Mission Accomplished!

I'm sitting in front of a computer screen in a gorgeous home with a decedent view of a snow covered mountain in Beaver Creek, Colorado. I was invited to my friends father's house for the New Year, and I honestly cannot think of a more appropriate way to finish out 2010.
Ordinarily the end of a year is always a little tough for me. I'm sentimental by nature, and I get emotional with the end of almost anything-
This year is a completely different feeling for me. I think for the first time ever, I truly lived in the moment each and every day. I set out to conquer my goals and resolutions, and I spent the majority of my time focused on creating opportunities and enjoying the process along the way.
It was no small task to sit down and force myself to share my deepest thoughts, dreams, setbacks, disappointment, heartache and Private emotions. Nevertheless, I gained such joy from releasing these ideas into the universe without fear of judgement. Plus, the act of this daily routine really sparked my creative juices.
Make no mistake, I'm not delusional- I realize that more than half of my entries are just the silly ramblings of a crazy guy with big ambitions. Still, I'm impressed that I actually found the energy to focus (even if only for ten minutes a day) on writing out a thought, feeling or experience that might help me get a step closer to my ultimate goal.
I decided to blog for myself. There was no expectation of achieving a huge cult following or to be picked up for my phenomenal literary skills- My only hope was that blogging would encourage me to stay active in my journey as an artist.
I'm thrilled to report, it has. I've gained a level of self-achievement that is directly associated with the success of my personal growth as an actor, choreographer and person.
I learned a great deal about myself and my approach to life from these entries. Most of all, that if I deal with my feelings in the moment, and release them, I'm fully competent to continue on a positive path toward the direction of my ultimate dream. I guess it was a way for me to manifest the energy and passion inside and help me to guid it in the right direction.
I'm ready for 2010 to come to an end, because I maxed out the full potential in each day. I'm inspired and looking forward to the amazing adventures that are in store for 2011 and beyond.
So, this is it... My final daily blog entry for 2010! I'm grateful to those of you who may have stopped by to enjoy an entry in the past year, and to those who followed each day- I hope that my stories sparked at least one person to take a bold step in the direction of their dream, or at the very least brought a smile to someones face...
I will not be writing a daily entry in 2011, I've decided to use my creative juices to finish a book that I started over a year ago... I will however be back weekly to share my adventures in 2011. I'm not sure if I will stick to a specific day, but I promise I will check in once a week- after all, it would be impossible now to imagine my life without a blog!
Here's to another year full of love, passion, creativity and success-
Happy New Year!

Random Thought

Ambition.
I often wonder where my creative desire, passion and determination came from.
Is it a product of my childhood?
Are we born with a predetermined path that we follow on instinct as we grow up?
I'm so intrigued with my ability to endure, despite every set back and obstacle. In fact, I often thrive when faced with negative reaction.
I believe there is enough room for each and every one of us to succeed at living up to our full potential-
Sadly, too many people worry about the unexpected challenges.
I say, bring on the challenges!
As I continue to grow, I realize that some of the best experiences I've encountered, blossomed from a failed attempt at something else.
As 2010 comes to a resolve, I look back at the extraordinary accomplishment I managed to achieve, and it comforts me.
I'm thankful that I spent 365 days working toward a dream that I've had since I was at least eight years old.
I was fortunate to have a strong fire for how I wanted to use my life-
And the best role models in my life to inspire my vision.

Fun With Friends

Beaver Creek, CO
With very special friends-
Pre-dinner cocktails,
A sleigh ride around the snowy countryside.
Dropped off in font of the lodge for a delicious dinner-
Back to the cabin for some rest and relaxation-
Tomorrow a lazy day around the fireplace.
I'm so blessed with amazing friends,

Drawing Near...

It's unreal how fast time passes by-
It doesn't feel like it's been a year since I sat in this very spot on my Grandma Shaffer's couch and stared up at the ceiling looking answers.
I've learned a lot about myself this past year.
Writing a daily blog has continued to inspire me to create projects in the industry.
The New Year is always tough for me-
I'm flooded with emotions both happy and sad. As I think back over all of the accomplishments and adventures I had in 2010, I'm overwhelmed with pride...
It's no easy task focusing on constant positive reinforcement and creative energy. In the end though, the prize has been more than worth it.
I'm grateful for each and every experience in my life, and I look forward to a new year full of great opportunities and continued love and support.

The New Addition!

Lily-
Little furry black bundle of joy-
Impossible to believe you were left at the pound.
Lovable.
You had me the moment you walked over and stared up at me with those sad but hopeful eyes.

It's Official!

Today was the day that I officially became my gorgeous niece Kellyn's Godfather.
This little baby girls is a miracle. Beyond the fact that my sisters chances of conceiving were very low because of her radiation and chemotherapy treatments after discovering she had cancer, Kellyn was a perfect angel. Not even a peep from her during the entire eight minute baptism.
As I stood at the alter in the beautiful old church in Florence, Colorado with; my sister, Josh and Kellyn (in Josh's arms)- I couldn't help but burst into tears . Ironic that a ten day old baby with water being dumped on her head remained calm and happy. Meanwhile, a flood of emotions comes crashing out of my eyes and nose!
I've never been more proud of my sister. There I stood, gazing at this magnificent creation that she and Josh produced, and I was the man that they picked to insure that Kellyn would have a strong sense of faith and unconditional love and guidance for as long as I'm alive.
Strangely enough, I'd been struggling with my own faith over the past two weeks, and it wasn't until today when I stood before God and my family, that I was able to see the many blessings I have in life fight now.
But the highlight of today's baptism for me was not the homily or the cute outfit that Kellyn wore- today I held my right arm around my sisters shoulders and cried with joy. I'm beside myself with gratitude. My sister was born to be a mother, and today I saw and felt a shift in her armor. I'm most grateful for our new bond. I made a promise to my sister that I would always be there to love and supports her, Josh and their daughter Kellyn. All it took was that first look at my peanut Kellyn to know that I was wrapped for life!
I consider myself a lucky guy tonight! I become the Goddfather!

Merry Christmas

Family gathered in the living room,
Opening presents was fun- but it's just not the same as an adult.
Let the cooking begin!
A full house.
The food is served...
I ate entirely too much food.
Then we were off to the movie theatre for a Christmas treat.
Yes- life is nice.
Merry Christmas

Not The EVEning I Had Planned...

I've spent this entire year forcing happiness on myself- even when it was difficult or inconvenient. Especially then.
The idea: Positive energy can change the outcome of the current situation. For the better part of this year, my little scheme worked. Of course there were a few "bad" days in the mix. There were moments when I'd ask myself if I was just being delusional or negligent with my feelings. At times I even felt guilty not feeling sad, or upset over something that I couldn't change.
I must admit, each and every single time I started to fear, doubt or worry about a situation or circumstance I forced myself to think of something positive instead- ninety percent of the time it worked too! Several times it lead to a new opportunity or job. Half the time it changed the situation, and almost every time- I felt better.
So you can imagine how upsetting it is to face the last ten days of 2010 with such negative events. For whatever reason, I have been unable to convince myself to take a positive approach while at home with my family. Even worse, it feels like I've regressed, which elevates my negative energy times ten. What I'm coming to terms with is that no matter how positive or happy I am in life, there are certain emotions that I'm going to have to face sooner or later. It will be painful. It will be work. But hopefully, it will allow me to move forward in 2011.
I think the greatest challenge is understanding that before I can release my emotions- I have to acknowledge them and work toward confronting the source of the negativity. But the difficulty is making sure that I don't get lost in the negative emotion.
I get it... Each of us (for the most part) is just trying their best to do their part.
Life is short- and no matter how painful moments can be (even on the worst days) every moment we have should be full of love, friendship and family. The family dynamic can be extremely difficult- however, in my opinion there's no greater love or unconditional support than that of your family. I fully intended on accomplishing all of my hopes and dreams, and there will be no one better to share that with than my family.

Holiday Cheer?

Is rapidly turning into Holiday fear!
Too many people to please,
Too many places to go.
Too much work to accomplish,
Next year, I've decided I'm flying somewhere far away from the family.
No offense, I love them-
But I hear that Rome is beautify this time of year..,

Niece

Never imagined how beautiful you would be.
I'm in awe when I stare into your magnificent eyes.

Extraordinary in every way.
Changed my life forever.
Ecstasy- pure and innocent.

This Is Your Life...

