused on helping out with little projects.
Any down time is filled with me on my iPhone trying to stay connected to my life back in Los Angeles.
No matter how hard I try to relax and let go of the voice in my head telling me to do more,
I'm left feeling overwhelmed and longing for a vacation from my vacation...
Alas- the minute my trip is over and I return home, I find myself missing my family.

Number One Reason To Come Home

When I first moved away from home, I struggled from major withdrawal.
I was so attached to my family, and though I had my mind set on building my career, I just hated being so far away from them.
I couldn't wait for a holiday, graduation or wedding to have an excuse to return home.
As the years passed the trips home got more complicated- Naturally, I evolved into an independent individual. The family dynamic changes.
It's painful to see grandparents grow older.
Cousins begin having kids of their own.
Parents get remarried...
And everyone wants their way, but no one wants to compromise. It becomes a battle not to fight.
Then the moment comes-
You get a phone call from your sister, and you find out that you're going to be an Uncle!
Then the joyous day comes... I'm officially an uncle.
Not to mention, I was asked to be my beautiful niece's godfather!
Coming home becomes magically again!
Yes, it's still a challenge battling the urge not to argue with family, or the heartache of watching loved ones get older, but my little niece has become my number one reason to come home more often!
I'm mean how can I resist this:

Life Lessons 101

Nothing can live up to the memory you have from the original experience;
So rather than holding on to the past, I have to force myself to be present in this moment!

I Finally Get It...

I always thought I knew exactly what my purpose was on this earth.

I have faith in God that I was put here for a reason.  

I have faith in myself that I could take the passion, determination and talent I posses and

use it to impact the lives of others.

My mistake was in believing that the only way I could make a difference was once I had achieved my

highest goal.

What finally clicked today, (and I admit it was entirely because of Oprah's last show) was that I have had an impression on every person that I have ever interacted with- and they on me.

Until today, I believed that I was living a full life-

I gave myself permission to shine a long time ago and I honestly thought I had been doing just that ever since.  

But I have not.

There was still a piece of me holding back. 

I was waiting to be validated.  

But I was seeking it from the wrong places.

Fame, money and recognition is not validation.

It is fame, money and recognition.

Today it became clear.  My life has been filled with validation.

In every job I've been blessed with, every bond that I've made, every smile I've shared, every journey and wild adventure has been a validation of my life.

Today I will stop waiting for the perfect opportunity to make a difference, and I will work to make a difference in every opportunity.

A Weekend Induldged!

Woke up after a wild Friday night out-
Enjoyed a glass full of the hair of the dog...
Off to brunch!
Stuffed my face with delicious food prepared by amazing friends.
Four bottles of champagne, because one is not enough!
The rapture, the rapture... Nope, not yet.
Time for celebration!
The drinking continued until mid-day Sunday.
I guess that's why my pants won't button up.
Totally worth it!
The world didn't end, but my indulgence has to!

Gossip Girl Parody...

 A Group Production, just wrapped on our latest parody.

This time we decided to get wild and crazy like only New York's hottest, most outrageous and scandalicious socialites can get in our Gossip Girl Parody!

Coming very soon...

But for now, I'll leave you with a few steamy photos of the outlandish sexcapades that only Gossip Girl had the inside scoop on! 

Dan and Serena In Central Park

Chuck and Little Jenny Humphrey

Looks like the gang is back up to their dirty little tricks...

xoxo

On My Career...

I've finally wrapped my mind around the idea that this career that chose me,

this passion that I have- may take another ten years to fully blossom.

And I'm okay with that.

It's no longer about the fame, attention or the money-

I've dedicated most of my life to a dream that I've had since I was eight years old.

To pretend that I would be happy doing anything else is wasted energy.

I'm proud of the journey I've had so far.

So bring it on!

Bring on more auditions that don't lead to anything.

Bring on more opportunities that fall through.

Bring on that bank account that hovers around one hundred dollars.

I'm not afraid of the life I lead anymore-

I've embraced the amazing adventures I've had.

More important, I've learned how to maintain a balanced life when the ride comes to an end.

Plus, I'm really great at seeking out a new expedition.

I've invested a lifetime of hard work, passion and sacrifice-

The reward is that my childhood dream is blooming into a reality.