There comes a moment when you realizes: Yep, this is my life right now- either get on board or spend your time miserable!
For me it's always the same old story... I fight like hell to stay positive. Enlightened. Happy.
I try to remember that so far I've had a pretty excellent life.
Nevertheless, there are those days when you come face to face with the reality of your world- the bad, the sad and the painful.
A trip back home is like an unplanned, unpredictable opportunity to uncover the world that you've become an outsider to.
My life goes on while I'm in Los Angeles pursuing my career. So I'm not sure why I expect the members of my family to live in suspended reality.
My cousins grow up. My mom changes her hair style. My dad rebuilds another bicycle. My sister has a beautiful baby girl named Kellyn. My grandma's Parkinson's takes a deeper impact on her body. Each incident is only as significant as I allow them to be. Individually the impact is not as strong (with the exception of my sisters baby) and yet, when they're lumped together in a two week visit- the magnification takes its toll.
Still, I cannot shake the echo of my Grandpa Shaffer's voice as he was dying in the hospital, "Don't be sad Matt."
Over the past year and a half, I've carried his voice in my head, trying to maintain a positive attitude even in the worst of scenarios.
Overall, the outcome of the positive energy has lead to a productive and blessed year...
So I'm disappointed that this trip has been so rough on me. I believe I have the choice to remain happy. I trust that everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately, it's nearly impossible for me to ignore my grandma's condition.
To see the woman who inspired me throughout my life; my mentor, role model, cheerleader and best friend struggle to walk, swallow food, or fight to find the word to finish her thought- it is pure devastation.
But I believe that I have to continue to live my life. I fight with my inner judgement when it comes to this choice. At times it feels like I'm pretending, putting on an act so that I don't have to deal with the reality and pain. I want to accept that keeping a positive energy breeds a happier outcome for everyone involved...
So tonight, when I found myself leaving my seventy-four year old Grandma at home alone to visit with my mom at the home town bowling alley, I felt like I made the wrong choice. Nevertheless, I was there and thought I might as well make the best of it! I looked around the small but cool bowling alley, and all of the happy people bowling and enjoying the Christmas covered dish party that was going on simultaneously, and thought: "This is your life right now... You are here. So you might as well enjoy it!" I went to the bar and grabbed a drink, loaded up a plate of food and started to relax. No sooner than I did that, my cousin and his wife and children walked in and the night was a total blast!
Once again reminding me that no matter what life gives you- the opportunity to make the choice to find the positive in a situation will always end happier than the negative.

It's The Most Wonderful Time I'd the year?

I'm not sure if I'd agree entirely with the classic Christmas song.
If it's such a wonderful time of the year, then why am I so stressed out?
Coming home for Christmas doesn't have to be this hard does it?
Of course I'm so happy to see all of my family and friends;
Still, I wish that we focused more energy on spending quality time with one another- instead of keeping score with each other regarding the amount of time that we aren't together.
As if shopping, baking, wrapping, cleaning, etc. etc. etc. -wasn't bad enough, I have to consider how I should divide my time with each of the members of my family.
Each one reminds me, "Don't worry about hurting my feelings, go have fun... I'll see you when you get home."
But no one realizes that their demands are the source of my stress.
I'm flattered that everyone wants to see me,
I just wish I could be in three places at once!
Then we'd all be happy...
Until then- "It's the most Okay time of the year!"

Wiped Out!

What happens when you decided to adopt a perfect little 8 week old puppy?
You spend your entire day devoted to that beautiful little creature-
But I am falling asleep just trying to finish this blog...
Which means that taking care of our new addition is exhausting!

A Family Tradition

One of the perks of belonging to a large Italian family is our ability to work as team in the name of food- Seriously, the Keebler Elves have nothing on us!
The best part of coming home for Christmas is spending time around the table preparing delicious goodies like; ravioli, Italian Wedding soup with dough balls and my all time favorite- pizzelle, heavenly Italian cookies, paper thin and amazing...
I promise there is nothing more tantalizing than walking into grandmas house while we're kneading dough, cooking the sauce for ravioli's or baking a decadent sweet treat. The icing on the cake is devouring everything once it's done! ...there in lays the problem- the only family tradition greater than making the food...
Is eating it!

Complications On The Home Front...

I imagine the holidays tend to be a tricky time of year for every family.

Of course I'm delighted to be with my family, especially this year with the new addition of my niece Kellyn or as I like to call her: "my little peanut!" Still, I'm faced with the hurdles of having a very large, emotional and outspoken Italian family- add in the trials and tribulations of parents who are divorced and remarried, their extended family and half siblings- and you have a recipe for disaster!

The most frustrating part for me, is that no matter how hard I try to approach this time of year, I always seem to hurt someone, usually me. I will go out of my way to plan the entire trip, and it blows up in my face. Next time I'll make no plans whatsoever, and that comes crashing down on me- Regardless of the path I decide to take, it's always the wrong direction.

The worst part is how upset I feel once Christmas has passed, and I'm back in California wishing I could have been more patient, calm and carefree!

Every year my goal is to live in the moment and enjoy the time I have with each member of my family, and every year, I end up fighting with someone in my family...

I've been home for three days, and I've come dangerously close to an outburst. Thankfully, I've managed to remember that my family acts out like they do, because the love me and they want to spend time with me- It becomes an unintentional competition.

So I've reached the conclusion that in order to avoid complications on the home front all together; I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath and smile. If past holidays show me anything, it's that no matter what I do "right" or "wrong" my family is going to act however they want depending on where they're at in their life... so my only objective now is to not to react! If I don't engage- I don't have rage!

Home For The Holidays

My Grandma Shaffer always reminds me, "Home is where your heart is."
As a kid, I never understood what that meant- My heart is in my chest... How can my home be there?
Fortunately when I moved out on my own, I began to make sense of that phrase.
Chicago, New York, Los Angeles; no matter where I've lived, I've kept the love of my family in my heart.
Still, nothing compares to the aromas, laughter and love of returning home.
Over the past fourteen years I've found great comfort in my visits. Despite the silly fights with my dad, or the screaming matches with my sister, Christmas at home with my family has always been a joy.
As with everything in life- eventually things change. Over the past couple of years I've watched as things slowly change and evolve.
After losing my Grandpa Shaffer a year and a half ago- returning home has a new energy.
Of course I'm so grateful to be with the rest of my family- but there are moments where I flashback to a Christmas from my childhood.
It's painful to come home expecting everything to remain untouched and realize that life moves forward. True, the surroundings seem very normal at first glance. But look a little closer and you begin to see just how fast time and distance take their toll: No Christmas decorations up, because who has the time? No tray of baked goods out, because who has the energy? Then of course there is the absence of my Grandpa Shaffer, and the effect that his death still has on two Christmas later...
As a kid, Christmas is full of joy, toys and laughter. As an adult, it's stress, sadness, and memories-
No matter how hard I fight the tears, they're there. I just strive to remember the good times and laugh as much as I can.
It kills me to watch my grandma suffer from Parkinson's disease- This beautiful woman who has spent her life serving and inspiring others is slowly losing her ability to do function in the way that she's accustomed to.
Despite her challenges, her lack of energy and her pain of losing her husband of fifty-four years, she still finds the ability to share her amazing spirit! Her infectious laugh is all I need to be reminded that, someday when her battle with Parkinson's takes it's toll or she is no longer with us during Christmas- I will remember that home is where the heart is... And though my heart will ache from missing her- I will find comfort in the memory of her spirit, and I will fight like hell to keep her safe at home in my heart. Until then- I'm grateful that I'm in her house, the house that I've know for thirty-two years, and I am happy!

Extraordinary.

After almost thirty hours of labor- my sister was forced to have a last minute C-section today.
I will tell you that my sister has always been a fighter, but this little girl proved she is a force to be reckoned with!
I'm pleased to announce that at 2:44 PM my sister gave birth to a beautiful, healthy and breathtaking baby girl named Kellyn.
What I was not prepared for is how, at the first moment I saw my little niece, my life changed in a way I could never expected.
I felt a rush of elation that I've never experienced before inmy life.
I'm so happy for my sister- The only thing she ever talked about when we were children was the day that she becomes a mom.
After my sister had cancer and went through her chemotherapy and radiation treatments, we knew that the odds of her being able to conceive and carry a child were very slim.
Proving once again just how resilient my sister is! In addition to reminding me that Faith is stronger than statistics-

A Call From My Sister

This morning at 7:55 am I received a phone call from my sister Shiree on her way to the hospital!
She's going to have her first baby- a girl. And I'm happy to report that my little niece is almost a week past her scheduled birth day...
Proving what I've known from the get go... This wonderful bundle of joy is going to be just as stubborn, feisty and difficult as my sister was!
Pay back is a beautiful thing!
I plan on spoiling my niece as much as possible!
I'm on my way to Colorado now, and with any luck- that girl will come just in time for me to welcome her into our family!
I am so excited for the best Christmas gift ever!
Life.

Ode to AT&T

I'm completely over AT&T,

Their terrible coverage and nasty attitude enrage me!

No coverage, no bars, dropped calls,

They lie in their commercials, they've got balls!

I wish that Apple would leave,

So that I could give AT&T the heave!

Jack and Coke

I want to meet the original person who decided to mix Jack Daniels whiskey and Coke together;

It's such a deliciously sweet, crisp drink with bold cherry flavor!

Too bad drinking a few Jack and Coke's bloats me worse than a beached whale...

Ah, the holidays- where no matter how hard I try, I just can't say no to free booze!

Seasons Greetings from one bloated "could be" Santa- all thanks to Jack and Coke.

Bring On Christmas...

Walking into an eclectic crowd of people,

Wine and gift in hand,

Searching for a parking pass-

Get interrupted by an old friend,

A glass of wine is handed to me.

Mariah Carey is rocking out on the stereo,

I overindulge on the appetizers.

Parking pass has been located and taken care of-

Step out to the balcony for some fresh air,

the fresh air is tainted from the smokers corner.

Conversation with the smokers circle is always a riot... (Just like in high school)

Back inside, more guest have arrived and people are dancing.

The Secret Santa gift exchange was a total success!

Everyone has had a few glasses of holiday "cheer."

I love Christmas parties.

It's a good thing too... I have four more this weekend!

Ding Dong The Cold Is Gone!

Headache subdued,

Nose is drained,

Throat is clear;

The nasty cold is gone!

Bring on punch bowl of holiday cheer-

Just wash your hands before you serve it to me please!

One cold a year is good enough for me...

"Crazy People" are Making Me Crazy!

Sure, I'm a self-confessed type "A" personality with a touch of self-diagnosed OCD; Add a half a dash of Italian blood- and you'll see that I am passionate, emotional and yes... from time to time a bit fiery! Albeit, I consider myself a fairly rational, fun-loving, idealistic yet grounded person...

Nevertheless, I have come to accept that there is something in me that attracts CRAZY like a rock star to a blond bombshell with big boobs! This magnetic force that pulls the crazy people toward me is something that I've learned to deal with and even somewhat accept. I used to believe that I sought it out as a challenge or a fun adventure. However, as I grow older I've discovered that even when I immediately recognize the crazy energy upon an introduction and distance myself, the "crazy" instantly attaches itself to me with a force stronger than the gravitational pull!

I don't enjoy the energy or emotions that I experience while dealing with and (attempting to) rationalize with these crazy people. I have spent the past fourteen years of my adult life working on my inner foundation: What triggers me. Why do I react a specific way? How do I maintain integrity without losing my temper or allowing emotion to dictate action.

I'm in an industry where emotion, passion and artistic personalities collide- It's to be expected that everyone who lives their life the way artist do has a dash of "crazy" in them... Why else would we continue to submit our self to constant rejection, judgment and uncertainty. Still, there is a fine line between what is "normal" and delusional!

So I'm stating to the world that I can no longer maintain friendships or connections with:

People who lie about lying.

People who scream in my face about someone else.

People who do whatever they need to get ahead.

People who blame others for their crazy outbursts.

People who flip on a dime; one minute they're singing your praise and the next they're bashing you.

People who think it's "okay" to say whatever they want and then walk away. Or worse, stay and scream without listening to whatever emotions the other party may be feeling.

People who have no accountability.

People who are unaware of their behavior and what others think of it.

So there you have it. I know that I've pretty much ruled out working again in this town... Nevertheless- I can no longer sacrifice my sanity for a friendship or a job- No matter how great they may be during the "good" moments.

In the end, it ALWAYS ends with a bang... (and not the good kind!)

I refuse to go "crazy" dealing with crazy people!

Man's Best Friend...

When I come home tired from a long day,
there you are waiting by the foot of my bed;
Tail wagging,
Ears at standing attention,
Head cocked ever so gently to the right,
Dark lined eyes wide open saying, "I'm ready to love you now!"

When I'm too tired to wake up at six in the morning,
there you are hopping around the bed;Paws scratching at my face,
Mouth wide from yawning,
Head cocked ever so gently to the left,
Dark lined eyes half asleep saying, "I'm ready for you to love me now!"

Your ability to know when I'm sad is remarkable,
Your willingness to cheer me up is wonderful,
Your unconditional love makes you my perfect little yorkie...
Ginger, you're my angel.

Photo by: Christopher Ameruoso 2010

Can't Sleep!

Dry itchy eyes,
Phlegm filled chest,
Non-stop burning nasal drip;
Too hot under the covers-
Freezing without them.
Wide awake,
Tires as hell!
Miserable.

Holiday Head Cold...

Woke up with a dry mouth-

Burning watery eyes,

Itchy, phlegm throat;

I feel like I'm hacking up a lung!

I try my best to avoid these little colds...

I overdose on garlic, hot sauces, vitamin C and (as of yesterday) an abundance of Zinc!

Still, the scratchy irritated nose and lungs rage on!

By the way, did you know that phlegm is actually a good thing?

Apparently, phlegm contains "infection fighting substances" that help your body fight off cold or flu symptoms!

The good news is, by the time you're coughing up the nasty green and yellow film, the infection is almost over, and your body is trying to "expel" the phlegm naturally!

So bring up the phlegm! I want this head cold to be over...

I've got four more holiday parties to attend this week!

Christmas is Coming and I Am Getting Fat!

The holiday's are here.

I know it, because my tummy is hanging over the waistband on my underwear!

I love parties...

I just wish I could figure out a way to say NO to the;

cheese platter,

fried appetizers with the mix of unbelievable dips,

a second serving of the entree,

the dessert tray,

and the multiple glasses of wine, eggnog and cocktails!

Wow. I know what I'm going to ask Santa for Christmas-

Lap Band Surgery!

...just kidding! I'll do it the old fashioned way...

I'll do a cleanse and fast as soon as Christmas is over!

Or maybe New Years Day?!?

Hanukkah is Fun!

The fourth candle was lit,

the wine was poured.

Cross conversation and bursts of laughter-

Too much wine and brisket!

Amazing people,

wonderful host and hostess-

A brilliant Hanukkah celebration!

I Love A Gingerbread Latte!

My Gingerbread Latte song, sung in the melody of Jingle Bells:

Gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread latte-

Oh what fun it is to sip while sitting here today- hey!

Gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread latte;

Oh what fun it is to drink at Starbucks in LA!

Dashing through the mall,

In a hurry to shop and pay;

Through the crowds I weave-

Raging all the way.

Tummy starts to growl,

Gotta get caffeine-

What fun it is to sit and watch-

The shoppers being mean!

Oh, gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread latte-

What fun it is to drink you up during Christmas in LA!

What Ever Happened To...

Customer service?

Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of paying way too much money, for way too little service!?!

If I spend one more minute wasted, listening to a prerecorded apology from a robot with elevator music playing in the background- I might go insane!

It's odd that we as a society don't make more noise about what these large companies are getting away with...

Why do I have to call my cable company to report an outage, only to be yelled at by a robot?

Aren't I the guy spending over one hundred dollars a month for their service?

Why can't they call me?

Why can't they program their stupid little automated machine to call us when they're providing shitty service?

I am so OVER outsourcing!

I'm so OVER repeating myself to a robot operator...

Oh, how I long for the days when you used to be able to get a real human on the phone!

Rage!

Really

Angry

Getting

Emotional!

Shopping to Do...

Shows to enjoy...

The holidays have arrived.

And I have no desire to spend any money!

I know, I know; "Bah humbug!"

But can you blame me (or anyone) in this economy?

I'm very grateful to have work right now-

But if the past two years has taught us anything, it's to save not spend.

Yet everywhere I look people are spending!

I guess it's a good sign... Maybe things are looking up.

Still, I think I'm going to be creative with my gift giving this year...

I'll give the gift of joy and laughter! ...and maybe I'll bring a bottle of cheap wine too!

Hey, it's better than a lump of coal.

Big Brother Is Watching You...

It's official, I'm socially tapped in to the world!

The thought that once terrified me and sent me into a week long panic attack after reading George Orwell's book Nineteen Eighty-Four, in Mr. Goff's senior English class has become my reality!

I'm now linked, cross linked, integrated and plugged into every possible social website out there.

If I need a trusted opinion about the latest and greatest restaurant I'm thinking about eating at I can Yelp it. If I need to get a table at said restaurant, I can OpenTable it. If I want to let all of my friends across the world know I'm eating at that restaurant I can Facebook Place it. If I want to share a picture of my meal with everyone I will Tweet it. When I want to encourage new contacts to try it, I'll post it to Linkedin. When I'm ready to rave about that place myself, I'll go back to Yelp and write a review. Finally, when I'm ready to talk about the whole experience, I'll write a blog post, and share with everyone through GoogleBuzz!