Life: Up and Down

Life really is like a roller coaster. One minute you're on the top of the world, and in less than thirty seconds your back on the ground, sitting with your heart in your throat.

It's amazing how fast your perception of life can change-

I've been in pure bliss for the past two weeks;

From the wonderful adventures with my friends who were in town from New York, and the quality time I've had with my friends in Los Angeles-

To the amazing opportunities I've had to choreograph and create on television. In addition to the success that our parodies are achieving on-line...

I've been riding a ten foot wave.

And in one phone call my body comes crashing down with the surf.

Without going into great detail, I received a troubling phone call yesterday regarding my sisters health.

My sister, Shiree was diagnosed with cancer about five years ago, and after several rounds of treatment, we were all so elated that she beat it! Having been healthy and cancer free for over two years, the next miracle came when we found out Shiree was pregnant.

On December 15, 2010 my sister gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl!

So when I found out that my sisters health took a turn for the worse, I instantly went to a dark place.

It's such a challenge to stay focused on positive energy and not give into the fear and doubt. Especially when it's my sisters life I'm talking about.

I want my sister to be well. Shiree has waited her whole life to be a mother- and from the second that baby entered our lives, my sister has focused on giving her unconditional love.

The thought of losing my sister or imaging life without her, kills me.

Yet I know that it is in this moment when my faith should be stronger than ever.

It's easy to be grateful and keep the faith when everything is magical and effortless.

The fear, doubt and negativity is much easier to give into. But that darkness will only lead to more destruction.

Thankfully, I was able to talk to my Grandma Shaffer (who celebrates her 75th birthday today) and I was reminded that energy is better spent focusing on what we can do, not what we can't.

Of course there is a large piece of me that feels selfish for living so far away from my family. For being unable to share in more of their day to day lives.

I would love to laugh with my sister, hold my niece on a daily basis, have coffee with my mom, go on a bike ride with my dad or just show up to Sunday dinner with my whole family.

However, I also believe that each of us has a path. A purpose on this earth. And I trust that we are lead on a journey that was designed specifically for us. If we can fulfill our lives on the deepest level, then we are more effective at helping others on their path.

Often I wonder if I'm too carefree with my approach to life.

Then I remember how long I struggled when I allowed fear and doubt to dictate how I lived from day to day-

The second I released all of those destructive thoughts, I was ready to see all of the amazing things that surround me.

I can be upset about things that happen in life, but that isn't going to change the outcome. The only way to truly change any outcome is to change the way you approach it.

The day before my Grandpa Shaffer passed away, he was laying in his hospital bed.

He knew he was dying, and yet he kept his sense of humor and wit.

He didn't cry. He didn't fight it. He had already spent five years battling cancer. He just enjoy his final days with his family surrounding him. He was a brilliant man.

I stood there crying over him. I was not ready to lose him.

He looked up, smiled and said,

"Don't be sad, Matt. I am so proud of you. I've had a good life."

That's when I decided to change my outlook.

On the phone this morning with my grandma, she said something to me that she would say all of the time while I was growing up,

"Nothing is in our control."

For a long time I would disagree with her when she said that. I believed we could change or control our lives-

But now I realize, the only thing we can control is our ability to make a choice.

The choice to seek out the positive energy, love and faith.

Or

The choice to give into fear and doubt.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Today my birthday celebration continues! ...and why not?

It's Cinco de Mayo! Which is basically a holiday created in honor of the fact that the Mexicans unexpectedly conquered the French at the Battle of Puebla.

I'm almost positive that no one in Mexico celebrates it, but in the grand tradition of the United States of America- we look to this day as a chance to raise a margarita and celebrate with our amigos south of the boarder!

So grab a poncho, break out the Latin music and line up the tequila shots... it's time for a fiesta!

Seriously though, I'm having such a wonderful week.

As I've mentioned many times in past entries, I never imagined what my life would be like past thirty.

I'm officially thirty-three years old and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I know how cliche it sounds, but my faith has never been stronger. Honestly, I'm in total ecstasy with the friends, family, adventures and opportunities that I have been blessed with in my life.

If my life ended tomorrow- I would go as a happy man who was fortunate enough to live a life beyond my wildest expectations.

But as long as my journey continues- I plan on blazing forward into the dark unknown with the same fearless attitude that has served me so well up to this point in my life!