And when the government wants to know exactly where I am and what I'm doing, I've given them a detailed map; with digital photocopies, bookmarks of every point along the journey including (but not limited to) a time stamped entry, my own personal commentary and an all access pass to use this information however they want!

Isn't technology wonderful!

Relentless.

Once I get something in my mind,

all bets are off!

I'll do just about anything to make my vision a reality.

At times I may seem; overbearing, adamant, feisty, pushy, and high strung-

I admit I have type "A" personality traits.

I'm doing my best not to strive to be such and overachiever.

I'm no longer a perfectionist, instead I aim to do the best I can with each project so that I can release it into the universe and make space for a new dream.

Yes, I may be annoying at times.

But always with positive energy and a motivative smile!

I'm relentless- and proud of it!

Ginger Gets A Bath.

My little yorkie Ginger hates taking baths.

She'll scurry side to side like a little sewer rat.

The entire bathroom is covered with a layer of soapy, watery foam-

Finally the last of the shampoo is rinsed from her coat;

Wow! That took longer than either of us wanted it to...

Now comes the fun part-

The blow dryer!

The shaking and whining begins.

Despite her magnificent struggle,

my powerful, yet gentle and loving grasp wins!

The dryer works its warming magic-

The adorable and fluffy fur ball is sparkling clean.

She is ecstatic to have her well deserved cookie.

Peace is restored in her luxurious doggy life!

...until the next time.

Black Friday...

Or as I like to call it...

Love

Eating

Filling

Turkey and mashed potatoes!

Omg

Very

Excited! I'm so

Ready for:

Stuffing

Thankful on Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful for:

My faith and spiritual guidance.

My wonderful family and friends,

and for their health and unconditional love and support.

The amazing career I continue to cultivate.

The passion, drive and determination I find when I feel like giving up.

My home and all of the blessing inside.

The people who continue to inspire me to be a better person.

The adventures and opportunities that life continues to offer me.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...

The delicious turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, buttermilk biscuits, squash casserole and pumpkin pie I will be devouring in about six hours.

A gym membership.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Six Word Essay on Holiday Decadence.

Overeating leads to a jiggly tummy!

Movie Madness!

My favorite part of Thanksgiving week, aside from:

Family, friends and food of course-

Is the holiday movies!!!

There are very few things in life that I luxuriate in as much as going to a movie...

I'm sure it has a lot to do with my childhood. Growing up, everyone in my family was always off in a different direction. Mom, dad, Shiree and me- never in the same place at the same time. That is to say, until Friday came along. Generally on Fridays, we would all come together for a "date night." Dinner and a movie!

So naturally, I became addicted to food and movies!

Anyway, I always enjoy this time of year, because this is generally when Hollywood pumps the theatres jam packed with big budget films they hope will gross millions and become OSCAR contenders.

Since I have the week off for Thanksgiving, I intend on watching as many of those block busters as I can!

So dim the lights, pump up the THX and bring on the popcorn!

So strange, the way life works.

One day you feel invincible, and the next,

you fear you're never going to accomplish another worthwhile thing in your life.

Release it;

Just let it go.

It's hard, I know-

Positive affirmations can feel cheesy or delusional.

Wondering, "What's the point?"

But inspiring how fast positive energy, creates positive action.

As much as I'd love to have a lifetime of constant happiness and success, I'm reminded:

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination."

It's frustrating that I can be so sure of myself and attain such wonderful things, and then buy into the disappointment while experiencing a "dry spell."

Nevertheless, we are programed to want more, do better, reach the top!

The question is, do you ever reach the top? And once you get there, then where do you go?

I think at some point you grasp that reaching one peak only means that you have a long trek back down the mountain, where a new challenge awaits: How to stay positive and focused as you begin the steep and rocky climb along whichever path you decided to explore next?

Let The Holidays Begin!

Woke up today with coffee and treats!

Next, no holiday week should start off without a festive movie...

Can you say: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows - Part 1

Then, a delicious brunch on Sunset Boulevard.

Later, a trip to the mall for some pre-holiday sales!

Followed by an overcrowded scavenger hunt through Trader Joe's for Thanksgiving groceries.

Finally, at home snuggled up on the couch in front of the Christmas tree drinking hot coco and getting ready to watch the latest version of A Christmas Carol!

Let the holidays begin!

In Fifteen Years... An Essay From The Past.

On a recent trip home to see my family, I discovered a box of my old school papers that my dad had tucked away for me in one of those plastic Rubbermaid storage boxes.
Of course my curious nature got the best of me and I decided to mill through it to see just how geeky a student I was. I spent most of my teenage years spread too thin. I was an overachiever in a major way. Between my dance and theatre training, Spanish club, drama club, student council, Boy Scouts and choir, I still found time to stress out about maintaining a 3.8 (or higher) GPA!
As I read through the essays, term papers and book reports, I was transported back in time. One part nostalgia, one part gratitude that I NEVER have to go back to high school!
Then, I came across an essay from my college prep English class circa 1996. The title "In Fifteen Years." I remember this class very well, as it was my first class of the school day and my teacher, Mr. Goff was brilliant. I read the essay and I was shocked-
I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise how well I knew myself. Even then.

Nevertheless, it's very validating to read a fortune cookie from the past, so to speak.
I thought I'd share the essay below. Although I'm re-typing it, I will make no changes to the words I wrote fourteen years ago.
The grammar may not be the best, but somethings will never change.

In Fifteen Years

As I approach the end of my senior year, I find myself thinking about where I will be in fifteen years. I have many goal that I would like to accomplish.

To begin, I see myself holding a successful career on Broadway. I would like to have a stable job, and name that is well known in the entertainment industry. I also see myself as a family man, I would like to have a strong bond with my wife, and children. Fifteen years from now, the most important thing in my life will not be money. However, I see myself as a wealthy man. I plan to live as well as teach dance, in New York City. My goal for the future, is to have a well rounded education. After high school, I plan on attending the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, in New York. There, I hope to receive an education that can take me far in my career. In years to come, I hope to gain success and a knowledge, that will help me become a leader of tomorrow. Most important to me however, is to be happy with my own life, in fifteen years, I feel that is the key to my goals in the years to come.

I find some small comfort in the fact that I'm living my life very much like I had envisioned it would be. Sure, there are some obvious differences- No wife or children, but I still have a year, and I still very much plan on the children. What I find most assuring is that on some small level, I have achieved my dreams. I've continued the journey toward the goals I set for myself so long ago, and despite the ups and downs that are par for the course of an actor, I'm incredibly happy.
Regardless of the lack of wealth I've yet to receive, I consider myself a success for the simple reason that I did not give up.
I will not give up on my dream. No matter how tough the journey gets, I know this immense passion pumping through my blood is there for a reason. I figure, if I was so sure of myself fifteen years ago... it's time to write a new essay with the same title: In Fifteen Years.

Holiday Excitement!

Twinkling lights line the streets.
Tree lots popping up on corners.
The smell of pine and cinnamon.
Hot chocolate, while walking along the festive faux streets at The Grove.
Holiday movies! ...I want to see them all this week!
The tree is up and decorated.
Christmas music playing in the back ground-
I wonder how long it's going to be charming?
Before the nasty shoppers ruin it for everyone...
Oh! I am so ready for a Gingerbread Latte!

One Word: (and a picture...)

Disneyland!

Overcomplicated.

Life is short.
It should not be overcomplicated-
A very wise man once told a dear friend of mine, "If you want to dance, dance. If you don't want to dance, don't dance."
...words to live by!

Releasing the Fear. Again.

I'm not sure where all the emotion is coming from lately?

I'm not experiencing any major life dramas.

I've managed to make it through this year without a lot of the fear and self-doubt that I've placed on myself in years past.

I know I'm not anxious about money or work, I've succeeded in staying out of debt and I have great jobs directing and choreographing theatre lined up through next summer, both despite this awful economy.

My relationship is thriving. My career is on track, and I feel like I've grown as an artist and a person in 2010.

Yet I cannot shake this uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I've spent the better part of this year doing everything in my power to move through the setbacks, negative energy and fear. I said yes to whatever adventure came toward me, and because of it, I found myself working with creative people on television and film.

My partner and I created a hit YouTube parody that caught the attention of the Bravo network and one of its reality stars.

I've stayed healthy and in shape- Plus, I continue to "check in" with myself; who I am and what I want to accomplish.

Nevertheless, I still feel like I'm not doing enough!

I'm positive this feeling should be categorized as "Fear and Self-doubt." Even so, I maintain the idea that I should be doing more.

Over-achiever? Perfectionist? Realist? ...or am I just another victim of the conception that you can never rest.