On that note... I think it's time for another margarita!

Overwhelmed With Love On My Birthday!

I love a celebration.

It doesn't really matter what the occasion, I am always ready to party like a rock star.

So you can imagine how I feel today-

Today is my 33rd Birthday.

I never thought I'd be so excited about getting another year older once I turned thirty.

But recently it occurred to me:

Birthdays are like a smelly cheese or a delicious bottle of wine...

With age comes a rich flavor, bold confidence and refined restraint.

Plus, you're worth more!

This year, my birthday month (Yes, birthday month) started off on a high note!

The month began with a pre-birthday visit from two of my closest friends from New York City.

While they were here, we went to a Dodgers game, hung out at the beach and ate at every amazing restaurant under the sun!

Also during their stay, I found out that The Real Housewives of New York Season 4 Parody made the Boston Herald as the number 1 video to watch! Above the boys from the Jackass movies!

Then, I was asked to choreograph a video for The Cartoon Network featuring Lil P-Nut and Haunted by Heroes. Which was a total blast. Aside from the fact that we were shooting a throw back version of Steven Tyler and Run-D.M.C.'s "Walk This Way" circa 1986...

I was thrilled that I was able to bring my New York friends to the sound stage and share with them a slice of my life while they were in Los Angeles.

But today was the icing on my birthday cake-

I woke up this morning to an overwhelming chain of birthday wishes on Facebook.

Honestly, I couldn't believe how moved I was to wake up and see so many beautiful messages for my birthday from all of my friends old and new!

It's like my Grandma Shaffer always reminds me;

"Make new friends,

But keep the old,

New ones are silver.

Old ones are gold."

Today I feel like the most blessed man alive. I have the career I've always dreamed of.

A family who gives me unconditional love and support...

and there is no greater gift in the world, than the friendships I've made throughout my life.

To all of my friends, old and new- thank you for sharing your love and energy with me!

The Real Housewives of New York City Parody Season 4

This is our eighth parody from A Group Production, LLC.
I think by far our best to date.
I'm proud of this parody for several reasons; we wrote, produced and shot this parody in exactly one week, the entire cast was only available to shoot together for two hours because of scheduling conflicts and in our first day up on YouTube, we had over 1,500 views!
Not too bad- thanks to help from our Real Housewife and fan Jill Zarin, who shared our parody on her Facebook and Twitter account!
In fact, even Sonja Morgan shared this parody with her fans!
It's such a cool feeling to create something fun with a group of our talented actor friends and release it and have it be so well received. Granted we don't have our own television show yet... but believe me, it's not from not trying!

Becoming Me.

There is nothing greater than a perfect moment of clarity.

Everything in my life syncs seamlessly with the Universe-

A flash of warmth surrounds my body,

I'm calm and more alive than ever all at the same time.

I look in the mirror and stare at my reflection like I have a million times before

throughout my life;

This time I saw something new.

I recognized the change,

and laughed at the irony.

I spent so long fighting, even after I stopped hiding-

But now the time is right.

It makes perfect sense- I am becoming who I'm truly meant to be.

Now the real fun begins!

Goodbye 32. Hello 33.

I will be thirty three in less than two weeks, and I've never been more proud of the growth that I've made in one year of my life. Not just on a professional level, but on a personal plane too.
Looking back on the past fifteen years of my life I'm finally able to recognize that my journey so far has been filled with amazing opportunities, adventures and unexpected blessings.
Very few people are an overnight success in any field, obviously the entertainment industry is no exception.
Achieving my goals in this business has proven tough, yet promising. I've spent my entire adult life, and most of my youth with one objective-
Though it has taken longer than I imagined it would while daydreaming in seventh grade History class, I can finally see the manifestation of my goals.
I have spent the past decade and a half on a journey bringing me a step closer to my realization every day.
When I turned thirty I decided that I had a new decade to conquer. A new opportunity to live a more balanced life. Rather than focusing on the things I hadn't yet accomplished on my check list- I decided to throw the check list out and try a new approach. One that involved using my past achievements and experience to my advantage.
Rather than continuing to fight for my chance to be pulled off the bench, I decided to quit the team and start my own.
This time around, I'd allow myself to trust MY game plan. Play by my rules. Most important, I'd stop trying so hard to be a halfback, when I was born to be a forward.
I had already accomplished so much in my life. Yet I still didn't feel like I'd lived up to my true potential. So what did I have to lose?
I remembered that fifteen year old boy who was fearless. I knew that he was still somewhere inside me... Dying, because I had allowed myself to buy in to the idea that I should be worried.
The instant that I released EVERY insecurity and removed all doubt, the path was revealed.
A thought occurred to me- stop waiting for others to help. Get out there and ask for what you want! Don't worry about what they'll think of you or if they say no.
If they're in a position that can really help, they most likely got there the same way.
Anyone who has ever accomplished greatness in their life, did so because they took action instead of succumbing to fear.
Sure enough, the past two years have lead to tremendous growth for me as an artist and human.
I feel like I'm living a life beyond the dreams I had as a kid.
I always thought I was living "in the moment." Until I woke up from my daydream and began to experience the greatness in my life while it was happening.
I truly understand the wisdom in the following quote which was shared with me along time ago by an important person in my life:

"I have seperated with no thought of going back. I know something special is happening, I think my wings are unfolding. But I cannot yet see that I am flying."

- Soul Stories by Gary Zukav

I look forward to soaring in my thirty-third year of life!

Overachiever

My mind is racing-
I'm unable to unplug.
Focusing on a million things at once.
Ridiculous, I know how it ends-
It always works out.
Close your eyes,
Take a deep breath,
Release it.
Leave something for tomorrow,
and enjoy the rest of today...
Tomorrow may or may not arrive!

Exploitation At It's Finest... Toddlers & Tiaras The Parody

Glitter, rhinestones, pageant gowns and a flipper...

I'm pleased to present the latest project from A Group Production:

Toddlers & Tiaras The Parody

The Fifty Yard Dash!

I woke up feeling a little sad and overwhelmed.

Adamant about not spending my entire day in a funk,

I started writing in my journal.

It's a daily battle for me to remember that life is not a race-

Although, sometimes I think I would accomplish twice as much if I carried

around a stopwatch and a whistle!

Bound To Stand Out!

I've been an avid journal writer since I realized during my senior year of high school that unlike people- journals don't talk back!
You can write your deepest fears, share your greatest dreams and talk about whoever you want, and your journal continues to offer unconditional support in the form of a blank page.
Because I'm a creature of habit and suffer from my own self diagnosed OCD in addition to my slight need for perfection, I have used the same black hardcover bound sketch books as my journal for the past ten (or more) years.
My close friends and family know how much I love to write, and because of this, I'm showered with beautiful journals for Christmas, birthdays and special occasions.
As much as I love the sentiment, it strikes me as odd that while people realize that I love a journal, it never occurred to them that I'm always writing in the same black books.
So I have a box full of beautiful leather bound journals in lavish colors. Some are embossed with encouraging quotes. Others have gold lined pages. All of them sit empty, sad that I share my dreams with the same black book day after day. Month after month. Year after year.
Today marks a frighting new day for me...
Call it a whim or call it what it is- I haven't been able to get to the art supply store where I buy my black sketch books, and I've been journal-less for the better part of two weeks.
Desperate to write and create, I decided to go for it!
I picked a cool distressed brown leather journal with gold lined pages that was given to me as a birthday present over four years ago.
I spent all of last year pushing myself to be more adventurous and allow my inner light to shine- and it paid off in amazing ways!
Then it dawned on me: I'm spending so much time and energy fighting to be nothing but Me! I'm working to share all of my special qualities and talents that separate me from everyone else-
But I can't even share my deepest feelings and creativity in anything other than a plain black book, that sits on a shelf along side all of the other boring black books filled with my wildest dreams and thoughts?
How sad.
Here I am striving to be comfortable allowing myself to shine everyday... And I keep my creative thoughts stacked up on a bookshelf in a military like uniformity?!?
So, as difficult as it is for me to break tradition, I'm proud that I just wrote ten pages in my beautiful brown leather journal!
Once this journal is full, it will sit on that bookshelf in line with all the black journals that came before it, and every time I glance over and see it, I will remember that April 8, 2011 was when I fully realized that some things are just born to stand out! So I should stop fighting so hard to fall in line!