I don't want to go through life always thinking I need to do more, more, more! I hope to enjoy the fruits of my labor from time to time too. I guess my fear is that, if I don't push myself daily, I will float through life, and turn around at seventy years old, wondering why "it" never happened.

So I'm forced to constantly remind myself that "it" is happening everyday, and has been my entire adult life. I'm aware that I have a wonderful life. I've enjoyed an amazing career up until now, and I don't take that for granted.

This year especially, I've witnessed the power of positive energy and action. I made it a point to release the doubt, by focusing on an action that could change the path that the fear was headed. In every instance this year, it has worked.

Moreover, the bold steps in allowing my authentic (for lack of a better word, thanks to Oprah) self to shine, has reminded me that who I am is what makes me special. Something I've always felt inside, but with few exceptions, been too afraid of what others might think to unleash it.

What was I scared of? Standing out? Isn't that what I've been working so hard to do?

I guess I'm feeling so uneasy now, because a part of me wonders if I'll be able to continue this inspired state of mind into the new year. If I did so well in 2010, will I be able to top that?

But even as I write the words, and hear them bouncing around in my head, I see how ludicrous this notion is.

Everything in my past has illustrated that my life as a person and artists continues to evolve. There will be setbacks, I'm sure. How I respond to them is up to me.

There's a dark voice that plays in the back of my mind from time to time saying, "What if you don't book another job? What if you don't make it? What if you're forty-five and broke?"

For too long, that voice held me back from unleashing my true potential.

But the spirit inside of me is a fighter, and the flame that was re-lit in my soul is doing everything in its power to reach the darkest crevices in my subconscious- to shine that light and blind the self-doubt that serves no purpose.

"Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you" -Marrianne Williamson

Beside, the only thing in life to fear, is a missed opportunity!

Six Word Essay on Thanksgiving.

You can never have enough stuffing!

Sunday Coma.

The problem with spending all day Saturday eating and drinking,

is waking up Sunday in a food and alcohol coma-

Detox is necessary!

Saturday Meatball Dinner...

Rose's are red,

Violet's are blue,

My meatballs will rock;

The socks off of you!

There's nothing I love more than grandma's home cooking.

But I will admit- I make a damn good meatball!

...my friends would vouch for me, but they're all too busy shoving their faces.

Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight.

Fall down seven times get up eight.

This is a Buddhist quote that I try to live by...

I'll admit, it's not always easy. However, I imagine the people who follow this zen idea, accomplish a lot more than the average Joe.

Similar to a boxer, you don't want to stay down for the count... I'm pretty sure the goal is to get up and finish the fight.

There was a moment yesterday when I was knocked down. I continued the fight. But I did so from the floor.

After a night of sleep and clear head this morning, I decided to get back up and try again.

It's not easy. Especially because I think I achieved the success yesterday. Unfortunately, I'm not always the one that gets to make that call.

So, here's to the Buddhist- May getting up this time (somewhere around four thousand eight hundred and eighty-five) be the time that I conquer the world!

Annoyed!

Angry.

Pissed off.

Annoyed!

There's nothing worse than a disagreement between people that have completely polar views-

Especially when emotions are already high...

I hate going to bed upset!

Follow the Leader...

Remember the good ol' days when adults would ask us, "If Tommy jumped off a cliff, would you follow him?" After we'd been caught doing something insane, and blamed it on someone else.

I can't even recall how many times I heard a phrase like, "be a leader, not a follower."

But now, with the progress of social networks and websites like Twitter, children and adults across the country are being encouraged and rewarded for being a "follower."

"Follow me on Twitter" is now a phrase that you see on every website, television commercial, newscast- hell, even my dentist wants me to "follow" him! Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of it too!

I just had to stop and think about it for a moment today- The only place that following people is considered "cool" is on Twitter, and with roughly fifty million tweets per day, I'm wondering, where are all the leaders?

Ever Notice...

The closer we get to a due date, the faster the time passes?
Like my US history term paper, senior year. I knew I had three months to complete it. I was excited when I began working on it. I spent hours at the library researching and writing outlines. Then, distractions entered the scene; parties, theatre rehearsals, homework from other classes and an after school job. Before I knew it, I had a week left to turn in the paper, and only half the work was completed.
It's hard to believe that tonight's post marks entry number three hundred and thirteen!
With just under two months left with my goal of writing a blog entry a day, I'm fascinated that in many respects, it feels like I started this adventure last week.
Then again, there are moments when I've gone back and reread some of the entries from the beginning of the year, and it seems like those experiences I write about happened a lifetime ago-
I suppose life is funny that way. We're meant to experience things as they happen.
"Live in the moment."
Often we succeed-
Sometimes we fail.
When we first set out to accomplish something, the energy and spirit motivate us to push through all of the road blocks, jump all the hurdles and climb steadily up the hill. Soon, fatigue sets in. We get discouraged. At times, we spend a little too much time looking back, and then we stumble and fall.
As painful as it can be to accept, there is no way to rewind time. Nor can we slow it down.
However, in keeping this blog, I've come to terms with appreciating where I am on my journey.
I've had good days, and bad days. There have been times when I've had nothing to say, and I forced myself to write anyway.
This blog idea started out as a way for me to stay proactive in my career. Focusing on positive energy and creativity.
Ultimately, I'm beyond proud of myself.
What I've gained from keeping this promise to myself, is the ability to take a moment every single day, and focus on being present. A task that is very tricky for me. I've spent too much of my life feeling sad about the past and worrying about the future.
I used to cry every year on New Year's Eve. I never understood why? I think from a very early age, I was aware of just how fast time escapes us. Despite the fact that I can already hear the people lining up in Times Square to ring in the New Year-
I'm confident that 2010 was the first year of my life up until this very moment, that I lived everyday to its potential.

Six Word Essay on "To Do" Lists...

I need to stop the OCD!

Heavenly Horizon

I love Los Angeles. This view from my balcony is proof enough for me that heaven exists.

Football, Friends and Food!

Sun is golden, skies are blue;

Crisp chill in the air, just to remind you it's fall.

Carpool to the stadium with friends,

Taco trucks, gourmet burgers and cocktails-

the tailgate parties are more like parking lot stadium bistro's.

Funny stories, crazy competitions and old school networking...

The spirit of USC is in the air.

Kick-off.

We tipsily make our way into the coliseum.

More drinks?

Of course.

Football, friends and food!

I love Saturdays.

Friday Already?!?

Did you ever notice that some weeks feel like they drag on forever-

then there are those, where you turn around and you can't believe it's Friday?

The past week went way too fast for me!

Don't get me wrong, I love the weekend as much as the next guy...

However, I'm not wishing days away either.

I already feel like there is not enough time to accomplish everything I'd like in a week- let alone a lifetime.

That being said, I was able to finish several projects this week. Plus, despite having rehearsals and meetings in completely different directions, I managed to cross off everything on my "To Do" list! ...even though I'm trying really hard not to make "To Do" lists.

I guess I'm just going to have to accept that I'm a type 'A' personality. No matter how hard I fight it, there is going to be a part of me that wants to overachieve. Which can work out to my advantage, as long as I can forgive myself on those days where I accomplish absolutely nothing!

Daily Reminders 101

No matter how many times I've been taught and then learned, that everything works out in the end... I continue to forget the formula and research in the middle of the test.

Today, I was reminded yet again, that as long as I stay positive and focused on creating work and opportunities- the end result will be a success.

I'll never truly understand why we torture ourselves into fear, doubt and negative thought...

If my faith, friends, family and career have taught me anything, it's that I have always received exactly what I need, precisely when I need it!

It's so easy to be on the top of the mountain looking back from where you came from and think, "That wasn't so bad, and just look at what I accomplished..."

One of my main goals for 2010 was to recognize that moment, in the midst of the climb.

Though I think I've done a better job this year, than in any other year of my life-

Today I realized that I'm still a Freshman in this school of life, and the course I have to pass once and for all is Daily Reminders 101: Release the fear and doubt and trust it will all work out!

I Love Projects Like This:

From time to time I'm fortunate enough to work on a very cool project.

Several months back I was asked to choreograph an episode of the new hit television show

Childrens Hospital on [adult swim] Sunday's at midnight.

The show has an all-star cast including Malin Akerman, Megan Mullally and Rob Corddry. Directed by the hilarious and talented; writer, actor, director, producer, genius- David Wain.

I'm pleased to share the scene I choreographed for the episode, "Hot Enough For You?" as an homage to Spike Lee's film Do The Right Thing:

Another Day, Another Parody...

Since our Real Housewives of New York parodies have done so well,

we decided to go after the big guns!

(Though we may have to relocate in the witness protection program...)

You never know what connections those crazy women from New Jersey have!

According to Danielle Staub we may have to watch our back-

Oh well! We'll take our chances!

Please enjoy: The Real Housewives of New Jersey Parody!

The Never Ending Quest...

To stay focused, creative and relentless-

The battle to continue the slow, steady climb along the steep, narrowing path to the next ledge is exhausting.

Once you've reached that bench mark on the horizon, you realize you're no where near the peak;

The goal looks so close, and yet you know the worn down trail ahead will continue to surprise you.

Still, your drive and determination to reach the top will force you onward and up that rocky new terrain.

But I know the view will be amazing from the top-

So I just have to continue to find the strength.

You can't turn back when you've invested this much.

Happy Halloween

The pumpkins are carved.

The treats are tricked out!

The alcohol is lined up...

The costume is on.

The music is playing.

The spooky sound effects are at full blast-

It's time for a hauntingly good time, full of spirits!

...followed by a trip down to the Halloween parade and Rocky Horror Show!

Happy Halloween!

The Great Pumpkin Carving

Halloween:
Making candied apples and haystacks with my mom.
Grandma's homemade costumes.
The Halloween parade and costume contest at school.
Trick or Treating...
The High School dance and haunted house.
But my favorite thing...
Pumpkin Carving!
No matter how old you get, there's something magical about scooping out the insides of a pumpkin and turning it into a scary Jack-o-lantern!
I'm not sure how scary mine is this year... but it sure was fun!

Bad Haircut...

Why can't people listen?

Since when did "take an inch off the top" turn into a buzz cut?

Ugh. Bad haircuts make me so angry!

Risk Everything.

The choice to share your unique and bold point of view-

Is what separates those who are willing to risk everything to achieve their goals.

It can back fire in the beginning,

But it's the only thing that will bring you success in the end.

Grandpa

I can't believe it's been a year.
I can still hear your laugh, as you point your finger my direction and say;
"Don't make dust!"
From time to time I'll call home, hoping to talk to you...
You shared great joy and wisdom to my life for thirty-one years.
The pain of losing you is deep-
My memories of you are strong,
they keep me smiling when the sadness becomes overwhelming.
I remember; "Don't be sad, Matt."
I'm doing my best-
I really miss you grandpa!

Tasty Pumpkin Scone!

Pumpkin scone-
Your beautiful little shape,
Your glistening frosted mound-
To decadent to resist.
Bit by bit I chip away,
Savoring every crumb.
But then too soon I devour you-
You're gone. And I am bummed!

Social Junkie...

I never thought of myself as a social junkie.
I prefer human contact to a computer screen.
Having said that, I must admit that I find it harder and harder to sleep through the night...
Has someone sent me an important email?
Did someone comment on that video I uploaded to YouTube?
I wonder if anyone has commented on my photo upload to Facebook?
In the past, I used to wake up, and the first thing on my mind was getting to the bathroom in time to pee-
Now, I skip right past the cramping bladder to check my Facebook page!
I'm beginning to think I need an intervention.
I'll let you know if it becomes a problem.
Oops, gotta go!
Someone just sent me an IM!

SUNday.

The title says it all...
The sun is finally back in Los Angeles!
After what felt like months, but was more realistically about two weeks...
the golden star has made it's come back!
Just in time for this beautiful fall Sunday in October.
It's hard to be upset on a day like today!

Butterfinger!

Little yellow wrapper,
one look is all I need-
Once a year at Halloween,
my taste buds start to bleed.

The sweet, buttery goodness,
crisp and light and flaky;
Smothered in a smooth, milk chocolate-
Pure heaven for such a devilish day.
One bag for me! ...one for the kids in costume!

Lame!

People pretending to be wealthy- treating others like shit!
So lame!

Taco Time!

Tonight I'm going to throw down;

As many Mexican delectable treats as I can-

Can't wait for Happy Hour!

Out of this world delight!

Sweet, savory, sexcellent! I love Taco's!

Let Go...

...and let God!
The wonderful thing about roller coasters is that at the bottom of every;
heart dropping,
pit sinking,
crap in your pants,
anxiety filled,
pulse cranking,
adrenaline rush-
You know there is going to be another hill to climb.
At least once you get, there you'll be on top again!
...for a little while.

At A Loss...

...for words.
I'm trying to stay focused on the work ahead...
Let go of the past,
and move forward-
But, man it can sure be tough!

Sad Realization About My Reality...

I'm obsessed with Reality TV!

Rain in LA... Again.

Rainy days and Sundays-
Always get me down...
Fortunately for me, I have a full day of activities planned...
...and I don't have to go to "school" tomorrow-
So I think I'll be okay.

How To Party in a Recession...

Pre-cocktail party at my place;
Dance to some fun songs,
Quick stop at Cookies to pick up the girls-
(Maybe a few more glasses of wine...)
On the way to the birthday party;
Dinner before: Mc Donald's!
...what can I say, times are tough!

Sad Little Dog...

The barking starts at 6 am.
That sad little dog gets left alone.
The barking builds throughout the day-
By 7 pm I'm on a rage!
Poor little lonely mutt...
Please SHUT UP!

Pizza!!!

Pizza!
Thin crust,
Fat gut-
So delicious!

People Piss Me Off!

Wow.
People really piss me off!
I'm baffled at how willing people are to screw others over...
Time and again, I go out of my way to accommodate people,
Only to be burned!
...then I'm the asshole?
Really?
What about you?
Where is your accountability?
Why am I the dickhead for protecting my ass?
But when you do it, it's "just business"...
Well Fuck You! How bout that?
I'm done with you!

My Little Gram

So cute and loving;
Cozy in her favorite chair-
Fighting sleep while trying to watch a movie.
The dog asleep happily on her warm lap;
He loves her as much as I do,
Unconditional and constant-
The most giving person I know...
I love her so much.

Don't Speak...

What's that old saying?
"What can't be said, can't be said; and it can't be whistled either."
I think it goes something like that...
It's true.
If I've learned anything in the past thirty-two years of my life,
It's to keep your mouth shut when it matters.

Six Word Essay on Going Home

Time with my family is golden!

My Pregnant Sister!

My little sister is all grown up-
I'm overwhelmed with joy!
It's unbelievable that a little baby girl is growing inside...
My sister will be an amazing mother;
She's dreamed about this her whole life.
Her glow is beautiful, and her baby girl will be too-
I intend to be the best uncle ever!

Last Minute Trip...

Woke up today missing my family.
I was supposed to be in Colorado visiting this week-
It's hard to turn down working with Ben Stiller...
After the shoot wrapped last night, I thought about a last minute trip!
Thankfully I had a reward ticket- and Southwest has amazing flexibility with changing tickets.
Five minutes on the phone, and a quick trip to the spa first-
And I was on my way to LAX.
I'm happy I'll wake up tomorrow morning and see my family-
Surprised to see me!
Perfect timing too. It's my dads birthday!
Life works out, yet again!

Lights, Camera, Ben Stiller- Action!

I'm so excited!
I was hired to choreograph for Ben Stiller on his latest project!
Today is the big day.
I met with him a few days ago to rehearse, and based on that-
I'm positive today is going to be a wild, crazy, hilarious adventure!
Ben is really funny, and a great dancer!
This business is so unpredictable,
...one day I'm freaking out about car troubles,
and the next I'm working with Ben Stiller!
No matter what, I love my life!

Ball-O-Stress

Work too much-
Paid too little.
Car problems again...
LA without a car?
That can't happen...
I might as well be a cowboy without a horse!
Trying to stay positive;
It always works out.
Still, the stress is building.
At least I'm doing what I love;
Too bad it's hard to enjoy with a migraine!
...I know, I know...
That's life!

A Day Late and A Dollar Short...

More like $3,500 dollars short!
I have the worst luck with cars-
Now more than ever, I wish my childhood "superhero fantasy" of being able to fly would come true!
I'm doing everything in my power not to rage...
But make no mistake, the furry is building inside!
Range Rovers SUCK!!!!!
Does it ever get easier?
...I'm beginning to think- NOPE!

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,
I've been writing daily entries now for almost a year-
I realize that not every post is amazing, or worthy of a large audience, and massive praise...
However, I expected by now, that I'd at least peak the interest of more than two people.
Given that I have well over 1,000 friends on Facebook (not to brag just to illustrate my point...)
Yet, here I sit with only two followers!
Then I realized this morning (thanks to the help of one of my best friends who tried to subscribe to my blog site)
that there is no easy way for random people to "follow" my blog or subscribe to my feed without signing up for their own Blogger account.
After further research, I understand that there are several third party applications that allow for an email subscriber list, and after spending twenty or more minutes signing up and trying to copy the HTML into my blog site, I was unable to reach a solution!
I thought the whole purpose for blogging, is an open form to share my thoughts, feelings and exciting news- without obligation.
I learned a valuable lesson today-
NOTHING works the way you hope it does.
At least I feel a little better about having only two "followers" almost a year into my blog adventure-
I'm grateful to the both of you... wherever you are.
P. S. Please tell your friends...
Because my friends and family could care less!

Plan For Plans To Change...

In life, what I've discovered time and again;
Planning anything is a waste of energy-
It seems the more precise I am with mapping out my future,
The more likely I'm reminded that my future has a different path.
As a kid, I used to get extremely upset over this little detail,
I'd rage if something didn't go as it was choreographed.
Now, I see so obviously that the best parts of life, much like my favorite rides at amusement parks,
are the ones where you can't see the track ahead...
So I'm done stressing about failed plans-
Because failed plans have lead me to the most wonderful opportunities!

A Visit From New York!

Today one of my closest friends arrives from NYC;
Who knows what kind of crazy adventures will have this trip?
Of course we're both geeks...
So we'll probably do the "Hollywood" thing:
Site seeing,
Star maps,
Hollywood Boulevard,
Universal Studios,
Griffith Observatory,
Malibu,
Plastic Surgery...
Okay maybe not the last one- it's too expensive.
One thing is for sure-
We will eat too much, drink way too much and party like Lindsay Lohan!

Friday Night Shoot.

Nothing sounds like more fun;
After all it's Friday night!
Date night.
Game night.
Party time in LA-
...hey friends...
What are you doing this Friday night?
Don't have plans?
...EXCELLENT!
Let's shoot a parody video!
Show up at 4:00 PM, we'll shoot until 10:00 PM-
and drink and party until midnight!
That's a wrap!

On Directing Children's Theatre...

Elementary school kids are the best thing in the world!
So full of life, hope and potty humor.
Every now and then they will astound you with wisdom or truth-
They hug and love and laugh...
They are wonderful.
Just wait;
Life will beat them down soon enough.
...Ever heard of Junior High?

Dinner Party Pain

Throwing a dinner party while in extreme oral pain isn't recommended-
However, if you're a professional... like myself;
All you need is four Advil, three glasses of cheap red wine, and the funniest friends you know!

I"M IN PAIN!

I'm in so much pain I can't even see straight!
My wisdom teeth are pushing through my gums, and because of it, my entire jaw feels like it's on fire...
Sending me reeling out of control on a self-doubt hate spiral!
I hate allowing negative thoughts or fears to enter my mind.
Making my eyes well up with tears, and my heart feel like it's breaking.
I have to "make it" soon-
If not just for the burning desire inside of me;
Then for better health insurance and more money!

A Tropical Heatwave

What is going on with the weather in Los Angeles?
And please don't say Global Warming-
I'm a believer! But really?
Fall is my favorite time of year in LA...
The crisp fragrant smell in the air combined with the layers of sweaters, tweed jackets and light scarfs-
It's amazing!
I walked outside in my favorite new fall layered look and nearly passed out!
Is it too much to ask for the seasons to be the temperature they're supposed to be?
It's ruining my entire fashion plan!

Pool Day in September

One of the most amazing things about living in Los Angeles, is the weather.
So why not take advantage of the fact that it's going to be 105 degrees today?
It's Sunday.
It's Hot.
and I have a friend with a pool!
You know what that means:
Pool Party!
Sometimes I worry that I might not ever grow up...
Then I realize: Why would I ever want to do that?
Happy Sunday!

Four People In A Car...

Go Little Mini-
Small and compact, parking on Beechwood is going to be a breeze!
Too bad I can't feel my legs in the "back seat"
Is this a clown car?
Nope-
Clown cars have more room.
But hey, I can't complain...
Luigi got us all there safe!
Sure enough, we found the perfect parking space.
In the hills of Los Angeles, that's a miracle!
Amy your car rocks.
Go Little Mini

I Hate Bars.

What's the point in going out to a bar?
Loud, smokey, drunk ass people-
In over-crowded outdoor areas.
So many people with a false sense of;
confidence,
charm,
beauty.
It's sad how many people rely on "looks" they think they have,
instead of being able to articulate or even maintain a conversation-
Everyone just looking to be discovered...
But who wants to discover an uninteresting, average looking person, with no personality?
I hate bars.
I wish my friends would have their birthday parties, going away parties and whatever other parties...
At a nice home or delicious restaurant!

Art Is Fun!

Stark white Hollywood sound stage brilliantly lit-
Killer artwork-
Excellent music.
Reese Witherspoon and Jon Hamm... So cool!
Top notch food and alcohol-
All donated-
All to benefit the nonstop battle against cancer.
Live Strong!
I'm proud of my friend Brooke for making magic happen for an excellent cause.

Too Tired To Think...

Ever have those days, where no matter how much coffee you drink or how hard you try...

You can't wake up from a foggy haze?

Well, I've spent the entire day going through the motions of life and everything feels like a cloudy dream.

My head is going to hit the pillow hard in T-minus 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Six Word Essay On Technology...

I'm completely over my damn computer!

Check Out The Latest Parody!

I grew up loving shows like; In Living Color and Saturday Night Live...

So it makes perfect sense that I NEVER get tired of dressing up in crazy costumes and putting sketches together with my creative and talented friends!

This is the latest in our The Real Housewives of New York City parodies...

Hope you enjoy it as much as we did shooting it! And pay attention for a very special reality star cameo!

To view this parody full screen please click HERE.

Dinner Party in The Hollywood Hills...

Amazing house;

Wonderful people.

The wine is poured;

Dinner is delicious!

Half finished Domino's game-

The foyer makes an excellent stage for a Sound of Music singalong;

Which blows up into a full Broadway review show!

Brilliant personalities fill the decadent home.

I love this group of people!

What an exceptional evening...

I Did Nothing...

Lazy.

I feel fat and gross;

Sat on the couch most of the day watching television...

I LOVE cartoons.

Hung over from last night-

I sure can't party like I used too!

Thank God for pancakes.

Note to self:

Self, you cannot continue to waste your weekends...

You're getting older, and life isn't slowing down!

But I've got to be honest, I really had a lovely day of nothing.

Saturdays rock.

They can be anything you need them to be.

I Love Production Days!

I love days like today...

I woke up in my beautiful house,

glanced out of the window from my bedroom to see a gorgeous sunrise over downtown Los Angeles, and continued to follow the horizon all the way out to a picture perfect view of Catalina Island.

Walked into my office and sat down to write the final touches on our next parody of The Real Housewives of New York.

Walked out into my living room, which has been turned into a temporary sound stage with Green Screen and all...

and we're getting ready to shoot our final scene!

Then, this afternoon, we'll edit the footage together in the comfort of our home office / recording studio- and by this time tomorrow, we'll have another episode of our Real Housewives of New York City Parody!

I'm truly grateful that I'm fortunate enough to spend my life creating the things I dreamed about when I was a kid!

Technology... Ain't It A Bitch?

I woke up today, and my computer decided that it didn't want to wake up with me...

Every day starts nearly the same for me:

I wake up.

Splash cold water on my face.

Do a quick workout / stretch / meditation routine.

Grab a cup of coffee.

Finally, around 10 am, I make my way into my office to; check emails, update my Facebook and Twitter accounts, write my daily blog post and work on my creative projects...

This morning was no different...

That is, until I walked into my office and sat down at my desk, and realized that my computer did not feel like waking up!

I have a very nice MAC book computer- and though it's several years old... there isn't a scratch on it! I take extremely good care of my possessions- Especially the expensive electronic ones!

There was no sign of malfunction in the hard drive, and no reason for it to stay locked in "sleep" mode.

Of course I have all of the information stored on my computers hard drive backed up on two different external hard drives, and a wireless back up floating somewhere in space.

So I'm not concerned about losing any of my information... I am however totally bummed that I'm not able to follow through with my morning ritual! Plus, I have a ton of writing to do...

I decided to take my computer to the Apple store and have them run a diagnostic test.

Luckily, I was able to get an appointment today, and was in the store within thirty minutes.

After arriving at Apple and explaining my situation, the Genius behind the counter headed to the back to run a complete test-

Several minutes passed, and when he returned, he had a big smile on his face. He informed me that everything checked out "A okay!" on their diagnostic, and continued to tell me that he reset the "motherboard" so everything should be "good to go!"

So I did just that. I walked out, relived that this trip didn't cost me any money, and I was assured that there was nothing wrong with my computer. It was just a matter of resetting the system...

I came home, plugged my computer in and sat down ready to get on with my social networking and online creativity-

...only to have the damn thing go to sleep in the middle of my blog entry!

Thankfully, I have access to another computer when it's not being used... Sadly, my blog entry was lost, and I had to write a new one (which is what you're reading now!)

What's worse- I have no idea what's wrong with my computer...

and neither do the "Genius's" at the Apple store!

It makes me really hate technology!

Directing Is Fun Too!

My life's ambition is and has always been about the creative process.
As much as I love to act and perform on stage, screen or living room-
I'm also deeply passionate about directing.
As an actor, I get to focus on the journey of the character I'm playing. I get to pretend to live in this imaginative world. I get to explore emotions I might not ever experience in my real life. I get to play out a fantasy, and people watch as the story unfolds...
Where as a director, I get to blaze further into the fantasy. I enjoy building an entire world on stage or screen and collaborating with actors, writers, set, costume and lighting designers to craft an artificial reality- It really is an out of this world experience!
Especially for an artistic control freak with big ideas, like myself. Directing is about bringing a writers imagination on the page, to life on stage or screen...
It is an exhilarating, frightening, (at times) overwhelming and wonderful process- but when everything comes together, for better or for worse, it's always an amazing feeling of accomplishment!
So I hope you'll check out my latest directing adventure...

Maggie Miguel ...a corporate american employee
Written by and starring the magnificent and talented Maggie Miguel.
It's a sexy, dirty, hilariously honest show that I'm extremely proud of in every way!

It's All About The Process.

It's tough remaining positive during the creative process;
Idea after idea, shot down.
Stretching your imagination for any hint of a fresh concept.
Focusing on active thought-
Weaving your way around road blocks along the artistic path.
To make matters worse, I'm dealing with a computer that freezes every fifteen minutes like clock work...
Nothing is more damaging to the creative soul, than technology.
I want to throw my computer out the window and stomp my feet like a child.
I know that won't solve anything-
But God, the rage that I could release!
That would be creative wouldn't it?
... almost like Performance Art!

Health, Health, Health.

I exercise because I have to!
Not because I enjoy it!
In fact, I really despise that very idea that in order for me to stay thin and "healthy" I'm required to keep my heart rate up for twenty minutes and stay active;
Anyone who knows me can attest to the point that I would much rather spend my day watching television or lounging by a pool- in either scenario I'd be sipping on wine and over-eating...
Nevertheless, I force myself to get up off my tired, flabby ass and workout. At least four times a week.
Today, I decided I should push myself-
So I took a twenty minute hike up a steep, but scenic road in the gorgeous Hollywood Hills.
I was so inspired by the landscape and the idea that I live and work in La La Land... that I decided to run/jog on the way back home.
I thought I was going to die. Right there on Sunset Boulevard.
I pushed through the pain and made it home...
My knees want to kill me! My back is twisted and torn, and my ass still feels flabby!
Sometimes you just have to ask: "What's the point?"
...But I trust that when I'm old and grey, I'll be happy that I stayed active.

Dear food,
I'm sorry I have to eat you less.
Counting calories isn't as much fun as gorging on you...
I made a promise to myself to remember that my health is more important than a second helping.
Not to mention I just love the way I look in my favorite jeans;
...vain I know, but honest.
So you see food, I just have to see less of you.
It's nothing personal.

Your friend,
Matthew

Peace

Today, I remember;
I pray for the victims, survivors and the men and women still serving to keep our country safe.
I celebrate our freedom.
I honor my responsibilities to contribute to a brighter, more peaceful, evolved global humanity.
I give thanks for the opportunities provided to me as a United States citizen-
I strive to encourage tolerance among people who continue to hate.

Rehearsal

Long hours working for perfection.
Creative juices flowing,
Emotions are high,
Tempers rage from people you'd least expect-
Drama, drama, drama!
The life of an artist is bitter sweet,
Giving one hundred percent of your passion, sweat and tears,
A lot of tears!
The end result is always worth it,
A beautiful masterpiece,
Over too soon.

MAC

Mad
At
Computers tonight!

Two Random Thoughts...

I can't believe how fast time goes while on vacation...
...and how slow it goes while sitting in the lobby of the doctors office.

I wonder how many times I'm going to re-learn the same "life" lessons, before I just trust that it always works out..

The Beauty of Water

Peaceful and mesmerizing-
I love the calm still feeling that surrounds me.
Floating on a zen cloud;
The deep blue blanket of night sky above me.
At first glance a bright star catches my attention;
Gaze deeper, and thousands of twinkling lights appear from nowhere;
Magic!
The water is nourishing;
It cradles me like a baby,
Careful though- water can be breathtaking.

Labor Day

Alas, the time has come;
The grill was used a lot this summer,
Too many hamburgers, chips and French onion dip-

Children everywhere are bummed;
Time to swap swimsuits and trips to the mall,
For backpacks and long hours in the library.
Remember the smell of a classroom?
Or back to school shopping?

I do love the aroma of fall though;
Wearing layers of clothing-
Football games.

Why do we get a special holiday for working anyway?
Isn't that what weekends are for?
Whatever. I enjoy any excuse for a three day celebration!
Even if it means that yet another summer is over!

Selfish.

Today is my sisters thirtieth birthday;
I'm sad I couldn't be with her-
When I turned thirteen she spent all of her allowance on me;
Balloons and banners, she hooked up our house.
She was only eleven at the time,
She was so excited to throw a huge party to celebrate my becoming a teenager-
I didn't even send her a card for her big 3- O...
To be fair... We both stopped exchanging birthday cards and gifts several years back.
Still- Turning thirty is a milestone.
My only excuse: selfishness
I promise I'll make it up to her.
Who doesn't like a surprise?!?

Vacation!

Two hour car trip;
Checked in early and unpacked my bags.
Quick trip to the supermarket,
Delicious dinner in the suite.
Late night lounging poolside-
The ceiling of twinkling stars was breathtaking!
Time to relax, enjoy, and regain some perspective-

Insomnia...

It's five o'clock in the morning...
I have not yet gone to bed-
My eyes are burning and will hardly stay open.
Yet each time I attempt to sleep, my brain starts working overtime!
I hate insomnia!
It's going to be a long day...

Six Word Essay on Happiness.

Staying positive is really tough sometimes.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game!

Let's go Dodgers!
Sadly, the Los Angeles Dodgers did not win their game against the Phillies-
Happily, I won my game of: Eat as much stadium junk food as you can!
"Buy me some..."
Peanuts- check!
Nachos- check!
Garlic French Fries- check!
Super Footlong Dodger Dog- check!  (Times two!)
...and of course no trip to Dodger Stadium would be complete without at least two beers- check plus!!!
It was a fun day all around.  Even if the Dodgers couldn't get a run to save their lives...
We had a blast!
Now I'm in a major junk food coma-
And I fully realize why we have an obesity problem in this country!!!
Americas favorite pass time is NOT Baseball-  It's FOODball!

I Love Auditions!

I don't care who you are, or how long you've been an actor in the entertainment industry-

You will never get used to the crazy world of auditioning.

Don't get me wrong, I love auditions!

An audition is an opportunity to work as an actor.

It means that you're doing something right...

You have "something" that "someone" in this business might want to use-

I'm thankful for every audition I get called in for!

Nevertheless, there are always those brilliant moments when an audition feels more like torture, than a fun, creative, potential job...

Today, I had the pleasure of auditioning for a small, but juicy role in an independent movie with a great script and some amazing talent attached.

The scene that I was auditioning for was extremely intense. The character I was playing gets shot in the leg, while on a wild chase through the woods. At the height of the drama, the character realizes that his allies might just end up switching alliances and turn the gun on him instead of saving him.

Of course the professional that I am- I spent a lot of time working on the scene. Because this was a big chase scene, with bullets flying through the air and a lot of over the top dialogue leading up to my character getting shot in the leg, I wanted to make sure that my audition would be honest and dramatic, without being cheesy...

I arrived in Santa Monica, only to realize, that the audition was being held in a makeshift "office" / living room in a 1960's apartment complex.

Now, this is not some random, shady casting director, that's going to ask me to take off my clothes on camera- This is a major casting director in the film industry-

So I was shocked, when I signed in, and was asked to, "keep the yelling down, because this room echos..."

Wasn't I auditioning for the crazy, gun happy maniac, who (according to the script) was yelling like a mad man?

If that wasn't strange enough, I start my audition, and because I've been asked not to yell, I'm making the "choice" to keep the dialogue extremely intense and intimate- Only to hear the casting directors iPhone ring during my line, "I think I'm gonna die if you leave me here..."

Oh, the good times!

As if it weren't difficult enough to pretend that I'm in the middle of the woods, with a gunshot wound, being chased down a hill, while sitting in a living room in sunny Santa Monica with a casting director sitting behind a folding table reading every other line in the script-

Now I have to compete with an iPhone?

God, auditions are a blast!